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jrmmudlover

Talking About It Openly For The First Time

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Hi all,

Despite spending the past couple years researching acne treatment methods, somehow acne.org escaped my radar. I've been perusing the forums for the past... geez, a few hours. I can't express how relieving it feels to know normal people just like me deal with the EXACT frustrations I have on a daily basis.

Acne has been my deepest, darkest insecurity ever since it became a problem. I claim to be unconcerned with image but my skin fills me with this severe shame I wish I could escape.

My story's a common one. I had relatively clear skin with a few mild break outs up until my freshman year of college. I got break outs and red dots, and in my panic sought out quick-fix methods that really only screwed me over in the end. Sophomore year things got worse 100-fold as I developed huge red bumps and puss-filled white heads all over my cheeks. It was the only thing I could think about. I tried my best not to let it bother me, but I could feel people noticing my break-outs and eventually associating the sight of me with acne. I pickled my face with every variety of treatments, but it wouldn't help and I became extremely discouraged.

Two years later, things have subsided a little but the struggle continues. Oddly enough, I went abroad last year and my skin cleared up somewhat during that time (I was on Retin-A and prescription pills at the time), though it looked "less bad" more than it looked "good." It at least got me to stop being self-conscious 24/7 about my appearance, and I eventually weaned myself off the prescription stuff to basic acne facial scrubs and things. That kinda-sorta worked for a while. Since the summer, however, my acne has gone back into "code red" and I simply depress myself every time I look in the mirror. I have less active acne but it still occurs regularly, and I have painful, itchy cysts that I never seemed to get before. The worst of all are these clusters of like 50 red spots on my cheeks-- hyperpigmentation (or, well, I'm not sure what to classify them as), which I'm not sure will ever go away since they've stuck around for 1-2 years now. I know my acne isn't the worst there is, but it's still what I would call moderate-to-severe and especially without make-up it's very distracting. I am greatly depressed because of it.

I've only been able to talk about this with my best friend, minimally. I can't admit it to my family or my boyfriend, who are also people that I really need support from. The shame gets me like I can't even describe. Posting-- even visiting-- this forum and verbally admitting my anxiety is the biggest step I've taken so far. I feel safe posting here after reading all the valuable input everyone has posted.

I haven't visited a dermatologist because they're expensive and I don't think my insurance covers dermatology. I'm 21 and in college so I'm broke as a joke. I've considered asking my dad if he would let me look into seeing a dermatologist, but approaching him about it just seems like an impossible task. Admitting this very obvious problem to him seems so shameful and horrifying, even though I know it's not the nightmare I stress myself out over. But he's the only one who can possibly make the dermatologist happen for me.

So that's me, with acne.

I guess what I'm looking for is encouragement... damn convincing encouragement. I just want to live a normal life, to be able to face my friends and boyfriend without hiding behind foundation, to think about something other than my lumpy, spotted face.

Thank you all for listening. We are all undergoing an individual struggle, but it's nice to have a place where we can come together and spread notions of positivity.

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go on the regimen [cheap+effective]

buy benzoyl peroxide and use it

go on birth cotrol pill

take spiro\saw plametto [any kind of anti androgen]

all of the above thigs will clear[or at least improve] your acne

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u mentioned clusters of pimples and itchiness, my vote is that you try fighting acne from a candida perspective (if you haven't tried that already). Please give this a try. exactly 1 month and a 1/2 in for me now and it has really saved my life.

As for the derm, I would honestly try a holisitc approach before I go that route BUT, I do suggest that you talk to your dad about the acne problem. Listen, hes your dad, he loves you no matter what and he will do anything to help you. There is no shame, nothing to worry about when it comes to family. I think talking about it with at least your dad will make you feel a ton better.

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I agree on fighting your acne from a candida perspective. Acne should not itch. Mine did. My face was always itchy. I started taking Candex, and my skin is almost clear and 0 itchiness whatsoever. Candida induced acne as more common then people think. You'll love the support here. Its amazing. Also, possibly posting pictures of your skin may give us a better idea on what to suggest, and to "give it to you real". I recently posted pictures of myself, and I never thought I would do that. I always saw my skin is horrible, but everyone said it was almost clear. I'm like what?!

Anyway, best of luck to you, and if you have any questions about the candex supplements, feel free to message me, or tuffluck. And use the derm as a LAST resort, if all else fails, and you need to get prescribed a birth control pill or accutane.

Edited by Murph89

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Thanks all for your input and words of encouragement! It honestly means the world to me.

I agree on fighting your acne from a candida perspective. Acne should not itch. Mine did. My face was always itchy. I started taking Candex, and my skin is almost clear and 0 itchiness whatsoever. Candida induced acne as more common then people think. You'll love the support here. Its amazing. Also, possibly posting pictures of your skin may give us a better idea on what to suggest, and to "give it to you real".

