Notifications
Clear all

Afraid To Go Away To College... Because Of My Skin...

MemberMember
26
(@flowergirl1234)

Posted : 07/17/2013 11:59 pm

Because I will be going into my senior year of high school, I have been thinking about college a lot. I have also been thinking about my skin. Currently, I don't leave the house without makeup on, EVER. I don't even usually walk around my house without it on. It's the first thing I do in the morning: brush teeth, wash face, and put on my makeup. I absolutely HATE how I look without it, because my skin is so ugly. So how am I supposed to go away and live in a dorm and share a bathroom with a bunch of people? My stomach hurts just thinking about people seeing how bad my skin is. I don't know why, but if I had acne, but I didn't have huge pores all over my face, I don't think I'd feel the same way. It really bothers me that my flawed skin controls my life so friggin' much. Most of the time I think I'll probably go to the university close to my home so I don't have to live in a dorm. It sucks, because I want the college experience and to be able to get away from home, but I feel sooo insecure. I know a lot of people will probably think this is stupid and shallow, but this is the way I feel.

Does anyone have any advice/ similar experiences?

Quote
MemberMember
0
(@aser0225409)

Posted : 07/18/2013 12:15 am

Dont be so insecure you are a really pretty girl.Im sure no one is going to make fun of you and you will have fun,Just wash your face and exfoliate.Ps your really cute no one will say anything I promise you.

Quote
MemberMember
58
(@snsdgirl14)

Posted : 07/18/2013 1:10 am

Noooo! DON'T let your acne take away from your college experience!!! I had one of the worst breakouts of my life freshman year of college, but even with that, it was still one of the best years of my life because of all the people I met and the life experiences I had. I grew up so much in that one year, and I know I wouldn't have learned as much if I hadn't lived in a dorm. My dorm was one of my favorite things about college, in fact.

Like I said I had one of the worst breakouts of my life that year. My cheeks were covered in red marks, making me look like I had the chicken pox or something. It was hard, but I got through it. Trust me, you'll get over the whole sharing a bathroom thing. If you get up early enough, there's usually no one in there. And even if there are people in there, they're too busy to scrutinize your face. Plus, I can't count how many girls I saw with flawed skin in college.

I, like you, am insecure without makeup. Most of the time I would get up, go the dorm bathroom and wash my face etc, then go back to my room and get ready for classes (putting makeup on). Then I would keep it on for the rest of the day and night, touching up as needed if I happened to go back into my room. The good thing about hanging out in a dorm is that you're always close to your room, so if you want to touch up your makeup you can just go quickly and do it. It's really not bad at all, and in fact, you may find yourself thinking about your skin less often cause you'll have makeup on and you'll be meeting new people. No one's skin is absolutely perfect, especially not in college. I saw a lot of people with even severe acne who had no problem meeting people and having a good time. You look very pretty from your avatar, so I'm sure no one will even notice your skin.

Trust me, I know how it feels. I have oily, acne prone skin with huge pores too. But despite that and my insecurities, I still made friends, even met a guy and had quite a long thing with him for the year (even while my skin was bad). Like I said, even though my skin made it a tough year, I wouldn't change it for anything because of how much fun I had.

Quote
MemberMember
2
(@coolusername)

Posted : 07/18/2013 4:15 am

If you ever talk to anyone, it's not a good idea to interpret anything they are doing. What I mean is that, even people who have good skin, when they talk to each other, it's not like they stare at each other's face all the time. And the other person doesn't have to have a smile the entire conversation. People who have good skin do not smile for an entire conversation.
So you don't have to think that "This person is judging my personality and my skin because he/she has this certain facial expression or because her arms are crossed." No, people are generally want to have a regular social interaction and people are nice.
One more thing: It is normal for people to look at the other person slowly. I used to think that "He or she is
having difficulties looking at me because I have acne. He is taking his sweet time to making eye contact with me."
However, looking at other people slowly is the best way to interact. Looking at other people suddenly actually looks like the other person is reluctant to look at you or something. So, understanding how social interactions work will go a long way to ease your fear. People are nice, especially in college. Believe it. :)
Quote
MemberMember
10
(@mandarine)

Posted : 07/18/2013 4:38 am

 

Hi,

I'm the same situation, don't feel alone!

