i disparately need to get a job, my step dad is beginning to hassle me about me not having a job and rightfully so. i do feel shame and guilt just being at home all day mooching off my mom and step dad. but they don't understand how much this shit really effect me, i kinda have told them but not to the extent of how much it really does rule my life. so my step dad want me to join the army or go live with my dad again, but i just want to get a non aggressive job and go to college but well you know acne is fucking that up -_-. so anyone who has been a cashier or some sort of public employee with acne please tell me how do you cope with it? how,how,how, god damn it how! this shit is like next to impossible isn't it?
i disparately need to get a job, my step dad is beginning to hassle me about me not having a job and rightfully so. i do feel shame and guilt just being at home all day mooching off my mom and step dad. but they don't understand how much this shit really effect me, i kinda have told them but not to the extent of how much it really does rule my life. so my step dad want me to join the army or go live with my dad again, but i just want to get a non aggressive job and go to college but well you know acne is fucking that up -_-. so anyone who has been a cashier or some sort of public employee with acne please tell me how do you cope with it? how,how,how, god damn it how! this shit is like next to impossible isn't it?
You shouldn't let the acne get in the way of living your life - trust me on that. If you get a front-facing job don't spend you day worrying about what the great unwashed public think as most of the time they won't actually notice you're there - they'll be in their own little world thinking about what they're going to do next or something. Anyway the extra money will probably you make you feel happier because of all the nice things you can buy with it 
Hi!
I used to be a cashier, and I've had other jobs at hotels where I had to be face-to-face with people many times.
I just did other things to make myself feel pretty, or good about myself. Eat my favorite food, take a good shower, put on my favorite perfume, do my hair, wear makeup, and I avoided mirrors/bathrooms. I just greeted everyone and acted like my face was freakin fantastic. 
I wouldn't let it bother you. All of the jobs I had were fun, and I made so many friends at jobs. 
And enemies too. haha
But if you are very self-conscious, and need a job, have you thought about working from home? I have a few friends who do EVERYTHING at home. School and work. Some of the jobs they do is ermm.... like phone stuff. They do like customer service/support. All they do is hear customers b*tch all the time. Can make life stressful. lol Or maybe you can work for insurance/telemarketer?
In the end, you're going to have to just learn to deal with it. Try not to think about it. =)
It's difficult. I do think you should get a job, but I don't see why you need to get the most in-your-face customer service job possible (cashiering). Honestly, I've been a cashier many times and acne aside, it's a shitty job. VERY repetitive, boring, your feet and ankles get sore and swollen from standing in one place all day. It's really no good. If you want a much better job that will get you out of the house, make you some money and still offer you the challenge of SOME customer interaction without having to talk to customers every second of the day, go for stocking at a store instead of cashiering. Stocking at a grocery store was one of the best jobs I ever had. You get to zone out on your own project, arrange things all nice and customers will still talk to you so you can still kinda challenge your social anxiety. Cashiering just sucks, man. And honestly, I made $2 more an hour stocking than I did as a cashier, which is weird since it's so much easier a job.
It usually doesn't require any experience, either. So if you want to work in a store, that's what I'd do.
Another low-stress, fun job I've had where no one cared about acne was delivering pizzas. You can make BANK doing that too, especially if you find a busy restaurant in a nice part of town. When I delivered pizzas, there were times I made $100 a night in untaxed tips on TOP of the $25-30 bucks I'd make in hourly wages. It was a good deal. But you need a car.
Oh, and if you don't have a car, you could also work in the kitchens. Kitchens at a pizza parlor are usually epic fun places to work. Everyone is goofy and relaxed and most of them are stoners or other chill type of people. My acne was bad when I was there but no one cared, everything was really funny and chill. I made some good friends when I worked at a pizza place. It could be the right type of environment for someone like you.
Hope that helps! Good luck!
I would definitely talk to a psychologist about your avoidant personality disorder if I were you.
You need to lay off this guy and maybe take some psychology classes yourself. I have a Bachelor's in Developmental Psychology and also 10 years of experience with severe cystic acne. There is a huge difference between a healthy looking individual avoiding social interaction because of their own traumas, fears, delusions, anxieties, etc. and someone who feels humiliated because they have a face full of inflamed lesions peppered across their face and are embarrassed to be looked at by their peers, strangers, those of the opposite sex, and so on. I'm not entirely sure what level of severity OP's acne is, but for a guy being so embarrassed to go to work, my guess would be that it's bad. Severe cases of acne will bring even the most outgoing and hardworking people down and leave them a broken shell of what they used to be. They start missing classes, canceling appointments, and forget about family functions. Having bad acne is a debilitating skin condition that scars you both physically and emotionally.
