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omarcomin

Is Anyone Else Indifferent To The Opposite Sex?

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Success with the oppisite sex is subjective, i've seen women and men with acne or over weight or other appearence issues who have partners. I guess i fall into the category of people who are completley devoid of any contact with women. I haven't kissed a woman in 3 years (and that was only when i was drunk) and the only time i've talked to a woman is out of necessity (job interviews, buying something from the shop and talking to the woman behind the counter etc.)

I accecpted the fact a long long time ago that women just weren't interested in me and i got on with it. Maybe that is something positive that acne has given me . . . i've learnt to live with my own company and i kind of enjoy the freedom of being single. The problem is that i'm so used to not interacting with women that i actually go out of my way to avoid women, if an attractive woman walks past me in the street i look at the ground and avoid her, half due to habit becuase of my skin and the other half is kind of not torturing myself by looking at someone i know i can't have. I'm pretty invisible to women anyway.

If i woke up with clear skin tomorrow i would still have the same problem. I'm TOO used to not interacting with women and maybe a little TOO comfortable with being single. It's not a problem now because i'm fairly young but in a few years it could be a problem.

Is anyone else completley indifferent to the oppiste sex because of confidence or problems caused by your skin?

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I wouldn't say I am completely devoid of contact with women as some good friends of mine are girls but other than them I pretty much do the same. I agree with you about accepting that women just won't be interested in me. I think its all a game of confidence and if you don't have any in yourself its a real uphill battle at the best of times. I've seen guys worse looking than me (and I'm certainly no model myself lol.gif) with girlfriends and wondered how they did it. If we are honest looks are fairly important but they aren't everything and definitely not the be all end all sort of thing, those guys had lots of confidence or at least enough to be open and be themselves, which is difficult achieve when you are embarrassed by your own face/skin...

So yeah, I think you worded it nicely - I'm just indifferent. Not necessarily because I want to be but because I just cannot see it happening so I don't bother at all with it. Maybe it will change with time, who knows, confidence is key in my opinion though.

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I always assumed that things would automatically change once my skin got better. Guess I always thought it was black and white: I have acne so I'm ugly and that's that, nobody would ever be interested. Obviously, it doesn't have to work that way, but that's how I felt. As a result of that, I acted a certain way and it's probably most likely that the impression I created - this incredibly shy, insecure shell of a person being crushed by low confidence and self esteem - was to blame. After all, nobody would ever find those things attractive, even if you were the most physically attractive person on the planet.

Because of the period of my life acne made its biggest impact, there were a lot of things I missed during those crucial teenage years. That's the most formative time of our lives so pretty much hiding away from the age of 13 through to 26 wasn't the best idea at all. Kind of feels like any attempt to catch up would be a pointless, token gesture because I really don't know how to get involved in things or meet people. Throw someone who I'd find physically attractive into the mix and I absolutely wouldn't know where to start.

Some people get surprised if they hear that I've never had a girlfriend or never been on a date, or anything really. You name it, I haven't done it. That's just matter of fact so I'm not ashamed of it as such. Not overly keen to find out what the general reaction to that would be, though, because I know that there are people who make fun of such things.

I have been told that I'm a nice person and that I'm caring and things like that, and maybe that's where peoples' surprise comes from, but it brings me back around to that black and white mentality I had because that made me shut myself away and it made me feel like whatever traits I did have would count for nothing. I'd just look at myself and think, 'Why would anyone ever want to be with this?!' Thinking about the bigger picture, as each year passes and I'm just as inexperienced as I ever was, it makes me wonder if that will ever change and if I'll ever experience being in a relationship with someone, physically and emotionally, and also experience things which may come with that, such as parenthood. I can't see that stuff happening for me at all. It all just seems alien to me and I could see how that could be a problem as the years pass.

I understand what MJR194 is saying, with regards to wondering how people do it. I'm sure I've seen guys who maybe weren't what you'd generally call good looking. Not to be nasty or anything, I guess that's just in relation to what the general idea of "good looking" is in society. I've seen guys like that and they have a girlfriend who is clearly totally into them and I can only assume that their character and personality has played a part because if they've had the confidence to let it shine through, it's like it's amplified or something. I resent that sometimes, which isn't fair and it feels kind of mean. I like seeing people happy, so it's conflicted to see in a negative way as well. I certain;y wouldn't have set out to be bitter or so self-involved.

