I have no idea what to do. Just last year after doing so much research I've realized that what I do to myself is an actual disorder. I feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone, which is how I've been feeling all my life. I've started since I was in grade 8.
This has affected me so much. I couldn't join sports teams, go swimming, go camping, do climbs, hit the gym, walk around my house with no makeup on, be spontaneous, anything. I still can't. My skin and this disorder controls my life. I need help. I am so sick of hiding behind this mask that my insecurities force myself to paint on everyday. My mom always yells at me for wearing makeup (she thinks thats the cause of my bad skin, but its actually my disorder). No one gets me.
My skin has been getting better, I don't pick as much anymore since I'm really trying hard not to. I have also been doing coffee enema and some new skin products which has helped me a lot!! It's still there, but its getting better. My problem is that.. I've finally found a man who really cares about me genuinely. I care about him so deeply too, its my first time falling in love. I really see myself marrying him and us just having a future together, we've discussed it too. I come over often so we practically live together, its just I've never spent the night and he's never seen me without my makeup on. I know you guys are all going to tell me to talk to him about it but its so hard. He always tells me how I look so beautiful, and how other girls look so different or ugly without makeup on compared to when they have their full face makeup on. I guess he can't tell how bad my skin is.. (over 5 years of practice putting it on right, blending, etc, so it looks more natural). It's so bad I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
He never really cared about how I wore makeup all the time, but recently he has asked me if I always wear makeup at home and how he's curious about how I look without it. Sigh. It doesn't help that he has perfect skin and so does the rest of his family. They really care about how people should always take care of themselves, health, body, and skin wise. He and his family has this image standard that I can't live up to.. I look really beautiful with makeup on, but without it I'm a whole different person. Typing all this out just makes me ball out in tears. I'm so scared he wont look at me the same anymore and eventually leave me. I feel like I cheated him by not showing him how I really look like in the begining. I feel so guilty for having this disorder, no one around me understands why i feel this way. Sigh. He wants to take me out on a 4 day road trip in two weeks as well. I just don't know what to do anymore, i'm so afraid I can't be happy, have a boyfriend or eventually be married. I'm trying to fix this but the scars don't just fade overnight, it takes time.. A lot of time 
I feel like running away, I just have no idea what to do 
Just tell him that you have scars, tell him as much as you can before showing your skin without make up. At least you'll find out if he's the right guy in your life. If he leaves of you because of bad skin, he's not worth it. Nobody is perfect anyways.. he should know that. Have fun and good luck!
Have you tried talking to a professional (therapist) about this? They are safe to talk with, because while they aren't directly involved in your life (which is good because they will not give you biased opinions), and their job is to use their techniques to help you get through emotional upset. It sounds like you're pretty anxious about this to the point of it possibly ruining the quality of life for you. I HIGHLY recommend seeing someone who is trained to teach you ways of coping and will help you mentally and emotionally work through this so you don't have to do it alone. So many people in the world see therapists and some would never know what to do wihout them! Best of luck!!
Oh honey I totally understand waht you're going through. Except in my case it was my husband I was afraid to talk to. Ridiculous, right? Everytime I went to tell him about my skin and how I felt, it was like I was jumping off a cliff. Finally, I just said something to him in the middle of the night, in the dark bedroom and he was so sweet and supportive, and has been ever since. I'm still dealing with this anxiety, but opening up to him was a huge step forward for me. My suggestion is to just do it no matter how afraid you are. You have to ask yourself, "can I live the rest of my life like this?" If the answer is no, you just have to say something. If he is worth it, he will be understanding. The hiding makes it so much more stressful and opening up will actually feel good when you do.
I understand how you feel, and this is one of the reasons I don't often wear makeup any longer. Basically the same thing would happen to me. People would see me with it, and I would then be scared for them to see the "shock" of what I look like without it.
After a while, with various boyfriends and stuff, I just let them see me without it and if it helps, they never even seemed to notice any change. I'm not sure if this is an indicator that I looked better than I thought I did or that the makeup didn't really cover that much in the first place, lol. 
I do think either way, guys don't care very much about girls having perfect skin. The only guys I've ever heard comment on girls having acne were complete and total rotten twat-buckets, honestly.