Your statement about him having avoidant personality disorder was incredibly ignorant. I wonder if you've ever seen a picture of severe acne. Having a bad case of it at OP's age? Your self esteem is shot. I don't know if you just have a thing for putting others down and labeling them, but if you are going to do it, go somewhere where your labeling might make a bit of sense. Someone who does not want to go out because their face looks like shit isn't someone with an avoidant personality, it is someone who is completely normal.
My first advice to the OP would be to start growing a thick beard. I did this and it helps hide a lot of the scars and active lesions although its difficult to apply medication. Secondly, enroll in some night classes at a community college, where mostly working folks attend. The people in those classes are a lot cooler in my opinion and have a lot going on in their life so they will pay less attention to everyone else. Take a full schedule, and make a plan on how to get your acne under control (derm appointment, holistic doctor, whatever your thing is). If going to night classes 4 times a week is too daunting, take just a couple night classes and take the rest in online classes or those long weekend courses where you only have to go like 3 or 4 times. At least then you can tell your step father that you are enrolled full time in school and your parents will see you are doing something productive for your future. I know you may feel like staying alone all the time, but you know its not right to "mooch" off your parents. I think the night classes at a community college idea is the best thing you can do. It will get your parents off your back, and get you out of the house on the road to a college degree.
If going to college isn't good enough for your parents, just go part time to school and try to find a job as a personal assistant to someone, be a bookkeeper so at least you are only seeing a minimal amount of people a day and you have some time by yourself to do paperwork. Being a stockboy or a pizza delivery man like another poster said is a good idea too. You could also do caregiving work where a lot of time the people you care for are disabled and elderly and really could care less about what your face looks like.
I would definitely talk to a psychologist about your avoidant personality disorder if I were you.
You need to lay off this guy and maybe take some psychology classes yourself. I have a Bachelor's in Developmental Psychology and also 10 years of experience with severe cystic acne. There is a huge difference between a healthy looking individual avoiding social interaction because of their own traumas, fears, delusions, anxieties, etc. and someone who feels humiliated because they have a face full of inflamed lesions peppered across their face and are embarrassed to be looked at by their peers, strangers, those of the opposite sex, and so on. I'm not entirely sure what level of severity OP's acne is, but for a guy being so embarrassed to go to work, my guess would be that it's bad. Severe cases of acne will bring even the most outgoing and hardworking people down and leave them a broken shell of what they used to be. They start missing classes, canceling appointments, and forget about family functions. Having bad acne is a debilitating skin condition that scars you both physically and emotionally.
Your statement about him having avoidant personality disorder was incredibly ignorant. I wonder if you've ever seen a picture of severe acne. Having a bad case of it at OP's age? Your self esteem is shot. I don't know if you just have a thing for putting others down and labeling them, but if you are going to do it, go somewhere where your labeling might make a bit of sense. Someone who does not want to go out because their face looks like shit isn't someone with an avoidant personality, it is someone who is completely normal.
My first advice to the OP would be to start growing a thick beard. I did this and it helps hide a lot of the scars and active lesions although its difficult to apply medication. Secondly, enroll in some night classes at a community college, where mostly working folks attend. The people in those classes are a lot cooler in my opinion and have a lot going on in their life so they will pay less attention to everyone else. Take a full schedule, and make a plan on how to get your acne under control (derm appointment, holistic doctor, whatever your thing is). If going to night classes 4 times a week is too daunting, take just a couple night classes and take the rest in online classes or those long weekend courses where you only have to go like 3 or 4 times. At least then you can tell your step father that you are enrolled full time in school and your parents will see you are doing something productive for your future. I know you may feel like staying alone all the time, but you know its not right to "mooch" off your parents. I think the night classes at a community college idea is the best thing you can do. It will get your parents off your back, and get you out of the house on the road to a college degree.
If going to college isn't good enough for your parents, just go part time to school and try to find a job as a personal assistant to someone, be a bookkeeper so at least you are only seeing a minimal amount of people a day and you have some time by yourself to do paperwork. Being a stockboy or a pizza delivery man like another poster said is a good idea too. You could also do caregiving work where a lot of time the people you care for are disabled and elderly and really could care less about what your face looks like.
