Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Anta

Clear Skin-->Breakouts---> Clear Skin---> Breakouts (And Repeat)

Recommended Posts

I feel emotionally exhausted because I don't know what skin I will to wake up to in the morning. It is frustrating to get a taste of clear skin only to have it taken away from me the next day. I am trying to keep a positive mind-frame because if I let my acne get to me I would not have the motivation to do basic everyday tasks. However, because I don't start school until Fall, and I am only taking an online course this summer, I have been keeping myself indoors and cannot even muster the courage to go outside. I admit my acne is not bad, but the red marks left behind are destroying the little self-esteem I have left. I know that someone will scoff at my post when they read it, because to them I am only dealing with temporary marks. Being a girl, I have the privilege to hide them with makeup, but that doesn't make me feel any better. In fact, I feel worse because I know what my skin looks like underneath it all. One of my least favorite activities of the day is removing my makeup at night because it reveals my biggest insecurity (my skin). Right now, I don't have to worry about that since I am at home. When I am in college I am surrounded by many clear skin individuals, and I cannot help but feel a tinge of jealousy. I even begin to resent those who I consider good acquaintances and destroy any possible friendship I could forge with them. I see that I have become a bitter person. I am trying to change my mode of thinking because it is not healthy. However, any methods I have tried only provided me with temporary relief. I revert to my negative self when I get horrible breakouts or see these disgusting red marks on my face. I feel like I am fighting a futile battle with acne and red marks because no matter what I do they always come back. I am not one to make a big deal about a minor bump or red mark, but when they multiply it is really easy to become discouraged. The only thing that is keeping my mind from thinking of negative thoughts are the coursework that needs to be done. Even so, there are times when I cannot stop thinking about my skin. I keep promising myself that I would only look at my skin in the mirror when I have to apply my treatments, but that didn't stop me from running to the mirror time and time again. I guess the saying "old habits die hard" stands true in this situation. I am just here to vent, since no one understands what I am going through, not even family members. No one in my family has acne. They all have perfect skin and yet I am stuck with this disease. "Why me?" is the question that often comes to mind. People in my family can go to bed with only washing their face with water. They don't need to apply fancy treatments or spend half an hour putting on makeup to fake an acceptable looking skin. I just wish that my skin could stay clear for once. Is that too much to ask? Every time my skin is close to being decent, I get sudden breakouts that leave red marks on top of the ones that I already have. This happened more times than I can count. Even when my skin clears up, there would always be painful remainders of the past acne. It's either acne or dark spots, sometimes both. I am just so sick and tired of trying to deal with it. Is there anyone who can relate? I just feel so alone.

Edited by Anta

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can relate, you are not alone in your struggle. My skin has been doing the same recently. It used to be permenantly bad but since I finished taking antibiotics in August last year and stopped using anything for my acne, my face goes through spells where it is bad for 4 weeks, good for 2, bad for 4 weeks again. No idea why. Totally agree that acne has the ability to consume your life. It has an emotional impact to one degree or another on everyone who experiences it. It doesn't help that just about every potential 'treatment' has horrendous side effects and many a time doesn't work.

The best advice in regards to your confidence I reckon would be to sit down with whoever is your closest friend at college and have a proper, in depth discusssion about how you feel in regards to your acne and the effect it has on your life. It will give you a chance to let someone else who cares about you know just how much you are struggling. If they are a good friend they will support you and help you to make your life a little bit brighter. You will gain some confidence by having those conversations about how you feel and whilst it might not solve things, it will help you.

When my acne was terrible last year, I confided in a good friend at uni about how I was struggling and he was nothing short of brilliant about it and was 100% supportive. Even today, he will still ask every now and then about my acne or comment when my face is having a 'good day'. I think we actually became closer friends as a result because prior to this, I had been very guarded in my conversations because the acne was eating me up inside. Don't get me wrong, I still have some very bad days/weeks as a result of acne, but I have a little bit more confidence than I had before.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah I can 100% relate. I had horrible skin from 19-20 1/2. Skin finally cleared up 100% and life was amazing and I was back to my old self after hiding who I was for over a year. My skin was clear for about a year, then bam, broke out horrible. Been dealing with it for 4 months. Pretty much ruined all my life plans. My skin is getting better and better and I think I finally found a solution for my issues. I know it's really hard to keep your head up. Just know you won't be like this forever. Do sme research and I'll guarantee you'll find products that work for you. Treating acne is trial and error. I can't tell you how many topicals and derm visits ive had in the last 4 months. I found something on my own that works. I truly believe you will too. Stay strong.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it sucks that we can't have a nice life at these ages.. A LOT of people have been suffering from acne since 10 and up.. most of them get worse into their 20's or even 18-19. It sucks that we might have clear skin at 30-35. Those with clear skin are enjoying their youth.. they go to parties, get laid, dance, etc.. while most of us always think of skin. This sucks a lot... I am actually glad that I am one of those person with skin problems because I am a vegan raw. If it wasn't for my skin, I wouldn't learn about nutrition. I learned a lot and I want to educate in the future. I don't care if i have acne; as long as I eat healthy, I am keeping myself protected against diseases and cancers.

