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scarsscars

My Relationship And Scars

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Hi I have some pretty bad scars they are not much noticeable in day time when I am in sun but iin the room lighting they are very noticeable. My skin tone is not great either I have very harsh and uneven skin tone. I have never had any girlfriend in my entire life because of this fear. In fact I started a relationship with a girl in college who one day texted me during the conversation and asked why I have scars and she told me that she didn't like them. I was very much embarrassed and I told her I will get them treated. She eventually broke up with me after a month long friendship. Although I am pretty good looking (as all my friends tell me) but still I want to have an okay skin not a perfect skin but an okay skin to face this world and not being made fun around girls. I recently developed a distant relationship with a girl in Australia and I am in South Africa she tells me that she likes me very much because I look good in pictures and videos and scars are not noticeable. She has very soft skin and she tells me she wants me as her life partner. I am really confused next year she is coming over here. I just don't know what to do. If she sees my scars and she is like ewwwww! you have scars I never want to point it out to her that look I have scars because that will be just gross. I just don't know what to do with my life. If she also rejects me I am like dead. I don't want any relationship after this. So how much you girls care for scars and uneven skin tone if a guy is good looking and is in good shape. Guys please be realistic and give me some pretty real replies how would you react. I don't want her to think that I have been photoshoping my pictures. Please be real. Should I find a girl with acne scars specifically? I am dead depressed. Thank you guys

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Not all girls are going to judge you based on your scars, however I feel you should be honest with this girl beforehand as to not take her off guard or make her feel like you were photoshopping your photos. Don't make it a big deal, just mention it during a conversation.

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If I were you, and I am so nervous about how she is going to react about my real face(with scars)..., then I'll take a photo of myself with a good camera, and in my worst room lighting possible, and send it to her privately along with some photos of my room. I'll tell her like...'I want to show you my room before you visit me, hope you like it =)!' Then she'll be able to know I have acne scars, and she'll be able to decide if she still wants to keep talking to me or not(I don't want to tell her obvious ways...like...,Hey~, I have acne scars on my face...:'( etc...because I don't want to show her my insecurity etc, because I haven't even met her..).

In this way, you won't surprise her when she'll visit you, plus you might feel less insecure to see her with your acne scars =)

I know many people's photo online are retouched, or they don't really look like their profile photos in real life(use some angle to make them look better and such lol) My scars are the same, I can't really capture them with my camera.

Sorry to hear about your bad experience in the past, but hope she'll like you with or without acne scars!

Good luck scarsscars surprised.gif

Edited by myskin2012

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If I were you, and I am so nervous about how she is going to react about my real face(with scars)..., then I'll take a photo of myself with a good camera, and in my worst room lighting possible, and send it to her privately along with some photos of my room. I'll tell her like...'I want to show you my room before you visit me, hope you like it =)!' Then she'll be able to know I have acne scars, and she'll be able to decide if she still wants to keep talking to me or not(I don't want to tell her obvious ways...like...,Hey~, I have acne scars on my face...:'( etc...because I don't want to show her my insecurity etc, because I haven't even met her..).

In this way, you won't surprise her when she'll visit you, plus you might feel less insecure to see her with your acne scars =)

This is a really good suggestion! I'd take this advice.

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Thank you myskin i really appreciate the help..i have done this in the past..but in that picture my scars were not much noticeable. I have told her too that i have acne. NyakBR- I am too afraid to mention because i don't know what her reaction would be. I had to take it in the past and i was ashamed. I am just afraid. Thank u very much guys...i appreciate the help

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In fairness to both of you, you need to just tell her you have scars. If she doesn't like you over your scars, then she wasn't the right girl for you. It's not the end of the world if she rejects you. There are many girls out there who will like you for who you are, scars and all.

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I am sorry man, but you really need to change your mindset before you do anything. Read R. Don Steele or someone like that. I know I had worse scars than you and I married the prettiest girl in town - twice(same girl). You have to man up and forget that "this is the only girl for me" crap. The only girl for me right now is a beautiful 19 year old brunette and a 33 year old beach bunny blonde. A girl can sense lack of confidence. Seriously, read "Body Language Secrets" by R. Don Steele, and understand what kind of signals you are putting out there. I am not going to pat you on the head and say it will be allright.

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Dudley said what I couldn't bring myself to say. Although, he also sounds a bit like a womanizer, and I wouldn't really agree with that mindset either.

Honestly, if I was into a guy I met online (highly unlikely this would ever happen) and he was so insecure over his scars that he couldn't tell me and instead sent me pictures of his room with side shots of his scars, I would think he was weird & immature. It would be a major turnoff.

I have to think you're young and inexperienced which contributes to your lack of self confidence. Confidence is a good thing but don't be overly confident either. Just be real and secure with yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, you're never going to attract the right person. When I was younger and dating, I went out with a guy a couple times, and decided I wasn't that interested. When I refused to see him again, he said to me, "Good looking guys are a dime a dozen, but only a few are unique & have it all like me." I laughed so hard and thought, "thank goodness!" He was way too into himself. Some girls like arrogant guys. I am not one of them. I don't like insecure guys either. Now, to me, there's a difference between having insecurities and being insecure. In other words, you can be secure with the fact that you have insecurities. You are obviously not at that point.

