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Should I Have Kids?

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(@crashoran)

Posted : 01/30/2013 8:28 pm

Acne has literally ruined my life.

I don't think it would be consciousable for me to have children, knowing they would also suffer endlessly into their adulthood.

For me, diet has nothing to do with my acne (tried everything). It's all testosterone driven. Genetics.

Do you think there will be a new treatment or perhaps a cure in the near future? Because that would be the deciding factor for me. It's that bad.

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8
(@ind1g0)

Posted : 01/30/2013 11:40 pm

I do think there will be a treatment, there already are (spiro, etc). As for the kid thing, don't ever let skin prevent you from experiencing parenthood. Unless you are feeling emotionally unstable, even if you opt not to have biological children you can adopt and save a life!

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27
(@ls206816)

Posted : 02/03/2013 8:32 pm

Same question I ask myself. I really do not want to put them through this hell. Of course I'm only 16 and have a long time to decide and see what new treatments become available but it still something I question. Maybe I should just become a dermatologist and have kids that way I can prescribe them all the shit they need. Ill probably adopt one day.

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101
(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 02/03/2013 9:13 pm

This post may not be for people who hate "negativity".

This reminds of 12 Monkeys in which this mad scientist says that the planet won't survive the excesses of the human race. Like e.g. uncontrolled breeding habits. haha I once knew someone who through his religious beliefs had TEN CHILDREN. Ten! It's insane. So maybe the question if one should have kids in the first place should be on everyone's mind regardless of having something that you wouldn't want to pass on to your kids or not.

I'd be all for that. That we start looking at where the limits really are. Maybe this is already happening but at the same time it's so that everyone who wants kids can just go ahead and get them. Even regardless of whether someone is suited to be a parent or not. I don't think that's a good thing. But of course once people start saying things like this you get people getting upset and "standing up for their rights" saying that no one can tell them what they can and can't do. And I think that's something that is a problem in this world; individuals who feel they should be able to literally do everything they want even if it means that their decisions go at expense of the planet, and the planet's population.

But I will say that if I felt right about being partly responsible for the fact that someone was born into this world then I would have a child with someone regardless of having something like acne. As far as I know there isn't a guarantee that it would be passed on at all. Plus it's never certain that your child will be born without anything that is sure to have an impact on their health and therefore the quality of their life. Just think of Crohn' disease or diabetes... There are so many things that are always possible. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't it always a possibility that your child is born with something like that, having said that the chances are greater if things run in the family? But I think even when people are super healthy there's always a chance that their child won't be totally. So yeah... eusa_think.gif

I don't want kids. I'm not suited to be a father. I have certain things going for me but other things, I don't. ermm.gif It would just be a disaster... eusa_think.gif Plus I don't view life as something that's necessarily a lot of fun. It can be but plenty of times it isn't. Let's face it, how many people are happy most of the time? *shrug* I hear complaints from people a lot of the time, I see frowns, I read the news, I see hostility, I see problems... And then yes, I also see happiness and people enjoying themselves and so on but most of the time there is something in people's lives that they can do without. Something that they worry about. It's inescapable it seems. And it's tiring.

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(@user174136)

Posted : 02/04/2013 6:27 am

I'm going to have kids, and I have acne in my genetics. Want to know why? Because it'd be pretty damn selfish to deny somebody existence for the sake of blemishes on their face. I've gotten clear, it can be done. And if they hate me for giving them acne? Well, then, they wouldn't be any child of mine anyway.

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10
(@o-havoc-o)

Posted : 02/04/2013 6:56 am

Acne has literally ruined my life.

I don't think it would be consciousable for me to have children, knowing they would also suffer endlessly into their adulthood.

For me, diet has nothing to do with my acne (tried everything). It's all testosterone driven. Genetics.

Do you think there will be a new treatment or perhaps a cure in the near future? Because that would be the deciding factor for me. It's that bad.

With all due respect but you don't know what will happen.

None of my brothers and sisters, nor my parents ever had acne but i did. So obviously i have a sensitivity that they don't

Never assume.

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(@jjn)

Posted : 02/10/2013 10:31 am

I'm going to have kids, and I have acne in my genetics. Want to know why? Because it'd be pretty damn selfish to deny somebody existence for the sake of blemishes on their face.

Actually, not having kids is neither selfish or unselfish.

" Because it'd be pretty damn selfish to deny somebody existence for the sake of blemishes on their face."

What does this even mean? How can you deny the existence of something that doesn't exist? The only way I see this statement making sense is if you are looking at it from a religious point of view and believe in reincarnation.

And if they hate me for giving them acne?