I'm not indifferent to the opposite sex, in as much as that I notice women all the time. I appreciate the female form and, overall, I think I'd rather spend time with girls than guys. Kind of ironic, given my lack of experience, but that's because I don't really get on with guys either and usually feel out of place or intimidated. Seems I just struggle quite a lot around people in general! I have tried a little, though, and I do try and talk to people at work. There's a girl who has just moved to my team and I've been teaching her the job this week. I think she's really pretty and she pulls the cutest faces. Makes me laugh and I didn't try to hide that, nor did I feel creepy when I mentioned it to her and she didn't seem repulsed by it. I've been on the wrong end of that before, where you show an interest in someone and they recoil with a shocked, 'Eww! Get the hell away from me!' expression on their face. That's not a nice experience. Takes a lot for me to smile at or even look at girls if I think they're pretty because I don't want to see their reaction in case it's negative and brings me down.

In the here and now, acne isn't playing a direct part in any of this because my face is clear. In my mind, it's like it's still at its worst. It's all internal, it's all emotional, and it's all physiological. But my response to acne is what put me in that situation, so it just goes to show how much damage it could do and how that damage doesn't automatically go away or stop when the acne does.

In all cases, though, we can only improve if we work on ourselves. It's good to talk it out with people who can relate but it's important to be mindful of what needs to be done in order to get to where we want to be. Every one of us is deserving of being happy in ourselves and of being happy around others. One step at a time, folks! :)

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I definitely can't say that I'm indifferent to the opposite sex. I love talking to women and getting to know them, and I've had quite a few girlfriends in the past. I've also developed some really good, stable friendships with girls. One of my best friends currently is a female. However, when it comes to girls I've dated, I'm usually the one to get approached first because I'm SO shy about initiating that kind of thing with a girl. My fear of rejection is way higher than normal because of my skin, so I've never asked a girl out in my whole life. Girls have asked me out and we take it from there, but I've never been the one to put myself out there before. My relationships seem like they're built to fail though because I don't let girls in as much as I want to let them in. I almost never talk to them about how I feel about my skin, and it creates a disconnect because they know something is bothering me, but they can never figure out what it is. I wish I could find it within myself to talk openly about it, but the scenarios that play out in my head always involve the girl not understanding at all and distancing herself from me almost immediately when I tell her. Girls want confident guys, that's a fact, and if you have a huge insecurity like acne and scars I just don't think they'll want to spend their life with a significant other that has those kinds of problems.

I think acne is very different when it comes to the two genders. If you check the relationship thread in this section, you'll notice there is a HUGE ratio of girls with acne who have long-term boyfriends, and barely any of the guys suffering from acne have long-term girlfriends. I feel like it's much harder for guys because the gender roles are mandated in a way where guys are expected to chase girls and take the lead in conveying interest and all that, and when you deal with the crippling shyness that acne causes, it's nearly impossible to do that.

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Hey, you will hate me, but I don't care.

You guys make me sick. When I read your posts I want to throw up. Yes, you (and me) got totally screwed over in the genetic lottery of pretty faces, but you now just decide to give up? Give up on girls? Why not just chop off you balls outright? Thoughts of girls won't even bother you then.

Yes, you might have acne, but you know what? They will be gone one day. And the day they are gone, you will be totally unprepared and ridden of the single excuse you had. And now... If you are acne-ridden fat boring guy living at your parents, then join a gym, start reading books, go on a trip and get a job! Then you will be at least an acne-ridden interesting well-traveled independent man with great body and when the time comes you will be ready for girls and to catch up on everything you have missed during last years.

I know it is hard. Sometimes I don't want to go outside after I look in the mirror, but you know what? I still do. I get a huge cyst right before the party and you know what? Nobody cares! You ask me how many girls I pick up? None! But I experiment with the medications and I know one day my face will get better. And I will be ready.

Sorry, if the post was hateful or out of place, but men should not give up like that. There is just so much more to a man than just pretty face.

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Hey, you will hate me, but I don't care.

You guys make me sick. When I read your posts I want to throw up. Yes, you (and me) got totally screwed over in the genetic lottery of pretty faces, but you now just decide to give up? Give up on girls? Why not just chop off you balls outright? Thoughts of girls won't even bother you then.