So how am I supposed to go away and live in a dorm and share a bathroom with a bunch of people? My stomach hurts just thinking about people seeing how bad my skin is. I don't know why, but if I had acne, but I didn't have huge pores all over my face, I don't think I'd feel the same way. It really bothers me that my flawed skin controls my life so friggin' much. Most of the time I think I'll probably go to the university close to my home so I don't have to live in a dorm. It sucks, because I want the college experience and to be able to get away from home, but I feel sooo insecure. I know a lot of people will probably think this is stupid and shallow, but this is the way I feel.

Quote
MemberMember
86
(@bodie81)

Posted : 07/18/2013 2:17 pm

When I was at school in England (a looooooong time ago now), I was fairly good academically and it was my ambition to go on to 6th Form College and then University.

However, whilst I was at school, because I had acne I was bullied not just verbally but physically. School was hell and I had no friends in my class so I just got my head down, worked as hard as I could and achieved relatively good GCSE results.

I then went on to 6th form college. Although there was the opportunity to meet new people there, some of the kids who bullied me were also there. It was too much for me to take and because I couldn`t stand the thought of two years with those same kids, I jacked in doing my A-levels and the possibility of going on to University. At the time, my parents and mum in particular were livid with me for throwing away my education. Until a few months ago, I never told her the real reason for me quitting 6th Form College.

I am now 40 and in a dead end job. I wish to god that I had stuck out 6th form and gone on to University. My life may have turned out differently if I had done and not let the bullies win.

SavyBanana it is up to you, but I would strongly urge you to go to College otherwise in years to come, you may end up with regrets like me. I know you probably won`t believe this but from what I can see, your skin is absolutely fine and your pores are no different or any larger than anyone elses pores. I`m pretty certain that anyone else including any future dorm mates would agree with me.

Good luck. I hope you do decide to go to College and if you do, I`m sure you will enjoy it.

Quote
MemberMember
58
(@snsdgirl14)

Posted : 07/18/2013 2:51 pm

SavyBanana, I just looked at your pictures out of curiosity and I have to say...you have NOTHING to worry about! Your skin looks fine, even perfect if I might add. And even if you still do get zits sometimes, or think you have acne prone skin, your skin looks really good. No one at college will judge you for your skin, trust me. You'll have similar, if not better skin than a lot of the kids there. Pleeeease don't miss out on the college experience for this. I guarantee you will regret it.

Quote
MemberMember
197
(@lilly75)

Posted : 07/18/2013 6:14 pm

I go to a uni near where I live (was lucky to be somewhat close to a great uni that also offered a degree I wanted to study), so I can't really comment on sharing a bathroom or dorm life etc - but I can completely understand why you feel anxious about that. In the next two years, depending on how things work out for me, I might move interstate to continue my study - and then I would be stressing about a shared bathroom like you are too.

But in no way should you let that worry stop you from getting the education you want and deserve, or from having the 'college experience!' I guess it's a bit different to over there, but nonetheless I've loved uni here and have enjoyed it so much more than high school. I love the people I've met and the opportunities I've had.

I think one thing to remember is that you still have a while before actually going to college or doing whatever you decide to do after school. So try not to stress about it too much now because it's still a while away smile.png Also, I think you really do have lovely skin and I don't think people are going to notice enlarged pores or something like that (they would still have to be standing very close to you :P) and the odd breakout shouldn't change how people think or act toward you! Go to college when the time comes, you'll be fine I'm sure :)

Quote
MemberMember
26
(@flowergirl1234)

Posted : 07/18/2013 9:14 pm

Dont be so insecure you are a really pretty girl.Im sure no one is going to make fun of you and you will have fun,Just wash your face and exfoliate.Ps your really cute no one will say anything I promise you.

Haha, thank you! wub.png

Noooo! DON'T let your acne take away from your college experience!!! I had one of the worst breakouts of my life freshman year of college, but even with that, it was still one of the best years of my life because of all the people I met and the life experiences I had. I grew up so much in that one year, and I know I wouldn't have learned as much if I hadn't lived in a dorm. My dorm was one of my favorite things about college, in fact.

