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Ribbonettes

Help! Is My Boyfriend Not Attracted To Me Without Make-Up On?!

I’m starting to think my boyfriend is only with me for my looks…

Heres a little info:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years. After the first year I suffered a moderate breakout that would leave red marks all over my face (I have light colored skin) and would have small annoying bumps all over all the time. Considering I live in Kauai, I never leave the house without make-up on because the sunlight will just show all my marks. During the time I would breakout badly I would always cake on make-up so no one can see my redness. But sometimes I would have my good days and go to my boyfriend’s house at night without make-up. He always stares at my face and says “wow you look really different..” and its always awkward. Or he would say “oh you must be really stressed out” *proactive commercial comes on* He says, “Maybe the dark spot corrector will erase your spots” : P

He even has said to me that no guy will ever talk to me without make-up on. (Which is probably true) ugh. And my skin isn’t even as bad as it was before… I’m about 96% clear with some minor fading red marks. And my boyfriend’s skin looks better than mine and he never eats fruit or vegetables and eats nothing but junk! DX He doesn’t even know how much I do to keep my skin looking semi decent..

Anyways back to the issue. I’m just afraid that he is only with me because of the way I look. When he met me I was completely clear had such perfect skin and didn’t even wear face make-up on our first few dates. He would always tell me I’m pretty, sexy, the most best looking person in the world, etc.. but sometimes we fight like any other couple and recently he has called me incredibly stupid. He says that I won’t get far in life and will barely make any money compared to what he can do /: Which sadly might be true because I’m a hairstylist who just got a part time job at the salon. And I spend a lot of money on quality/organic food for my skin issues… shipping in Hawaii is hella expensive : P

So I asked him why are you with a ‘stupid’ girl? He said, “Its because your pretty. Most smart girls are fat and ugly. The smart and pretty ones are already married..” My reaction was wow… okay… “So you’re basically with me because of my looks? What if I start to look ugly in the future?”

He obviously thinks im a idiot and never gives me “you’re pretty comments” when I’m not wearing make-up.

I guess another reason why he is also with me is because we made a commitment to always stay together and never cheat.. He likes the feeling of security.

But I don’t want to move in with him / get married if he is going to not like me on my bad skin days… He hasn't even seen me at my worst.. Last time he saw me without make-up I only had 3-4 bright red marks and he still said something.. *While staring at my face* "Oh you don't look THAT bad..."

I try to be as healthy as I can and be clear, but just the thought of him not wanting to be with me if I had severe acne is just kinda disappointing… A lot of guys I have been with have such high standards its so crazy. A couple of my exes haven’t even found a new girlfriend yet even though they're pretty desperate because they’re looking for someone incredibly attractive. Most of those girls are already taken...

I need some advice from you guys... Why are so many guys like this? What the heck is a girl like me suppose to do? I just feel a little disturbed. Wish it wasn’t all about looks, but it seems like it is. oh and btw I'm 19 and my bf is 22

Edited by Ribbonettes

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Not all the guys are the same , but there's defenetly someting wrong with this one.

There are so many good guys out there dear,I know it's hard to even think about leaveing him since u were together for 2 years but..it's not worth it.

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I think if you are having these doubts then you need to reconsider being with him. There are boys who will love you even with bad skin. I hate not wearing make-up with my bf, but I know he doesnt care, he'll say things like 'Its not that bad' 'but it takes you sooo long to do your makeup and I want to have fun' and most of the time not even seem to notice.

Also everyone is good at something that another person isnt. My ex bf probably never would have earned the same amount of money as me for being 'smart' but he had unparalleled people skills. So no-one should call you stupid like that.

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If you're feeling uncomfortable in the relationship then in my opinion it would be best to leave. I don't think it's worth it.

He should love you for who you are. Who cares if you have acne or look better with makeup (which is what makeup is for)!? - it shouldn't be an issue for him, but for some reason it is. If the only reason someone is with you is because of your looks, or if having acne is an issue for him, then I don't think that they are worth your time.

That isn't fair to you. You deserve more than that!!

I hope you work it out.

