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guys, guys, i need your help..i'm gonna

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Calle him up. And seduce him. Dress up sexy. Guys, love when women take control. I mean...I have my own experiences. I hope this helps.

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he drinks too much. yeah jay, i got it, i know i'm stupid, in the 2 1/2 years we've been apart though i haven't found any greener grass. and he is tasty smile.gif

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Mending an old relationship is the biggest form of self pitty. Get over him. Two and a half years is a long time. A normal person can get over someone's death in 6 months. So why can't you get over a relationship in a two and a half year period. If your love is so strong for him then why did you break up in the first place??

My advice: Get over him and get a grip.

He is propably gonna say no. My ex GF asked me back and I said no.

Good luck.

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I've been in several serious "loving" relationships. Last one was 2 months ago and it lasted 8 months. So I have been in love. But you have to realise that there are other fishes in the sea.

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ok questions. i never broke up with him out of lack of love, more like frustration that he comes from a f**ked up family. his mom and dad are both alcoholics, hence his "need" to drink. he is not a bad drunk. more like a kid (although he's 29) who wants to drink with his buddies on friday and saturday. he also likes to have a few beers after work. he says he feels like he deserves it, it helps him relax. i never understood the need for alcohol to relax. we fought a lot about that. to me drinking is an on occasion thing.

he never cheated on me or abused me. i always loved him. i just couldn't deal with all the drama in his family.

he could never really seperate himself from them, we used to live up the street from his mom and dad and that was hard. one gets drunk and they want to come and talk to us, at midnite no less, nevermind that i have 2 sleeping babies. i couldn't deal with that. i felt my kids and i were better off closer to my family. although they are not the most friendly and loving bunch we all work (what a concept in his family except he has always worked too) and get along decently enough. i have kind of a live and let live family.

now about last night, i didn't exactly dress sexy in a trampish way. just some jeans and a tastfully low cut blouse. we made some good love. more than once. condoms of course. i did make the first move, but he "melted" in my arms. wub.gif i felt kind of bad cause his girlfriend was waiting for him at his house and he never went home. we stayed in a hotel. ohhh how ghetto that sounds. lol. a lot of old emotions came back. it is hard for me to show love cause i always have to be the tough one, the one with the control but i finally let my guard down, 10 years late, but i allowed myself to feel all of the emotions and stuff. i realized i love him. don't know if that is good or bad.

i'm kinda wondering what kind of hell he's going to get from the gfrnd for this. he said he wants to be with me but he's really afraid that he is going to look stupid to go "running back to me" and just get his heart broken again. he wanted me to stay with him but i told him i had to get back, the kids remember..his kids..i asked him if she lives with him and he said "she stays alot" so i am guessing that means pretty much she does, just hasn't moved all her stuff in. i know that cause i was just there on monday. i told him to lie to her. i've never been "the other woman".

why i haven't goten over him in 2 1/2 years. 1 we didn't break up out of lack of love. 2. i never grieved over this in the first place. this is the first time i am really thinking of this.

he called me about a half hour ago, he wasn't home yet, he stayed at the hotel until check out time. he said he wants to see me again. he asked me "if we get back together, how confident are you that you will be able to be with me forever?" i told him i am sure if we both make an effort and decide that quitting is never the answer, thatn we can make it happen. he'd have to live with me though, near my family. i told him when he wants to see his, he can just go see them, i don't want my kids around when the drinking and fighting are going on. he said he understands now why i broke up with him. that he realized i did what was best for me and the kids.

doctor doom, i am hoping he will say yes. if he does not than i know i have to take this as a lesson learned. i've tossed my dice, now i have to see where they land.

thanks for your support.

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you are sooo right elsa, i hope that doesn't happen. i aksed him if he wants to see me again. he says yes. i'd be stupid to accept a role as the other woman, so i will not sleep with him again unless i know it will work out. i also told him i don't want him to get back together with me if he will regret leaving his girlfriend. i told him to think it through cause 10 years from now i don't want him to hate me for ruining what could've been between him and her. and that if he got back with me he could not cheat and be with her so i said don't even say yes to me if you think you'll be tempted to be with her as well cause i can't handle that.

him and his brother are really the only semi-normal people in his family. i talk to his brother still via email, i sent him an email asking him what he thought, as in should i just leave him alone but he has not responded to me yet. his brother has always told me noone in the family blames me for making my decision, they all understand. his mom told me to get him to be with me. she always did want us together. this is funny. i feel like i'm living a soap opera. one day i will look back at this time with lots of laughter. biggrin.gif

his other brother called me last week and asked me how me and the kids were doing. he told me i love you mija, you're still my favorite sister in law. sometimes i can be so mean to his family cause they all drink and it really bothers me, but overall they have always been good to me. i'm confused.

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one other thing, i talked to him on his way home from the hotel and i told him sorry for making him cheat on his girlfriend. he is the type of guy that would take a stray animal and i don't believe he's ever cheated on any of his girlfriends. he said you didn't make me do anything, i made my own choice. i said sure you did but i presented it to you, that may be selfish of me. i said do you regret being with me. he said no i would never regret being with you.

thanks for letting me ramble, as you can imagine there are a thousand thoughts and emotions flowing right now. you guys are the greatest.

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Guest >:(

I suggest you take him back even if he hasn't changed, but justify everything bad about him. With a little cognitive dissonance, you can turn any man into a knight in shinning armor!

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ahh the rosy outlook, the power of prospective. no more justifying, i think i do that enough.

i talked to him, he works nights so last night i picked him up from work that's how this worked out. well he's at work again and i asked him how it went with the gfrnd. he said he told her he went to his cousin's house (the lie i recommended) and she doesn't believe him. she was of course very upset. they have been together for less than a year is what he told me. that's kinda long. sad.gif

she has two kids but is losing them in a custody battle. from her standpoint i understand why she hangs on to him, he's probably the ony happy thing in her life right now. she does not work. she just sits and waits for him to see her. he said most likely he will break up with her cause he wants to see me more but he has to get the courage to do it. i did not comment.

i asked him if he needed time. if he wanted me to leave him alone so he could think things through, if i'm going to fast. he said yes but not if i will leave him alone forever. he told me to give him a week to think about things.

i told him i will not be the other woman, no more sleeping with him. he needs to make a choice.

thanks for all your sound advice, you really are the greatest wub.gif

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