No, it's not normal. It is far from normal that you don't go somewhere, because you are afraid of how people will judge you. That is just not okay.
What is normal is that you go somewhere and don't be hindered by how people judge you, because those people are not really attacking you. You should take it as mere criticism (at most), but that should not impact your behaviour in any way.
What IS not normal is when people are avoiding you, don't want to talk to you and start beating you up. Then you have a problem on your hands, because then you are being bullied.
Back to me: So if I am wrong to lable someone with AvPD, then where do these symptoms belong to:
- Hypersensitivity to rejection/criticism
- Self-imposed social isolation
- Extreme shyness or anxiety in social situations, though the person feels a strong desire for close relationships[10]
- Avoids physical contact because it has been associated with an unpleasant or painful stimulus
- Feelings of inadequacy
- Severe low self-esteem
- Self-loathing
- Mistrust of others
- Emotional distancing related to intimacy
- Highly self-conscious
- Self-critical about their problems relating to others
- Problems in occupational functioning
- Lonely self-perception, although others may find the relationship with them meaningful
- Feeling inferior to others
- In some more extreme cases agoraphobia
- Utilizes fantasy as a form of escapism and to interrupt painful thoughts[11][12]
First of all, the DSM is a manual that many mental health professionals disagree with. A person could meet countless symptoms for a plethora of one of the diagnosis included in the manual at any one point in their life, based on their current stresses, so it is undoubtedly a deeply flawed and unscientific document for psychological treatment. We all go through normal emotions of anxiety, depression, trust issues, fear of rejection, etc throughout life but it does not mean we have a psychiatric illness as many in the mental health community would like us to believe. Furthermore, the OP's issues of low self esteem and fear of rejection are a result of having a legitimate medical problem resulting in a physical deformity, not an otherwise healthy individual who is fearful of meeting others based on traumas of early childhood, delusional thinking, long term substance abuse issues, etc. Any first year psych student would be able to tell the difference between OP's issue, and someone with a legitimate avoidant personality. It's apples and oranges.
But you really missed the entire point of my post. It is incredibly ignorant and dangerous for YOU to label a stranger online suffering from acne who is having trouble leaving the the house with a personality disorder. It's quite ridiculous.
I suppose someone who has a cleft lip or a disfigured face from a botched surgery who is apprehensive about meeting new people for fear of rejection would also fall into your opinion of avoidant personality disorder as well. You can cut and clip all the little wikipedia documents you want but your statement was foolish. Quit putting labels on others and instead reach out with practical advice, so they might actually figure out how to cope with life without feeling trapped in a box because they have some unfounded "brain disease" told to them by a random internet poster without any credentials. You are not a mental health professional.
First of all, the DSM is a manual that many mental health professionals disagree with. A person could meet countless symptoms for a plethora of one of the diagnosis included in the manual at any one point in their life, based on their current stresses, so it is undoubtedly a deeply flawed and unscientific document for psychological treatment. We all go through normal emotions of anxiety, depression, trust issues, fear of rejection, etc throughout life but it does not mean we have a psychiatric illness as many in the mental health community would like us to believe. Furthermore, the OP's issues of low self esteem and fear of rejection are a result of having a legitimate medical problem resulting in a physical deformity, not an otherwise healthy individual who is fearful of meeting others based on traumas of early childhood, delusional thinking, long term substance abuse issues, etc. Any first year psych student would be able to tell the difference between OP's issue, and someone with a legitimate avoidant personality. It's apples and oranges.
But you really missed the entire point of my post. It is incredibly ignorant and dangerous for YOU to label a stranger online suffering from acne who is having trouble leaving the the house with a personality disorder. It's quite ridiculous.
I suppose someone who has a cleft lip or a disfigured face from a botched surgery who is apprehensive about meeting new people for fear of rejection would also fall into your opinion of avoidant personality disorder as well. You can cut and clip all the little wikipedia documents you want but your statement was foolish. Quit putting labels on others and instead reach out with practical advice, so they might actually figure out how to cope with life without feeling trapped in a box because they have some unfounded "brain disease" told to them by a random internet poster without any credentials. You are not a mental health professional.
Okay, I thought I would just use a term that encompasses all the symptoms he is displaying. I have to learn something here and I find it very interesting. So if someone has a problem with his/her brain, then (s)he is having a disorder and when it caused by something external (physical deformity), it isn't a disorder? How about PTSD from bullying and war? How does it work?
Also, is my advice for someone sending someone to a psychologist (or a doctor) not practical?