Good luck with it all. :)

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I'm sorry but he sounds like a douche.

He sounds shallow and materialistic. Money isn't everything nor are looks. An horrible personality can spoil a beautiful face.

My advice. You can do better. Trust me when i say there are guys out there who will be with you for you and not just how you look. This is guy sounds immerture and displaying signs of massive insecurity himself if he is saying these things to you.

He is making himself feel better by verbally beating you down. I wouldn't classify him as a man as real man wouldnt say that about his girlfriend.

Edited by TakeToTheSkies

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I kind of agree with your boyfriend. Acne is understandable if theres good reason for it, almost everyone has had at least minor breakouts, but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained.

Anyway as a kid I imagined Hawaii a tropical paradise and I always dreamt of living there. You say youre pretty, youve got work, youve got something going for you. Theres a lot of useful information on this website about how to deal with acne: Youre in the right place. Good luck.

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I kind of agree with your boyfriend. Acne is understandable if theres good reason for it, almost everyone has had at least minor breakouts, but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained.

Anyway as a kid I imagined Hawaii a tropical paradise and I always dreamt of living there. You say youre pretty, youve got work, youve got something going for you. Theres a lot of useful information on this website about how to deal with acne: Youre in the right place. Good luck.

You can't be serious?

I'll ask you this.

Lets say you got a girlfriend and fell in love with her. All of a sudden she got acne, would u stop loving her?

Whilst agree physical attraction is part of the equation it's not the biggest part.

Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

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I kind of agree with your boyfriend. Acne is understandable if theres good reason for it, almost everyone has had at least minor breakouts, but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained.

Anyway as a kid I imagined Hawaii a tropical paradise and I always dreamt of living there. You say youre pretty, youve got work, youve got something going for you. Theres a lot of useful information on this website about how to deal with acne: Youre in the right place. Good luck.

You know, I agree that perhaps some people will find those who have acne not very attractive. That is why I wouldn't dare to show my face to him is it was really bad, but it isn't. Even if I get a couple breakouts or have red marks that are unflattering I still want to be treated the same way. I am doing everything in my power: spending lots of money so i can eat the best foods everyday, taking care of my body, becoming healthier, doing research, exercising, improving skincare.. I've pretty much become obsessed with my health and lifestyle just so I can have clearer skin. I believe a boyfriend should still treat the girl the same way if she is doing everything in her power to fix the problem.

And Hawaii isn't all that cracked up like they make it sound... its really boring here, there is nothing to do, not enough jobs, too many people on one little island...

and most of all, everything is so effing expensive. The food, the gas, the prices to even live decently... a lot of my friends are moving to the mainland becuase its not worth it.

I'm sorry but he sounds like a douche.

He sounds shallow and materialistic. Money isn't everything nor are looks. An horrible personality can spoil a beautiful face.

My advice. You can do better. Trust me when i say there are guys out there who will be with you for you and not just how you look. This is guy sounds immerture and displaying signs of massive insecurity himself if he is saying these things to you.

He is making himself feel better by verbally beating you down. I wouldn't classify him as a man as real man wouldnt say that about his girlfriend.

Thank you for your post.

I do feel like he is immature sometimes.. he might be smarter when it comes to books, but when it comes to acting his age not so much...

he does take great care of me by providing everything I need and supporting me, but like you said, he is shallow and that makes me uncomfortable..

I told him that I accept the fact that he thinks I'm a retard and he said, "oh you're not that stupid.. you're not as stupid as so-and-so" /:

Its just all so confusing... He tells me to have more self esteem, but how can I when he tells me all these things...

Edited by Ribbonettes

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I kind of agree with your boyfriend. Acne is understandable if theres good reason for it, almost everyone has had at least minor breakouts, but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained.

Anyway as a kid I imagined Hawaii a tropical paradise and I always dreamt of living there. You say youre pretty, youve got work, youve got something going for you. Theres a lot of useful information on this website about how to deal with acne: Youre in the right place. Good luck.

