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I'm Damaged For Life

 
MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/19/2013 4:57 pm

Well I'm going through hell for some time now, it will be my 3rd summer I'll be watching people swimming, lying on the beach shirtless. And I will have to keep my shirt on my entire life, I can't take it anymore but there's nothing I can do about it scars are forever you can't just cut them out and there is no magical cure creams, lasers etc. medicine still cannot offer much yes you can make it less visible (but not in my case) I'm literally 'done' I always see scar-free bodies and I'm jealous they don't have this problem and they don't even think this might happen. It kills me every day I think about these ugly scars and just can't get over the fact that this is never going away, I don't really know what to do I lost my girlfriend because of this problem couple of years ago I couldn't show it to her I have no "balls" to show it to people the only person who knows it is my parents, dermatologist and few surgeons who couldn't do anything about it, however dermatologist gives me steroid injections to my scars, but that's not enough some of them are flat but they still are visible and the fact that I will never restore my skin to pre-injured state makes me want to be dead already. Sometimes I watch my pictures when I was still scar-free and cry cuz I'm not the same person I once was, I feel like wounded animal and worthless and there are many girls I would want to make out with, but I'm unable to do it, I don't even want to date cuz sooner or later they'll find out about my ugly scars. I'm really in depression I had to pass couple of girls who I liked, summer is hell to me while to others it's paradise and oh and it's my DREAM to ever have sex again. I was 14 when I first had my acne breakout on chest, shoulders and back and almost every single pimple left a scar, at first I thought it will go away, but now I don't think so. There's nothing that can help me and people like me plastic surgeons can't help, dermatologist's can only improve it but that's it, there's no way to get rid of scars, maybe in 20 years there will be, but for now this is impossible. And I really wan't to say it FUCK YOU ACNE AND FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!

Thank you for your time smile.png

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MemberMember
2
(@heyybrighteyes)

Posted : 03/19/2013 6:27 pm

im really sorry that youre having such a difficult time with this :(

i can relate, sord of.

i have several acne "scars" which are actually just PIH all over my face

its very frustrating and it hurts my self esteem a lot :/

but listen.. there are girls who will not care about this the way you do.

you might be disgusted with it, which you shouldn't be by the way, but there are girls that wont care!

trust me!

i'm one of them ! ha

to be perfectly honest your skin isn't too bad!

and there are ways to flatten the scars > www.realself.com/question/silicone-gel-pads-raised-scar-tissue

just do your research. dont give up unless you decide to stop caring

if you give up and still let it torture you.. that's not gonna be healthy.

just relax and focus on the parts of yourself that you like instead of what you dont.

good luck! :)

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MemberMember
4
(@helton)

Posted : 03/19/2013 7:27 pm

 

You can tie a sweater across your shoulder on the beach, that will hide your back and some area on the chest, but still let you somewhat naked

Be strong :)

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MemberMember
568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 03/19/2013 8:13 pm

in my opinion, your scars give you character. It shows that you've been through tough times and you survived. Women go nuts over that type of thing. I assume that you are now acne free (you must be happy about that) so go to a derm and see what they suggest. At least with body scars you have that option to cover up

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MemberMember
271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 03/20/2013 7:02 am

I know it probably won't help to tell you this, but a lot of guys have bacne/scars like that and it really isn't a big deal to girls. I've dated and made love with multiple men who had body acne way worse than yours. Try going to the beach this summer. Think of it as a challenge. The sun and salt water will help your skin, and people won't notice as much as you think they will. Especially not once you begin getting tan.

Hang in there. <3

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MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/20/2013 6:16 pm

Thanks everyone for the reply. I know girls won't care, but the problem is I do I just can't get over the fact that it's permanent, I still do research with no luck I'm obsessed with this problem...

Btw, I do go to derm I get injections to the scars maybe I'll try laser, but from what I've heard lasers don't work with raised scars well, but there isn't much of an option.

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MemberMember
0
(@thegoodson)

Posted : 03/20/2013 8:34 pm

I know it probably won't help to tell you this, but a lot of guys have bacne/scars like that and it really isn't a big deal to girls. I've dated and made love with multiple men who had body acne way worse than yours. Try going to the beach this summer. Think of it as a challenge. The sun and salt water will help your skin, and people won't notice as much as you think they will. Especially not once you begin getting tan.