To be honest, the OP could benefit from counseling. So I can agree with you on that. Being under the guidance of a licensed Psychologist could give him that extra push to get out there and feel like an adult rather than someone living under their parents roof passing time in a depressive state.
My issue was with the way you carelessly threw him that diagnosis of Avoidant Personality disorder. Firstly, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (The DSM) which mental health professionals use to diagnose patients, is a debated document in the mental health community, one which I don't particularly agree with. An armchair psychologist online telling others that they might have a certain diagnosis can cause undue harm on an individual as many times a diagnosis leads to a person feeling trapped and helpless inside a box based on the determination of another human being. Many mental health professionals these days are reforming the profession instead focusing on symptom based treatment. The profession in the last 4 decades has been rather obsessed with encompassing labels created by a panel of wealthy psychiatric insiders who votes over cigars and martinis at a 2 day conference at the Marriott each year.
My point was that someone suffering from bad acne who is afraid to go out is not a typical avoidant personality. Avoidant personalities usually suffer from a delusional way of thinking about others based on judgements they project onto others. Their delusions are based on traumas, unfounded and distorted logic, but almost always based on a low self worth.
The OP's issue with going out into the world is more of an agoraphobia stemming from on a medical issue that results in a socially undesirable physical appearance. Yes, physical and mental health go hand and hand...but a true avoidant personality would not be someone who is avoiding college because they have inflamed lesions on their face. It would be based on their disorted and overblown misconceptions about others. I think its safe to say in our appearance obsessed society someone with bad acne is likely to be judged and possibly made fun of by others. There is a good chance they will suffer socially and miss out on job opportunities, events, dating etc as a result of their appearance. So OP's low self esteem and fear of rejection is not based on a delusional fear of others, it is based around how individuals in our culture, particularly 20 somethings, view people with severe acne.
But as someone educated in human behavior, and as an acne sufferer, I must say it is unwise for anyone on an internet forum to tell a complete stranger that they have a specific psychiatric diagnosis. However I think you may have misspoke, so don't think I am calling your character out...just your choice of words.
Moving along to what you asked about disorders, as you may call them, such as PTSD, are really just clusters of symptoms in the DSM that cause someone difficulty in coping with life (they range widely in severity so my description was over simplified). Now, PTSD may be related to a past physical trauma, but personality disorders are not typically related to someone suffering from self esteem issues due to a physical deformity. If OP's type of issue was to be diagnosed it would probably be Social Anxiety Disorder NOS (Not otherwise specified) but I honestly think most mental health professionals would avoid diagnosis as OP's anxieties are perfectly normal in the circumstance.
I think it would be a good idea for everyone on internet forums to put the psychiatric jargon down for a second and let professionals make these determinations. Right now, we should focus on the OP at hand. He is suffering and in need of a push into a type of lifestyle that meets him halfway between being totally uncomfortable and safely isolated. This way he is doing something and is productive member of society, despite his condition which I hope he finds a solution for. Hope I was some help.
I definitely agree that it isn't disordered to be very upset and have a difficult time living with severe acne. It would seem to me that you'd almost have to be a sociopath not to have these feelings, at least sometimes.
Yeah i mean what am i suppose to be glad that i have this shit? lol i think not, mentally i'm fine i think rationally and what not. i just chose to deal with it, by not dealing with it. i don't want to, i'v been threw enough already 7 years of this shit man. that's one third of my fucking life -_-.
I definitely agree that it isn't disordered to be very upset and have a difficult time living with severe acne. It would seem to me that you'd almost have to be a sociopath not to have these feelings, at least sometimes.
Yeah i mean what am i suppose to be glad that i have this shit? lol i think not, mentally i'm fine i think rationally and what not. i just chose to deal with it, by not dealing with it. i don't want to, i'v been threw enough already 7 years of this shit man. that's one third of my fucking life -_-.
So Albert,
Have you thought about what you are going to do? Community college night classes? Pizza delivery?
I definitely agree that it isn't disordered to be very upset and have a difficult time living with severe acne. It would seem to me that you'd almost have to be a sociopath not to have these feelings, at least sometimes.
Yeah i mean what am i suppose to be glad that i have this shit? lol i think not, mentally i'm fine i think rationally and what not. i just chose to deal with it, by not dealing with it. i don't want to, i'v been threw enough already 7 years of this shit man. that's one third of my fucking life -_-.
So Albert,
Have you thought about what you are going to do? Community college night classes? Pizza delivery?
