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Hi,

I just came across this website not too long ago and feel compelled to write something, as I'm having a very difficult day. I've been suffering from cystic acne since I was 12 years old and have tried just about everything possible under the sun. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be, my face for the majority is clean except I get two or three ENORMOUS cysts on my chin area.

I don't know what else to do. I just started a job five months ago, and have played the 'ill' card to avoid going into work because of how people will perceive me. I work with very shallow, gorgeous females and it pains me to look this way.

I've had about four days off work now, calling in sick. I've had cysts on my face for a week now and have tried everything to get rid of them. They're almost gone but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't slather on some more makeup and pretend it looks okay because this is not okay. I've lost a week of my life.

I spoke with my boss this morning and basically if I call in sick anymore, I will lose my job. This is just horrendous. I want to just crawl in a hole forever. I can't bear to look at myself and I feel awful for letting the people I work with down. I feel ashamed letting myself down again and again.

I needed to vent. I'm sorry.

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Sorry to hear how you feel. Having acne sucks, and its good to vent sometimes. Have you tried using Paula's Choice BHA gels or lotion? They contain salicylic acid and works great for me. You can also order samples too which is helpful.

In the meantime, make sure you drink 8 glasses of water- that is what I am doing; I am trying to clear acne internally as that is where the source of the problem lies. I also take fish oil capsules and multi-vitamin tablets as well.

I also heard Kiwi smoothies are great for getting rid of internal toxins.

Dont let acne overcome your life, it will only make you more depressed! Whe I went on holiday I had a friend who had really bad acne, but because she just carried on with life and didnt wallow in self-pity, every one just saw her for who she is- and that is a really nice, fun person.

Hope you beat the annoying buggers. Will pray for you...

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Thanks. I haven't heard of that brand, hopefully it's available in Canada here.

I hate letting it ruin my life - I wish I could just soldier on, but I'm so embarrassed of it. Many dermatologists I've seen tell me they can't help me or all ready prescribe medicines that I've informed them before have not worked. I stopped taking birth control too as I found it was actually making it worse.

I'm just having a really bad day with it. I've had myself a pity party for the last few hours, thinking to myself maybe one day I won't feel so trapped under my skin - if that even makes sense.

I know people who have it so much worse than me and face the world every day. I wish I had the confidence and muster to do the same.

Thanks for the advice!

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Don't apologise for venting, it helps a great deal to get what you are feeling out into the open so to speak, instead of just bottling it up inside, especially to like minded people who know exactly what you are going through, for me especially when you mention cysts - I get the buggers pretty much daily!

Biggest thing I would say would be to capitalise on what fullofgrace mentioned about not letting your skin overcome your life. I did exactly that last year and it ended up being the worst year of my life (granted I'm not that old so haven't experienced so much but it really was rough). My skin consumed everything I did from when I woke up until the moment I went to sleep, I actually looked forward to sleeping because it was a time where I could completely 'escape' it, lol. This happened for months because I did nothing about it, I didn't change my mentality and just thought it would end somehow - well it definitely didn't until I changed my mindset. Its a spiral downwards and the longer you let it go on the harder it is to get out of it, you have to challenge yourself to change how you feel.

I found acne.org and built on from there, this site is fantastic for all things acne so use it to your advantage! Nowadays I feel so much better about my skin and just happier over all. My acne is still there just as bad as it ever was but with the psychological aspect is under control, things are so much better. I still get bad days, everyone does but you can't let them swallow you up.

Hope you feel happier soon smile.png

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Welcome to this website! Hopefully you'll find it awesome and helpful when your down adn depressed and in the mindset that you sound like your in right now. Trust me, I completely relate to feeling like you are, Im feeling that way right now to be honest! And I have work in an hour so please dont feel alone-____-

Quite honestly, Im not going to give you any advice on how to "soldier on" as you said, because I havent got there myself yet lol (when i figure it out ill let you know!). But I will tell you that this site combined with a GOOD dermatologist will help you tons. Attack acne from both sides, this site for the emotional side and a good derm for the actual getting rid of it side!! I went to a derm that I hated for a long time, skirting around my questions, never really helping me, pushing me out of office, so I transferred to a different one and I cant even tell you how helpful shes been in this battle. Its a long journey, but we're all in it together! Dont lose hope and faith, it'll get better. (even if were 80!) haha JOKES.

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You guys are very kind, haha. I was made fun of when I was a younger teen with acne and it's sooooo damaging to a girl's self esteem. Guys too I don't doubt, don't get me wrong, but god - the kids were hard on me, but I was my worst critic. I begged my mother when I was 12 years old to get me Proactiv, which did work for a year or so - my face wasn't clear but better. Then it just stopped working all together. I've tried so many products, different birth control and dermatologists, I'm still trying to figure out how to control it. It seems the worst for me now is majorly my chin and sometimes nose. I've given up on the blackheads, it's the cysts I want gone completely.

I'm 25 now, and I feel like an ogre without make up on. I think if it weren't for my bad skin I'd be an attractive girl. I went into work today - I felt and looked awful. My face was done up well enough that it wasn't obvious, but at some point during the day my skin was noticably bright red and dry skin under the make up. It looked bad, and I could tell people were looking at me. FML. I avoided going to the bathroom as long as possible so I wouldn't see myself in the mirror.

Dating scares me, my ex had 'perfect' skin and was pretty understanding. I hope to find a more compatible guy with the same kind of empathy about it, one day.

I've kind of pinpointed that yogurt and cheese definitely make me break out. Pizza seems to be the worst. And I love pizza, but not enough to be a pizza face (bad pun).

I will definitely check out this site some more. I've taken notice of the different diet and cleansing regimes.

I am just so sick of living this way. I'm thankful to know I'm not alone though, maybe coming on here will help me cope with the emotional part.

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