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On Being Ugly

 
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(@heyybrighteyes)

Posted : 04/17/2013 12:28 am

I just thought i'd share a video i saw recently..

it's really helped with how i see myself and others, and how i view my acne, etc.

i know firsthand how hard it is to feel beautiful or attractive when you have acne covering your face

but sometimes we have to remember the more important things in life.

i hope this helps at least one person.

 

i would like to add that i do not think she's ugly!

nor i do agree with "dealing with your own ugliness"

ugliness is found in the heart, not in appearances.

mcgeeh15 and Pianina liked
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(@frankl)

Posted : 04/17/2013 12:38 am

yea we think alike. I tried looking at the big picture. There is a video on youtube called the pale blue dot by Carl Sagan that really puts things in perspective.

problem is at the age of 31 now I'm just tired. I'm not the person I want to be so looking at the big picture doesn't work for me anymore ya know? Being alive, breathing and doing what I want to do regardless of how I feel about myself doesn't mean sh*t when I'm always alone.

By the way this girl isn't even ugly. She just looks unkempt.

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101
(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 04/17/2013 4:04 am

Omg... That's a vicitm of modern society and it's unsophisticated "views" right there. She's been spoon fed this wrong idea of what and what is not beautiful and now she actually goes around thinking to herself "I'm ugly". And she says she's OK with it most of the time but it's probably so that if she had a button that would turn her face into one more like the one Naomi Watts or Nicole Kidman has she'd right away frantically press it multiple times just to be sure. But she doesn't have that button so now she's saying to people "It's OK to not be OK, folks. Believe me! I'm fine with the fact I'm ugly most of the time.". So incredibly sad.

She looks perfectly fine to me, by the way.

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(@auguriesofinnocence)

Posted : 04/17/2013 5:15 am

If theres one thing Ive learned, the only ugly people are ugly on the inside. Sounds cliched but, no matter a persons looks, Ive come to the point where I can quickly see their spirit and not the exterior.

Nobody eants to be "ugly" but acne alone doesnt make you ugly and there are a lot of ways to treat it.

In this world, you wont find peace nor acceptance, so stop looking for it "sic transit gloria mundi". Love those who matter to you and make yourself happy, screw anyone who says otherwise.

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(@ambitiousone)

Posted : 04/17/2013 8:38 am

i 100

Omg... That's a vicitm of modern society and it's unsophisticated "views" right there. She's been spoon fed this wrong idea of what and what is not beautiful and now she actually goes around thinking to herself "I'm ugly". And she says she's OK with it most of the time but it's probably so that if she had a button that would turn her face into one more like the one Naomi Watts or Nicole Kidman has she'd right away frantically press it multiple times just to be sure. But she doesn't have that button so now she's saying to people "It's OK to not be OK, folks. Believe me! I'm fine with the fact I'm ugly most of the time.". So incredibly sad.

She looks perfectly fine to me, by the way.

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(@mrnegative)

Posted : 04/17/2013 10:03 am

I used to be comforted by the words - "Acne is not the most important thing in life." "It will heal, it's nothing to feel depressed over." At 22 years old, I've already built up a social life and established a perception of myself that is extremely hard hit by acne. It's hard for other people to understand how it's boderline impossible to escape the microcosm of your own self when you perceive yourself as being ruined by this horrible disease. I am otherwise attractive, work out, take care of myself, and don't shy away from the opposite sex. In the midst of a moderate outbreak, I feel like I've legitimately lost myself - who I used to be. When the person you look at in the mirror isn't the person you recognize anymore, it's not a light feeling. Having said that, the "big picture" is an important thing to consider. There are so many people suffering from incurable diseases. Cancer causes weight loss, hair loss, weakness, and constant pain. Kidney diseases, liver diseases are life threatening and cause numerous noticeable effects on the body. There are people who are disfigured from accidents or simply born deformed. These people are all living within our society and their bravery to engage in everyday tasks without letting their impediments get them down should be an inspiration to acne sufferers everywhere.

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(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 04/17/2013 3:59 pm

It doesn't really have any affect on me whatsoever. I can't speak for other people though.

i 100

Omg... That's a vicitm of modern society and it's unsophisticated "views" right there. She's been spoon fed this wrong idea of what and what is not beautiful and now she actually goes around thinking to herself "I'm ugly". And she says she's OK with it most of the time but it's probably so that if she had a button that would turn her face into one more like the one Naomi Watts or Nicole Kidman has she'd right away frantically press it multiple times just to be sure. But she doesn't have that button so now she's saying to people "It's OK to not be OK, folks. Believe me! I'm fine with the fact I'm ugly most of the time.". So incredibly sad.

She looks perfectly fine to me, by the way.

100% agreed Lapis! You took the words out of my mouth. I hate how this shallow society gives us "tips" on whether we are beautiful or not. SO FRUSTRATING!!! And such comments affect girls especially I noticed (maybe I am wrong, maybe it affects both sexes). I fall into that trap as well quite often but now I realize that it has to do with the society that we live in.

I think she is beautiful.

