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Nyla

Possible That I Might Think I Look Better Than I Actually Do?

For the past few weeks I've been feeling like my skin has improved a lot. I still have scars and marks, but no active acne. But when I take pictures I look like a hideous monster, and today I went shopping and was HORRIFIED to see myself in the mirrors. I don't understand why I can look 100000 times worse in one lighting than in another. I know that you can look VASTLY different in different lighting, but I feel like I seem to have it worse. In some mirrors my skin looks fairly smooth, not flawless, but alright. Then in another mirror, my dark circles are 'nicely accentuated' and my face looks like a truck ran over it.

I know this is a very common problem that people go on and on about like a broken tape, but I just feel so hopeless. I've done everything I can to make my skin better and it still looks really blotchy sometimes. It seems like my skin has irreparable damage.. I just try so hard to feel good about myself and I wait and wait for the day when I can finally enjoy clear, scar-free skin.

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Maybe you could move on/let it go after you have accepted the fact that you'll never accept it? May sound silly but it makes sense to me. Anyway, I think ultimately everyone needs to work this stuff out on their own. But yeah...

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There is something called the placebo effect and it definitely applies to acne. Over the years I'd try random "solutions" for a few days and say, "yes, this is really working! Look how much better I look!" but when I would ask someone close to me (my Mom), there was not really a perceived positive change in my skin at all. It was pretty much just my optimistic PERSPECTIVE, that was enabling me to look at my skin in a better light, so to speak.

So for you- you might be doing the opposite when you go to stores or take photos of yourself. We are so critical of ourselves, and we nitpick every tiny mark and blemish on ourselves that the rest of the world literally never notices. Think about it, do you examine the face of others, especially up close and personally, when you see them passing by? No. So your focus on the negative aspects of your skin combined with your negative self-image is creating a picture or perception that is probably not realistic.

Try this: DON'T look in the mirror or take photos. Walk around with your head up high (posture improves mood) and smile for no reason when alone, because it wakes up serotonin in the brain. Tell yourself your skin IS improving, tell yourself you are strong, and focus on all the wonderful aspects of your day. I know its easier said than done, but its true: life is too short for us to be focusing on what we look like.

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Maybe you could move on/let it go after you have accepted the fact that you'll never accept it? May sound silly but it makes sense to me. Anyway, I think ultimately everyone needs to work this stuff out on their own. But yeah...

I was reading that first sentence just now and it sounds silly to me now. lol.gif I guess what I meant was that I think at any point in life you should strive to embrace your current situation and get on with things even though things might not be 100% how you'd like things to be ideally. There, that sounds better.

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For the past few weeks I've been feeling like my skin has improved a lot. I still have scars and marks, but no active acne. But when I take pictures I look like a hideous monster, and today I went shopping and was HORRIFIED to see myself in the mirrors. I don't understand why I can look 100000 times worse in one lighting than in another. I know that you can look VASTLY different in different lighting, but I feel like I seem to have it worse. In some mirrors my skin looks fairly smooth, not flawless, but alright. Then in another mirror, my dark circles are 'nicely accentuated' and my face looks like a truck ran over it.

I know this is a very common problem that people go on and on about like a broken tape, but I just feel so hopeless. I've done everything I can to make my skin better and it still looks really blotchy sometimes. It seems like my skin has irreparable damage.. I just try so hard to feel good about myself and I wait and wait for the day when I can finally enjoy clear, scar-free skin.

Yep. Varied mirrors and lighting. The nightmare of my existence. I've written a lot on here about how I clean houses and every one has different lighting in the bathroom. A few of them have this lighting that enhances the color red. It's a true nightmare. Every pale brown acne pigmentation on my skin (and there's a lot) looks like an active, inflamed zit in this lighting. It's caused me panic attacks many times in the past.

Think about it, do you examine the face of others, especially up close and personally, when you see them passing by? No.

I do, but if I wasn't completely insane I probably wouldn't. I agree that most normal people with normal skin do not.

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Maybe you are just more attuned with how you look now.

I'll tell you a funny story of my realization that happened only 1 week ago. So I'm 22 years old and have gone through my entire life considering myself quite the thin person. Note: I'm American. whistling.gif

I moved to Asia 1.5 years ago and suddenly was surrounded by thin people, but still saw myself as thin. However, I never heard so many people (men and women) talking about their weight/diets in my entire life. Naturally I began looking at my own weight more. I decided to lose some weight not because I felt I looked like I needed to, but because it seemed like a hobby of sorts.

So I go to the beach last summer, and as usual, the only concern I have is my acne. My boyfriend takes some photos of me and send the pics to me later.

So I'm going through life thinking I'm pretty thin still, when last week I am walking to the store to buy more candies and junk and see a girl infront of me who is overweight, but with TINY ankles. I think to myself, "Wow, her ankles are tiny, but she's overweight. I guess frame size really does exist". Dun Dun Dun.

I get home and decide to watch a movie. I come across one about females going on sex tourism vacations to Kenya -- sounded interesting enough. The main character is an overweight older woman who can only get sex by paying for it apparently. They often focus the cameras on her at the beach throughout the movie. Movie was alright. Get on the computer, and while looking for a new profile pic for Facebook, I think "What about those beach photos my boyfriend took? He must have some great ones of the two of us". Well, I couldn't believe my eyes. I look in the mirror beginning at my ankles. "No...No, it can't be." shake.gif My eyes move from ankle to ankle and up my calves and to my thighs -- then to my wrists. I'm not big-boned. I'm overweight. This is the thinnest I've ever been in my entire life, so for the first time I can't just call it "5 pounds" saywhat.gif My boyfriend took a photo of me when I was bending over to grab a shell, and I look reminiscent of the sad woman from the movie I had just watched as she bent over.

I've developed an attraction to overweight/bigger guys the past couple years, but I have to admit that I always wondered why it seemed I never got asked out by the skinny guys. lol.gif

My point is, it is obviously possible that despite looking in the mirror everyday, it can take a while to notice things. In my case, my entire life. teehee.gif

Edited by AcneFighta

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