You know, I agree that perhaps some people will find those who have acne not very attractive. That is why I wouldn't dare to show my face to him is it was really bad, but it isn't. Even if I get a couple breakouts or have red marks that are unflattering I still want to be treated the same way. I am doing everything in my power: spending lots of money so i can eat the best foods everyday, taking care of my body, becoming healthier, doing research, exercising, improving skincare.. I've pretty much become obsessed with my health and lifestyle just so I can have clearer skin. I believe a boyfriend should still treat the girl the same way if she is doing everything in her power to fix the problem.

And Hawaii isn't all that cracked up like they make it sound... its really boring here, there is nothing to do, not enough jobs, too many people on one little island...

and most of all, everything is so effing expensive. The food, the gas, the prices to even live decently... a lot of my friends are moving to the mainland becuase its not worth it.

I'm sorry but he sounds like a douche.

He sounds shallow and materialistic. Money isn't everything nor are looks. An horrible personality can spoil a beautiful face.

My advice. You can do better. Trust me when i say there are guys out there who will be with you for you and not just how you look. This is guy sounds immerture and displaying signs of massive insecurity himself if he is saying these things to you.

He is making himself feel better by verbally beating you down. I wouldn't classify him as a man as real man wouldnt say that about his girlfriend.

Thank you for your post.

I do feel like he is immature sometimes.. he might be smarter when it comes to books, but when it comes to acting his age not so much...

he does take great care of me by providing everything I need and supporting me, but like you said, he is shallow and that makes me uncomfortable..

I told him that I accept the fact that he thinks I'm a retard and he said, "oh you're not that stupid.. you're not as stupid as so-and-so" /:

Its just all so confusing... He tells me to have more self esteem, but how can I when he tells me all these things...

Never settle for second best. This guy is second best. You are better than that.

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I agree with the above poster. It sounds like he's not good enough for you - not the other way around. He may be good-looking and smart, but he's clearly a long way off being wise and kind, which are far more important traits in a person. You can do better.

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Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

lol.gif I'm sure there's a lot of vain girls who've let their looks get to their heads but let's be cautious that we don't generalize. smile.png There are also plenty of women who are generally considered "pretty" but who also have great personalities. amused.gif I'm obviously not reinventing the wheel here but I just felt the need to stand up for the pretty girls who do behave. tongue.png

Btw, isn't douche bag only meant for males? :think: I'm gonna Google that. =]

I agree with the above poster. It sounds like he's not good enough for you - not the other way around. He may be good-looking and smart, but he's clearly a long way off being wise and kind, which are far more important traits in a person. You can do better.

Awesome post.

Maturity, ftw! Woohoo! cheer.gif

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Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

lol.gif I'm sure there's a lot of vain girls who've let their looks get to their heads but let's be cautious that we don't generalize. smile.png There are also plenty of women who are generally considered "pretty" but who also have great personalities. amused.gif I'm obviously not reinventing the wheel here but I just felt the need to stand up for the pretty girls who do behave. tongue.png

Btw, isn't douche bag only meant for males? eusa_think.gif I'm gonna Google that. sideways.gif

I agree with the above poster. It sounds like he's not good enough for you - not the other way around. He may be good-looking and smart, but he's clearly a long way off being wise and kind, which are far more important traits in a person. You can do better.

Awesome post.

Maturity, ftw! Woohoo! cheer.gif

lol

Was never my intention to generalize, just the girls ive dated. Whats that say about me? Do i go after shallow girls because im shallow myself??? lol

Nah, im not shallow, there have been times my manhood done the thinking for me and i went for the wrong girls. Thankfully i grew up and found a girl who is right for me.

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Agree with the positive posts and not settling for a jerk. It's hard for some to believe but the measure of a person isn't in the looks... ultimately it's the caring and character. Not all pretty people are shallow... but to judge a person solely on appearance is a mistake.

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Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

lol.gif I'm sure there's a lot of vain girls who've let their looks get to their heads but let's be cautious that we don't generalize. smile.png There are also plenty of women who are generally considered "pretty" but who also have great personalities. amused.gif I'm obviously not reinventing the wheel here but I just felt the need to stand up for the pretty girls who do behave. tongue.png

lol

Was never my intention to generalize, just the girls ive dated. Whats that say about me? Do i go after shallow girls because im shallow myself??? lol

Nah, im not shallow, there have been times my manhood done the thinking for me and i went for the wrong girls. Thankfully i grew up and found a girl who is right for me.

