I met this guy for the purpose of a hookup, a quickie, a one night stand. BUT it evolved into something else. Since I met him 2 weeks ago, he's been coming over every other day. He even gave me chocolates for Valentine's Day.
BUT we never meet outside my bedroom. I always make sure there's minimal lighting (just a candle and the computer lit). He always invites me to go out to the club or to his place, but I can't. Why? Because if I go over to his place, he'll have to drop me off the next day IN THE DAYLIGHT! I can't have that. I'm scared he'll see me in the daylight. That means crater face and acne in the morning.
I wear makeup every time he comes over, so if I go over to his place, I'll have to shower the next morning. Again, I can't have that.
I also have this big big big massive zit on my right temple. Ughck. I just popped it now and it'll heal for at least 3 days.
I've turned down his offers to hang out so many times, he's probably turned off. I know the replies will be, "Don't worry, if he really likes you he won't care about your acne, yadda yada" but it's really easier to say than to absorb. Sigh.
You know, lighting and makeup arent really that powerful. He'll know you have acne and he'll have an idea of how bad it is. Besides, if he doesnt like you with acne, then he doesnt deserve you without it. Its simple, really. If you keep up this act he'll lose interest anyway, so what have you got to lose?
I had this same dilemma the other week - I had a date arranged and I came so close to cancelling, but then I thought no im glad im broken out because I want him to see me at my worst, because i do break out and if he knows right away then its an issue dealt with. What would have been worse was if my skin had cleared up and then the next time id seen him id broken out.
Lifes too short to let acne control your life - you cant let it win. I know its hard but you really have to push yourself to do those things that normal people take for granted every single day, things like being able to look in a car mirror, being able to go swimming and not worry about if your makeup has washed off. You just have to push yourself. The more you do these things, the easier it gets. And eventually you will have clear skin, and your character will have gained so much from the experience, because people with acne have a level of empathy that most people dont, and thats a gift.
You know, lighting and makeup arent really that powerful. He'll know you have acne and he'll have an idea of how bad it is. Besides, if he doesnt like you with acne, then he doesnt deserve you without it. Its simple, really. If you keep up this act he'll lose interest anyway, so what have you got to lose?
I had this same dilemma the other week - I had a date arranged and I came so close to cancelling, but then I thought no im glad im broken out because I want him to see me at my worst, because i do break out and if he knows right away then its an issue dealt with. What would have been worse was if my skin had cleared up and then the next time id seen him id broken out.
Lifes too short to let acne control your life - you cant let it win. I know its hard but you really have to push yourself to do those things that normal people take for granted every single day, things like being able to look in a car mirror, being able to go swimming and not worry about if your makeup has washed off. You just have to push yourself. The more you do these things, the easier it gets. And eventually you will have clear skin, and your character will have gained so much from the experience, because people with acne have a level of empathy that most people dont, and thats a gift.
Beautiful point of view.
"Stop having one night stands"
... er why? Will that help her acne?
"MTV has ruined our generation"
... LOL... I'm pretty certain people were having one night stands long before MTV came along mate. If you really want to know whats damaging our generation, its religious fundamentalism... but i digress.
"people are too free with sex"
... what, you want people to start charging for it instead? Hows that better? lol
Seriously, there's nothing wrong with one night stands (so long as its not a symptom of deeper issues) .. so stop being judgemental. I'm sure she's a very normal girl with good morals, who knows right from wrong etc etc. She asked for advice about her acne... so if you cant help, its probably best if you dont make post like that.
So anyway....
If you want to get serious with this guy, you've got to take him up on the offer of a proper date. I'm sure he is aware of your skin anyway, and clearly he likes you, cause he keep asking you out. Do it. If it doesn't lead anywhere, then at least you know he's not the right sort of guy for you anyway.
Keep us posted!
When I said 'people are too free with sex', it's just from my experience. I overhear some women in uni being like "I've dated him for 3 weeks and we still haven't had sex!" and her friends are all like omg no way. Is it so bad? Do you really have to bounce on his pogo stick before you really know him? What ever happened to closing your legs once in a while? I guess it's misplaced anger; every girl I come across just seems like a prostitute these days. All they talk about are one night stands etc. Even the ones who I think are decent. I guess I saw this as an opportunity to mention it... do I regret it?
LAWL NO
Hey guys, anyway. So like I said, for the past 2 weeks, I've only seen this guy in my dim bedroom with lit candles and computer screen on. BUT thanks to XXYY who PMed me about a miracle foundation, everything changed.
Two days ago I went to the drugstore and sought out Vichy Dermablend, the foundation XXYY talked to me about. I was just going to go and grab the product, but the makeup lady stopped me and asked if I needed help. I was hesitant at first, but she was really good. It even ended up with her putting makeup on me right in the store! It was nerve-wracking especially because the chair was facing the door, but she was really good.
Yesterday, my guy texted me if I wanted to meet him for dinner. I was really scared because that would mean he would see me in brighter environment. I went to the drugstore to pick up makeup remover but saw the makeup lady again. For some reason we ended up talking about MY date and she was like, "Aww, why didn't you tell me?! Come back later before your date and I can fix you up!"
So I came back to the drugstore around 9:45 pm and the lady did my face. The drugstore had fluorescent lights and you can still see my acne scars and marks but it looked so much better. I hugged the makeup lady (lol at us bonding over this) and even got her Facebook, hahaha.
THEN I met up with him at the pub but left because it was too busy, drove around the city (with the horrible street lights shining on my face), and eventually went to a restaurant. The restaurant had really BRIGHT lighting and I was really scared, but at that point, I said fuck it. If this guy doesn't like me, then who cares anymore. BUT we ordered nachos and fries and we chatted for a long time at the resto. He seemed to be having fun and I was too. It even ended up with him inviting me to Las Vegas, omg!
We went back to my place. For the first time ever, I turned the lights on (it was yellow lightbulb, but still). We cuddled and did stuff and he was even looking at my face the entire time--with the lights on!
When he left and after he got home, he texted me saying he had a good time. We said goodnight, etc.
This is good. So much progress in one night. Next step: Him seeing me in the daylight! He even invited me to go swimming which is probably the worst thing ever haha.
Whore! LOL JK ^^^ LOL
@ carmusen - glad you had a good time.