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(@user146096)

Posted : 04/17/2013 4:30 pm

Man, that was very hard to watch. This woman's been forced to believe she's ugly (not admit, because it'd have to be objectively true), by society when she's not (At least by my standards). The media throws images at everyday people, that force comparisons between their models and yourself. They tell you that this is how you should look and if you just happen to possess the opposite, your beauty, as a human being, is diminished. For all we know growing up, she could have felt that she was a very pretty girl, but as she grew, society got louder and she was no longer deaf to their critical voice. That seems to be the tale for the majority of people these days. It's only the select few who are a part of this elusive, elite circle...but what did they actually do?. Nothing. As she mentioned, looks aren't achieved but are an end product of genetics. Why is it so difficult to look at someone and think "Genetics" ??. If you're attracted to that person, fine, acknowledge that and express your interest, but if you're NOT, why feel the need to make the person feel bad because YOU don't find they fit your ideal of beauty?. Attractiveness is entirely subjective, though I'm not naive and I do understand that there's a universal consensus on conventional attractiveness, it still isn't a reason to mentally damage those who aren't (Viewed as universally attractive), the way we do. I'm pissed..

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(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 04/17/2013 4:51 pm

I've heard a few men say that Paris Hilton is unattractive. Here she is:

10596.jpg

lol.gif It's rediculous (to say she's unattractive).

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(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 04/17/2013 5:24 pm

It doesn't really have any affect on me whatsoever. I can't speak for other people though.

Omg, I did it too!

I made a typo that a ton of people make. Affect and effect... People mix them up. haha This time it was because I think I wanted to write "It doesn't affect me in any way.". Instead I wrote what I did. Oh my... haha

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(@user146096)

Posted : 04/17/2013 6:13 pm

I've heard a few men say that Paris Hilton is unattractive. Here she is:

10596.jpg

lol.gif It's rediculous (to say she's unattractive).

It's rather easy to say that with her tits falling out from under her "sweater", I assume she got in a fight with a bear and won. Jokes aside, I don't find her attractive in the slightest, she's not my type (Though I'm not saying she's not attractive to some). What's more, she's plastered in make-up, the strategic application of cosmetics to create features you don't have and hide the flaws you do.

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(@amcguill)

Posted : 04/17/2013 8:34 pm

 

 

It's rather easy to say that with her tits falling out from under her "sweater", I assume she got in a fight with a bear and won. Jokes aside, I don't find her attractive in the slightest, she's not my type (Though I'm not saying she's not attractive to some). What's more, she's plastered in make-up, the strategic application of cosmetics to create features you don't have and hide the flaws you do.

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(@fraz_2010)

Posted : 04/17/2013 9:49 pm

You know you're ugly when you have that annoying voice in your head that tells you that you are.

Beautiful people are people who learn not to listen to that voice.

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(@ghostunit)

Posted : 04/17/2013 10:50 pm

I've heard a few men say that Paris Hilton is unattractive. Here she is:

lol.gif It's rediculous (to say she's unattractive).

She has no tits at all and she's overly skinny. Therefore, she's unattractive to me! :D

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(@nakedsmurf)

Posted : 04/17/2013 11:27 pm

I'm hot !

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(@frankl)

Posted : 04/17/2013 11:36 pm

Honestly, when people say things like "Paris Hilton is ugly," it really makes me feel that much worse about the way I look by comparison...

People are just talking crap. if she strolled into these dudes bedroom one night they'd sh*t their pants in excitement. Other body fluids would be released as well. Everyone is a critic on the internet.

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(@nakedsmurf)

Posted : 04/17/2013 11:39 pm

Honestly, when people say things like "Paris Hilton is ugly," it really makes me feel that much worse about the way I look by comparison...

People are just talking crap. if she strolled into these dudes bedroom one night they'd sh*t their pants in excitement. Other body fluids would be released as well. Everyone is a critic on the internet.

True I'll pick Hilton over the YouTube chick.

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(@frankl)

Posted : 04/17/2013 11:51 pm

Honestly, when people say things like "Paris Hilton is ugly," it really makes me feel that much worse about the way I look by comparison...

People are just talking crap. if she strolled into these dudes bedroom one night they'd sh*t their pants in excitement. Other body fluids would be released as well. Everyone is a critic on the internet.

True I'll pick Hilton over the YouTube chick.

Naw I'd take youtube chick. She seems smart. She just needs someone to tell her shes full of sh*t and wash her hair. Shes not bad looking at all.

I'm sure Paris has all kinds of STD's.

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(@user146096)

Posted : 04/18/2013 1:58 am

Honestly, when people say things like "Paris Hilton is ugly," it really makes me feel that much worse about the way I look by comparison...

People are just talking crap. if she strolled into these dudes bedroom one night they'd sh*t their pants in excitement. Other body fluids would be released as well. Everyone is a critic on the internet.

No, I wouldn't. I don't find her attractive at all. Are you unable to accept a differing opinion?, because that response reeks of immaturity.

