Hi, thanks for taking a look at this topic,
It seems that acne does more emotional damage than physical to me. And that doesn't mean I'm imagining my flaws, I have moderate to severe acne and many pitted scars and hyperpigmentation. Tried everything from prescribed to over-the-counter, from restrcited diets to the regimen. Oh, and laser treatments too. Spend about two thousand dollars in the past two years. But I just can't get rid of it.
I began to avoid my friends, public places, Tv shows and youtube, because everyone out there seems to have problem-less skin. People with clear skin gives me a really hard time as they remind me of how montrous I look.
Now I'm house bound and friendless. I have let acne ruin my social life and especially the bonds with my family. It's because all I do everyday is cry and complain, and even verybally attack my mom by asking her why she couldn't have given me proper skin. No wonder she's not talking to me anymore.
Last night I have come to the point of wanting to inch off every bit of my disgusting skin with a kitchen knife. I was frustrated at my skin for ruining my life and I wanted to kill it.
i really need help. I really want someone to talk to. Any kind of message would do. Please help me.
Thank-you.
Hi, thanks for taking a look at this topic,
It seems that acne does more emotional damage than physical to me. And that doesn't mean I'm imagining my flaws, I have moderate to severe acne and many pitted scars and hyperpigmentation. Tried everything from prescribed to over-the-counter, from restrcited diets to the regimen. Oh, and laser treatments too. Spend about two thousand dollars in the past two years. But I just can't get rid of it.
I began to avoid my friends, public places, Tv shows and youtube, because everyone out there seems to have problem-less skin. People with clear skin gives me a really hard time as they remind me of how montrous I look.
Now I'm house bound and friendless. I have let acne ruin my social life and especially the bonds with my family. It's because all I do everyday is cry and complain, and even verybally attack my mom by asking her why she couldn't have given me proper skin. No wonder she's not talking to me anymore.
Last night I have come to the point of wanting to inch off every bit of my disgusting skin with a kitchen knife. I was frustrated at my skin for ruining my life and I wanted to kill it.
i really need help. I really want someone to talk to. Any kind of message would do. Please help me.
Thank-you.
Aiko333, I'm here if you need someone to talk to!
I (as well as everyone on this site) understands how emotional acne can truly be, and how it can affect so much more than just skin. In your words "I have let acne ruin my social life and especially the bonds with my family." Don't let a skin issue change your entire life. You are the same person inside, whether your skin is clear or not. Your friends and family love you, no matter what you look like.
Acne may be temporary or it may be long term. If you have to live with it, then try and be as positive as you can about it. If you let things get to you and ruin your life, that would not be a fun life to live.
You are in the right place my friend, many of us have been in your shoes. I remember many days waking up, looking in the mirror and wanting to tear my face off.
It's essential though to try to gain as much perspective as you can, because it's so easy to get so caught up in acne and let it rule you. It's only a part of you, it's something that will eventually go away and it's important it doesn't ruin you. Regardless of how you feel now, you can wake up tomorrow and choose to fight it. Choose to smile.
That aside, I strongly suggest trying The Regimen again and failing that, because its effecting you so badly, I would personally try Accutane. It changed my life, it was the best choice I ever made.
You really aren't alone, the feeling of disgust of looking at yourself in the mirror every morning, not wanting to go to school and feeling like the most unattractive human being on the planet is something i can easily relate to. No one around me suffered from it as much as i did so i was alone and well i didn't know about this forums back then so i had no one to talk to about it. You must remain strong it will end, i know it seems like it wont but trust me one day you'll be the one encouraging others to be strong. Don't let acne dictate the quality of your life, not everyone is a judgmental bigot.
But you were born. So what are you going to do about it? You can choose to sulk and be depressed, or go out and face the world. If you find a purpose in life, then that will give you a sense of direction. Maybe try volunteering or help people online if you have social anxiety. Anything to make you feel useful. Also, take a look at the various approaches people on acne.org have taken to fight their acne and pick one that you haven't tried yet and stick with it consistently. Don't let it beat you. We all struggle with it every day, you are not alone.
I used to blame my genetics for my acne, but you have to accept that you are acne prone. Isn't it better than having some other disease though? I know that we live in a superficial society, but what can we do about it? You just need to find things that take the focus off of your self...find a hobby that makes you happy and keeps you from obsessing about your skin. It will get easier every day. And avoid mirrors. It's funny how we obsess about acne and yet we can't actually see our face, we just go by what the mirror shows us.
