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katiekins

When I Get Depressed About My Skin, I Tell Myself _______!

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hey, i "reached my quota of positve votes for the day" lol

Oh well, there's still tomorrow :P

but thanks and Ill be doing the same for your nephew(:

Thanks! I'm sure it'll help! :)

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My skin is virtually clear now, but its not perfect. I tell myself "you know what Matt, fuck it. No ones perfect" I feel at peace when I tell myself that.

Edited by Murph89
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My skin is virtually clear now, but its not perfect. I tell myself "you know what Matt, fuck it. No ones perfect" I feel at peace when I tell myself that.

I love it! I think your on to something, about not holding yourself to ridiculous expectations. I find myself getting down on myself for not looking and being "perfect," or whatever, when I should just start trying to accept my imperfections. Thanks matt!! And congrats on the virtually clear skin, how'd you do it share your secrets! