Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
dreamergirl

So Depressed.

Recommended Posts

So I don't usually feel like this because I believe I am a strong person, but just the last couple of weeks I've felt sooo down on myself all because of my skin. My skin has significantly improved (yeah, I know, it's still not too good at all) since the 9th grade and I am now out of high school. My face used to be beaming red (rudolph's nose was no match for me..trust me!) and my entire cheeks were just bright red. Now, after some years, that strange redness has gone down and some of the hyperpigmentation has faded away. But, unfortunately, I still have a ton left. It's definitely getting better and I AM seeing improvement as the days go by, but for some reason that does not help me feel any better. Hate to say this, but I've been actually feeling suicidal lately...and that's strange for me because I'm known for being such an upbeat person. So what the heck? :/ I'm not trying to look for attention - I just need to express myself somehow and let all this off my chest.

I take omega 3 softgels, omega 369, a probiotic sometimes, vitamin D, Vitamin E, and occasionally 50mg of zinc citrate (I drink alot of almond milk which helps my skin and it has zinc in it so I stopped taking the supplements..almond milk had 10% zinc gluconate so do you think it would be okay to still take one 50mg of zinc citrate or?). When I did go to the derm, I used to take tetracycline which kind of helped and retin-a, which I still ocassionally put on. I just know that time is the best healer and I've been being patient for the last couple of years and that's helped alot. Just patience.

I remember my derm telling me that patience is the key for it to fade away and he was right. Although I have used many creams and such, they usually irritate my skin and so I find being patient helps the most. In the mean time, I eat healthy as well and drink soooo much water which is very helpful (I take a piss too many times to count lmao).

I do wear makeup which helps me feel confident when I go out. But I don't wear too much at all. My skin still shows through.

Is my skin that bad? What do you think I should do? And why does it look so much better on camera jesus christ lol, trippin' me out.

My self-esteem has been so low lately..it's insane. It's ridiculous because I get complimented all the time on things like my hair, eyes, body, etc. But all I'm thinking is "do you NOT see my skin?! How can you call me pretty?!" am I the only girl thinking like this ? :/

This has also made me EXTREMELY OCD. If I even touch my face for a second or if someone pinches my cheeks, I immediately run to the mirror to check my face.

Yup, I sound like a crazy person. Maybe I am lol. Sighhhhh -.-

post-207781-0-24706000-1367348287_thumb.

post-207781-0-28450400-1367348292_thumb.

post-207781-0-24706000-1367348287_thumb.

post-207781-0-28450400-1367348292_thumb.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

meeeeee toooooooooooo. so depressed. having suicidal thoughts. checking mirror all day. this is no way to live but I also am known for being a strong and upbeat person. used to be one. I have hopes that I'll get over it, but I just keep making things worse. I just got back from the plastic surgeon to help with my scarring. I had intended to get two of my scars cut out but he talked me into subcision and fillers and I immediately regret it. wish I had gotten them cut out. I feel you bigtime. just made things worse. hopefully it looks better when the swelling goes down. the more I do to try and remedy my situation, the worse things get. perhaps I should just learn to live with my new face and my new loneliness but I'm miserable.

we got to get out of this down feeling stuff somehow though. somehow we have to find a way to feel better. but how? we have to figure something out.

maybe I am crazy too I guess.

Edited by NUBY3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think your skin looks nice, it looks like it's definitely in a healing phase right now. The annoying thing about hyper-pigmentation marks is they can take months and sometimes even over a year to fully fade away. I don't really see any active stuff, just seems like post-acne marks, so that means what you're doing must be working!

I totally know what you mean about the self-esteem thing. I've had girls compliment me before and even call me "cute" or whatever, and the first thought that enters into my head is "is this chick blind AND OR crazy?" lol :P Acne screws with our self-perception so much...and always remember, we're our own worst critics.

All I can really say is I know exactly what you're going through and how tough it can be, but stay strong and keep on truckin', those improvements will continue to happen as time goes on. Best of luck to you with all your skin woes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think your skin looks nice, it looks like it's definitely in a healing phase right now. The annoying thing about hyper-pigmentation marks is they can take months and sometimes even over a year to fully fade away. I don't really see any active stuff, just seems like post-acne marks, so that means what you're doing must be working!

I totally know what you mean about the self-esteem thing. I've had girls compliment me before and even call me "cute" or whatever, and the first thought that enters into my head is "is this chick blind AND OR crazy?" lol tongue.png Acne screws with our self-perception so much...and always remember, we're our own worst critics.

All I can really say is I know exactly what you're going through and how tough it can be, but stay strong and keep on truckin', those improvements will continue to happen as time goes on. Best of luck to you with all your skin woes!

Thank you! It's good to see someone sees it differently than I do haha. Yeah it's mostly just post-acne marks but just soo blaaaaah :/ haha.

Btw, you ARE cute! Honestly, acne on a guy never bothered me. I dated a guy with a TON of acne before. To the point where even strangers would tell him his face is "messed up" whenever we went out. How rude right?! Of course I defended him :P But he never really needed defense because he was always so calm about it and never brought it up or seemed insecure about it. Maybe he was insecure behind closed doors, but props to him for not being insecure in public like me now haha :P. I actually just saw him the other day after 3 years and he is totally clear now. There's some hope :)

Thanks for your positive energy. I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Best of luck to you as well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You look very pretty yourself. I honestly don't think your hyperpigmentation would bother me in the slightest. I know where you're coming from, though. Acne can really get us down, but it's not wise to let it control our lives. If you had a buzzing social life before, just keep on going and act like it is not bothering you. Others don't notice as much as we do. We always have the biggest problem with ourselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

meeeeee toooooooooooo. so depressed. having suicidal thoughts. checking mirror all day. this is no way to live but I also am known for being a strong and upbeat person. used to be one. I have hopes that I'll get over it, but I just keep making things worse. I just got back from the plastic surgeon to help with my scarring. I had intended to get two of my scars cut out but he talked me into subcision and fillers and I immediately regret it. wish I had gotten them cut out. I feel you bigtime. just made things worse. hopefully it looks better when the swelling goes down. the more I do to try and remedy my situation, the worse things get. perhaps I should just learn to live with my new face and my new loneliness but I'm miserable.

we got to get out of this down feeling stuff somehow though. somehow we have to find a way to feel better. but how? we have to figure something out.

maybe I am crazy too I guess.

Awwww I TOTALLY feel you! I can't even express how much that is so me right there. Honestly, sometimes we just have to say "screw this! I only have one life to live" and go on with our lives. And I know that's so hard but we gotta do it. I may sound hypocritical but I really do try to have that kind of attitude. Hopefully one day we will both adopt a positive attitude about all this :)

For now, remember - bad times don't last. Good times are always right around the corner. Remember that you only have one life to live.

These are things I tell myself on my bad days. Hopefully they help you too.

Best of luck to you!

You look very pretty yourself. I honestly don't think your hyperpigmentation would bother me in the slightest. I know where you're coming from, though. Acne can really get us down, but it's not wise to let it control our lives. If you had a buzzing social life before, just keep on going and act like it is not bothering you. Others don't notice as much as we do. We always have the biggest problem with ourselves.

Thanks hun, that made me smile :) Yeah most of the guys that I've dated never said anything about it, even with my makeup off (which is my biggest insecurity x_x). You are so right though. It's really hard to not let it get to me but you're right, I shouldn't let it control my life like I am at the moment.

Thanks for your advice! Really means more than you know.

You're attractive yourself by the way :) Have a good day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel. My skin has really affected my psyche and I was really depressed about it for a long time. However, I recently started Accutane and things are looking up! I am actually about to write about it in the thread I started. Every other treatment has failed me and I don't think any amount or combination of face washes and diets will help anything unless you are very fortunate. Everyone is different and responds to different stimuli, so it's really hard to tell what works and what doesn't. But after all the heart ache I finally took the plunge and now I think my skin is improving. I certainly hope it continues to improve and stay this way...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know how you feel. My skin has really affected my psyche and I was really depressed about it for a long time. However, I recently started Accutane and things are looking up! I am actually about to write about it in the thread I started. Every other treatment has failed me and I don't think any amount or combination of face washes and diets will help anything unless you are very fortunate. Everyone is different and responds to different stimuli, so it's really hard to tell what works and what doesn't. But after all the heart ache I finally took the plunge and now I think my skin is improving. I certainly hope it continues to improve and stay this way...

Everyone has a different experience I guess :) .

Best of luck to you! I am sure things will improve if you stay positive :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, your skin looks very similar to how mine does right now.

