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Another Event Ruined Because Of My Insecurities

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Hello all,

this is more of a rant, considering that this is the emotional and psychological effects of acne forum, I thought I'd share my thoughts. This week I was invited to vegas for my best friends 22nd birthday. Having acne to some degree it always impacts my mood and will to go out and enjoy myself. I don't think my acne is as bad as I personally perceive it, but I can't help but to think otherwise. About a year ago when I had ad good skin, going out was never a problem, trips, spending the night, etc. However since I started breaking out I no longer have the will to go out and plaster on the makeup. What's the sad part is that I REALLY want to be able to just pack my bags and go with my friends and have an awesome time as I'm sure I would but acne is telling me otherwise. My mind is telling me, stay home, and let it heal, don't suffocate it with makeup, drinking, non-proper care. We all tend to be a little negligent when it comes to traveling, I know I would. I hate that my mild acne is holding me back from living life my to the fullest. I'd hate to be in my 30's of 40's and look back on my life and hoped I would of done the things I wanted to not. It's not so much my acne, but I have a lot of hyper-pigmentation and a lot of uneven texture that makes me more self-conscious, particularly the red marks. I'm debating whether I should just ignore the insecurity and go. Even if were to go, I could never be as confident and comfortable. I want to be able to go to a place and feel happy, and confident, not insecure and self-aware. I hate that something like acne is stopping me from living my life. Not to mention I feel like a terrible friend to let something like acne impede my best-friends birthday bash. Speaking of feeling like shit just got a text from another friends asking to go get drinks after work, now what excuse am I supposed to make up? I hate this. I hate having to make up lies and excuses to not go out and enjoy myself because my insecurities hold me back. Does anyone else feel like this? Why do I do this to myself? eusa_wall.gif

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I know how this is. I think you should just go though, I doubt your friends judge you by your skin and your skin may never be perfect so you will have missed out on all this fun stuff over something that is difficult to control. Sometimes having fun, de-stressing, can help the skin.

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Hey there, totally feel your pain. I can't even begin to tell you how many excuses and little white lies I've had to concoct to get out of hanging out with friends due to insecurity about my skin. I get invited out to social events all the time, and I WANT so very badly to go out and have fun and to enjoy life, but like you mentioned, I know I wouldn't have a really good/comfortable time even if I did go because my skin is going to be on my mind the whole time. It's gotten to the point where the majority of my friends don't even bother to invite me out anymore because they know what my answer will be ahead of time, lol. I think that just feeds into the isolation of having acne, and it sucks a huge amount of ass.

Most people's advice will probably be to tell you "go out anyways, enjoy yourself, you'll regret it if you don't!" but honestly I'm not going to give you that kind of advice because I know how it feels to push yourself to go out anyways and then when you're actually out and about with you friends you can't even enjoy it because you're still concerned with how your skin looks. I've done that where I just say fuck it and go out anyways, but I never end up having the kinda fun time I know I'd have if my skin was calm.

The only thing I can say is hope your skin improves soon, wish you the best! I'm gonna be trying the Regimen here soon to see if I get better results with that.

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I know how this is. I think you should just go though, I doubt your friends judge you by your skin and your skin may never be perfect so you will have missed out on all this fun stuff over something that is difficult to control. Sometimes having fun, de-stressing, can help the skin.

I know what you mean. For the longest time I've kept telling myself, it'll get better and when it does i'll be able to go out and enjoy myself like I did before. But truth be told I don't know when it will get better, and my life is just passing me by and I'm missing out on the best years of my life due to this, and I hate it. In fact I know some girls who will be going to who's skin is a lot worse than mine is, full on acne, and I feel guilty for thinking mine is just as bad when I know it isn't. I hate I feel this way, but thank you for your encouragement and kind words.

Hey there, totally feel your pain. I can't even begin to tell you how many excuses and little white lies I've had to concoct to get out of hanging out with friends due to insecurity about my skin. I get invited out to social events all the time, and I WANT so very badly to go out and have fun and to enjoy life, but like you mentioned, I know I wouldn't have a really good/comfortable time even if I did go because my skin is going to be on my mind the whole time. It's gotten to the point where the majority of my friends don't even bother to invite me out anymore because they know what my answer will be ahead of time, lol. I think that just feeds into the isolation of having acne, and it sucks a huge amount of ass.

Most people's advice will probably be to tell you "go out anyways, enjoy yourself, you'll regret it if you don't!" but honestly I'm not going to give you that kind of advice because I know how it feels to push yourself to go out anyways and then when you're actually out and about with you friends you can't even enjoy it because you're still concerned with how your skin looks. I've done that where I just say fuck it and go out anyways, but I never end up having the kinda fun time I know I'd have if my skin was calm.

The only thing I can say is hope your skin improves soon, wish you the best! I'm gonna be trying the Regimen here soon to see if I get better results with that.