It's rather easy to say that with her tits falling out from under her "sweater", I assume she got in a fight with a bear and won. Jokes aside, I don't find her attractive in the slightest, she's not my type (Though I'm not saying she's not attractive to some). What's more, she's plastered in make-up, the strategic application of cosmetics to create features you don't have and hide the flaws you do.

So she's not attractive because she puts a lot of effort into her appearance?

I don't find her attractive in the slightest, she's not my type (Though I'm not saying she's not attractive to some).

I did make that clear. I'm not in a position to try and speak for everyone, (as many members of this board are trying to do) but I can speak for myself and that's what I think.

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(@cassie-reannan)

Posted : 04/18/2013 2:30 am

Thank you for sharing! I really needed that comfort.gif

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(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 04/18/2013 5:32 am

I's rather easy to say that with her tits falling out from under her "sweater", I assume she got in a fight with a bear and won. Jokes aside, I don't find her attractive in the slightest, she's not my type (Though I'm not saying she's not attractive to some). What's more, she's plastered in make-up, the strategic application of cosmetics to create features you don't have and hide the flaws you do.

lol.gif A fight with a bear? That's funny.

Yeah, I guess it's the old saying "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" that applies once again here. =] I think she's absolutely gorgeous. And she seems like a perfectly fine person too! amused.gif Maybe if I got to know her I'd feel differently but... I dunno, she just seems nice.

So she's not attractive because she puts a lot of effort into her appearance? I think a lot of modern beauty isn't about being naturally beauty - we have so many things we can do to better ourselves that most "gorgeous" people have to work to get there.

Honestly, when people say things like "Paris Hilton is ugly," it really makes me feel that much worse about the way I look by comparison...

Yeah, I remember seeing one of those make-up videos where a woman showed how she applied it and when she did her eyes she said "Look. I add a bit of this and immediately my eyes just POP so much more...". The amount of stuff she accentuated was large. haha Her eyes, her cheeks... Without make-up she really did look very different.

I've heard a few men say that Paris Hilton is unattractive. Here she is:

lol.gif It's rediculous (to say she's unattractive).

She has no tits at all and she's overly skinny. Therefore, she's unattractive to me! biggrin.png

At the risk of sounding like a kid I'm going to say that I absolutley love her breasts. lol rolleyes.gif

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(@lilly75)

Posted : 04/18/2013 6:23 am

I think the issue is more the 'importance' or 'focus' society and individuals put on appearance. And on how beauty and/or attractiveness is defined.

I'd say both Paris Hilton and the girl in the youtube video are beautiful but in different ways and one may appeal more to another person than the other depending on how that person 'defines' what is beautiful. And the youtube girl comes across as a nicer, stronger, smarter person too. Personally, I think there's more to overall beauty than just the physical beauty.

There's a lot of conflicting messages and ideals that we receive about what beauty is - through media etc. I guess one of those would be that having acne makes you unattractive and that you can't be beautiful with acne - which is often how I feel personally. But really, it's a ridiculous idea - I've come across a lot of people who have acne (men and women, in person and just seeing photos online) who are really beautiful/attractive. I don't know if that applies to me, and in a way I'd rather not know. And when you combine all these 'ideals' of what beauty or attractiveness is, it can be really easy to become self-conscious of how you look. So I guess things like being taller, having bigger breasts, having perfect skin, being tanned are just some of the things that I would 'need' (according to what we see in media and maybe a lot of men's opinions too) to be beautiful. And maybe it does affect (effect? :P) women more than men. It's so easy to be critical of our appearance and to compare ourselves to other people or celebrities without even realising that's what your doing sometimes. And if thoughts about appearance / whether your beautiful or not or telling yourself you're ugly become frequent it's really not healthy. But it can be really hard to avoid thinking that way and comparing yourself to others every now and then. (for me anyway)

I think beauty is hard to define. What someone finds beautiful or attractive varies from person to person but having particular things constantly portrayed as ideal or beautiful starts to 'build up' in a way and automatically becomes what we associate with beauty.

Thanks to the OP for sharing the video. I like what the girl's message is in her video for the most part. It helped me to watch it. I don't think she's ugly.

I think for me, and maybe other people, working on things like self esteem will be what will help me feel beautiful even if I don't match what society and media seems to 'tell me' what beautiful is. And I can be ok with that. (because like Lapis said there is no magic button to make you look exactly how you want - but if one's ever invented it I' might use it :P)

(I'm not sure if any of that made sense or if I'm just repeating things... but that's what I ended up writing...)

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(@frankl)

Posted : 04/18/2013 7:26 am

@LEE1234 just injecting a little bit of humor into the situation. get over yourself dude

EDIT- I was just letting her know how a lot of guys think. Not necessarily you. I'm sure you have standards. So whatever. Don't want no drama.

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(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 04/18/2013 4:51 pm

Paris Hilton is not on my list of girls to go after. Yeah, she's a girl. A very little air-headed barbie girl.

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(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 04/18/2013 5:17 pm

People say the same about Britney Spears but she's a millionaire so she must be able to do some things right... You'd think so anyway.

Paris Hilton is not on my list of girls to go after. Yeah, she's a girl. A very little air-headed barbie girl.

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