I Really Need Help **pictures Included**

[Murph89 193]

I have put this Off for a while, because I didn't want to see what my face looks like in a picture. Literally, my skin has taken over my entire life. I don't do anything. Literally....nothing. My life is at the all time low, almost as low as it can get. I never thought I would end up like this. I'll be 23 in 9 days. I had worse skin from 19-21. Skin cleared up beautifully by my 21st bday, and it lasted 16 months. That day ended 7 months to today.

My skin started out breaking out my cheeks one weekend in Vegas exactly 7 months ago. I got home, and the area around my nose was bright bright red. Was told it was seborrheic dermatitis. That's not my concern anymore because it's not very noticeable. My right side of my cheeks is my issue. It's just covered in red marks. I have tried so many things, but my skin is so fucking sensitive I really have to be careful. Also, my chin bet rarely gets pimples, but it's CONSTANTLY red. I believe it may be a type of dermatitis. You can sort of it see it in the pictures. My right side of my chin is super smooth, but always red, no matter what. Has some dryness as well.

My left side of my chin is blotchy red, and smooth, but I can feel the blotchyness. My left side of my cheeks is farely clear, as you can see, but it's always red and dry. My forehead is fine. Usually I always have blackheads, and I'll get a pimple or 2 occasionally, but they to away without leaving scars or red marks, unlike my cheeks.

The area arond my nose, like I said, is always redish is well, and seems to correspond with my chin. If my chin is red, my nose is red and visa Vera. Also, my scalp is always itchy, oily, and flaky. I've tried numerous products for that, to no avail.

My regimen is this:

Wash my face morning and night with Shea terra organic African black soap that has rosehip oil, coconut oil, and other natural essential oils. It does not break me out whatsoever, I just can not given rid of my red marks and redness on my chin.

I take candex pills for candida/yeast/ twice a day, and activated charcoal pills twice a day.

After I cleanse at night, I moisturize with either emu oil, jojoba oil, or I just tried tamanu oil. Been trying that for 2 nights, and no noticeable improvement.

My chin has tiny tiny white flaky areas, which leads me to believe it may be a type of dermatitis, because like I said, I very rarely get a pimple there.

Ive tried: doxycycyline, numerous retinoids that end up making my skin worse, countless face washes. The candex definitely, without a doubt, had reduced the pimples I get. I used to wake up with a new one every day, now I don't, which is nice, but the red marks are just so fucking stubborn and will not lightin no matter what I try. I've tried BHA, and it helped, but my skin got used to it very quickly and wouldn't respond to it anymore. AHA broke me out. I'm scared about those acid peels you can get from estheticians. I just don't know what to do. Im thinking lemon juice, but I'm scared bc my skin is so damn sensitive.

My diet is clean. Fruits, veggies, meats, limited gluten, no chocolate, no alcohol, no sweets, very limited sugar only from fruits and some coconut milk.

Im thankful that my skin is not nearly as bad as some on here, and I'm grateful for that, but the red marks make my skin look like it has acne. Like I said, my life is completely taken over by this. It is all I think about, and yes, suicide has been on my mind, not gonna lie.

My life fucking sucks right now. I live across th country from where my family and friends are. I have my aunt here, and a second cousin, that's it. My aunt doesn't even remotely know how I feel about this, bc I isolate myself in my room. I have a developed a very trusting relationship with my therapist who knows about all this, and says I have a form of OCD and I see my skim worse than it is. Everytime I look in the mirror, I literally stare in it for minutes on minutes, criticing every little thing. I end up almost crying as I walk out the bathroom and bury my face in my pillow.

I need this gone. I keep telling myself, "accept yourself the way you are" but I can't. It's so fucking hard because I was clear 7 months ago, and did EVERYTHING! All my friends know me as the social guy, and if they were to see me now, it would be demorilizing for me. I go home I'm 9 days, and I really want to make a dent in these red marks. I don't care what my family thinks, because they have seen me at my worst, but I wanna see friends, but I don't know how I can with my skin like this.