Hang in there. <3

I'm a very open person just don't get me to try and take my shirt off... Aww man. Wish I could find one of these mystical unicorn ladies you speak of lol. wub.png

Honestly I'm actively looking for a female coutnerpart with acne/bacne to date so I don't have to worry about what she thinks of my skin. That mutual understanding makes it soo much easier to date. Still looking....

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MemberMember
0
(@oldstory)

Posted : 03/21/2013 2:39 am

hey man I know it feel like it never gonna go away but it will I dont know when but it will. Someday you will look back and say to yourself you know what it wasn't really that bad. I know it really tough right now but dont hope.

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MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/21/2013 7:57 am

hey man I know it feel like it never gonna go away but it will I dont know when but it will. Someday you will look back and say to yourself you know what it wasn't really that bad. I know it really tough right now but dont hope.

It's not acne it's scars it will never go away it may fade and I'm treating them for 5 months already, yes they will get better but that's it they will stay with me forever.

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MemberMember
72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 03/21/2013 2:19 pm

im really sorry that youre having such a difficult time with this sad.png

i can relate, sord of.

i have several acne "scars" which are actually just PIH all over my face

its very frustrating and it hurts my self esteem a lot :/

but listen.. there are girls who will not care about this the way you do.

you might be disgusted with it, which you shouldn't be by the way, but there are girls that wont care!

trust me!

i'm one of them ! ha

to be perfectly honest your skin isn't too bad!

and there are ways to flatten the scars > www.realself.com/question/silicone-gel-pads-raised-scar-tissue

just do your research. dont give up unless you decide to stop caring

if you give up and still let it torture you.. that's not gonna be healthy.

just relax and focus on the parts of yourself that you like instead of what you dont.

good luck! smile.png

in my opinion, your scars give you character. It shows that you've been through tough times and you survived. Women go nuts over that type of thing. I assume that you are now acne free (you must be happy about that) so go to a derm and see what they suggest. At least with body scars you have that option to cover up

I know it probably won't help to tell you this, but a lot of guys have bacne/scars like that and it really isn't a big deal to girls. I've dated and made love with multiple men who had body acne way worse than yours. Try going to the beach this summer. Think of it as a challenge. The sun and salt water will help your skin, and people won't notice as much as you think they will. Especially not once you begin getting tan.

Hang in there. <3

You are the only three so far who don't care about it. In my opinion if girls only slightly notice that you have a skin problem like acne, then they avoid you like you have very contagious, deadly skincancer, which they think they will get as well as soon as they see you. I'm not the only guy who experienced this kind of bullying, right?

Like TheGoodSon I want to know where those mystical unicorn ladies are in my area. So far I haven't found them. I don't mean this in the context of "tolerating you", but in the context of "wanting to have a relationship with you". In the former context I have finally found a couple of ladies (who actually converse with me about all kinds of topics), but not in the latter context.

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MemberMember
271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 03/21/2013 2:40 pm

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

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MemberMember
72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 03/21/2013 2:56 pm

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

We are not going to agree, so I quit this discussion. (It is not my thread anyway). My advice to the TS is to do everything in his power to get rid of the scars.

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MemberMember
271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 03/21/2013 3:00 pm

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

We are not going to agree, so I quit this discussion. (It is not my thread anyway). My advice to the TS is to do everything in his power to get rid of the scars.

Okay....sorry I wasn't trying to argue or upset you or anything. <3

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MemberMember
2
(@heyybrighteyes)

Posted : 03/21/2013 3:51 pm

i agree with dejaclairevoyant

its all about the way you carry yourself.

all 3 relationships that i've been in (all serious) the guys have had acne to some degree

my first had the most acne. and he wasn't the best looking in general.. a lot of people would say "why is she with him?" which would just piss me off.

but you know what? he was charismatic, smart, and funny. and all those things drew me in and kept me with him for a year and a half

and acne was never an issue to me

just work on eating healthy, exercise, drink water.

you're gonna be fine :)

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MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/21/2013 3:55 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

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MemberMember
72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 03/21/2013 4:06 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

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MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/21/2013 4:09 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

Accutane works for acne not for scars...

Well I have been on accutane for 3 months acne gone but left scars.