That's cool that you found someone who's right for you. I'm very happy for you. amused.gif

I've approached women who weren't right for me in the past. It wasn't because my manhood did the thinking though. It was a "love is blind" kind of thing. I posted about that before a few times. Keeping one's feet on the ground is pretty important, I have to say.

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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Your boyfriend sounds like an idiot, and honestly, unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you about not being successful and being ugly. Even then, it is just mean, and it's not even the truth...so what if you have acne, that doesn't stop you from earning money or having a good job? And having acne doesn't mean you don't have nice facial features or hair, or whatever.

I hope you dump him, I really do.

If you have this problem with all the guys you've been with, I think you are going for the wrong candidates.

Though on a sidenote, saying that most 'beautiful' people are ugly on the inside is just as much of a horrible thing to say that 'ugly' people should be treated accordingly...just as offensive! Not all attractive people are vain and big-headed and shallow. It's a sweeping and shallow generalisation, ironically, because you are still judging someone by their looks, just as if you were to say the same about someone not as attractive. Besides, neither 'ugly' or 'beautiful' can help the body proportions and facial characteristics they were born with.

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I kind of agree with your boyfriend. Acne is understandable if theres good reason for it, almost everyone has had at least minor breakouts, but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained.

Anyway as a kid I imagined Hawaii a tropical paradise and I always dreamt of living there. You say youre pretty, youve got work, youve got something going for you. Theres a lot of useful information on this website about how to deal with acne: Youre in the right place. Good luck.

^If you can't justify or correct why you're breaking out it's just not sexy??? Wow I failing to see your point here...

This girl is obviously doing everything in her power to help her skin.. and from the way it sounds her bf is unsupportive and a semi jerk from the description given.

Acne can be the most frustrating problem to have because it can take years to figure out what's causing it.

She didn't come here to get more flak- but support. if she wanted to get shot down she could have just called up her bf.

Ribbon, there are MUCH better guys out there. I'm not saying dump your boy (obviously we don't have all the facts like you do) but from the way you've described him he prob needs to go. And just keep in mind He DOES NOT represent the whole of mankind.

I wish you the very best and I hope you get to the bottom of your acne situation asap!

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Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

lol.gif I'm sure there's a lot of vain girls who've let their looks get to their heads but let's be cautious that we don't generalize. smile.png There are also plenty of women who are generally considered "pretty" but who also have great personalities. amused.gif I'm obviously not reinventing the wheel here but I just felt the need to stand up for the pretty girls who do behave. tongue.png

lol

Was never my intention to generalize, just the girls ive dated. Whats that say about me? Do i go after shallow girls because im shallow myself??? lol

Nah, im not shallow, there have been times my manhood done the thinking for me and i went for the wrong girls. Thankfully i grew up and found a girl who is right for me.

That's cool that you found someone who's right for you. I'm very happy for you. amused.gif

I've approached women who weren't right for me in the past. It wasn't because my manhood did the thinking though. It was a "love is blind" kind of thing. I posted about that before a few times. Keeping one's feet on the ground is pretty important, I have to say.

Yes very true. Certainly been down that road.

My ex done a real number on me and i was so into her. I chose to ignore the warning signs from that start, as in i knew it wouldn't go anywhere but i think thats what made it exciting. I like a challenge lol

I think everyone has that one person where we have that attraction and just can't explain why, even though we know they could be bad for us.

Your boyfriend sounds like an idiot, and honestly, unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you about not being successful and being ugly. Even then, it is just mean, and it's not even the truth...so what if you have acne, that doesn't stop you from earning money or having a good job? And having acne doesn't mean you don't have nice facial features or hair, or whatever.

I hope you dump him, I really do.

If you have this problem with all the guys you've been with, I think you are going for the wrong candidates.