Yes, you might have acne, but you know what? They will be gone one day. And the day they are gone, you will be totally unprepared and ridden of the single excuse you had. And now... If you are acne-ridden fat boring guy living at your parents, then join a gym, start reading books, go on a trip and get a job! Then you will be at least an acne-ridden interesting well-traveled independent man with great body and when the time comes you will be ready for girls and to catch up on everything you have missed during last years.

I know it is hard. Sometimes I don't want to go outside after I look in the mirror, but you know what? I still do. I get a huge cyst right before the party and you know what? Nobody cares! You ask me how many girls I pick up? None! But I experiment with the medications and I know one day my face will get better. And I will be ready.

Sorry, if the post was hateful or out of place, but men should not give up like that. There is just so much more to a man than just pretty face.

Fair enough if that's your opinion. Just a couple of points though

Get a job - Is it really that simple as go out and get a job, what do you do when you apply for 10 jobs a week and you get nothing, it isn't a s simple as "get a job"

You have a huge cyst you go to a party, nobody cares - Well good for you, i've gone to parties and clubs before with cysts and my normal acne and i've had the piss ripped out of me, i've been beaten up because i have acne. "nobody cares" . . .they cared enough to give me a good hiding.

Looks arent everything i know but there is no fairytale hollwood ending where you meet the beautiful girl who sees past your flaws and your skin, we could become well travelled, well read indivudals with a good job, but most people won't give a shit, we will still be that guy with acne and the unemployed douche who couldnt read a comic strip gets a girl because he's got clear skin.

I don't mean to challenge you, you have a good point but i just dont think it's as black and white as you say, no offence or anything.

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Fair enough if that's your opinion. Just a couple of points though

Get a job - Is it really that simple as go out and get a job, what do you do when you apply for 10 jobs a week and you get nothing, it isn't a s simple as "get a job"

You have a huge cyst you go to a party, nobody cares - Well good for you, i've gone to parties and clubs before with cysts and my normal acne and i've had the piss ripped out of me, i've been beaten up because i have acne. "nobody cares" . . .they cared enough to give me a good hiding.

Looks arent everything i know but there is no fairytale hollwood ending where you meet the beautiful girl who sees past your flaws and your skin, we could become well travelled, well read indivudals with a good job, but most people won't give a shit, we will still be that guy with acne and the unemployed douche who couldnt read a comic strip gets a girl because he's got clear skin.

I don't mean to challenge you, you have a good point but i just dont think it's as black and white as you say, no offence or anything.

Look man, I am not trying to trivialize your problem or tell you that you can have A. Jolie if you just try hard enough. It doesn't work like that. I am in the same boat like you (I just don't go to clubs where you can get beaten up though). What I am telling you is that you cannot give up and you cannot quit.

None of this is easy, getting a job, getting beaten up and so on. But you can either whine about it or do something about it. And if what you are doing is not enough, then you either have to do more than you are doing now or try different ways. I bet you can apply to more than 10 jobs a week. I am sure you can go to a gym and learn to protect yourself.

If you become the person I described, most people might still not care. But some will. Anyway you are not going to have acne forever, so stop burying yourself alive and put your time to use. Look at the girls. They are pretty and smell nice. And you want to have them. Then do something. Hell, even if you look like a disfigured monkey you can always just get rich and marry some bimbo. There is always a way.

P.S. Honestly don't mean to offend you, I just try to offer another perspective.

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Fair enough if that's your opinion. Just a couple of points though

Get a job - Is it really that simple as go out and get a job, what do you do when you apply for 10 jobs a week and you get nothing, it isn't a s simple as "get a job"

You have a huge cyst you go to a party, nobody cares - Well good for you, i've gone to parties and clubs before with cysts and my normal acne and i've had the piss ripped out of me, i've been beaten up because i have acne. "nobody cares" . . .they cared enough to give me a good hiding.

Looks arent everything i know but there is no fairytale hollwood ending where you meet the beautiful girl who sees past your flaws and your skin, we could become well travelled, well read indivudals with a good job, but most people won't give a shit, we will still be that guy with acne and the unemployed douche who couldnt read a comic strip gets a girl because he's got clear skin.

I don't mean to challenge you, you have a good point but i just dont think it's as black and white as you say, no offence or anything.

Look man, I am not trying to trivialize your problem or tell you that you can have A. Jolie if you just try hard enough. It doesn't work like that. I am in the same boat like you (I just don't go to clubs where you can get beaten up though). What I am telling you is that you cannot give up and you cannot quit.

