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Eye Contact

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(@dukebluedevils)

Posted : 10/19/2012 8:18 pm

Does anyone else have a really difficult time making eye contact with people because of their self consciousness about their acne? I do. When I do look people in the eyes (which is rare) I look away really fast and can't maintain the eye contact. I'm wondering if others have this same problem and looking for ways on how to fix it where I can actually look people in the eyes (for longer than 2 seconds).

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19
(@bobby-stephenson)

Posted : 10/19/2012 8:34 pm

I only have that problem when there's a big cyst on my nose or I look like I have smallpox.

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(@nfamousjade)

Posted : 10/19/2012 8:47 pm

I have a problem doing that with guys I'm interested in. :/

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(@lilly75)

Posted : 10/19/2012 8:50 pm

I find it depends on how I'm feeling overall that day and who I'm talking to / seeing. So it's worse if I'm talking with a guy I'm interested in too haha

 

If I've left the house feeling down about my skin or with a really noticeable breakout and makeup that isn't working well, then that reflects in my confidence (and therefore eye contact etc) for the day. If I leave for the day feeling a little better about myself for whatever reason then I feel a little more confident for the day and that makes all the difference :)

 

So I'd suggest trying to find something that you're happy about to do with yourself / something that you like about yourself, when you're starting your day. It can be anything - my hair looks good today, I like the shirt I'm wearing today - whatever. I know it sounds silly but I think it helps to distract you from your skin - which is another good thing to try anyway - try and focus less on your skin. I think we tend to over-think things when it comes to our skin. I bet when we're having a conversation with someone and we keep looking away, I bet that is what would leave an impression on them and not our skin - (if that makes sense).

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(@murph89)

Posted : 10/19/2012 9:50 pm

Here's my theory. If you make constant eye contact with someone when you are talking to them, they will too. They won't see your acne. They will be looking at your eyes. Look in the mirror. Look at your eyes. Do you see your acne? No, you don't. If you're not making eye contact with someone and your eyes are wandering, or looking down or whatever, chances are so will they. Eye contact shows confidence. I dated a girl when my skin was clear, minus an occasional pimple and some clearing red marks, but she called me out one night and said "why don't you ever make eye contact with me? Are you self conscious or something" I was caught super off guard, and I said I just didn't realize I wasn't. So it's really important to do this. You will come off confident and you're skin wont be noticeable.

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(@lightersup)

Posted : 10/23/2012 8:10 pm

I'm guilty of this one. When I have a bad breakout I never wanna make eye contact with anyone. I try not to engage with too many people until my skin clears up. When my skin is clear I'm the complete opposite and not shy at all about people seeing my face. I go in the brightest lights, face the sunlight without fear, and can get up close to anyone. I think I have an urge to "show off" my clear skin so I talk to anyone and everyone. It's funny how acne can completely dictate your personality... or maybe it's sad.

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(@samiman)

Posted : 10/24/2012 7:41 am

It's kinda funny when I think about it. Do we think that not looking at them makes them not look at us? haha

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(@bodie81)

Posted : 10/24/2012 1:10 pm

I'm guilty of this one. When I have a bad breakout I never wanna make eye contact with anyone. I try not to engage with too many people until my skin clears up. When my skin is clear I'm the complete opposite and not shy at all about people seeing my face. I go in the brightest lights, face the sunlight without fear, and can get up close to anyone. I think I have an urge to "show off" my clear skin so I talk to anyone and everyone. It's funny how acne can completely dictate your personality... or maybe it's sad.

 

I totally agree with the last statement. My confidence and personality are dictated by the state of my skin or how i "perceive" my skin to be on any given day. On days that I feel that my skin is relatively clear, I can look people in the eye, laugh and joke and generally be confident and outgoing. However, on days when I have a few blemishes and spots, I do not want to look at anyone or even speak to anyone in case they look at me and feel repulsed by what they see. This has been going on for many years and I hope that with the counselling and CBT that I am having in the next few months, I can finally accept the way I am irrespective of whether I have acne or no acne. For far too long I have let it ruin my life.

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197
(@lilly75)

Posted : 10/25/2012 3:44 am

My skin has been worse this week, with very noticeable acne on my right cheek and chin, and it's impacted my confidence more than usual. I've found myself avoiding eye contact more than usual. Even if I've left the house for the day feeling a little better about myself, i'm still aware of it and self-conscious about it and that shows during the day.

Hasn't stopped me from talking to my friends, though I've noticed I've kept my head down or looked away from people when I've been on the bus or walking to/from class.

When my skin is doing better then eye contact isn't so much of an issue, especially when I'm feeling ok about myself.

So I guess it's all up and down days.

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(@o-havoc-o)

Posted : 10/25/2012 3:52 am

Does anyone else have a really difficult time making eye contact with people because of their self consciousness about their acne? I do. When I do look people in the eyes (which is rare) I look away really fast and can't maintain the eye contact. I'm wondering if others have this same problem and looking for ways on how to fix it where I can actually look people in the eyes (for longer than 2 seconds).

 

Most people have insecurities in one form or another.

Ironically if you looked someone straight in the eye you'd most likely take control of that encounter and put that person on the back foot.

I fully understand where you're coming from but with practice you can certainly assert yourself better just by maintaining eye contact.

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