Agreed, keep fighting, get a good action plan, it may take a while but you will find it, try the regimine and try some diet changes too - quit dairy for a month and see what happens.
Turn the frustration into going to war against the enemy, acne. And get out and get some exercise and fresh air - start to socialize slowly, very slowly.
And we are here for you! And call your mother, make peace, I'm sure she loves you and can be a great comfort to you, don't deprive yourself of that.
Hey aiko333! I totally understand what you are feeling. Sometimes I would get so frustrated when I would look in the mirror and realize that whatever acne treatment I was on at the time wasn't working. And I would cry and think, "why do I have to be battling with this?" I encourage you to not give up. You are a special person and God put you on this earth for a reason. I know sometimes acne makes you feel worthless, but you're not. Find your purpose in life. This is the time you need to surround yourself with family (who love you unconditionally) and this is the time to reconnect with your closest friends... The ones you feel most comfortable around who do not judge you. You need to laugh again! You need to feel carefree again! It may give you anxiety thinking about reconnecting with old friends, so start with texting them or a phone call. Then have the friend over to your house to watch a movie so the focus is not on you and ur friend is not staring at your face the whole time. Remember that these hard times will pass. But I think the light at the end of the tunnel for you would be accutane. If you have tried everything and are at ur wit's end, then I think it's time to talk to your dr about accutane. Two of my siblings were on it about ten years ago and it was a miracle drug for them. They have been acne free ever since. I will be praying for your depression/anxiety and that you and your dermatologist will find something that works. Hit me up of you ever need to talk cuz I have definitely been in your position.
Thank-you all for the kind messages you gave me. Thank-you so much. I can't thank you guys enough.
I was literally tearing up as I read each message one by one. None of you out there told me to suck it up, and instead encouraged me to stay strong like I actually mattered. This had so far never happened in my life, because when I would gain all the courage to open up to discuss my concerns with a friend or a family member, the very last message they would give me was "it's no big problem, so suck it up". I was expecting the same kind of message from you guys too but I wish I could have read these messages earlier and thank you guys much faster as all of them were very, very supportive.
Seriously, all of you out there are heroes. You took your time and thought replying to my very depressing some what crazy post, and instead of thinking "what's wrong with this girl" you actually answered my SOS and reached out a hand when you don't even know me. I think this is amazing. God bless you all and may you have the best life you ever had yet because you deserved it.
I may be saying this too much, BUT ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU 
Stay strong, you will get through this if you stay positive, not matter how hard it may seem. Keep trying to find a cure, don't give up!
Honestly if my acne were bothering me that much, I'd push hard for Accutane. There are side effects but mine were dry and sensitive skin.
When you take Accutane, you are monitored. Worst case scenario you stop taking it. But the really bad side effects that you often hear about Accutane, are so rare.
I´d suggest you tell your doctor how depressed you are and that you want something to work and I think he will prescribe you accutane. Hey again aiko33! It warms my heart to know you are doing a little better and are making an effort to get back out in the world and hang out with your friends and do some volunteering! That really is a hard step when you feel so insecure, but keep pressing on and keep on hanging out with friends and you will find that it gets easier and easier to socialize and be around people. I would often have ppl give me compliments, saying I was pretty or they liked how I dressed, but they had no idea what was going on inside of me. I had major insecurity issues from being overweight as a child (and still battling my weight all these years (I'm 27)) and I battled with social anxiety/depression, but I never told anyone. So if you talked to these girls with clear skin, you would probably find out they have issues/insecurities they struggle with too. None of us are without afflictions! (Too bad, right? Haha)
Back to you going out with your friend for sushi... I am glad y'all had a great time and you were able to let all of your worries go for a while. What is your favorite sushi roll called? What ingredients does it have in it?
On the accutane subject... I think you need to have a very open discussion with your mom about how acne is affecting your life (your self esteem, your social life, your self worth, and it affects how you view other). Sorry this is written so poorly- I'm trying to get all my thoughts out. Pull up WebMD's website about accutane and have her look for herself that the bad side effects are very rare. You might want to try to find some studies (reputable) that report how likely (percentages) these rare effects are to happen. I would be very honest and open (without getting bad/defensive) in telling her how this drug is going to change your life and free you from acne's bondage. And it is worth the VERY SMALL risk of long-term effects.