Though on a sidenote, saying that most 'beautiful' people are ugly on the inside is just as much of a horrible thing to say that 'ugly' people should be treated accordingly...just as offensive! Not all attractive people are vain and big-headed and shallow. It's a sweeping and shallow generalisation, ironically, because you are still judging someone by their looks, just as if you were to say the same about someone not as attractive. Besides, neither 'ugly' or 'beautiful' can help the body proportions and facial characteristics they were born with.

"unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you"

Even if he was he still wouldn't have the right to do that. What makes him any more superior to anyone else? Money or looks does not define a good person nor does it make that said person any better than anyone else.

Treat people how you want to be treated

Just to address your side note.

My apologies. I wasn't generalizing. I did specify "the girls i have dated" not in general. You're right in saying that such comments are just as bad.

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this post is making me angry bc your boyfriend is very disrespectful, and i've met my share of guys like him who walk around thinking they are hott shit, when in reality they prob don't have an ounce of TRUE confidence within themselves.

you don't deserve what he says to you, and how he treats you. don't allow yourself to be belittled, and told that you are stupid. find a good man. i can't believe i'm saying this bc of how many fuckers i've met..but they are out there. lol

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this post is making me angry bc your boyfriend is very disrespectful, and i've met my share of guys like him who walk around thinking they are hott shit, when in reality they prob don't have an ounce of TRUE confidence within themselves.

you don't deserve what he says to you, and how he treats you. don't allow yourself to be belittled, and told that you are stupid. find a good man. i can't believe i'm saying this bc of how many fuckers i've met..but they are out there. lol

Totally agree.

It works both ways for men and women.

I am amazed the amount of toxic relationships i observe and these people say they are happy.

Two friends of mine who are in a relationship always abuse each other verbally. I asked them why they do it? Their response

"what do you mean we don't hit each other"

Tried explaining to them that verbal abuse is just as bad but they didn't get it.

It's born purely out of insecurity. Hurting someone to make themselves feel better. No one should ever have to settle for second best. If that means going through a lot of break ups then that is what needs to be done.

Edited by TakeToTheSkies

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I kind of agree with your boyfriend. Acne is understandable if theres good reason for it, almost everyone has had at least minor breakouts, but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained.

Anyway as a kid I imagined Hawaii a tropical paradise and I always dreamt of living there. You say youre pretty, youve got work, youve got something going for you. Theres a lot of useful information on this website about how to deal with acne: Youre in the right place. Good luck.

What the hell does this even mean?!

"but if you cant justify nor correct why youre getting breakouts then its just not sexy. For me acne is really simple; sure Ive had it often enough but Ive always either dealt with it/not cared/not complained."

What does you not caring/not complaining about your acne have anything to do with anything? I am confused raelly

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Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

lol.gif I'm sure there's a lot of vain girls who've let their looks get to their heads but let's be cautious that we don't generalize. smile.png There are also plenty of women who are generally considered "pretty" but who also have great personalities. amused.gif I'm obviously not reinventing the wheel here but I just felt the need to stand up for the pretty girls who do behave. tongue.png

lol

Was never my intention to generalize, just the girls ive dated. Whats that say about me? Do i go after shallow girls because im shallow myself??? lol

Nah, im not shallow, there have been times my manhood done the thinking for me and i went for the wrong girls. Thankfully i grew up and found a girl who is right for me.

That's cool that you found someone who's right for you. I'm very happy for you. amused.gif

I've approached women who weren't right for me in the past. It wasn't because my manhood did the thinking though. It was a "love is blind" kind of thing. I posted about that before a few times. Keeping one's feet on the ground is pretty important, I have to say.

Yes very true. Certainly been down that road.

My ex done a real number on me and i was so into her. I chose to ignore the warning signs from that start, as in i knew it wouldn't go anywhere but i think thats what made it exciting. I like a challenge lol

I think everyone has that one person where we have that attraction and just can't explain why, even though we know they could be bad for us.

Your boyfriend sounds like an idiot, and honestly, unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you about not being successful and being ugly. Even then, it is just mean, and it's not even the truth...so what if you have acne, that doesn't stop you from earning money or having a good job? And having acne doesn't mean you don't have nice facial features or hair, or whatever.

