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Never Felt This Low

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(@urbangurl)

Posted : 07/09/2013 7:59 pm

I am at my wits end. I have been battling acne for the past 5 years and it has been somewhat debilitating to my self-confidence but in the past six months it has taken a turn for the worse. About a 2-3 months ago I had a pretty severe cystic breakout on my right cheek that has thankfully cleared up but it has left behind really bad hyper pigmentation/some minor scarring. i have become obsessed with my skin..it is literally all I think about and I can identify how unhealthy my thoughts/obsession are but I can't stop. I am 20 years old and I'm suppose to go on a week long trip to Cabo with my 6 (GORGEOUS, CLEAR-SKINNED) friends in a little under a month. I am strongly considering not going because I am nowhere near comfortable enough to be in public without makeup on but I know that just looks unnatural and gross at the beach and I feel I will be too self conscious the entire time to enjoy myself. Typing this out, I feel like a brat- I am aware people have it way worse and I am so blessed to have the opportunity to go on vacation but you guys are the only ones I know who will understand how I'm feeling. I hate being so obsessed, depressed, lonely, and anxiety-ridden 24/7 but my skin is all I think about and I truly feel alone in my struggles. Clear skin has become the unattainable solution to every problem in my life. I get insanely jealous of people I see out in public with clear skin. I spend ALL of my free time researching natural remedies, proven fixes, makeup products, etc. I haven't confided my skin woes in anyone (friends or family) due to embarrassment/pride so a big problem is probably that I can't get out of my own head but I truly feel like I am going crazy. And I can't believe I am considering passing up a vacation to Mexico because of the state of my skin...never in a million years did I think it would get this bad. Anyways, if you have gotten this far, thank you for reading my convoluted rant - I wish you all the best of luck in your journey to clear skin and it is comforting but also heart breaking to know others out there are sharing my experiences. Much love!

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(@kalinka)

Posted : 07/09/2013 8:13 pm

 

Never feel alone, I can assure you I am feeling pretty much the same way. I've been on these boards almost constantly the past couple of days... I find it comforting in a way, to know others struggle similarly. Hugs and support to you :)

 

 

By the way, I've been using a Lactic acid peel on my hyperpigmentation marks on my cheeks and I've found that they've really lessened! I have a quite fair although yellowish skintone so those pesky red marks have really been noticeable. I got mine from Makeup artist's choice. It's the 40% formula.

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(@themightyboosh)

Posted : 07/09/2013 8:23 pm

oh my goodness, let me tell you that i can wholeheartedly relate. i'm so sorry you're going through this man. i literally spend 80% of my waking hours thinking about how my skin looks: avoiding certain lighting, visualizing how gross i look, avoiding mirrors like the plague, standing/sitting in places that will cast shadows on my face. i also broke out on my right side last December. it was bad, but it's cleared up until recently. now i've started to break out on my left side, which was what i was fearing. my skin has also been ridiculously oily recently-- within two hours i begin to shine bright like a diamond and i hate it.

so no, you are definitely not alone. my cheeks are covered in dark marks too, my pores are enormous, i'm breaking out, and i feel like a hideous, greasy mess. i don't want to leave my room. i recently slept over at my friends house, and when i wasn't wearing any makeup i could see her mother scoping my scarred face with pity. it makes me feel like shit, so i can completely relate to wanting to pass up a holiday because of your skin. i just hope it gets better for both of us, because i can't imagine living the rest of my life like this. i'll stay strong if you do too :)

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(@underneath32)

Posted : 07/09/2013 8:34 pm

I know exactly how you feel, i have been there, majority of people on this site have been there.(I don't mean to sound patronising but take comfort in knowing that you are not alone). Best thing you can do is try and stop worrying about it, this may sound hard but you need to find something that will sidetrack your thoughts in the mean time. Stressing about it will only attract bad skin. Also don't go overboard with products in order to find the fastest 'miracle cure', you will just do more harm than good. Try and stay positive. Go and watch a funny movie or go for a run and clear your head. Best of luck.

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(@freshstart2014)

Posted : 07/09/2013 9:39 pm

Ditto the hugs and support to you. I too get jealous of people with beautiful skin!

Anyhow, I really hope you find the strength to go to Mexico. Maybe see a medical esthetician about a peel before you go? It might help. Also, don't forget broad spectrum UVB/UVB sunscreen and a wide brimmed hat (they're in now...and they cast a nice shadow on your face which will likely make the hyperpigmentation harder to see!). Good luck!

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(@bodie81)

Posted : 07/09/2013 10:22 pm

 

Urbangirl, really sorry that you`re going through a tough time right now. I know it is no consolation, but like many other people on this forum I can empathise and know exactly how you feel.

Don`t know if this any help but a few years ago, I was in a situation where I too was contemplating not going on a holiday - I posted the story on this forum a few months ago. Here is the link:-

 

 

I hope in time that you start to feel better about yourself and you find the courage to go ahead with your vacation. If you do, I`m sure you will enjoy yourself.

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(@tim714)

Posted : 07/10/2013 12:15 am

Yeah definitely go on the trip, I was in a similar situation a month ago and I went and had a great time, not as good as I would have had with clear skin but I would have hated myself if I backed out of it. My skin has also improved since then with accutane which is something worth looking into, I worry about my skin way less knowing it will get better in time. Good luck with everything.

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(@urbangurl)

Posted : 07/10/2013 7:29 pm

Thanks to all of you guys for your responses - I can not tell you how comforting they were!! I appreciate the advice and support, it is really helpful. I agree that the regret and sadness I would feel missing out on the trip (and hearing about it later, especially via social media!) outweighs my potential discomfort over my skin and I think it will help me immensely if I talk to my friends I am traveling with about my concerns...but golly that seems really bleeping scary. Anyways, I am going to try a peel this weekend and hope to see some degree of improvement. One big collective hug to all of you guys, you all are the BEST.

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