I tried the regimen back when I first started breaking out in aug or so, but it didn't help much. During this time it wasn't so bad so I figured it would work pretty fast. I did it for about 2 months and it didn't really help, not to mention it seemed to make my dark marks more apparent or pro-long it(bp) Keep in mind my skin is stubborn! So granted I'm sure it works a lot better on others than it would for me. I started using Tretinon (Retin A) about a month and half ago and it seems to help. But it's a long process to clear skin from what i've read. Other than that, thank you for your kind words, it makes me feel better that I'm not the only nut job with this sort of mind set. I just can't seem to get over it. When I go out people don't treat me any differently, and I still get hit on, but rather than enjoying the moment I keep thinking all he's thinking about is my skin. Which is a horrible thing to think but acne is consuming me. I do have hope, and I know it WILL improve, I need to learn to be patient and find peace within this struggle. I hope whatever you choose works out for you though, thank you for your kind words and input.smile.png

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Well, admitting the problem to yourself is always a first step! You say that you realise that your acne is mild and that it shouldn't hold you back so much, so you've already made a step towards dealing with it. You don't have to go out when you don't want to, but if you gather all your mental strength and do that when you feel the worst, have all the fun and see, that your acne didn't affect anything, next time it will be much easier!

By the way, my skin was always an excuse for me not to talk to people or make new friends when I moved to a new country, so I'm still quite lonely and don't have many contacts. I utterly regret this. But on the other hand, my acne was never near to "mild" and people at the language school were stopping me, asking what happened and giving me advices and my mom was crying over how terrible I look. So please, for the sake of all those who really have severe acne or other terrible skin conditions, don't sweat it and go live your life! If your acne will ever get worse (I hope it never will!!), you'll look back and regret feeling bad over small things. What severe acne does it really teaches you to appreciate your skin while it's relatively clear. Many people would kill to have only a few breakouts and would probably go out and party all night long to celebrate, if they got clearer :)

P.s my skin got clearer and I'm head over heels happy. But I realise for someone such skin as mine is at the moment would be a tragedy. It tells a lot, right?

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I definitely think you should just go. I've had times where I didn't want to go out because of my skin. I've had a LOT of those times. But I usually would suck it up, put on some makeup, and go anyway. I always felt better going out and being with my friends than staying home alone. When you're home alone, you have more time to think, scrutinize your skin, etc. Your friends obviously don't care what your skin looks like, they just want to have a good time with you! Plus, if your acne is only mild, I highly doubt anyone is going to notice or point it out.

Get your mind off your acne for a bit and go celebrate. Bring all the products you need and just be diligent with your nighttime routine. I hope you decide to go!

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I have an announcement: just live your life, dont wait until some magical date or until your skin is clear...I wasted a few years of my life thinking this way.And the funny part is, even though my skin has been clear for 8 months I still find reasons not to do things I want. I have to push myself but when I do something out of my comfort zone (like going to a wedding or doing a photo shoot) I always have a lot of fun. My skin has nothing to do with it...we all have insecurities which are made worse by acne but even with clear skin, everything is not perfect.

You only really have today, ask yourself , will I regret not doing this if I miss out? If the answer is yes, just do it. People dont care about nor notice your acne as much as you think, and if they do, Eff them! You dont need shallow people to think well of you. Smile and try to stay positive .

Edited by AuguriesofInnocence

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I want to take the time and thank you all for taking the time out of your day to write these encouraging and truthful words. After much thought and contemplation, I did not end up going to vegas with my friend, but only because I had a midterm on monday and I knew I couldn't pass it if I went(truth) before I realized this I had dug into my closet and gotten out a couple dresses because I was determined to not let my acne ruin another event. However, I did end up going out that night for drinks with a friend, and since then I think it has made it a lot easier to get up and put on my makeup and get dressed up. Because I have realized my acne isn't all that bad, and I know it's going to get better. I try and think of all the positives, like the clear parts of my face and how fast other parts are clearing up. I know in a couple months my skin will be looking a lot better, I've been using retin-A and even though it's a long process it really seems to be helping, knock on wood. Anyway, writing my thoughts on here and having you wonderful people tell me that I'm not alone but I should still go out, and you're completely right! I will no longer let this hold me back. Today I will be taking my best friend on a night out for drinks and dinner, yay! I'm actually really excited about it and have been looking forward to it for days, no longer is my acne on my mind. I could cover it up with makeup fairly well, and even if there is some marks peeking through it doesn't bother me. I try and focus on the beautiful features on my face. Even though I do have mild acne, I try and not let it dictate whether I feel or look beautiful. I do still think I'm beautiful either way, and I try and focus on those features that I love about myself, my eyes, my lips, my nose, my eyebrows(haha). I'm not going to let acne take those features away(although I still think those features would stand out MORE if I didn't have this problem, but I know soon enough I will be able to appreciate those features more. My heart goes out to anyone who is feeling the same. I think I've found peace within myself and confidence. My skin is by no means perfect but the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that it WILL get better. Anyone who is feeling the same just remember that. Thank you again!kiss.gif

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