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Someone tries to tell you it's not that bad, and all you can feel is hate. You hate yourself. And you hate that they will never understand. Because they will never have to feel what it's like. you try to make yourself feel nothing, so you don't have to feel the constant wanting to be anything but who you are. What you are. Because everyone is disgusted by you. Pretty soon it works. All wrong. You feel nothing but that, wanting to be anything but what you are. You can't love anyone. But you can't hate them. After all, they have everything you always wanted. You don't want to die, because you never thought you would. Why would you? The only thing you want is to feel anything but what you already do. Sometimes you don't mind it though. Not feeling anything. Makes it easier to be alone. The only thing you want to stay. 

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I went through all the feelings that you are talking about -- stayed alone for a long time. I finally resolved my problem, even got rid of my acne and had minimal scarring from all the invasive treatments. But once you have gone through years of dealing with this, I would still look in the mirror and think my skin isn't good enough, even though everyone told me I had beautiful skin. So I went through more treatments. Between the two treatments I had -- Profractional Laser and ArteFill injection -- I now have white streaks on my face and a lump on my chin. I wish I could turn back the last 2 1/2 years of my life and left everything alone. The white streaks I can hide with makeup but the lump, which I have tried to fix will not go away. My chin will never look the same again. Now I am back to where I started -- Alone.

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It's a cruel, destructive thing. People who don't have to deal with it think "So what, a few pimples who cares." But it's a mentally and emotionally, life destroying thing.

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no one can understand whos never had it, its definatly a mentally and emotionally, life destroying thing.Some people spent years hiding in there rooms away from bad lighting miss oppertunirty turning down events just shying away from the world. i would class it as a definate illness if you become to obessive with it , its hard for some one to comperhen when you tell them you dont want to go into the room if the room is too brightly lit or its hands too low.

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