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Guest brokencocoon

Thank you.

Guest brokencocoon

Hey everybody.

I just wanted to say thanks. I'm 28 and have been battling acne since I was 12 or 13. I'd say that when I break out I have moderate looking acne, but there are times that my skin is relatively calm and clear.

My skin has affected me in really debilitating ways...I quit school ultimately because of how much school I missed because I'd refuse to go because of my face (back when I was younger, I mean). I've never really been able to keep a job because I feel like I'd rather die than show up and have to face people and be judged...

And oddly (or maybe not so oddly), I can't even think of one person in public having made fun of me directly because of my skin. But it was my Mom that would make fun of me. She was the only one that gave me shit for it, and I think it just destroyed me, my self image, my self confidence, the ability to see myself as an attractive girl.

Anyway, I've been having an awful breakout, the worst I've had in years, and normally I'd refuse to go out of the house, refuse to function and I'd get very depressed laying around and crying, wanting to die...but finding this message board has really helped. And I mean REALLY. It's helped me shift perspective a bit, and the support and love you guys give and share with one another is so great, so inspiring.

Gives me strength.

Thank you, now I don't feel so alone.

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That's just the whole reason we're here Brokencocoon, because this is a serious issue, (acne) and its about time people took notice. I've ranted about how the whole acne, western society thing affects people so bad to the point we feel like outcasts or subhuman because of a genetic skin condition we have little or no control over.

Acne is part physical and biological, social and psychological. Because of this there are many aspects that can affect our lives. Until people understand that it isn't just because we dont wash enough or that we're not interested in our self appearance, acne will always be misunderstood.

I hope others can find strength from acne.org, too

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Guest brokencocoon

Thank you MATTOB. Words are powerful stuff, like a salve on a boo-boo, soothing.

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Hey everybody.

I just wanted to say thanks.  I'm 28 and have been battling acne since I was 12 or 13.  I'd say that when I break out I have moderate looking acne, but there are times that my skin is relatively calm and clear. 

My skin has affected me in really debilitating ways...I quit school ultimately because of how much school I missed because I'd refuse to go because of my face (back when I was younger, I mean).  I've never really been able to keep a job because I feel like I'd rather die than show up and have to face people and be judged...

And oddly (or maybe not so oddly), I can't even think of one person in public having made fun of me directly because of my skin.  But it was my Mom that would make fun of me.  She was the only one that gave me shit for it, and I think it just destroyed me, my self image, my self confidence, the ability to see myself as an attractive girl.

Anyway, I've been having an awful breakout, the worst I've had in years, and normally I'd refuse to go out of the house, refuse to function and I'd get very depressed laying around and crying, wanting to die...but finding this message board has really helped.  And I mean REALLY.  It's helped me shift perspective a bit, and the support and love you guys give and share with one another is so great, so inspiring.

Gives me strength.

Thank you, now I don't feel so alone.

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Guest brokencocoon

Hi Oakley!

Vancouver huh? Ever been to Portland? Mmmm...I love this area! So lush and green and stuff. Are you a native?

Paranoid you say?! Yeah, I can understand that(!). After all, I've been on the computer almost all day...I haven't set a foot outside much to the dismay of my antsy little dog that would just love to go for a walk (poor girl, she suffers right along with her momma).

This board is a godsend...my dearest closest friends end up having to listen to me pout and whine about it for days on end...so it's really great that I can actually direct that to people who really UNDERSTAND and KNOW what I'm talking about. That really does make all the difference to me. Having someone here respond to me is like opening a flood gate of tears and relief vs getting combative with my friends about how "they're just saying that" (because of course they tell me I'm beautiful and they barely notice what I'm talking about...blah, blah, blah).

But that shit just pisses me off! I'm like HELLO?! Are you blind? I don't tend to believe them because they also know how incredibly sensitive I am, and they aren't about to say anything that will make me feel worse.

How would you describe your skin? Like, if you saw your skin on someone else's face, would it freak you out?

And I don't know if I'm strange in this thought or not, but to me skin issues on boys are nothing compared to them on girls. What's up with my warped thinking on that one? eusa_doh.gif

How do you view girls with acne?

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I totally understand what you're saying about acne being worse on girls. If a guy had the amount of acne I do, I wouldnt think twice really. I would barely even see him as having an acne problem. BUt on me, I'd call it moderate acne cause I'm a girl! Maybe cause girls usually have softer smoother skin to begin with and any blemishes stand out so much more against it...that's a theory, anyway. Or maybe its that most women with acne cover it up with makeup so when you're just out and about you rarely ever see women with considerable acne...that you can see anyway... eusa_think.gif

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Guest brokencocoon

KatharineAnn,

I know! Whenever I see a girl out in public who has a skin problem I swear it almost makes me giddy. Not in a mean way, but in a "oh?! I'm not alone!" kind of a way. And it always makes me feel good in the sense that when I see a girl with an acne problem, (and it's not MY acne problem) it makes me consider that maybe, just maybe I don't look as awful as I think(?). When I see it on others I can see the beauty straight through the acne. I see the eyes, and lips and shapes of a person's face, but somehow when I look in the mirror, with myself, I can't see anything pretty- just pimples!