Thank you all for reading. Pictures are below. It's bathroom lighting, but it's farely bright, so it's not natural lighting. Lay it out on me and tell me exactly how good or bad it is, and what I should try next. I love you all!

Edited September 2, 2012 by Murph89

[Tony1990 17]

Murph I'll be absolutely honest with you, I always see your posts everyday and I had imagined your acne to be somewhat moderate from what you described it as to be. But from the pictures your acne is very mild brother, be happy man and I'm serious if my face was like yours right now i'd be so happy, I think you just need to keep doing what you're doing keep right now and don't change anything ( since you said you hardly get pimples anymore) Be positive because your emotions is very important when it comes to acne. The red marks will eventually fade but it might take some time.

I'm seriously happy for you that all your current regimen is working for you. Keep it up!

[nfamousjade 70]

Omg Murph you look so good! What are you talking about! U seriously need to be happy because you look great, that girl shouldbe happy. Ur a good looking guy no joke.

[Ghostunit 130]

Finally pics of you ^^;; Your skin looks smooth and almost clear! At least no scars

[Lilly75 473]

You're skin looks great! Really - what you have I'd say is on the mild end of the spectrum. And it's definitely not the first thing a person would notice about you in my opinion.

Everyone else seems to agree that you and you're skin are looking good, so hopefully that'll help how you see yourself and your skin

[AbyBar 77]

MURPH !!! I'm a lay it on you, your skin is totally fine, I think you are to harsh on yourself . Definitely go on that date with that girl because if you don't someone else will steal her away. Seriously this is from a woman's point of view your a very appealing guy and those blemishes you so revolve your life around are so minimal . However, I know that it still may affect you but just try to enjoy life . Your young and handsome

Enough said

[gingergirl22 55]

I agree with everyone else that your skin looks great! I hope you find a way to pull yourself away from the mirror and get out and embrace life. Please don't put yourself under so much stress over your skin.

[Torquemonster 31]

Murph, your condition looks kind of mild. I can relate to what your feeling because I have a mild condition and let it get to me sometimes too. I'm not qualified to give skin advice, but go see a dermatologist and just try to work through the issue as best you can. Don't let this stuff take you down. I know it seems bad, but things could be worse. Believe me, I know. I'm a 50 year old dude that has fought and won over alcoholism, drug addiction, pot addiction, cig smoking, heart attack, etc. You are a young fella with a lot of life left to live. Enjoy yourself a bit and try not to worry about the skin so much bro. Easier said than done, but just do it.

[ocean27 1]

Wow, your skin looks fantastic!

I noticed that you take 2 activated charcoal pills everyday - what do they do?

As for the white flaky areas you mentioned - I don't think it's dermatitis, it acutally looks like you have dry skin in those areas.

and the redness, it kind of sounds like you may have some rosacea but a derm would have to confirm this.

Your regime sounds great so far and I'd continue to power on with it cause natural is always good right?

[snsdgirl14 142]

Your skin looks great. Honestly, it really does - not just saying that! It hurts to hear you say that you've essentially stopped living because of your skin. When someone has severe acne, I can understand, but yours isn't severe at all! And nor are your red marks! I think you should look into therapy, maybe it'll help you realize you actually have good skin. Go out and live! 'Expose' yourself a little bit more everyday. It'll help, I promise. And try to always see your face as a whole and not focus on little red marks. No one notices those.

[Binga 150]

Your skin is just sensitive. Don't put anything harsh. I think stress and depression is the reason for your acne. Do hardcore baba ramdev yoga/meditation and drink a cup of fresh vegetable/wheatgrass juice.

[MJRI94 55]

Agree 100% with what Tony1990 said, your skin is fine

[Need Solutions 12]

Yeh man your skin is good just to add to whats already been said. If I walked past you in the street I would definately not think of you as having an acne problem. I think them red marks will just gradually fade over weeks and months without doing anything at all to them. From your posts I expected it to be 10000000X worse than that.