Hey what's up, yeah so later today im going to look for another car to buy with my mom. i had one already but wreaked it after two bottles of liquor lol i was cliped in the front by a work truck. kinda lucky i guess a little more back & who know's it might have been it for me lol. i was far too drunk to care though i parked back at my house & went off again walking drunk as hell to the store. i originally planed going back to the liquor store for more booze, but that was too far to go walking instead i went to my local deli & bought a pack of smokes. so i'm not sure exactly what time it was but i know it was the early hours of the morning & there i was drunk walking in the rain to a local strip clup (it was closed). just standing there drunk burning through my cigs, when a random guy asks me for a smoke.
well after some minutes of talking i ended up going with him to his crib, because i told him i was looking for something and he said he'd help me we ended up walking to his friends house still raining and wet, but because of my drunkenness i didn't care. so it's now about 5 am and i waited about two hours just sitting there watching tv, burning through more of my cigs. until finally his brother came along, we drove around town looking for it. to no avail, it's now 10 to 11 am and back i go to his friends house because the other guys bro had to do something else. ok it's 12 pm haven't slept the whole night, my drunkenness has mostly warn off and i have about half my smokes left. when finally i found what i was looking for, but it ended up being the wrong thing >=0. i was so beat i just said f it and went walking back home again. it was about 3pm when i got home.
i came to find a note on the table from my mom saying to call here when i got home. i did, she told me that when she saw the car & that i was missing she had called the police out of fear that something had happened to me lol. she's so overprotective sometimes, anyways the night before i had manage to bribe the truck driver that hit me with $100 i had, so i managed to avoid the cops on that occasion. As a result nothing had happened that day legally to me, needless to say it had been a crazy night & day for me lol all true.
well it's now been about two months since the whole ordeal and four months since i got let go from my previous job. what have i been doing in the meantime? well sadly nothing other then playing cod and being on netflix, so that leads me up to today we're going to checkout some cars i found on criagslist & if everything goes well i might be driving one home today. But my mom already told me as soon as i get wheels again to go find some work asap. I agree with her it's time, i'm tired of leching lol and i recognise how tolerant my moms been with me. being 19 ang jobless is embarrassing especially being hispanic, in this country we are known to be hard works unfortunately for me lol
hell my skin may be hispanic but my mind is american lol and proudly so, i'm not ashamed to say im no good at heavy duty job's i tryed house construction with my step dad lasted only two days 
! i'm not even good at fast paced jobs like fast food im to slow at it. i know realise that the only way to have a comfortable life is to go to college and get some kind of degree. so that's also something at the top of my list of things to do after i find work. in conclusion to this little story as a last resort if i can't find or hold down a job will be to enlist in the armed forces, not sure which one. everyone know they have good beifits and can help further study. but again i'll only do that if i can't make it on my own...
................................say what?
I had no idea you had issues with alcohol. I would advise that if you intend to buy another car and start a job, you seek counseling for your substance abuse issues. As someone who used to be an alcoholic, the road you are on (crashing cars and bribing divers because you are drunk) is not a good one. Good luck.
Thanks for the concern friend, but I don't really have issues with it. it was kind of a rare thing for me to do that. kind of my way of venting out my frustration by drinking it away, nothing new there I thought I could handle it but I was too drunk. that's when I got my bright idea to drive back to the liquor store after two bottles of vodka lol
................................say what?
I had no idea you had issues with alcohol. I would advise that if you intend to buy another car and start a job, you seek counseling for your substance abuse issues. As someone who used to be an alcoholic, the road you are on (crashing cars and bribing divers because you are drunk) is not a good one. Good luck.
Thanks for the concern friend, but I don't really have issues with it. it was kind of a rare thing for me to do that. kind of my way of venting out my frustration by drinking it away, nothing new there I thought I could handle it but I was too drunk. that's when I got my bright idea to drive back to the liquor store after two bottles of vodka lol
................................say what?
I had no idea you had issues with alcohol. I would advise that if you intend to buy another car and start a job, you seek counseling for your substance abuse issues. As someone who used to be an alcoholic, the road you are on (crashing cars and bribing divers because you are drunk) is not a good one. Good luck
I know first hand what its like to be frustrated over acne, relationships, life, etc and wanting to numb the pain through alcohol. But each time you wake up from that drunken stupor the problems are still there. I'm glad you see the danger in it. If you are going to drink a lot, which no one really advises, just make sure you leave the keys behind.