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LeaveMeAlone

Acne Can Burn In Hell. I Cannot Take This Pathetic Charade Any More. I'm Done.

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I legit can't take it any more. I'm tired of everything. I feel that I'm just full of bad luck and it just keeps coming at me like a bee in search for honey. Acne eats away the confidence of all of us like a ravenous cancer. Devouring it until there is nothing left. That's what I feel it's doing to me right now. I know I'm only 17 years of age, but I just can't concentrate on most things any more. Every single day for the past year, I wake up, wash my face, and look in the mirror disgusted. I literally hate my face and what's it become. It might only seem mild or moderate to most people and I might seem like I'm whining like a little bitch about it, but not having any acne at all would be a dream come true.

Myself and one other guy in my grade have acne that is visible enough to others that only get one or two pimples here and there and it's without a doubt depressing. What makes me wonder is that I've heard most people I know talk about the other guy behind his back. I always have a feeling they're doing it to me as well and just the thought of it makes me cringe. Most people in my year are pretty wealthy in some cases, drive, have crystal clear skin, and boyfriends or girlfriends and they make it out to be like they're so happy together all the time. I live in a duplex, my parents don't drive, I have acne, and I haven't had a girlfriend in over two years, which doesn't really mean much, but I'll get to that soon.

I'm not that much of a religious person, but got invited to go to church every now and then by a friend of mine, and both of us have acne. It felt like no one and I repeat no one had a single blemish of their face. It felt awkward talking to a few people there because I could obviously see them looking at my acne instead of my eyes. It was clear as day and I thought "Hang on, if you believe in God, aren't you meant to be the opposite to judgemental?". I rarely go there nowadays, but I feel that I've lost faith in God because of it. I didn't understand it either. My best friend was on the verge of committing suicide because of his very severe back/chest acne and even he's a Christian.

Living in an area full of surfers, beach babes, and the occasional snobby local, I hate the fact of not having great skin. Before this sad charade began, my skin was smooth, I could eat whatever I want, and I actually had confidence. Nowadays, I avoid mirrors or anything that involves me seeing my reflection, I always get redness around my nose and under my eyes, and I feel that I'm always friend zoned because my acne repels the girls I'm interested in. It's a terrible feeling not being able to look forward to seeing yourself in photos whenever it comes to random parties, my recent formal from a couple of days ago, or even just chilling out with friends or family on Facebook or rarely Twitter.

I can't see myself getting a girl any time soon and I love single life, but there comes a time where it sucks and it's been sucking for quite a while now. My mind has been on this girl that lives on the other side of the country for at least two months now and the worst it's affected me is sleep deprivation, but that's only happened once. Knowing that it's almost impossible to secure an amazingly beautiful girl just kills me inside, but other than that, I've always had trouble talking to girls at times and it sucks a lot. I can talk to girls that are my friends so easily, but freeze whenever it's with a girl that I have a thing for.

I don't understand why a girl can't come my way any time soon, my confidence can be revived, or how I can stop feeling incredibly depressed because of it all. I play a number of sports, I dance to express myself to the music I love, I go to the gym, I write songs, poems, raps, or whatever you want to call them about the girl on my mind, rarely girls in general, and achieving goals in life, I'm in the middle of writing a novel, I don't go out and get drunk or get stoned all the time or even at all, I respect those I care about, and I'm a reliable friend who is always there for those in need. I just wish the pricks at school or in the past can experience what I'm or anybody with acne is dealing with. This has been built up for too long and I just needed to let it out before I did something incredibly stupid.

Vent or rant over, whatever you want to call it. I just had to get it off my chest. This is beyond disheartening. I despise acne with every ounce in me. Go die and never come back.

Edited by LeaveMeAlone

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Shit man I feel for you and most of us have/are in your mental position. You are still so young though. Your only 17. Chances are, you are still going through some sort of puberty and your hormones are sorting themselves out. Acne does suck, no question. Its a crippling disease that takes EVERYTHING away from you. Stop trying to chase girls and looking for that 1 girl to fall in love with. It really wont happen at your age. Focus on you, and only you. Become good friends with your friend that also has acne. It will help both of you talk about it, feel more comfortable around eachother with it, and you can vent to each other. You seem like you have a lot of things going for you. You like music, you write music, novels, going to the gym, etc etc. Just continue to build on that. Stop putting ALL your emotional energy into finding a girl. That will come later down the line when you are more comfortable with yourself. Focus on you, and build yourself.

And from my personal experience, the last thing you need to do is to get into a relationship after high school. You will get SO sucked into that, that you will miss out on college, and all the other experiences you might have after graduating. Stay strong bro.

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Shit man I feel for you and most of us have/are in your mental position. You are still so young though. Your only 17. Chances are, you are still going through some sort of puberty and your hormones are sorting themselves out. Acne does suck, no question. Its a crippling disease that takes EVERYTHING away from you. Stop trying to chase girls and looking for that 1 girl to fall in love with. It really wont happen at your age. Focus on you, and only you. Become good friends with your friend that also has acne. It will help both of you talk about it, feel more comfortable around eachother with it, and you can vent to each other. You seem like you have a lot of things going for you. You like music, you write music, novels, going to the gym, etc etc. Just continue to build on that. Stop putting ALL your emotional energy into finding a girl. That will come later down the line when you are more comfortable with yourself. Focus on you, and build yourself.

And from my personal experience, the last thing you need to do is to get into a relationship after high school. You will get SO sucked into that, that you will miss out on college, and all the other experiences you might have after graduating. Stay strong bro.

Thanks a lot for having the time to reply man.

Yeah, it might seem like I'm trying a little too hard in finding a girl, but it's probably the fact of struggling to get over the fact that the girl I like lives so far away, so I've been trying to just focus on other things as well. That's why I'm hoping on making a name for myself in any of those categories I mentioned. Sure, I wouldn't say I focus much on dancing, but I have a passion for both writing and sport. It's all I ever think about most of the time if I can't get my mind off acne. If I'm not writing my novel or writing lyrics, I'm out kicking a ball around or working out. I get called a loser at times because I rarely party, but that's people in high school for you.

Yeah, another reason why having a girlfriend sounds great is probably because I'm basically the only one out of my friends that's single. Don't get me wrong, I love being single and all, but it's not too pleasing in being left out when it comes to doing stuff with someone you're with whenever I'm hanging out with friends. Sure, the girl on my mind is visiting and is in town as of right now, but she's too busy to even meet up with me, which is pretty annoying in a way, but I like the idea of just building myself. That's what I'm probably going to concentrate on. I'm still young and all, so I guess I've got my whole life ahead of me, even if acne is an impossible barrier to break.

Overall, thanks again for the advice man.

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