Edited by jrmmudlover

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Well...its definitely not severe I can tell you that straight up. Candida is definitely no joke. Its one of those things you would never think of, until you treat it just to knock that possibility out, and your skin clears up. Thats been my case. Have you tried Accutane? I know you said you dont have insurance, but I would look into that since youve had so many treatments than have either given you false hope or failed. If Accutane didnt work, then its definitely something internal. Candida a yeast infection pretty much. Those would be my 2 recommendations. Accutane for the last option for treating the outer laying cause of your acne, or if you want to start attacking from inside, candida would be a start, as well as possible birth control. Many women on here have had success with Spiro. Its amazing what a hormone imbalance can do to your face. Best of luck to you!

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Dont be afraid to discuss it. On here or with your family, without discussing you will struggle to find your cure.

I wouldnt bother going to a dermatologist. They will prescribe you antibiotics and creams that in my experience only make it worse in the long run.

Try to keep everything you use natural. And to get rid of acne, you need to try and figure out the cause, its no good treating whats on the outside if you cant get rid of whats causing the problem. Diet changes can often dramatically improve your acne.

Another tip i would give is always research thoroughly what you are going to use before you use it. So many times i have jumped into using something after seeing a couple of good reviews for it to go horribly wrong on me. Just because something works for one person doesnt mean it works for everyone.

Have a good look around these forums, a lot of good ideas on here.

And remember, we all have our insecurities, dont be afraid to talk about them!

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Welcome to the board! I remember the feeling of relief when I discovered this forum, before then I simply had no one to talk to about my skin and those insecurities kinda built up on me over time until it became pretty debilitating. As you've tried Retin-A and antibiotics before I personally would recommend going to a derm for further advice. I regret spending years trying ineffectual treatments just hoping that acne would go away or that one day I would 'grow' out of it; that never happened and in end I had to take an aggressive approach in prescription treatment for my skin as it wasn't responding to anything else. Good luck, we're all in this together.

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I know... I recently posted on the forum for the first time and I honestly cried because it is hard talking about it and it hurts. It is something that most people cannot understand unless they've lived through it. I work in the medical field and have seen many horrific things... one thing that keeps me going is to think of all I have to be grateful for and how much worse my life could be. ex: burn victims and facial trauma. It still gets me down though, some days are better than others. Lemme say this in retrospect to my personal situation.. I have many scars from my struggles through teen years with acne left untreated.. my parents never took me to see a derm and the results from that are greatly worse than the active acne itself. I do urge u to speak to to your father and get the treatment you need right away so you are not left forever scarred. Pride is a huge thing and just now at 29 I recently found the strength to seek help for my scarring. It was so hard and emotionally draining to talk openly about the social effects and insecurities this has caused. If I.can do it so can you. Youve taken the first step by signing up for this webpage. Please reach out and seek treatment before you get permanent damage :) You can do it!!!! Best wishes*

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I'm so sorry for your pain; I know it can be very frustrating and lonely at times. People who have never experienced severe acne problems just don't understand how emotionally devastating it can be, and unfortunately, our culture and media only make things worse. I experienced the worse breakout of my life about six months ago, and I'm still shocked at how much I have changed as a result of this experience...I developed depression and severe social anxiety, it was awful. I'm slowly recuperating but I still have a long road ahead of me. But remember that you are not alone!

As far as treatments go, I have visited several derms over the years, I tried antibiotics and all kinds of topical creams, but nothing really worked; it was very discouraging.. I was on Dan's regimen for almost three years (it worked well at first, but then my skin just wasn't happy with it any more, so I stopped). I finally decided to get try to get clear using the holistic route and so far the results have been very good:-). I realized that I have to clear my acne from the inside. I've made lots of diet and lifestyle changes, and I've stopped using all products on my face and only use natural ingredients like manuka honey, aloe vera, jojoba oil, yogurt, and lemon juice. One website that has really helped me is thelovevitamin.com founded by Tracy McCollough, a girl who cleared her severe acne naturally.. She gives a lot of great information and advice. if you decide to take this healing route, just remember that it takes time and when you first start taking in all the information, it can be overwhelming. I would suggest that you take things slowly at first and make small changes, instead of diving right in.

I wish you the best on whatever road you wish to take!

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Thank you all for your feedback!

I experienced the worse breakout of my life about six months ago, and I'm still shocked at how much I have changed as a result of this experience...I developed depression and severe social anxiety, it was awful. I'm slowly recuperating but I still have a long road ahead of me.