None of this is easy, getting a job, getting beaten up and so on. But you can either whine about it or do something about it. And if what you are doing is not enough, then you either have to do more than you are doing now or try different ways. I bet you can apply to more than 10 jobs a week. I am sure you can go to a gym and learn to protect yourself.

If you become the person I described, most people might still not care. But some will. Anyway you are not going to have acne forever, so stop burying yourself alive and put your time to use. Look at the girls. They are pretty and smell nice. And you want to have them. Then do something. Hell, even if you look like a disfigured monkey you can always just get rich and marry some bimbo. There is always a way.

P.S. Honestly don't mean to offend you, I just try to offer another perspective.

No problem bro, i wasn't offended, you was just giving your opinion and i was just giving mine. You sound like you have a good attitude in relation to your skin, you don't dwell on your skin problems and you don't let it hold you back, i could really do with being like that sometimes.

And yes girls do smell nice lol, there's nothing more pleasurable to the nostrils than an attractive woman with a nice perfume (as long as they don't over do it).

Edited by omarcomin

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No problem bro, i wasn't offended, you was just giving your opinion and i was just giving mine. You sound like you have a good attitude in relation to your skin, you don't dwell on your skin problems and you don't let it hold you back, i could really do with being like that sometimes.

And yes girls do smell nice lol, there's nothing more pleasurable to the nostrils than an attractive woman with a nice perfume (as long as they don't over do it).

Exactly. Do not close you eyes (and nostrils) to them. Look at them, enjoy it and let it motivate you. (Just in case: see NoFap on reddit. After 10 days your motivation will double lol.)

As for attitude: well, sometimes I just want to take a knife and cut all the pimples and red spots off. I would feel prettier, I guess. But it all basically comes to this: I either obsess with my face and bang my head against the wall (sometimes I do) OR admit the fact that I might not go to a club and talk to hot girls in tight dresses tonight, but sure as hell TODAY I will do everything possible to be a better man tomorrow and to have all those blondes and brunettes and redheads at my disposal and to be able to do what I want to with my life. For me, it is my education/career, gym, books. And when those pimples fade away, I will not miss my chance.

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I get what you are saying Green tea and I think you are right in the way you approach these things. I have tried to be like you said in the past but I always seem to regress back into the same old mentality. Its so difficult to keep it going and thats why I just ended up being indifferent, I don't know how to maintain that motivation

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I used to get a lot of girls...a lot...in high school. I mean I would literally have a different girl every month. Im not saying I banged every one of them, but I was always hanging out with a different girl every few weeks or month. It was nice, and I felt great. But once I started getting acne at 19, that all changed. 19-21 was a tough period for me for girls. I didnt have any, obviously, and I wouldnt talk to any. It was tough for me because I was seeing guys that were douche bags and not good looking getting hot girls, and I know with my personality and (not to sound cocky) but I feel im a good looking guy, I could do the same, but my skin was so bad I was just afraid and self conscious to talk to any. from 21- 22 1/2 I went through a great period of girls. I developed longer term relationships and was more interested in settling down, then hooking up and going from girl to girl like I did in HS. That all stopped ONCE again when i broke out again. SInce my skin has been looking better, not 100%, but almost clear, ive been more comfortable talking to girls. I feel like they are looking at me again. Im going out with an ex who I havent seen in almost a year in a few hours, and im nervous as fuck, but I gotta be confident. Thats what its all about. Being confident. Acting like nothing has changed, whether I have a few red marks or not.

Ive always been more comfortable talking to girls, and have ALWAYS had at least 1 girl in my life, except for the bad periods I mentioned. Whether it was someone I was seeing and hookin up with, or we were friends, but theres always been 1. I cant say that about guys. My guy friends come and go. Kinda shitty, but it is what it is. For most guys, its the opposite. Ive always been able to talk to girls or women more confidently than I can with guys. I think its a sense of comfort women put out. Not sure if I answered the OPs question correctly, but thats what came to mind when I read the title.

Edited by Murph89

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Success with the oppisite sex is subjective, i've seen women and men with acne or over weight or other appearence issues who have partners. I guess i fall into the category of people who are completley devoid of any contact with women. I haven't kissed a woman in 3 years (and that was only when i was drunk) and the only time i've talked to a woman is out of necessity (job interviews, buying something from the shop and talking to the woman behind the counter etc.)