Let me know what's happening with you is the next couple of days. I look forward to hearing from you!
I feel the exact samen way. First night back at college and I am sitting in my room while all my friends are out. It sucks but we have to just keep hoping for the best. People care about you whether you like it or not and if you don't want to keep fighting for yourself, do it for them.
Hi, thanks for taking a look at this topic,
It seems that acne does more emotional damage than physical to me. And that doesn't mean I'm imagining my flaws, I have moderate to severe acne and many pitted scars and hyperpigmentation. Tried everything from prescribed to over-the-counter, from restrcited diets to the regimen. Oh, and laser treatments too. Spend about two thousand dollars in the past two years. But I just can't get rid of it.
I began to avoid my friends, public places, Tv shows and youtube, because everyone out there seems to have problem-less skin. People with clear skin gives me a really hard time as they remind me of how montrous I look.
Now I'm house bound and friendless. I have let acne ruin my social life and especially the bonds with my family. It's because all I do everyday is cry and complain, and even verybally attack my mom by asking her why she couldn't have given me proper skin. No wonder she's not talking to me anymore.
Last night I have come to the point of wanting to inch off every bit of my disgusting skin with a kitchen knife. I was frustrated at my skin for ruining my life and I wanted to kill it.
i really need help. I really want someone to talk to. Any kind of message would do. Please help me.
Thank-you.
I know the exact position that you're in. I have my own thread on this website describing the battle that I deal with everyday, in reference to my skin. I constantly feel that I'm at war with myself because my mind and body are disagreeing. My mind wants everything to look perfect ad my body reacts by giving me acne and distorted images of my body. I also have a difficult time looking/being around people who have clear skin...But then I try to remember that EVERYONE has their sh*t. My best friend has recently outgrown his acne, but he suffers from Bi-Polar II disorder. My sister has barely had a pimple in her life, but she has Trichotillomania. And just so you know, even the most perceived beautiful people in the world do NOT have great skin. Megan Fox (considered one of the sexiest women on the planet) has pretty bad acne. Cameron Diaz, Katy Perry, Brittany Spears, Daniel Radcliffe, Tom Felton, Heidi Klum... All celebrities that have bad skin. I try to remember that it's all lighting, makeup, and airbrushing that makes these people look flawless. It's all a mind trip.
I completely relate being housebound. I am basically living the same way. I also know what it's like to snap and yell at people. I sometimes lose control and yell at my parents telling them to "make it better" or ask them "why aren't you doing anything to help me?". As if they have any control what my body will and will not do. If things seem horrible right now and couldn't possibly get any worse... there is some good news. You can only go up from here! You can make the conscious choice to construct a life worth living. I don't know you and I don't know what your skin looks like, but regardless I know three things:
You is kind. You is smart. You is important... Say it to yourself enough and one day you'll believe it. Xo ~Rosalie
hey everyone
Thanks for all the replies you still give me.
I realised a lot of people were recommending Accutane, so I went to my family doctor (after a very nasty battle with my mom of course) last week, where surprisingly he wasn't able to prescribe any because my acne was not bad enough(I still can't believe this). But thanks to all the suggestions, they were still very helpful. Now I am currently on the regimen in hopes it would do something good for me.
Right now my face is doing great (now new breakouts, no new redness, totally under control), but I know its only temporary because I have this really weird cycle of breaking out once every two weeks, and its always on the high points of my cheeks. I used to get acne on my cheeks when I was in my teens, I was happily acne free in the area until recently, about a month ago I started getting spots.
Now the good thing is that those spots disappear within a week, but it draws all these negative emotions which I can't stand. I cry, I get frustrated, I have all these suicidal thoughts.... I continue to be emotionally unstable until my spots clear up. Then I'm back to my happy, normal self when my skin starts clearing up.
I feel like a total weirdo coming out of the closet and writing this out, but at the same time I can't control this gush of negative feelings I have when I find a new pimple (regardless of severity or size), it's like I'm on this emotional roller coaster and it's making my life more difficult than it needs to be,
Since you guys gave me a lot of valuable suggestions, can someone tell me their strategies on coping with emotional effects on acne this time?
Thanks lots,
Aiko
hey everyone
Thanks for all the replies you still give me.