Edited by jrmmudlover

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Hey, I know how you feel. For me, talking about my skin is one of the worst things to do. I've never opened up to my friends about it because I just can't open up to them about my biggest insecurity. The only people who know are my family. That's why I would suggest telling your dad or mom about how you feel. They may not fully understand what it's like to have acne, but they are your parents and will sympathize. My mom helped me through a lot of my worst acne breakout last year, and is the one who sent me to a dermatologist which has improved my skin significantly. Now, I barely get any pimples; if I do, they're tiny clogged pores around my nose, no pustules or nodules like before.

It's not good to keep this all inside. Even opening up on here is not enough. I definitely think you should tell your parents. They love you and want you to be happy, so they will understand and sympathize. Acne is not an easy thing to go through, by any means, especially when it's moderate-severe acne. (I would call your acne moderate, btw, not severe) I really think a dermatologist can help you.

Also, maybe consider seeing a counselor at your college? Colleges usually offer counseling for free, for a semester. It can seem scary to talk to a stranger about your biggest insecurities, but it really does help. You may cry, feel vulnerable, etc. but these people are professionals and can help you deal with this.

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what? guys! were all here cuz we hate our skin, dont be embarassed about it! (easier said than done, i guess) but really, acne is right there on your face, id rather talk about having acne than something that people cant obviously see, cuz then they would say "really? you have __?" and then things would get kind of awkward. but for acne, its a lot easier to talk about casually, since everyones at least had one pimple in their lifetime, and you dont even have to let on that you care about it so much

acutally now that i think about it, im more afraid of people finding out that i care about my skin so much. like at school, i act like im not that embarassed by my skin, but im scared to post my picture on here in case someone i know sees and finds out that i post in forums about acne hahaha

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what? guys! were all here cuz we hate our skin, dont be embarassed about it! (easier said than done, i guess) but really, acne is right there on your face, id rather talk about having acne than something that people cant obviously see, cuz then they would say "really? you have __?" and then things would get kind of awkward. but for acne, its a lot easier to talk about casually, since everyones at least had one pimple in their lifetime, and you dont even have to let on that you care about it so much

acutally now that i think about it, im more afraid of people finding out that i care about my skin so much. like at school, i act like im not that embarassed by my skin, but im scared to post my picture on here in case someone i know sees and finds out that i post in forums about acne hahaha

No, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I don't WANT people to know I care so much. Mostly because I want to give off this "I don't care" attitude that I believe if I have, other people will have too, regardless of what's on my skin. It's like when you see people with acne who seem happy and don't care, you seem to notice their acne less, you know? Except for me....I can't fake happiness, so when I'm sad, pretty much everyone can tell.

I've never told any of my friends about my skin because if I do get a big pimple or something I don't want them to see it and then think "oh god, she's probably going crazy". I'd rather them see it and not know how much it bothers me. Although I've told my friends about how insecure I am, I've never mentioned my skin specifically. I don't give a damn about my weight or body or anything....I actually like my body a lot. The skin on my face is what bothers me the most.

But talking about it to people close to me really DOES help. The times when I've felt so low, my family has helped tremendously with keeping me afloat. I don't know what I'd do without them. That's why I recommend opening up to someone you can trust.

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aww really? my friends and i talk about skin really openly. we even had this thing where after lunch at school we would use blotting paper and sing f**k you by cee lo green

what? guys! were all here cuz we hate our skin, dont be embarassed about it! (easier said than done, i guess) but really, acne is right there on your face, id rather talk about having acne than something that people cant obviously see, cuz then they would say "really? you have __?" and then things would get kind of awkward. but for acne, its a lot easier to talk about casually, since everyones at least had one pimple in their lifetime, and you dont even have to let on that you care about it so much

acutally now that i think about it, im more afraid of people finding out that i care about my skin so much. like at school, i act like im not that embarassed by my skin, but im scared to post my picture on here in case someone i know sees and finds out that i post in forums about acne hahaha

No, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. I don't WANT people to know I care so much. Mostly because I want to give off this "I don't care" attitude that I believe if I have, other people will have too, regardless of what's on my skin. It's like when you see people with acne who seem happy and don't care, you seem to notice their acne less, you know? Except for me....I can't fake happiness, so when I'm sad, pretty much everyone can tell.

I've never told any of my friends about my skin because if I do get a big pimple or something I don't want them to see it and then think "oh god, she's probably going crazy". I'd rather them see it and not know how much it bothers me. Although I've told my friends about how insecure I am, I've never mentioned my skin specifically. I don't give a damn about my weight or body or anything....I actually like my body a lot. The skin on my face is what bothers me the most.

But talking about it to people close to me really DOES help. The times when I've felt so low, my family has helped tremendously with keeping me afloat. I don't know what I'd do without them. That's why I recommend opening up to someone you can trust.

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