I accecpted the fact a long long time ago that women just weren't interested in me and i got on with it. Maybe that is something positive that acne has given me . . . i've learnt to live with my own company and i kind of enjoy the freedom of being single. The problem is that i'm so used to not interacting with women that i actually go out of my way to avoid women, if an attractive woman walks past me in the street i look at the ground and avoid her, half due to habit becuase of my skin and the other half is kind of not torturing myself by looking at someone i know i can't have. I'm pretty invisible to women anyway.

If i woke up with clear skin tomorrow i would still have the same problem. I'm TOO used to not interacting with women and maybe a little TOO comfortable with being single. It's not a problem now because i'm fairly young but in a few years it could be a problem.

Is anyone else completley indifferent to the oppiste sex because of confidence or problems caused by your skin?

Many people grow out of the shallow mind games that seem to make up the majority of pre-sexual interaction. You don't have to have a self-esteem problem to simply get tired of everyone turning into slobbering dogs around physically attractive people.

Don't torture yourself over someone who you think you can't have. Just because something appears unattainable doesn't mean it actually has true value to your life.

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I don't know but maby that's why our hormones are all fucked up cause we don't get any ass I mean isn't that the stereotype we allways see a nerdy guy with acne and shit on tv. I only had one girl who was actually

interested in me and she told me my acne bothered her, so I started realizing after awhile girls only feel sorry for guys with acne I mean I dont blame em either how the fuck is it attractive? It's not. no matter how you wanna sugarcoat that shit acne makes you look shitty regardless all you can do is pretend like it doesnt bother you but that's no guarantee that girls will pretend to act like it doesn't bother them. I remember this bitch told

me once she would fuck me with a bag over my head in front of the class, she was fuckin gorgeous and all I could do was take it like a man as the whole class laughed, but it's shit like that that destroys your confidence and shatters your identity into tiny peices and you can try to glue all the peices back together but some of the peices have blown away with the wind and others won't stick anymore so your kind of fucked.

Edited by Sum1killme

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I'm definitely not indifferent to women - on the whole, I adore them, love their company and conversation, especially clever women. My problem is that I'm bad at flirting - I never pick up on the signals when a woman is flirting with me and for my own part I find it difficult to turn a platonic relationship into something more. Even on dates, I make good, interesting conversation but can't seem to flirt! My low-confidence due to acne has played a huge part in this. Pre-acne, flirting came naturally to me because I have nice features and automatically assumed girls would like me.

On the other hand, there are plenty of men out there who have lots and lots of one-night-stands or short-term relationships who nonetheless clearly hate women, who use them for their bodies but would rather be in the company of other men, drinking beer, pumping iron and grunting in monosyllables about their latest conquest. I (almost) have a PhD but there's a lot about male-female attraction I'll never understand!

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Posted (edited) · Hidden by AKL, September 14, 2012 - Mod thread: http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php/topic/320584-arqa22-official-warning-and-3-day-suspension/
Hidden by AKL, September 14, 2012 - Mod thread: http://www.acne.org/messageboard/index.php/topic/320584-arqa22-official-warning-and-3-day-suspension/

I always assumed that things would automatically change once my skin got better. Guess I always thought it was black and white: I have acne so I'm ugly and that's that, nobody would ever be interested. Obviously, it doesn't have to work that way, but that's how I felt. As a result of that, I acted a certain way and it's probably most likely that the impression I created - this incredibly shy, insecure shell of a person being crushed by low confidence and self esteem - was to blame. After all, nobody would ever find those things attractive, even if you were the most physically attractive person on the planet.

Because of the period of my life acne made its biggest impact, there were a lot of things I missed during those crucial teenage years. That's the most formative time of our lives so pretty much hiding away from the age of 13 through to 26 wasn't the best idea at all. Kind of feels like any attempt to catch up would be a pointless, token gesture because I really don't know how to get involved in things or meet people. Throw someone who I'd find physically attractive into the mix and I absolutely wouldn't know where to start.

Some people get surprised if they hear that I've never had a girlfriend or never been on a date, or anything really. You name it, I haven't done it. That's just matter of fact so I'm not ashamed of it as such. Not overly keen to find out what the general reaction to that would be, though, because I know that there are people who make fun of such things.

