Hi everyone, after being a long time visitor to the site I finally decided to sign up and here is my first post!
I am a 20 year old male from the UK that like many of you has struggled with acne for much of adolescent and early adult life.
I started getting very mild acne when I was around 14-15, and although it did bother me at the time, I got over it as I thought it was just a part of growing up and something that would go in a few years.
When I was 16 going on 17 the acne started to become more persistent and it started to bother me a lot more, I was at that very self conscious stage in life and as a result constantly obsessed over my face. I decided to visit the doctor who prescribed me a benzoyl peroxide cream amongst other things, and for a while that seemed to be effective.
However, like all things it stopped working, and for the next 1-2 years I was going back and forth to the doctors every few months and went through countless topical treatments that were prescribed to me.Long story short, none of them were ever 100% effective and they all eventually stopped working.
Between 18 and 19 my acne became even worse and went from mild to moderate, so I decided it was time to again see the doctor but this time demand antibiotics, as at the time I believed these would definitely clear me up. I was prescribed lymecycline, which like all topical treatments before it was effective for around 6 months and then lost its effect.
Cue another visit to the doctor and another visit, in which I went through two different antibiotics: tetracycline and my current one trimethoprim.
It got to the point that when I last visited the doctor I was so determined to be put on roaccutane as I felt that this was the only solution, and I had no plenty of people from school who used to have severe acne and were now clear thanks to the drug. However, I was told I did not meet the criteria for the drug as my acne was only moderate and not severe.
So here I am today, taking my trimethoprim and using my topical epiduo treatment religiously but yet again 6 months down the line my face is breaking out worse than ever and I have again lost all hope and started to become desperate. The problem with my acne is that it is taking over my life, it dictates whether or not I leave the house, what I eat, basically the reflection I see in the mirror in the morning dictates whether I am going to have a good day or just feel miserable because my skin is a mess.
For me the psychological effects of having acne are worse than anything, ever since my acne has worsened I have changed as a person and become much more shy and retiring.
So here I am now, sat at home on my bed having skipped another day of uni because I couldn't face leaving the house today feeling the lowest I have felt for quite some time. I tell myself I am being pathetic and I know that regardless of the fact I have acne, that ultimately I am fortunate to be in otherwise good health and have a loving family, but despite this I just can't seem to get out of the mental state I am in.
Anyways, sorry for the long post and thank you for taking the time to read. Just felt I had to get this off my chest as my friends and family don't seem to understand what the "fuss" is about.
Acne changed me also. I use to be so outgoing and could never stay inside, but like you, my reflection in the mirror each morning dictated my mood for the entire day. Friends would start noticing that I couldnt look them in the eye and would make excuses to ditch outings. I felt trapped in my house, my body, my own misery. I guess makeup made things a bit easier for me, but only to a certain extent. I wish I could say, "Just F it, muster up that confidence and live life!", but I know best that those things are easier said than done. Hang in there! Your acne will get better and/or you will find a way to live a somewhat normal life around/with it. Keep going to dermatologists (I went to 3 different ones). Try different regimens (I've tried too many things before I found one that worked for me).
My acne was severe (I think its moderate now) and my derm pushed me to try accutane, but I refused (as a diagnosed manic depressive I was afraid of the alleged side effects of depression and suicidal thoughts). Currently I am on amoxicillin twice a day, klaron lotion in the morning and benzamycin gel at night. I also take omega 3 and Vitamin d3 supplements. I also suggest you try supplements. Look up lists of foods that are known to cause/aggravate acne and avoid them.
A note on the epiduo, if you've been using it for 6 months and your acne is still getting worse then perhaps you may want to discontinue its use. I was on epiduo for 2-3 months and it broke me out waaay worse than i've ever been. I went to another derm who told me that yes, there is an initial breakout with epiduo, but it shouldnt be as bad as it was on my face. I was actually having an adverse reaction to the epiduo and once i stopped, my skin got significantly better! Epiduo's positive effects should be seen by the 3rd month or so..6 months is kind of a long time (but everyones skin is different).
Good luck!
I can totally relate to what you said there in your first paragraph, many of things you said such as ditching social outings and avoiding eye contact definitely ring true for me. I guess what I need to accept is that this is just how I am and that there are many other people in the world such as yourself who have to deal with this condition as well.
Thank you very much for your advice and positive words, It has been of help and comfort to me and I will definitely look into the suggestions you have made.
All the best!
I know exactly what you mean about skipping class sometimes, just because you can't face going out because of how your skin looks. I've been there quite a few times myself. I went to the same GP for years and tried different things, but he never offered roaccutane...I actually went to a different GP recently to discuss my skin, and he has said that it's definitely a possibility. I think my acne would be classified as moderate too, so maybe you should just try speaking to a different doctor who might be more willing to help you out. I'm currently trying tetracycline to see if it helps, but I like knowing that if it doesn't then this doctor is willing to let me try roaccutane. Hope you get sorted and you manage to make some progress!
Im normally depressed about acne. Like I wake up super early just to see if I've had any new breakouts. And I have so many new ones OR old ones that aren't just
going away. Its at times like that when I feel like cracking the mirror. Yet I somehow manage to get through it and tell myself it's just a 'phase'
But its that little lingering question in my mind. Will my acne ever go?
No-one in my family has acne so they don't know what i'm going through. I'm done with fighting acne. I've had enough.
Have you ever felt like that. Where you just don't care anymore?
Im normally depressed about acne. Like I wake up super early just to see if I've had any new breakouts. And I have so many new ones OR old ones that aren't just
going away. Its at times like that when I feel like cracking the mirror. Yet I somehow manage to get through it and tell myself it's just a 'phase'
But its that little lingering question in my mind. Will my acne ever go?
No-one in my family has acne so they don't know what i'm going through. I'm done with fighting acne. I've had enough.
Have you ever felt like that. Where you just don't care anymore?
I get that! I cant lie in bed in the morning and relax because I have to rush to the mirror to check my face.
To the OP - see a different doctor, tell him you've tried everything and even though your acne might not classift as 'severe' you should meet the critera for Roaccutane as nothing else has worked. It is a last resort treatment for persistant acne, not just for how bad it looks.