I understand 100% how we all see our skin as been 10x worse than it really is but you genuinely have nothing to worry about and I mean that.

Wish you all the best of luck man.

[Exister 60]

That's more or less how my skin looks when it's at its best. Maybe a little better even. I'd be stoked if mine was like that right now. Also, you're a handsome dude so I wouldn't worry about it.

[Randall Flagg 360]

Holy crap Murph....your skin is in great condition! I'm being 100% real with you. You just have few hyperpigmenation marks, and they're barely noticeable at all. Definitely go on that date and enjoy yourself because your skin is not even close to bad, that girl won't even notice that.

[Murph89 193]

Wow you guys are all amazing. You all put a smile on my face that I really needed. Thank you

I'm just gonna continue with what I'm doing, and just wait for the marks to heal. Again, thank you all. I go home in a week from tomorrow and I see my ex 3 days after. Nervous but gotta act confident which I used to be.

[snsdgirl14 142]

No reason to be nervous, your skin looks great. Just as normal as anyone else's skin. Your ex won't notice a thing. (And I definitely don't think you need makeup!)

[billz7 3]

Your skin looks CLEAR

[Ilovemesomevanity 97]

what. when i saw the title, i was expecting to see like a mountain range of zits. your skins perfectly fiiiiine

[trentaaron 0]

Im jealous....great skin!!!!! Hang in there ok.

[Clearwaters 21]

Murph, if I woke up everyday with skin as good as yours I'd be smilin'. Sure, there is some slight redness but it's so minor and the majority of your skin is in near perfect condition, young and healthy looking. Get out their and enjoy being young and good looking.

Despite saying this, I think it was very brave for to post your pics and expose yourself to feedback - I congratulate you. I could never. See, people would see mine and say along the lines of 'sure, your acne is not too bad but have a look at your skin aging, worry about that instead!' hmmm.

[AKL 1238]

Murph89, man...I can only echo what everyone else has already said. As Tony1990 mentioned: keep doing what you're doing, and don't change anything. Those red marks -even though they suck right now- will fade, it just takes time.

You all put a smile on my face that I really needed. Thank you

[Murph89 193]

I wish I could post a picture of myself smiling everytime I read every one of these posts. You guys are amazing and are making me feel a lot, ALOT better. I guess we are our own worst critics. I had such bad skin (in my thought) for 5 months, that when it's almost clear like you guys say, it's hard for me to realize it because I'm still in that negative state with my skin.

Shit, keep the self esteem boosting comments coming! I haven't had a self esteem boost like this in 7 months

[AKL 1238]

I wish I could post a picture of myself smiling everytime I read every one of these posts. You guys are amazing and are making me feel a lot, ALOT better. I guess we are our own worst critics. I had such bad skin (in my thought) for 5 months, that when it's almost clear like you guys say, it's hard for me to realize it because I'm still in that negative state with my skin.

Shit, keep the self esteem boosting comments coming! I haven't had a self esteem boost like this in 7 months

I'm sure Dan would have to install some extra harddisks to host all the pics in which you're smiling! Keep it up, Murph, you're well on your way! Kick that negative mindset in the butt! You can do it!

[Lilly75 473]

I wish I could post a picture of myself smiling everytime I read every one of these posts. You guys are amazing and are making me feel a lot, ALOT better. I guess we are our own worst critics. I had such bad skin (in my thought) for 5 months, that when it's almost clear like you guys say, it's hard for me to realize it because I'm still in that negative state with my skin.

Shit, keep the self esteem boosting comments coming! I haven't had a self esteem boost like this in 7 months

I think you're right - we are our own worst critics most of the time.

Glad to hear you're feeling better and are smiling! You have every reason to be feeling that way.

Have fun when you go back home in a few days to meet up with your ex and friends/family. It will be fine I'm sure!