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MemberMember
72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 03/21/2013 4:21 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

Accutane works for acne not for scars...

Well I have been on accutane for 3 months acne gone but left scars.

So what have you tried or what did you want to try? (Creams, laser, etc)

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MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/21/2013 4:39 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

Accutane works for acne not for scars...

Well I have been on accutane for 3 months acne gone but left scars.

So what have you tried or what did you want to try? (Creams, laser, etc)

So far I have tried Steroid injections (triamcinolone acetonide) and IPL-intense pulsed laser I have about 10-20% of improvement right now.

I don't bother with creams they simply don't work, well they do but they would give me 5% of improvement.

Plastic surgeons said nothing can be done, dermatoligst said that she can improve my scars but I won't get dramatic results that I expect.

Edit: I might try some stuff called "agnijith" when I'm finished with my injections 2 of them left.

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MemberMember
72
(@alexanderj86)

Posted : 03/21/2013 4:54 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

Accutane works for acne not for scars...

Well I have been on accutane for 3 months acne gone but left scars.

So what have you tried or what did you want to try? (Creams, laser, etc)

So far I have tried Steroid injections (triamcinolone acetonide) and IPL-intense pulsed laser I have about 10-20% of improvement right now.

I don't bother with creams they simply don't work, well they do but they would give me 5% of improvement.

Plastic surgeons said nothing can be done, dermatoligst said that she can improve my scars but I won't get dramatic results that I expect.

Edit: I might try some stuff called "agnijith" when I'm finished with my injections 2 of them left.

Ok, I would like to know the results smile.png

I have acne (and scarring) on my back that is worse than yours.

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MemberMember
108
(@randall-flagg)

Posted : 03/21/2013 4:57 pm

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

I understand your thought process here, but at the same time it's very discouraging for a guy with skin issues to hear something this. It's often mentioned that girls are turned off by guys who lack confidence, and I get that, gender roles being what they are and everything. But what that tells me is that if I meet a girl I should just fake confidence throughout the relationship, project myself as this big tough, powerful dude just exuding machismo...and that's basically the key to the whole situation? I'd be lying to myself and the girl if I do that, and plus it makes the whole scenario seem hopeless to me because it tells me that I can never actually confide in this woman about my own insecurities and how skin issues makes me feel...instead I have to be this perfect image of masculinity that doesn't feel emotions and just swallows it all down to ensure that she remains attracted to me. I want a relationship where I can actually find a girl who trusts me enough to share any personal insecurities she has with herself...and at the exact same time I'd like to be able to share my own flaws with her.

Don't get me wrong, I highly respect your opinions and you're one of the coolest people on this site, I just think the whole acne thing and the emotional baggage that comes along with it can sometimes be perceived differently from both a male and female perspective. It's interesting to get a viewpoint from both genders on a discussion like this.

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MemberMember
271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 03/21/2013 5:54 pm

The issue is confidence. Women are turned off by non-confident guys. The opposite is probably true to some degree, but in general, I think it's easier for women to get away with being less confident because more men tend to want to be the powerful one in the relationship. A lot of women also want a strong, powerful man. When a guy is really self conscious about his appearance, he doesn't feel powerful and we can tell. The guys I dated that had cystic acne or body acne never seemed to care and were VERY confident with me. As in, smile across the party, strut over, grab my ass and carry me out to the dance floor sort of confident. You know? I guarantee that is what is putting girls off of you guys, not acne or anything else about the way you look.

Now...how those guys were so confident despite having bad acne is beyond me. I haven't accomplished that myself so I can't tell anyone else how to accomplish it.

I understand your thought process here, but at the same time it's very discouraging for a guy with skin issues to hear something this. It's often mentioned that girls are turned off by guys who lack confidence, and I get that, gender roles being what they are and everything. But what that tells me is that if I meet a girl I should just fake confidence throughout the relationship, project myself as this big tough, powerful dude just exuding machismo...and that's basically the key to the whole situation? I'd be lying to myself and the girl if I do that, and plus it makes the whole scenario seem hopeless to me because it tells me that I can never actually confide in this woman about my own insecurities and how skin issues makes me feel...instead I have to be this perfect image of masculinity that doesn't feel emotions and just swallows it all down to ensure that she remains attracted to me. I want a relationship where I can actually find a girl who trusts me enough to share any personal insecurities she has with herself...and at the exact same time I'd like to be able to share my own flaws with her.