Yea right. You seem to think that you can control what or how your child will feel and think. What if your child does get pretty bad acne and does blame you for it? Are you going to disown your child? You have no idea what what will happen.

"Well, then, they wouldn't be any child of mine anyway."

What a ridiculous statement to make about your potential children. You are the one being selfish here.

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(@jjn)

Posted : 02/10/2013 10:46 am

Acne has literally ruined my life.

I don't think it would be consciousable for me to have children, knowing they would also suffer endlessly into their adulthood.

For me, diet has nothing to do with my acne (tried everything). It's all testosterone driven. Genetics.

Do you think there will be a new treatment or perhaps a cure in the near future? Because that would be the deciding factor for me. It's that bad.

crashoran

Do what makes you feel most comfortable. If you don't want to have kids, then don't. If you do want kids, have kids. And if they inherit your acne make sure you be a good parent and teach them the right way to treat it.

I decided a long time ago that I will not have kids until there is a cure for my severe cystic acne. If no cure is found in my lifetime, I will not have my own biological children. However I will adopt when I am financially and emotionally ready to raise a child. I tell people this and they often ask what will you do if your adopted child has severe acne. I though about that and it is a possibility. The difference is that I would not be bringing a child into this world knowing that they will have a very high probability of getting this disease. At least I will be able to help my adopted child get treatment which my parent never did because they just did not understand acne.

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271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 02/10/2013 10:51 am

We already live in an overpopulated world. So I totally support anyone not having kids if they can find any reason to. I don't think your kids will necessarily have acne. It certainly doesn't seem genetic that way. Neither of my parents had acne. Not like I do. My mom would get maybe 1 zit every few months when she was in her twenties and thirties. Definitely not "acne," and it went away by the time she was in her forties.

I'm pretty close to deciding that I don't want kids ever. I just think it would be really sad to have to lose my own life and have to instead devote my every waking minute to taking care of another human being. It sounds like my definition of hell, lol. But this is probably because I already have a determined life path that I'm very passionate about (story writing) and it takes up most of my time as it is. Having kids would take away from my dreams, not add to them. I would always be stressed for time and having to choose between time with my children or time for my career. I just couldn't do it.

But if you really want kids, don't not have them because of the acne thing.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 02/10/2013 11:49 am

Love this thread! I'm a teacher and i may be one of the few in that profession that doesn't feel the urge to have children (naturally anyway). I know people that have children for purely selfish reasons:

want someone to love them

to say they gave birth

because thats what 'real women' do

More should go into consideration when choosing to have a child:

can you financially support one?

can you dedicate the time to one (and believe me its a lot of time)

can you put YOU on hold

The OP should not be judged or called selfish for considering that passing on certain genetical traits to her child might cause that child emotional distress.

It takes a truly UNSELFISH person to think about those factors before going against the socially expected norm

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271
(@dejaclairevoyant)

Posted : 02/11/2013 9:22 am

I agree. ^^^ Not having children isn't "denying someone existence." There is no "someone" to deny. They never existed in the first place. By not having children you would simply be doing your part to keep the world one person less populated. Which is a GOOD thing.

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106
(@sum1killme)

Posted : 02/11/2013 12:35 pm

Why would anybody want to bring a person into this shit earth.

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101
(@lapis-lazuli)

Posted : 02/11/2013 1:11 pm

 

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(@siimk)

Posted : 02/11/2013 5:02 pm

I have created my account just because of this topic..I was mostly looking for info in this forum but now i really wanted to post..

Acne is big part of my life and yeah...It has a big effect on my life and I had so much dark toughts and deperssion ..but who am I telling this all?

You guys know very well what I am talking about.....

My dad asked me one day how my face is doing..I really dont like to talk about my face with my parents so i kinda blocked him..

Then he said to me that there are people waking about with all kind of diseases every morning that you wouldnt imagine.And your face is compared to that is f...cking joke..Then i realised that he was so damn right..

You shouldnt make decisions based only on your face..Theres more to life..its hard to belive but trust me..

All I wanna say that if you started this topic then there is a small part of you that wants to have kids..And you know what..I think you should..

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2
(@theassassin)

Posted : 02/12/2013 11:56 am

At this point, probably not. It doesn't have anything to do with your acne per se, but your personality, which may be a result of your acne. Children learn from their parents--they are their first and usually most important mentors. Although this thought may not be palpable to everyone, and certainly one can argue that quality parenting is not common practice, modeling insecurity, low self-worth and a pessimistic outlook when it comes time to body image, may imbue these exact traits that you yourself despise, which in turn may lead your child to denigrate oneself. In other words, children are impressionable. Remember that we are a combination of both our genetics and our environment, so, as banal as it might sound, "practice what you preach."

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