Think of it as a test. If this is really the man you're going to marry, he won't care and in fact, he will likely say you're better without makeup. Most of my boyfriends have liked me better all natural, including during times I was VERY broken out. In fact, one time I was dating this guy and had usually worn makeup around him but one day I was really broken out and didn't want to hurt my skin with makeup so I left it off. We ended up having people over and at first I was having a panic attack alone in the bedroom thinking about them seeing me but then I decided to just have some beers (I still drank back then) and not care. It ended up being a fun night and of course no one cared. Later the guy I was dating was like "What's different about you tonight? You looked so sexy and everyone said you were pretty!" And I was like WTF are you talking about, my face is covered in acne and I wasn't wearing makeup. And he was like "Yeah, but you didn't seem self conscious you were just laughing and having fun and that's so cool."
So there you go. I think guys seriously don't care about acne. I say, take your makeup off, let your emotions out and explain to your guy what you've been going through with breakouts and picking at your skin, Explain that it's a serious problem you're working through. Let it all out with him, cry about it if you have to. Give him the opportunity to be there for you. His reaction should be a pretty good indicator if he's the guy you want to marry or not.
Just tell him that you have scars, tell him as much as you can before showing your skin without make up. At least you'll find out if he's the right guy in your life. If he leaves of you because of bad skin, he's not worth it. Nobody is perfect anyways.. he should know that. Have fun and good luck!
agreed. just explain to him that your skin is your biggest insecurity, pretty much all girls have some sort of self-confidence problem, so im sure he would understand. it seems like he kind of knows (at least to me) when he says he wonders what you look like without makeup hes trying to get you to open up to him about it? i think. haha. and yeah if he leaves you because of that, its better now than later, right? but he sounds pretty nice it doesnt seem like he would. good luck!
I know that it is hard but I think that you should just be totally honest with your boyfriend and tell him all about your acne and more importantly, the insecurity that it causes. If he loves you, I`m sure that it will not make one iota of difference to him and he will support and help you. If it does by any chance change his perception of you then maybe he is not the man for you.
On a more general theme, have you considered counselling or any other form of therapy? Don`t mean to sound harsh but it seems as though the acne you have is controlling you and defining you as a person. Talking to someone or having some form of therapy may help you learn to accept and like yourself and challenge the negative perceptions that you have of yourself. I know from personal experience that insecurity can be destructive so if you can do something about it, it may help the quality of both your current relationship and your life in general.
Whatever you decide to do - good luck, I hope things work out for you.
If somebody leaves you or berrates you for your skin then heck, it's been a lucky escape. If he loves you enough to marry you then he'll still love you without makeup on.
My first ex told me it was weird how I'd wear makeup in the house when he was there. He had very severe acne and I was clear at the time, but I couldn't stand for him to see me with a plain face because he was so judgemental. He told me he hated fake girls then stressed how great women with makeup on looked. He wasn't right for me at all.
My second ex took my makeup off for me when I was curled up in his bed, crying because I was in a lot of pain from a physical problem and because I didn't want to go to sleep with makeup on. All he cared about was not wiping it off too roughly and hurting me. At that time I had a pretty bad breakout. And I still love him to this day.
It's all about finding out who's right for you. Maybe your current boyfriend is the one, maybe not. Life is a learning experience.
you bring up his family, and personally i think that for right now ...it's just you and him. don't worry about what they think right now. that's going to bring you more stress.
i can relate to some of your feelings because i wear makeup all the time. i don't feel guilty. it's one of my passions.
my advice is to wear less and less makeup when he's around. if he leaves you, then you know what he was really there for.