I hope you dump him, I really do.

If you have this problem with all the guys you've been with, I think you are going for the wrong candidates.

Though on a sidenote, saying that most 'beautiful' people are ugly on the inside is just as much of a horrible thing to say that 'ugly' people should be treated accordingly...just as offensive! Not all attractive people are vain and big-headed and shallow. It's a sweeping and shallow generalisation, ironically, because you are still judging someone by their looks, just as if you were to say the same about someone not as attractive. Besides, neither 'ugly' or 'beautiful' can help the body proportions and facial characteristics they were born with.

"unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you"

Even if he was he still wouldn't have the right to do that. What makes him any more superior to anyone else? Money or looks does not define a good person nor does it make that said person any better than anyone else.

Treat people how you want to be treated

Just to address your side note.

My apologies. I wasn't generalizing. I did specify "the girls i have dated" not in general. You're right in saying that such comments are just as bad.

I wasn't offended, I just pointed it out that people often like to jump to conclusions, sometimes because of their jealousy, it's the same with skinny bashing...people think it's okay to offend skinny people but God forbid you call someone fat, then you're the worst person ever...like you can say to someone 'you're so skinny you look like you're on your deathbed' but if you said to someone fat 'you're so fat you can't fit through the door' 99% of people would take the moral high ground that you can't say things like that because it's offensive and politically incorrect.

I think you misunderstood what I said there...I mean that even if her boyfriend was perfect in every way, he'd still be mean saying things like that to her, but what annoys me really is when average looking guys try to bring down their girlfriends by calling them ugly, and let's face the truth, an average looking man is more likely to score with a beautiful woman than an average woman with a very handsome man. So, a man will often try to destroy his girlfriend's/wife's self-esteem so she doesn't think she can do better...I've seen this happen a million times and I'm quite sure that this is what's happening here as well.

Obviously beauty is still objective, what I mean is, that shallow people often go for someone prettier than themselves, and if they sense their other half pulling away, they'll do and say anything to keep them. An often used tactic is to make them doubt their looks and make them believe they'll never find another man/woman who will love them like they do, when in fact they don't even love them...

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Not blow my own trumpet, i've dated some absolute stunning women and you know what? Most of them were douche bags. The more "average" looking girls have my more personality, that is to say the ones i have dated.

lol.gif I'm sure there's a lot of vain girls who've let their looks get to their heads but let's be cautious that we don't generalize. smile.png There are also plenty of women who are generally considered "pretty" but who also have great personalities. amused.gif I'm obviously not reinventing the wheel here but I just felt the need to stand up for the pretty girls who do behave. tongue.png

lol

Was never my intention to generalize, just the girls ive dated. Whats that say about me? Do i go after shallow girls because im shallow myself??? lol

Nah, im not shallow, there have been times my manhood done the thinking for me and i went for the wrong girls. Thankfully i grew up and found a girl who is right for me.

That's cool that you found someone who's right for you. I'm very happy for you. amused.gif

I've approached women who weren't right for me in the past. It wasn't because my manhood did the thinking though. It was a "love is blind" kind of thing. I posted about that before a few times. Keeping one's feet on the ground is pretty important, I have to say.

Yes very true. Certainly been down that road.

My ex done a real number on me and i was so into her. I chose to ignore the warning signs from that start, as in i knew it wouldn't go anywhere but i think thats what made it exciting. I like a challenge lol

I think everyone has that one person where we have that attraction and just can't explain why, even though we know they could be bad for us.

Your boyfriend sounds like an idiot, and honestly, unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you about not being successful and being ugly. Even then, it is just mean, and it's not even the truth...so what if you have acne, that doesn't stop you from earning money or having a good job? And having acne doesn't mean you don't have nice facial features or hair, or whatever.

I hope you dump him, I really do.

If you have this problem with all the guys you've been with, I think you are going for the wrong candidates.

