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Hey everyone :(, well im 20, it's nearly new year and what's that....yep still breaking out, god i despise my skin, i feel like an outsider now to absolutely everyone, the only time i can be myself is when i am by myself, i hate HATE my skin, nothing i do has any effect NOTHING, doctors dont give a shit, except from saying 'oh it will go away when you get older' about 2 years ago to me, nope its still here, and it makes it even worse when i see absolute idiots that i know able to enjoy their lives and eat whatever they want, go out every weekend, get drunk etc with no side effects, me, ive been out once this year with my friends, back in april, when sunbeds helped my acne, but after drinking that night BAM, acne everywhere again and its been that way for the following 8 months, i can't get rid of it, i hate myself, at work even my manager has noticed my confidence issues, to the point where she is wanting to send me on a confidence course, little do they know, nothing they can do will improve it, literally the only thing would be to clear my skin, i go to bed dreaming and wake up hoping of it, but somehow i don't deserve this one thing that everyone else seems to take for granted and not have to work for, god i hate this world, it's why although i wouldn't class myself as suicidal, through my struggles with acne i've learned that i'm not afraid of dying anymore like i used to be, i just see so much shit in this world that i don't give a fuck anymore, being nice gets you nowhere, karma.....ha ha ha a lot of shit, we are taught, be good and good things will happen to you, bulls**t, at 20 i have accepted the fact that i am probably going to be alone my whole life, living in my head, being on the outside looking in, seeing everyone else experience everything and never experiencing it myself, i find it hard to empathise with people now through my struggles as i simply don't give a shit about most people anymore, i hate that idiots and people that are just so stupid get to enjoy life and have clear skin yet i don't, i'm done with this shit, fuck my skin and fuck my life.

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All I can really say is that I understand completely. That's pretty much what I say to all of these threads--and I mean it. Honestly, sometimes I think we should all just move to an island and start a new society together.

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Dame man i know exactly what you mean. i don't fear death either, but i do want to stick around just to see were it all goes with humanity. they say that eventually we are all gona become robotic humans & full emerson virtual reality sounds unbelievabley fun, so im really waiting on those 2 things to happen. experts are saying singularity is well within our lifetime all that is really exciting to me. in lack of having a social life i have had time to think about meaningful things like this & im also a big fan of history we are just one player from a very old game called life my friends. i find that thought comforting. You can say i have a much more outside the box & the big picture type of view, for example i know that the money system is flawed due to the banks that is a non government organization FULLY controling the money flow, leading to unprecedented amount of corruption in government & society in general. leaving the average joe to try and work his way up the ladder all his life effectively eliminating true freedom because all anyone ever thinks about is money, instead of the real important things in life. many people die everyday even though we have enough food for everyone, in my personal opinion money is obsolete. lol how many closed minded think like i do =) few i bet

Edited by fatalbert911

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All I can really say is that I understand completely. That's pretty much what I say to all of these threads--and I mean it. Honestly, sometimes I think we should all just move to an island and start a new society together.

hahaha that would be so cool free from society's narrow minded views. id move there no dobt honestly it sounds like a lot of fun & there's nothing like being with your own kind, like one big family, free to be who you want Edited by fatalbert911

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If drinking alcohol makes you break out, strongly consider the fact that your acne is diet related. Mine was and for the longest time I thought it was hormonal. Yes it fucken sucks that we cant eat certain foods,etc etc but IF this is the cause for you, it is so worth it to find your triggers.

If you have gone the diet route, and I mean REALLY gone the diet route and tried eliminating certain foods, etc then this post will do you no good. But if you havent, I STRONGLY encourage you to try.

It saved my life. I don't think I would be here if I didn.t

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at 20 i have accepted the fact that i am probably going to be alone my whole life, living in my head, being on the outside looking in, seeing everyone else experience everything and never experiencing it myself

I know that feeling. That was basically how things somewhat were for me when I was depressed (not that I'm saying that because you feel the way you do you must be depressed too). Things are different now though. I don't live this life now which is INCREDIBLE and that I have THOUSANDS of friends but I'm way happier than I used to be.

i find it hard to empathise with people now through my struggles as i simply don't give a shit about most people anymore

I don't think highly of many myself. sad.png But there are also lots and lots of wonderful people out there too! I work in a hospital now and I e.g. find myself surrounded by really nice people there. ^_^ I also read this story in the news one time about how people saw a stranger who had fallen into water and they jumped in and brought him to the shore. Just another random example. =] haha I could go on but you get the idea.

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I agree on the island, anyone in Los Angeles can message me and we'll start planning haha, anyway I'm going through a similar thing were i just want to jump off a bridge because i can't enjoy anything in life anymore because of my acne it went from pretty controlled to full blown disgustingness in less than two months and that has killed my already low self esteem even more. But all i can say is, it'll get better, either your skin will get better or your life will. That's what I'm hoping for, for both you and me. So good luck i guess is all i can say and know that you're not alone c:

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People without acne may seem perfect, but they have flaws as well. Ours are just more pronounced. Forget about those people, 'living' it up. There is no point dwelling on other people when you can focus on yourself and what you love. It's good to rant about this stuff, to get it out of your head. Honestly, if people don't make an effort to be in your life, don't make an effort to be in theirs! Delete as much negativity from your life as you can. Go outside, listening to music and just free yourself from this materialistic/degrading/confusing world.

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