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he was so insecure over his scars that he couldn't tell me and instead sent me pictures of his room with side shots of his scars, I would think he was weird & immature. It would be a major turnoff.

I never said to sent her close up acne scars photo LOL It would be really weirdo lol.gif LOL Well, enough to show her his 'real skin' look like.

But to meet someone online...you don't know what you get until you meet them in real life..it sounds easy but at the same time very complicated..., because the person might be a serial killer~...lol

I agree about 'confidence'. I don't want to date with a guy who is constantly crying over his insecurity, and I am sure no one wants that, doesn't matter you are a guy or girl. I don't mind some level of insecurities because no one is perfect, really.

Don't be 'too' afraid to do things before you even try it(It's okay and normal to have fears or insecurities, I am sure everyone does...!). And don't let your past stop you from trying something you want! Then you might lose your big opportunity, and I am sure you'll regret. I once lost the person I loved because of my insecurities. He kept telling me he didn't care and he loved me. He really cared about me, and we were dating years. But at the end, I pushed him away. It was my mistake and I'll never do it again.

I know I had worse scars than you and I married the prettiest girl in town - twice(same girl). The only girl for me right now is a beautiful 19 year old brunette and a 33 year old beach bunny blonde.

Dudley you have two girlfriends? shock.gif LOL

Thank u very much guys...i appreciate the help

No problem, feel better...=) and I really hope she is liking you for who you are!

Edited by myskin2012

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TokyoGirl, LOL I am not a womanizer, but I wanted him to know that you can't be down on yourself and expect someone else to find that attractive.

MySkin2012, that is a long story, and it won't last.

ScarsScars, TokyoGirl is correct that you do not want to come across as arrogant, just confident. If you come across as needy or clingy girls will run from you no matter how good you look. Instead of meeting girls online, meet them face to face. Cyber girlfriends will only take you so far.

Henry Ford Quotes

henryford122817.jpg

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

Henry Ford

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henryford122817.html#tVxs8cYf2ueQvXYH.99

Edited by DudleyDoRight

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In fairness to both of you, you need to just tell her you have scars. If she doesn't like you over your scars, then she wasn't the right girl for you. It's not the end of the world if she rejects you. There are many girls out there who will like you for who you are, scars and all.

I know dudley but now I am kind of obsessed with her. It is easier said than done. I have started liking her.

NEVER BE DEPRESSED. It's road that everyone must walk through, just maybe for different reasons. Just to be who you are smile.png .

Thanks for the cheer up :)

TokyoGirl is correct that you do not want to come across as arrogant, just confident. If you come across as needy or clingy girls will run from you no matter how good you look. Instead of meeting girls online, meet them face to face. Cyber girlfriends will only take you so far.

Thanks dudleydoright for the nice quote. I am not an arrogant person lol.. though I used to be but not anymore. I know some guys come off really pretentious which is obviously a turn off. I am not pretentious nor arrogant. She isn't bad either but I am not sure what would be her reaction.

he was so insecure over his scars that he couldn't tell me and instead sent me pictures of his room with side shots of his scars, I would think he was weird & immature. It would be a major turnoff.

I never said to sent her close up acne scars photo LOL It would be really weirdo lol.gif LOL Well, enough to show her his 'real skin' look like.

But to meet someone online...you don't know what you get until you meet them in real life..it sounds easy but at the same time very complicated..., because the person might be a serial killer~...lol

I agree about 'confidence'. I don't want to date with a guy who is constantly crying over his insecurity, and I am sure no one wants that, doesn't matter you are a guy or girl. I don't mind some level of insecurities because no one is perfect, really.

Don't be 'too' afraid to do things before you even try it(It's okay and normal to have fears or insecurities, I am sure everyone does...!). And don't let your past stop you from trying something you want! Then you might lose your big opportunity, and I am sure you'll regret. I once lost the person I loved because of my insecurities. He kept telling me he didn't care and he loved me. He really cared about me, and we were dating years. But at the end, I pushed him away. It was my mistake and I'll never do it again.

I know I had worse scars than you and I married the prettiest girl in town - twice(same girl). The only girl for me right now is a beautiful 19 year old brunette and a 33 year old beach bunny blonde.

Dudley you have two girlfriends? shock.gif LOL

Thank u very much guys...i appreciate the help

No problem, feel better...=) and I really hope she is liking you for who you are!

Hey I would never trust anybody I met over internet either but let's not forget there are billions of people in this world and out of those billions there are always chances of people finding their life partners through unimaginable ways. Like I said she is not that bad but I am just concerned what would be her reaction. I just wanted to know what do girls think if a guy has scars. I am just worried that even if she didn't notice the scars that much in first few meetings what if I am sleeping and she comes near me only to find out that I have scars. lol just weird imagination..Thanks guys..Thanks for your help.

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