Though on a sidenote, saying that most 'beautiful' people are ugly on the inside is just as much of a horrible thing to say that 'ugly' people should be treated accordingly...just as offensive! Not all attractive people are vain and big-headed and shallow. It's a sweeping and shallow generalisation, ironically, because you are still judging someone by their looks, just as if you were to say the same about someone not as attractive. Besides, neither 'ugly' or 'beautiful' can help the body proportions and facial characteristics they were born with.

"unless he is a millionaire with a perfect body and face, he has no ground to stand on saying that kind of crap to you"

Even if he was he still wouldn't have the right to do that. What makes him any more superior to anyone else? Money or looks does not define a good person nor does it make that said person any better than anyone else.

Treat people how you want to be treated

Just to address your side note.

My apologies. I wasn't generalizing. I did specify "the girls i have dated" not in general. You're right in saying that such comments are just as bad.

I wasn't offended, I just pointed it out that people often like to jump to conclusions, sometimes because of their jealousy, it's the same with skinny bashing...people think it's okay to offend skinny people but God forbid you call someone fat, then you're the worst person ever...like you can say to someone 'you're so skinny you look like you're on your deathbed' but if you said to someone fat 'you're so fat you can't fit through the door' 99% of people would take the moral high ground that you can't say things like that because it's offensive and politically incorrect.

I think you misunderstood what I said there...I mean that even if her boyfriend was perfect in every way, he'd still be mean saying things like that to her, but what annoys me really is when average looking guys try to bring down their girlfriends by calling them ugly, and let's face the truth, an average looking man is more likely to score with a beautiful woman than an average woman with a very handsome man. So, a man will often try to destroy his girlfriend's/wife's self-esteem so she doesn't think she can do better...I've seen this happen a million times and I'm quite sure that this is what's happening here as well.

Obviously beauty is still objective, what I mean is, that shallow people often go for someone prettier than themselves, and if they sense their other half pulling away, they'll do and say anything to keep them. An often used tactic is to make them doubt their looks and make them believe they'll never find another man/woman who will love them like they do, when in fact they don't even love them...

Some good points you touched on there. Especially what is deemed socially acceptable I.e it's okay to call someone skinny but calling someone fat is a no no.

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Anyways back to the issue. I’m just afraid that he is only with me because of the way I look. When he met me I was completely clear had such perfect skin and didn’t even wear face make-up on our first few dates. He would always tell me I’m pretty, sexy, the most best looking person in the world, etc.. but sometimes we fight like any other couple and recently he has called me incredibly stupid. He says that I won’t get far in life and will barely make any money compared to what he can do /: Which sadly might be true because I’m a hairstylist who just got a part time job at the salon. And I spend a lot of money on quality/organic food for my skin issues… shipping in Hawaii is hella expensive : P

So I asked him why are you with a ‘stupid’ girl? He said, “Its because your pretty. Most smart girls are fat and ugly. The smart and pretty ones are already married..” My reaction was wow… okay… “So you’re basically with me because of my looks? What if I start to look ugly in the future?”

I read some great advice once, I believe it's a quote by Maya Angelou:

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

This guy showed that he's a shallow and cruel individual. Even if you weren't super young, I would still tell you that you could do a millions times better than this a-hole (although really, at 19? You have your whole life ahead of you- don't spend it with such people). You need someone who will love you with zits or not. not to say that there aren't compromises one has to make in a relationship, but this would be a total deal breaker for me.

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I realize I'm late on responding to this thread and others have already given you pretty good advice. But your post was so infuriating I just have to respond too.

Your boyfriend is emotionally abusive. And if you don't leave, it is going to get worse. He sees that your acne is something you feel insecure about and he uses that as a platform to break you down further, making you easy to manipulate. I realize we can't see everything that goes on in your relationship, but I'd be willing to guess that there are other ways this guy is emotionally abusive, toxic and unfair to you also.

Please just trust me. I have been through multiple abusive relationships and putting you down for your looks and calling you names (stupid etc) is one of the ways that it begins. If this is the way this guy behaves now, you don't even want to know how he's going to be in the future. Show him that treating a woman this way is absolutely unacceptable and leave his ass. In my opinion, he doesn't even deserve another chance.

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