Like I said I had one of the worst breakouts of my life that year. My cheeks were covered in red marks, making me look like I had the chicken pox or something. It was hard, but I got through it. Trust me, you'll get over the whole sharing a bathroom thing. If you get up early enough, there's usually no one in there. And even if there are people in there, they're too busy to scrutinize your face. Plus, I can't count how many girls I saw with flawed skin in college.

I, like you, am insecure without makeup. Most of the time I would get up, go the dorm bathroom and wash my face etc, then go back to my room and get ready for classes (putting makeup on). Then I would keep it on for the rest of the day and night, touching up as needed if I happened to go back into my room. The good thing about hanging out in a dorm is that you're always close to your room, so if you want to touch up your makeup you can just go quickly and do it. It's really not bad at all, and in fact, you may find yourself thinking about your skin less often cause you'll have makeup on and you'll be meeting new people. No one's skin is absolutely perfect, especially not in college. I saw a lot of people with even severe acne who had no problem meeting people and having a good time. You look very pretty from your avatar, so I'm sure no one will even notice your skin.

Trust me, I know how it feels. I have oily, acne prone skin with huge pores too. But despite that and my insecurities, I still made friends, even met a guy and had quite a long thing with him for the year (even while my skin was bad). Like I said, even though my skin made it a tough year, I wouldn't change it for anything because of how much fun I had.

Wow, thank you! This has actually convinced me to go away to college. You make some really good points, and I can only hope that I have as great of an experience as you, despite my skin. I definitely don't want to make my decision based on my skin.

If you ever talk to anyone, it's not a good idea to interpret anything they are doing. What I mean is that, even people who have good skin, when they talk to each other, it's not like they stare at each other's face all the time. And the other person doesn't have to have a smile the entire conversation. People who have good skin do not smile for an entire conversation.
So you don't have to think that "This person is judging my personality and my skin because he/she has this certain facial expression or because her arms are crossed." No, people are generally want to have a regular social interaction and people are nice.
One more thing: It is normal for people to look at the other person slowly. I used to think that "He or she is
having difficulties looking at me because I have acne. He is taking his sweet time to making eye contact with me."
However, looking at other people slowly is the best way to interact. Looking at other people suddenly actually looks like the other person is reluctant to look at you or something. So, understanding how social interactions work will go a long way to ease your fear. People are nice, especially in college. Believe it. smile.png

This is great advice. I'm very paranoid about this kind of thing, so I will try and keep this in mind. Thank you.

Hi,

I'm the same situation, don't feel alone!

So how am I supposed to go away and live in a dorm and share a bathroom with a bunch of people? My stomach hurts just thinking about people seeing how bad my skin is. I don't know why, but if I had acne, but I didn't have huge pores all over my face, I don't think I'd feel the same way. It really bothers me that my flawed skin controls my life so friggin' much. Most of the time I think I'll probably go to the university close to my home so I don't have to live in a dorm. It sucks, because I want the college experience and to be able to get away from home, but I feel sooo insecure. I know a lot of people will probably think this is stupid and shallow, but this is the way I feel.

In two weeks, I'll go for a entirely month to work 300kms away from my home. I freak out thinking how will I keep doing the Regimen?

How will I have to spend time in bathroom?

How will, the bunch of people which who I'll live for a month, react when they will see me obsessed with sunscreen? With moisturizers that make my skin look oily (it's so dry and red because of Epiduo)? With cleanser? With acne treatment?

And then, in september, if I'll live with roomates? Will they think I'm a sociopathe-obsessed-with-my-skin-and-so-much-egocentric-that-she-inspires-pity?

I know it's sounds so much superficial that I feel ludicrous writing this. But you know what? I think I'll go next month to work right there, and that I'll try to find roomates, even if my habits will be disturbed: we're not old lady, damn it.

So, don't go to the university close to your home just because of acne. Don't let it dictate your life, and don't let it make you miss college experience, you would regret it.

Thank you. It's great that you are going to take advantage of such a great opportunity. Thanks for the advice.

When I was at school in England (a looooooong time ago now), I was fairly good academically and it was my ambition to go on to 6th Form College and then University.

However, whilst I was at school, because I had acne I was bullied not just verbally but physically. School was hell and I had no friends in my class so I just got my head down, worked as hard as I could and achieved relatively good GCSE results.