Also, my skin looks healthy, just that I have red marks and some pimples. The funny thing is that I am the only member of the family with acne and I eat the healthiest..=\ I'm not giving up! I'm still trying different things to treat my acne scars and redness. I am not breaking out at all which is good.. but I do get a pimple or two sometimes. Usually small ones.

Edited by EddieE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it sucks that we can't have a nice life at these ages.. A LOT of people have been suffering from acne since 10 and up.. most of them get worse into their 20's or even 18-19. It sucks that we might have clear skin at 30-35. Those with clear skin are enjoying their youth.. they go to parties, get laid, dance, etc.. while most of us always think of skin. This sucks a lot... I am actually glad that I am one of those person with skin problems because I am a vegan raw. If it wasn't for my skin, I wouldn't learn about nutrition. I learned a lot and I want to educate in the future. I don't care if i have acne; as long as I eat healthy, I am keeping myself protected against diseases and cancers.

Also, my skin looks healthy, just that I have red marks and some pimples. The funny thing is that I am the only member of the family with acne and I eat the healthiest..=\ I'm not giving up! I'm still trying different things to treat my acne scars and redness. I am not breaking out at all which is good.. but I do get a pimple or two sometimes. Usually small ones.

Im 31 and my acne is worse than hs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it sucks that we can't have a nice life at these ages.. A LOT of people have been suffering from acne since 10 and up.. most of them get worse into their 20's or even 18-19. It sucks that we might have clear skin at 30-35. Those with clear skin are enjoying their youth.. they go to parties, get laid, dance, etc.. while most of us always think of skin. This sucks a lot... I am actually glad that I am one of those person with skin problems because I am a vegan raw. If it wasn't for my skin, I wouldn't learn about nutrition. I learned a lot and I want to educate in the future. I don't care if i have acne; as long as I eat healthy, I am keeping myself protected against diseases and cancers.

Also, my skin looks healthy, just that I have red marks and some pimples. The funny thing is that I am the only member of the family with acne and I eat the healthiest..=\ I'm not giving up! I'm still trying different things to treat my acne scars and redness. I am not breaking out at all which is good.. but I do get a pimple or two sometimes. Usually small ones.

Im 31 and my acne is worse than hs

Aw, maybe you're going to stop getting acne after that one. I broke out a lot, worse than ever and now I am clearing up and not breaking out at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

seriously acne has to be THE most mysterious thing ever.

I can relate to everyone here. bam it appears. then its gone for a week then its back 5x worse then things look better then its back ..its here to stay its just a matter of which degree at and i fear gravely at what extent it can get to . already lost my friends, job, schooling, family etc. eats away at life big time and it sucks that no one does understand that doesnt have it. and its annoying how we're the people that live the healthiest etc etc etc.

sigh. you know sometimes i dont even wish for a magic cure all.. i just wish i could understand WHY my acne has appeared and why cant it be changed ? there was a poll a while ago that determined humans were most terrified of things we cant control than anything else in the world. its not fun living a life where you cant control your acne. it controls you it really does. and the people that say 'oh but dont let it control you' havnt had it bad enough in my opinion to feel the full affects of what acne can do to people.

we're definitely not alone thank god for this board but it sucks we all cant just go hang out together >.<

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree FSAS, thank god for this board. It provides some stress relief. I have been experiencing the same thing Anta, my skin isn't horrible (it used to be much worse) but I always have 3-5 pimples, but rarely I will be completely clear. These are the days I go out on dates and hang out with friends, I have pictures up on facebook and people say I look like a model but then the acne comes back and my friends and dating gets pushed to the back burner and I just focus on school. That's my excuse, that I'm busy with school but really i want to have solid relationships; It's just hard because I can't accept this part of myself. I hate that I think I'm ugly. I really want to work to incorporate this part of identity, even it means accepting that i'm ugly. ermm.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×