In fact here is how my current condition looks:

post-207754-0-14084300-1367320405_thumb.

Anyways, honestly your beautiful. I know it can be rough (hell look at the picture we've practically got the same thing going on.) But, I'm sure it will heal as time goes on, in fact my face is a lot less red then it was about a month ago. Anyways best of days to you, and make sure to not let this get you down! :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, your skin looks very similar to how mine does right now.

In fact here is how my current condition looks:

Anyways, honestly your beautiful. I know it can be rough (hell look at the picture we've practically got the same thing going on.) But, I'm sure it will heal as time goes on, in fact my face is a lot less red then it was about a month ago. Anyways best of days to you, and make sure to not let this get you down! biggrin.png

Haha you're right! They are pretty similar :o that's funny! Thanks for the compliment, means so much :) We just gotta wait it out I guess! Best of luck to you too hun. Stay smiling proud.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have you tried birth control? Its the only thing which completely cleared my acne (which Ive had since I was 12.) I had similar to yours except more along the jawline than cheeks. Acne is almost always hormonal one way or another thats why topicals dont necessarily work. Antibiotics work for a time , I used them on and off for a few years but I either became resistan to them or got yeast infections (fun!)

Sine Ive started yaz, within 4 months I had clear skin. As in, no make-up-clear. If you dont want to take the pill you could try saw palmetto and spearmint, these are natural but they lower androgens. Androgens are hormones which cause acne, especially if your skin is very oily. They are safe herbs and it takes a few months to see results but its worth it.

Please give it a try. I took accutane for one month and it was a big mistake. You look nice btw, your skin doesnt define you as a person, if someone has a problem than they arent worth the bother. But its so nice not having to worry about acne anymore :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on Accutane about 6 years ago and it helped my acne a lot. I used to often get a lot of huge painful cysts. I am now nearly 28 years old and I do still get acne (damn I thought it be gone by now!), but it's nowhere as bad as it was. I have a lot of scars, which I plan to do something about it in a year or 2 (cos it doesn't really bother me), but what annoys me is the redness (similar to the photos) that don't seem to improve at all ever since I finished taking Accutane (despite dermatologists back then telling me "the redness will go away in a year or two").

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same way, too! I started getting acne at age 11 and by 14 I had a severe case of cystic acne that has left me with deep, giant scars all over my face and I am 26 now. I did an 8 months course of Roaccutane at 20mg, twice daily for the whole time. I was acne free for about 7 years and was still self conscious about my scars and my freckles and my face in general. For the last 3 years I have been breaking out a lot, mainly in the places where I had my initial scarring (cheeks, chin) and continue to feel exasperated! I am taking antibiotics and have a STRICT face routine. I don't think I've gone one day without sticking to it within the last 10 years! My acne is becoming cystic again and I feel like I'm losing it. I've been offered another course of Roaccutane but don't want to go down that route (I had very, very bad thinning of the hair).

I think you need to remember that you are in fact gorgeous! People are not lying! Also, you said "but don't they see my acne?". They probably do but they also don't care about that, your real beauty shines through! I know I should take my own advice, since I refuse to be seen without make up, but even past boyfriends have told me how pretty and beautiful I am, even though my skin isn't anywhere near perfect. You have so many great features, you said so yourself. We can get through this and I think you and I both need to remember that acne doesn't define us and it doesn't ruin our beauty.

It's hard to see other girls with perfect skin, girls who don't need make up but we're just as good as them. Please be strong and don't be sad. I know photos never show the true condition of your acne (it's always worse in real life) but even if it was 10x worse than in those pics, I am convinced you would still be gorgeous, inside and out!!

Edited by vituperative

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl, I feel you. I spend hours a day in front of my mirror dissecting every scar I have. It's becoming a really bad habit that I can't seem to break :( !! I feel really uncomfortable when someone is close to me because I fear they'll see my skin too clearly, so that rules me out of the dating game 'cause I'm afraid of having to become intimate with someone because of my face :S. It's stupid, I know. My skin has been so much on my mind lately, I can't concentrate well at school. I went to see my derm yesterday, and she also told me that my scars will fade away and eventually fill in with time, but I can't seem to believe her. Patience is really a bitch. I guess that the less I think about it and the more I try to enjoy life, I think the marks will disappear before I even know it! So, hang in there! You're a gorgeous girl and acne can't take that away from you!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×