Don't get me wrong, I highly respect your opinions and you're one of the coolest people on this site, I just think the whole acne thing and the emotional baggage that comes along with it can sometimes be perceived differently from both a male and female perspective. It's interesting to get a viewpoint from both genders on a discussion like this.

Thanks! (for the coolest person comment hehe) I didn't mean not to be yourself and pretend that you don't have any problems or anything. I know a lot of sweet, sensitive guys who are happy and confident and not necessarily "manly" or whatever. I was just trying to make everyone feel better because they may not be able to change acne, but they can change the way they carry themselves (it's hard, but possible at least). Maybe "happy" would be a better word to use than "confident."

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MemberMember
5
(@damnlife)

Posted : 03/21/2013 6:40 pm

AlexanderJ86 I'm doing a lot of research on this but I end up at "scars are permanent" sure I'll fight the rest of my life with scars.

I have confidence as long as I'm with my shirt on, without the shirt I feel worthless,and I have been told by girls I'm good looking etc. but first I need to make these scars as flat as possible before getting tattoo I guess this will help.

What about Accutane?

Accutane works for acne not for scars...

Well I have been on accutane for 3 months acne gone but left scars.

So what have you tried or what did you want to try? (Creams, laser, etc)

So far I have tried Steroid injections (triamcinolone acetonide) and IPL-intense pulsed laser I have about 10-20% of improvement right now.

I don't bother with creams they simply don't work, well they do but they would give me 5% of improvement.

Plastic surgeons said nothing can be done, dermatoligst said that she can improve my scars but I won't get dramatic results that I expect.

Edit: I might try some stuff called "agnijith" when I'm finished with my injections 2 of them left.

Ok, I would like to know the results smile.png

I have acne (and scarring) on my back that is worse than yours.

Well that's gonna take some time till I try agnijith, but I'll definitely let you know my results :)

And if you have the same type of scarring as I do it's called hypertrophic scars (raised) not the keloids.

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MemberMember
0
(@clarence-c)

Posted : 03/22/2013 12:23 am

Hey man i could relate how you feel with this problem, myself i have acne problem on my face for years, its takes me courage to finally approach the dermatologist for treatment, and for the past year my acne problem have improve alot & almost clear.

Never give up in seeking the right treatment...

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MemberMember
2
(@kelseylee)

Posted : 03/22/2013 3:11 am

I feel like wounded animal and worthless

I have felt like this too.

Honestly if looks like your scares aren't even totally healed yet...it makes me sad/uneasy to see you going so crazy with so many "treatments" to "fix" them. Just let your skin heal fully until you can actually attempt some cosmetic alterations. Otherwise you might be making them worse in a way by not giving them their full healing potential. Seriously, nobody romantically will care about this. The guy who broke my heart and who I obsessed over had face and bacne, with scars, and I was obsessed with him. I dated really conventionally good looking athletic guys before him who never even mattered to me, so this is like the reverse of what you guys are saying.

It's seriously not as important as you think it is right now, but that's not to diminish how you feel...I totally get it and these feelings are strong and terrifying. I have wept and obsessed my fair share. Honestly I think it is deeper emotions you're dealing with, possibly unrelated to acne, and you're using these scars as an outlet to express your mental anguish. sorry if i'm overstepping my boundaries here but just want to suggest an alternative so maybe you can stop focusing so much on this external factor. maybe it is your fear of putting yourself out there romantically, and rejection, that is speaking through this scar angst. I have looked at pictures of myself before I was "broken" and fucked up with skin issues and felt that same pain of why can't I look like I used to. But hey, life changes, it can't stay one way forever, everything has culminated into this very moment and what choice do we really have but to accept it? we can continue to find against reality, but that just hurts more.

I have a huge scar on the back of my leg from accidentally kicking in a glass door. Never once did I worry about it cosmetically, even tho it's huge--however a tiny expanded pore on my face can have me in tears, so hey I really understand. Please try to get some rest, tlc, and work on positive self talk and loving yourself. All the red marks will be gone and the raised scars will turn white and be barely visible. patience.

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