I realised a lot of people were recommending Accutane, so I went to my family doctor (after a very nasty battle with my mom of course) last week, where surprisingly he wasn't able to prescribe any because my acne was not bad enough(I still can't believe this). But thanks to all the suggestions, they were still very helpful. Now I am currently on the regimen in hopes it would do something good for me.
Right now my face is doing great (now new breakouts, no new redness, totally under control), but I know its only temporary because I have this really weird cycle of breaking out once every two weeks, and its always on the high points of my cheeks. I used to get acne on my cheeks when I was in my teens, I was happily acne free in the area until recently, about a month ago I started getting spots.
Now the good thing is that those spots disappear within a week, but it draws all these negative emotions which I can't stand. I cry, I get frustrated, I have all these suicidal thoughts.... I continue to be emotionally unstable until my spots clear up. Then I'm back to my happy, normal self when my skin starts clearing up.
I feel like a total weirdo coming out of the closet and writing this out, but at the same time I can't control this gush of negative feelings I have when I find a new pimple (regardless of severity or size), it's like I'm on this emotional roller coaster and it's making my life more difficult than it needs to be,
Since you guys gave me a lot of valuable suggestions, can someone tell me their strategies on coping with emotional effects on acne this time?
Thanks lots,
Aiko
You are not a totaly weirdo. Many of us experience the same exact things/emotions when we have a new pimple or breakout. In all honesty, we do make out lives more difficult than we need to because we are so focused on the negative aspects that we forget to acknowledge the positive. It's not entirely out fault though, so we also can't judge ourselves. Our brains are making us believe things that aren't true.
Coping strategies... There are many things that you can do to avoid exasperating the emotional roller coaster. I'll tell you the things that I do to make my life a little bit easier:
Keep the lights off when I wash my face, apply topical medications, brush my teeth, etc (basically anytime I'm in a bathroom, the lights are off)
Wash my face with a buff puff so that I don't need to feel my acne while I cleanse my face
Keep my hands busy so I don't touch my face and feel the bumps (knitting, typing, baking, etc)
Avoid reflective surfaces... I mean ANY and ALL reflective sufaces (mirrors, glass, webcams, etc)
Have my mum do my makeup.
Fill your life with things that keep your mind off your acne. Do things that you enjoy. Be with people that you enjoy being with. Don't let your skin run your life and dictate what you can and cannot do.
Last, but not least. Smile. If you smile I guarantee that nobody will be looking at your acne. They'll be looking at your lit up face and eyes from smiling! It will help you look and feel better. Which is what really matters.
You can get through this! Xo ~Rosalie
hey everyone
Thanks for all the replies you still give me.
I realised a lot of people were recommending Accutane, so I went to my family doctor (after a very nasty battle with my mom of course) last week, where surprisingly he wasn't able to prescribe any because my acne was not bad enough(I still can't believe this). But thanks to all the suggestions, they were still very helpful. Now I am currently on the regimen in hopes it would do something good for me.
Right now my face is doing great (now new breakouts, no new redness, totally under control), but I know its only temporary because I have this really weird cycle of breaking out once every two weeks, and its always on the high points of my cheeks. I used to get acne on my cheeks when I was in my teens, I was happily acne free in the area until recently, about a month ago I started getting spots.
Now the good thing is that those spots disappear within a week, but it draws all these negative emotions which I can't stand. I cry, I get frustrated, I have all these suicidal thoughts.... I continue to be emotionally unstable until my spots clear up. Then I'm back to my happy, normal self when my skin starts clearing up.
I feel like a total weirdo coming out of the closet and writing this out, but at the same time I can't control this gush of negative feelings I have when I find a new pimple (regardless of severity or size), it's like I'm on this emotional roller coaster and it's making my life more difficult than it needs to be,
Since you guys gave me a lot of valuable suggestions, can someone tell me their strategies on coping with emotional effects on acne this time?
Thanks lots,
Aiko
I don't know if you're still struggling with this, but I wanted to let you know that I have the exact same thing going on with my face. Breakouts on my cheeks basically every two or three weeks that take forever to go away and totally knock me back to this depressed and panicky state that is abnormal for me.
I've realised it is likely hormonal and I'm going on birth control to deal with it. I'd rather not have to take a pill, but I don't have the willpower to stick to a diet and herbal plan. I like food too much 