I have been told that I'm a nice person and that I'm caring and things like that, and maybe that's where peoples' surprise comes from, but it brings me back around to that black and white mentality I had because that made me shut myself away and it made me feel like whatever traits I did have would count for nothing. I'd just look at myself and think, 'Why would anyone ever want to be with this?!' Thinking about the bigger picture, as each year passes and I'm just as inexperienced as I ever was, it makes me wonder if that will ever change and if I'll ever experience being in a relationship with someone, physically and emotionally, and also experience things which may come with that, such as parenthood. I can't see that stuff happening for me at all. It all just seems alien to me and I could see how that could be a problem as the years pass.

I understand what MJR194 is saying, with regards to wondering how people do it. I'm sure I've seen guys who maybe weren't what you'd generally call good looking. Not to be nasty or anything, I guess that's just in relation to what the general idea of "good looking" is in society. I've seen guys like that and they have a girlfriend who is clearly totally into them and I can only assume that their character and personality has played a part because if they've had the confidence to let it shine through, it's like it's amplified or something. I resent that sometimes, which isn't fair and it feels kind of mean. I like seeing people happy, so it's conflicted to see in a negative way as well. I certain;y wouldn't have set out to be bitter or so self-involved.

I'm not indifferent to the opposite sex, in as much as that I notice women all the time. I appreciate the female form and, overall, I think I'd rather spend time with girls than guys. Kind of ironic, given my lack of experience, but that's because I don't really get on with guys either and usually feel out of place or intimidated. Seems I just struggle quite a lot around people in general! I have tried a little, though, and I do try and talk to people at work. There's a girl who has just moved to my team and I've been teaching her the job this week. I think she's really pretty and she pulls the cutest faces. Makes me laugh and I didn't try to hide that, nor did I feel creepy when I mentioned it to her and she didn't seem repulsed by it. I've been on the wrong end of that before, where you show an interest in someone and they recoil with a shocked, 'Eww! Get the hell away from me!' expression on their face. That's not a nice experience. Takes a lot for me to smile at or even look at girls if I think they're pretty because I don't want to see their reaction in case it's negative and brings me down.

In the here and now, acne isn't playing a direct part in any of this because my face is clear. In my mind, it's like it's still at its worst. It's all internal, it's all emotional, and it's all physiological. But my response to acne is what put me in that situation, so it just goes to show how much damage it could do and how that damage doesn't automatically go away or stop when the acne does.

you have some kind of over\cross bite, women are highly unattracted to it. fix it with plastic surgery.

I'm definitely not indifferent to women - on the whole, I adore them, love their company and conversation, especially clever women. My problem is that I'm bad at flirting - I never pick up on the signals when a woman is flirting with me and for my own part I find it difficult to turn a platonic relationship into something more. Even on dates, I make good, interesting conversation but can't seem to flirt! My low-confidence due to acne has played a huge part in this. Pre-acne, flirting came naturally to me because I have nice features and automatically assumed girls would like me.

On the other hand, there are plenty of men out there who have lots and lots of one-night-stands or short-term relationships who nonetheless clearly hate women, who use them for their bodies but would rather be in the company of other men, drinking beer, pumping iron and grunting in monosyllables about their latest conquest. I (almost) have a PhD but there's a lot about male-female attraction I'll never understand!

let me help you with that one, women only care about looks.

I definitely can't say that I'm indifferent to the opposite sex. I love talking to women and getting to know them, and I've had quite a few girlfriends in the past. I've also developed some really good, stable friendships with girls. One of my best friends currently is a female. However, when it comes to girls I've dated, I'm usually the one to get approached first because I'm SO shy about initiating that kind of thing with a girl. My fear of rejection is way higher than normal because of my skin, so I've never asked a girl out in my whole life. Girls have asked me out and we take it from there, but I've never been the one to put myself out there before. My relationships seem like they're built to fail though because I don't let girls in as much as I want to let them in. I almost never talk to them about how I feel about my skin, and it creates a disconnect because they know something is bothering me, but they can never figure out what it is. I wish I could find it within myself to talk openly about it, but the scenarios that play out in my head always involve the girl not understanding at all and distancing herself from me almost immediately when I tell her. Girls want confident guys, that's a fact, and if you have a huge insecurity like acne and scars I just don't think they'll want to spend their life with a significant other that has those kinds of problems.