Fuckin' sucks eusa_wall.gif

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Hi!

I feel the same way about this place.

I've sat for hours and cried to my friends and family about my face while they look at me with that "I feel sorry for you and don't know what to say" face. They don't (can't) understand what I am going through because they have NEVER experianced acne.

I feel a real sense of fellowship here. smile.gif

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Hi Oakley!

Vancouver huh?  Ever been to Portland?  Mmmm...I love this area!  So lush and green and stuff.  Are you a native?

Paranoid you say?!  Yeah, I can understand that(!).  After all, I've been on the computer almost all day...I haven't set a foot outside much to the dismay of my antsy little dog that would just love to go for a walk (poor girl, she suffers right along with her momma).

This board is a godsend...my dearest closest friends end up having to listen to me pout and whine about it for days on end...so it's really great that I can actually direct that to people who really UNDERSTAND and KNOW what I'm talking about.  That really does make all the difference to me.  Having someone here respond to me is like opening a flood gate of tears and relief vs getting combative with my friends about how "they're just saying that" (because of course they tell me I'm beautiful and they barely notice what I'm talking about...blah, blah, blah).

But that shit just pisses me off!  I'm like HELLO?!  Are you blind?  I don't tend to believe them because they also know how incredibly sensitive I am, and they aren't about to say anything that will make me feel worse.

How would you describe your skin?  Like, if you saw your skin on someone else's face, would it freak you out?

And I don't know if I'm strange in this thought or not, but to me skin issues on boys are nothing compared to them on girls.  What's up with my warped thinking on that one? eusa_doh.gif

How do you view girls with acne?

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But it was my Mom that would make fun of me.  She was the only one that gave me shit for it, and I think it just destroyed me, my self image, my self confidence, the ability to see myself as an attractive girl.

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Guest brokencocoon
Brokencocoon,

I disagree with you on acne being worse on girls then it is on guys.  As a guy, all i have in this world to be successful is my face (at least, thats how i feel the world judges me).  Right or wrong, it's a horrible way to feel, especially in my case where i just feel so awful.

I totally know how you feel when it comes to friends, and family not saying anything about your face.  I too get annoyed. I feel as though they aren't being truthfull.  If i can see it , why can't they??? So to me it sounds totally bogus.

I love dogs as well, but alas I only have a cat, though he acts like he's a dog, and he loves me unconditionally, (thank god).

If i were to describe my skin, well, it depends on the lighting and such. For the most part the scarring i have is small ice pick types, which don't seem to be that deep...i think they are icepicks?  The acne is more prone to real flare ups, but there is always one dot somewhere even when the flareups aren't bad.

The biggest problem i have is my fear of mirrors and pictures.  I really feel as though i look hideous, and all it does is reinforce my negative feelings.

I can be having a great day, look in the mirror and just fall apart.  My friends think i am vain b/c of the time i spend looking at myself, if they only really understood the true reasons...

I am not looking in the mirror to determine if i am hot or not, i am looking at every little imperfection and psycho analyzing it to death..... NOT healthy!!!!!!!

When i see people with harsh scarring, i cringe, not b/c they look bad, b/c i have such a bad reaction to it myself, and i can't help but think that is what people see in me, even if my scarring isn't as bad as some peoples i have seen.  I think of the negative reaction i am having, and can't help but feel like others feel the same way about me when i am not around..... or maybe even when i am around...

I need to clear my skin up, and then take a better look, its hard to tell just how ugly you are, right after you shave, and have had hot towels on your face, thus making everything look even blotchier than normal.  Either way, no matter how I look to someone else, i feel one hundred times worse... and that is the biggest hurdle i have.

I was thinking of posting a pic or two, but i am a bit embarassed at the moment.

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Guest brokencocoon
That sucks about your "mom" she's like that. Mother's supposed to be more supportive and loving. My mom supports me all the way. I guess cause' she had acne when she was younger. She understands me. But, that sucks about your mom...

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I don't think you should be embarassed about posting a picture!  I thought about it myself, but I actually don't even HAVE a picture that shows my acne.  I will avoid having my picture taken at all costs when my skin is bad, and the ones that are bad, go in the damn trash.

I think it would be good though, to let people see, and really get feedback from people here, people that are understanding, honest and senstive.  Liberating even.

I've looked through the gallery, and there isn't a single person who I didn't see beauty in.  Some of them broke my heart because I can imagine what it feels like to attempt to face the world...but I just find it inspiring and brave.  There are great things that can come of going through crap like this.  I imagine us to be kinder people because of it, if it doesn't make you completely angry and hateful.  You know?

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