I then went on to 6th form college. Although there was the opportunity to meet new people there, some of the kids who bullied me were also there. It was too much for me to take and because I couldn`t stand the thought of two years with those same kids, I jacked in doing my A-levels and the possibility of going on to University. At the time, my parents and mum in particular were livid with me for throwing away my education. Until a few months ago, I never told her the real reason for me quitting 6th Form College.

I am now 40 and in a dead end job. I wish to god that I had stuck out 6th form and gone on to University. My life may have turned out differently if I had done and not let the bullies win.

SavyBanana it is up to you, but I would strongly urge you to go to College otherwise in years to come, you may end up with regrets like me. I know you probably won`t believe this but from what I can see, your skin is absolutely fine and your pores are no different or any larger than anyone elses pores. I`m pretty certain that anyone else including any future dorm mates would agree with me.

Good luck. I hope you do decide to go to College and if you do, I`m sure you will enjoy it.

Wow, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your experience with my. I will keep this in mind when the time comes to apply for college.

SavyBanana, I just looked at your pictures out of curiosity and I have to say...you have NOTHING to worry about! Your skin looks fine, even perfect if I might add. And even if you still do get zits sometimes, or think you have acne prone skin, your skin looks really good. No one at college will judge you for your skin, trust me. You'll have similar, if not better skin than a lot of the kids there. Pleeeease don't miss out on the college experience for this. I guarantee you will regret it.

Aw, thank you so much!wub.png

I go to a uni near where I live (was lucky to be somewhat close to a great uni that also offered a degree I wanted to study), so I can't really comment on sharing a bathroom or dorm life etc - but I can completely understand why you feel anxious about that. In the next two years, depending on how things work out for me, I might move interstate to continue my study - and then I would be stressing about a shared bathroom like you are too.

But in no way should you let that worry stop you from getting the education you want and deserve, or from having the 'college experience!' I guess it's a bit different to over there, but nonetheless I've loved uni here and have enjoyed it so much more than high school. I love the people I've met and the opportunities I've had.

I think one thing to remember is that you still have a while before actually going to college or doing whatever you decide to do after school. So try not to stress about it too much now because it's still a while away smile.png Also, I think you really do have lovely skin and I don't think people are going to notice enlarged pores or something like that (they would still have to be standing very close to you tongue.png) and the odd breakout shouldn't change how people think or act toward you! Go to college when the time comes, you'll be fine I'm sure smile.png

Thank you! Your advice is very helpful and comforting. I've decided to apply for colleges away from home, so I'll have to remember all of the advice all of you have given me so I won't chicken out!

Bodie81 liked
Quote
MemberMember
58
(@snsdgirl14)

Posted : 07/19/2013 1:17 am

Glad you have decided to apply to ones far from home :) As long as that's what you want.

College will really open your eyes to different people and different experiences. It's definitely life changing, and it's not worth it to let your skin control it.

Quote
MemberMember
115
(@moonlitriver)

Posted : 07/19/2013 7:19 pm

 

I was in this exact same boat three years ago (just graduated yesterday in fact!) so I totally understand your worries. I was even allocated a shared room in my university halls so there was absolutely no hiding from my roommate (though luckily I managed to get a single after the first couple of weeks).

 

My general points and advice are:

 

1. I was surprised by how many other people at university actually had much the same problem. Coming from a small rural town I always felt like I was the only one my age with bad acne but you get such a big mix of different people at university that in an odd way it actually makes you feel less alone with it because you are guaranteed to see people around dorms/campus with the same problem as you.

 

2. I had to work with shared bathrooms but if you pick less busy times of day you can get away without being seen without make-up at least 95% of the time which in reality is sufficient to at least make you a little less uncomfortable and paranoid. I always showered at night before going to bed and found I was usually the only one there as everybody else showered in the mornings.

 

3. Although you may feel like people will judge you and think you're being vain and superficial if you spend a long time on your make-up in the morning you will find that if you explain that your bad skin makes you feel insecure without it people are mostly quite understanding. My roommate commented on the first morning "Oh wow you put a lot of make-up on in the morning don't you?" I said yes I do but I don't enjoy doing it or do it to look pretty I just do it because my bad skin completely drains my confidence if I don't cover it up and she actually seemed to understand this very well.