I think acne is very different when it comes to the two genders. If you check the relationship thread in this section, you'll notice there is a HUGE ratio of girls with acne who have long-term boyfriends, and barely any of the guys suffering from acne have long-term girlfriends. I feel like it's much harder for guys because the gender roles are mandated in a way where guys are expected to chase girls and take the lead in conveying interest and all that, and when you deal with the crippling shyness that acne causes, it's nearly impossible to do that.

no, thats cuz women have higher standarts and are not ready to date down below their looks league, infact, most of the time they only date up. i have never seen in my life a couple where the man was uglier, only the opposite.

Hey, you will hate me, but I don't care.

You guys make me sick. When I read your posts I want to throw up. Yes, you (and me) got totally screwed over in the genetic lottery of pretty faces, but you now just decide to give up? Give up on girls? Why not just chop off you balls outright? Thoughts of girls won't even bother you then.

Yes, you might have acne, but you know what? They will be gone one day. And the day they are gone, you will be totally unprepared and ridden of the single excuse you had. And now... If you are acne-ridden fat boring guy living at your parents, then join a gym, start reading books, go on a trip and get a job, goddamit! Then you will be at least an acne-ridden interesting well-traveled independent man with great body and when the time comes you will be ready for girls and to catch up on everything you have missed during last years.

I know it is hard. Sometimes I don't want to go outside after I look in the mirror, but you know what? I still do. I get a huge cyst right before the party and you know what? Nobody cares! You ask me how many girls I pick up? None! But I experiment with the medications and I know one day my face will get better. And I will be ready.

Sorry, if the post was hateful or out of place, but men should not give up like that. There is just so much more to a man than just pretty face.

sums up everything.

Edited by arqa22

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*Moderator edit - Quoted post removed*

i have seen some couples where the woman has been beautiful and the guy has been uglier but ALWAYS the guy has been a complete asshole to the woman . . . .cheating, beating her, treating her badly etc, but that woman obviously has a character flaw to put up with a guy like that. I'm not making a sweeping generalisation but every couple i've seen where the woman is hotter than the guy it is a guy who treats her horribly and dosen't deserve her. I used to be under the fairytale assumption that if your a nice guy it dosen't matter about looks . . . .women will see past it, and with sum 7 billion people in the world there are some cases where that's true but like a guy winning a 100 million on the lottery and then running outside and getting struck 5 times by lightning . . . .it's not impossible but it rarely happens.

I've been on nights out with attractive female friends and in a drunken state we've walked along holding hands and i've had guys come up to me and start on me saying things like "you're not with HIM are you! if you are then i'll have to give him a smack". There's just something socially unacceptable about a hot woman dating an ugly guy, sad but true.

On the rare occasion that you see a hot woman with a not so good looking guy there is usually something more to it than just personality. That's not to say that we should all give up on women, we don't have to date a woman who's ten times better looking than we are, beuaty and attractiveness is subjective and everybody has their different idea of it.

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Success with the oppisite sex is subjective, i've seen women and men with acne or over weight or other appearence issues who have partners. I guess i fall into the category of people who are completley devoid of any contact with women. I haven't kissed a woman in 3 years (and that was only when i was drunk) and the only time i've talked to a woman is out of necessity (job interviews, buying something from the shop and talking to the woman behind the counter etc.)

I accecpted the fact a long long time ago that women just weren't interested in me and i got on with it. Maybe that is something positive that acne has given me . . . i've learnt to live with my own company and i kind of enjoy the freedom of being single. The problem is that i'm so used to not interacting with women that i actually go out of my way to avoid women, if an attractive woman walks past me in the street i look at the ground and avoid her, half due to habit becuase of my skin and the other half is kind of not torturing myself by looking at someone i know i can't have. I'm pretty invisible to women anyway.

If i woke up with clear skin tomorrow i would still have the same problem. I'm TOO used to not interacting with women and maybe a little TOO comfortable with being single. It's not a problem now because i'm fairly young but in a few years it could be a problem.

Is anyone else completley indifferent to the oppiste sex because of confidence or problems caused by your skin?

this is an interesting post.

are you ok with not having female friendships? or avoiding women? it sounds like you would like more female interaction, but i understand the hesitation because some females are too concerned with stupid shit. i can't count how many times i've talked to a girl my age, and i think, did she really just talk about celebrities for twenty minutes? then again, i am 22, so my peers are quite young.

i prob sound like a bitter woman, but i do think some women are great to be around. lol..

if you want to have more women in your life, make more of a point to talk to more women. no matter who it is. you'll find a meaningful friendship, or more than a friendship soon enough.

maybe you can find comfort in knowing there are a lot of shy people out there, but some people hide it well. it's natural to be nervous around someone you're physically attracted to. it's biology, man.

am i indifferent to all men? no. am i indifferent to the majority of men? yes. i think it is partly to do with acne, but i also have met many men who just want sex. there is nothing wrong with that, but it can get boring.