I'm having a similar problem too, i haven't showed my boyfriend my actual skin, it was always with make up on and recently, i don't know why but I've been breaking out really really bad, its the worst its been and make up is not doing the trick anymore, and I'm seeing him tomorrow and we haven't seen each other in like two weeks and my face is alot worse than the last time i saw him and I'm kind of afraid of what he'll say. He's usually very sweet and knows i have alot of insecurities and has always been supportive but for some reason i think this time it'll be different but anyways like other people have already said this might be a good thing, i heard someone say like acne is a blessing because nice people won't mind and it fends off all the douches lol so if he doesn't mind it which idk but I'm sure he won't then he's a real keeper haha but if not then he totally wasn't worth it, so good luck to you <3 I'm sure things will be fine
Wow, I'm dealing with the exact same thing. My boyfriend always complains about breaking out when it's only a pimple or two at a time. I have acne scars on my cheeks and he's only seen me without makeup once, which was after I got my wisdom teeth out and the medicine really helped clear me up. Anyway, last night we were talking and he says "Wow, once this skin problem of yours goes away then you'll be perfect. You'll be beautiful." He might have meant it as a compliment, but god it hurt. We've been together for nearly 2 1/2 years now and I'm surprised he would say something like that. All day I've been obsessively searching for spot treatments. The sad thing is, my skin isn't even that terrible at the moment! I only have a couple of zits on my cheek. I'm just afraid that if he thinks my skin is a problem now with makeup on, he won't even consider me attractive once he see's my natural skin. We'll be going on a trip in a few months with his family and I might have to share a condo with them. I just hope my skin will be clear. It's very unpredictable, and him pointing it out (which he's done several times, especially at school) just makes me feel so insecure.
Thanks everyone for taking your time to write something really worth reading 
I slowly started to wear less and less makeup! Id go out with him without blush, mascara, bronzer, and mascara. I'd be so insecure but he'd tell me I look the same and doesn't understand why I feel so weird -.-" One time we got into an argument and he caught me crying, the tears wiped off all my eyeliner and most of my face makeup. After everything settled down he said I still look good.. Maybe it was because my skin has gotten a lot better but still! So.. We went on our weekend getaway and Id go to bed with parts of my face covered with a moisture mask/cream thing. He really didn't care about it either! He'd wake up kissing me and bugging me when I looked like a half ass zombie! I asked him why does he still find me attractive when i look my worse(messy hair, no makeup on, cream mask, etc), and he told me all that doesn't matter because it's still me underneath. That weekend he also told me that he loves me and wants to marry me.. Wow. What a weekend. You guys are right, if he's the right guy and if he truly loves me, nothing els like all my insecurities matter.
Thank you all so much again for your input and support, I wish you guys all the best of luck in everything <3
Wow, I'm dealing with the exact same thing. My boyfriend always complains about breaking out when it's only a pimple or two at a time. I have acne scars on my cheeks and he's only seen me without makeup once, which was after I got my wisdom teeth out and the medicine really helped clear me up. Anyway, last night we were talking and he says "Wow, once this skin problem of yours goes away then you'll be perfect. You'll be beautiful." He might have meant it as a compliment, but god it hurt. We've been together for nearly 2 1/2 years now and I'm surprised he would say something like that. All day I've been obsessively searching for spot treatments. The sad thing is, my skin isn't even that terrible at the moment! I only have a couple of zits on my cheek. I'm just afraid that if he thinks my skin is a problem now with makeup on, he won't even consider me attractive once he see's my natural skin. We'll be going on a trip in a few months with his family and I might have to share a condo with them. I just hope my skin will be clear. It's very unpredictable, and him pointing it out (which he's done several times, especially at school) just makes me feel so insecure.
Wtf. There isn't a guy on this planet who shouldn't know better than to say something like that to his girl. What the hell is wrong with him?
I guess in a relationship, its doesn't matter of your appearance why does the guy like you in the first place? appearance? or your inner-self? guess afterall love,trust & honesty is what it needs for a relationship.
Even if my girlfriend have acne problem i would ask her to seek treatment and look on the bright side.
My boyfriend had no idea about my bacne cause I was always covered up abd he thought I was self consious of my boobs lol... So I let him think that to get off my case... Made it worse once when he said "I always see ppl at the gym with pimples all over there back looks yuck!" I cried inside ... A few months later i got so depressed I couldn't have showers with him or let him see me naked that one day I started crying and blurted it out to him. He told me I'm beautiful, that it'll go away etc all these nice things that felt like a huge load was off my back (wish it was the acne lol) so now he understands why sometimes I want the lights off and thank god in the summer time I know it's bad but I tann the fuck out my back and it clears up an I can be naked in frot of him ! Haha... If he really loved you he wouldn't give a fuk about ur acne he wouldn't even notice because when you love someone there flaws become invisible!