 

4. I know it's really difficult and I still struggle with it myself on a daily basis but please, please, please, please, please, don't allow your skin to dictate your success in life. If you want to go to university you should go to university. If you want the university dorm experience please do give it a go because although I went in with exactly the same worries as you I can honestly say that my fresher year in halls was one of the best years of my life. Living together with such a diverse group of people means there are always fun things going on and you get to know people so much better for living with them so you are guaranteed to make friends you will keep your whole life.

 

I really hope some of my long ramble is of use to you and best of luck with it all!

Quote
MemberMember
271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 07/20/2013 11:15 am

I never went to school or had the "college experience" and my life turned out okay. But I never wanted to go, either. If you want to go, don't let acne stop you. Plenty of other people at your school will be dealing with acne too.

Quote
MemberMember
26
(@flowergirl1234)

Posted : 07/21/2013 1:19 am

Glad you have decided to apply to ones far from home smile.png As long as that's what you want.

College will really open your eyes to different people and different experiences. It's definitely life changing, and it's not worth it to let your skin control it.

Thank you! :)

I was in this exact same boat three years ago (just graduated yesterday in fact!) so I totally understand your worries. I was even allocated a shared room in my university halls so there was absolutely no hiding from my roommate (though luckily I managed to get a single after the first couple of weeks).

My general points and advice are:

1. I was surprised by how many other people at university actually had much the same problem. Coming from a small rural town I always felt like I was the only one my age with bad acne but you get such a big mix of different people at university that in an odd way it actually makes you feel less alone with it because you are guaranteed to see people around dorms/campus with the same problem as you.

2. I had to work with shared bathrooms but if you pick less busy times of day you can get away without being seen without make-up at least 95% of the time which in reality is sufficient to at least make you a little less uncomfortable and paranoid. I always showered at night before going to bed and found I was usually the only one there as everybody else showered in the mornings.

3. Although you may feel like people will judge you and think you're being vain and superficial if you spend a long time on your make-up in the morning you will find that if you explain that your bad skin makes you feel insecure without it people are mostly quite understanding. My roommate commented on the first morning "Oh wow you put a lot of make-up on in the morning don't you?" I said yes I do but I don't enjoy doing it or do it to look pretty I just do it because my bad skin completely drains my confidence if I don't cover it up and she actually seemed to understand this very well.

4. I know it's really difficult and I still struggle with it myself on a daily basis but please, please, please, please, please, don't allow your skin to dictate your success in life. If you want to go to university you should go to university. If you want the university dorm experience please do give it a go because although I went in with exactly the same worries as you I can honestly say that my fresher year in halls was one of the best years of my life. Living together with such a diverse group of people means there are always fun things going on and you get to know people so much better for living with them so you are guaranteed to make friends you will keep your whole life.

I really hope some of my long ramble is of use to you and best of luck with it all!

Thank you so much! I can't even describe how helpful you have been in writing this. I feel like I should give you a longer response, but I don't know how to share my appreciation. Your advice is excellent. Thank you for this. :)

I never went to school or had the "college experience" and my life turned out okay. But I never wanted to go, either. If you want to go, don't let acne stop you. Plenty of other people at your school will be dealing with acne too.

Thanks. :)

Quote
MemberMember
4
(@kevindreed)

Posted : 08/03/2013 11:12 am

I actualy share a house with 2 people. They rarely even see me with my cream on. Because once it drys I use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. And that's it my skin looks normal. Try to get your skin under control before college.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone. After about a month switch over to aspirem benzoyl peroxide so you wont hit the dryness brink.

Quote
MemberMember
0
(@bwahaha)

Posted : 08/04/2013 1:34 pm

I really had to force myself to go to university. All through the summer I tried to think of an excuse not to go. I can't say I made much of an effort to enjoy myself whilst I was there, but I'm still glad I pushed myself. I think I have about four good memories, which is probably more than I would have if I'd stayed at home for three years.

Oh and the reason that people think going to university "changes" you is because everyone changes when they are 18-21. Its to do with brain chemistry I think.

Quote