Edited by Jlisondra

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Success with the oppisite sex is subjective, i've seen women and men with acne or over weight or other appearence issues who have partners. I guess i fall into the category of people who are completley devoid of any contact with women. I haven't kissed a woman in 3 years (and that was only when i was drunk) and the only time i've talked to a woman is out of necessity (job interviews, buying something from the shop and talking to the woman behind the counter etc.)

I accecpted the fact a long long time ago that women just weren't interested in me and i got on with it. Maybe that is something positive that acne has given me . . . i've learnt to live with my own company and i kind of enjoy the freedom of being single. The problem is that i'm so used to not interacting with women that i actually go out of my way to avoid women, if an attractive woman walks past me in the street i look at the ground and avoid her, half due to habit becuase of my skin and the other half is kind of not torturing myself by looking at someone i know i can't have. I'm pretty invisible to women anyway.

If i woke up with clear skin tomorrow i would still have the same problem. I'm TOO used to not interacting with women and maybe a little TOO comfortable with being single. It's not a problem now because i'm fairly young but in a few years it could be a problem.

Is anyone else completley indifferent to the oppiste sex because of confidence or problems caused by your skin?

this is an interesting post.

are you ok with not having female friendships? or avoiding women? it sounds like you would like more female interaction, but i understand the hesitation because some females are too concerned with stupid shit. i can't count how many times i've talked to a girl my age, and i think, did she really just talk about celebrities for twenty minutes? then again, i am 22, so my peers are quite young.

i prob sound like a bitter woman, but i do think some women are great to be around. lol..

if you want to have more women in your life, make more of a point to talk to more women. no matter who it is. you'll find a meaningful friendship, or more than a friendship soon enough.

maybe you can find comfort in knowing there are a lot of shy people out there, but some people hide it well. it's natural to be nervous around someone you're physically attracted to. it's biology, man.

am i indifferent to all men? no. am i indifferent to the majority of men? yes. i think it is partly to do with acne, but i also have met many men who just want sex. there is nothing wrong with that, but it can get boring.

I think that's the best way to describe it. If i met a woman tomorrow who was girlfriend material and had everything i liked in a girl then i would go out with her but i don't go out of my way to find a girlfriend like so many guys i have known. It's mainly down to acne but also down to the fact that i'm fine wth my own company and kind of enjoy being single. Guy friends i have had in the past have thought i was weird for enjoying being single and not going out of my way to find a girl just for the sake of saying i have a girlfriend and having someone on my arm. Bad skin or good skin i'm just not a guy who's really bothered about having a partner at the moment yet everyone around me is like "you need a girlfriend" "when are you going to find someone" etc.

My avoidance of women has probably been worse in the past few years because for the first time ever i had steady female friends . . . and everyone of them put me down for the way i look, and not messing around friendly banter (which i'm cool with) but treating me like i'm a piece of dirt on the bottom of their shoe and always in front of another person and always right in front of me as if i'm not even there. That was a while ago and i haven't had any female friends since then but i try not to dwell on it too much because i'd rather just have acne than be bitter and have acne.

Edited by omarcomin

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ok, i'm prob going to get dangerously cheesy in this reply, so just warning you, OP.

applaud yourself for leaving those friendships behind. FUCK THEM. people who are always putting someone down and bullying, are childish, and think that people can't see how fucked up in the head they really are. but they are just projecting how they feel about themselves on someone else, and it's disgusting, but it's true. someone who feels the need to belittle others, and constantly criticize, is not a confident person, although i'm sure that's how they want to appear. you don't need people in your life that make fun of your appearance in a malicious way.

LOL @ people telling you that you are in need of a girlfriend. why are they so concerned with your love life? people mistake being single with being unhappy. sure, there are single people who aren't happy, and there are single people who are. i find it humorous that in this day and age, people can't distinguish between the two.

save your energy on a girl who you care about. even if it ends, i don't think you'll regret waiting for someone that you love being around.

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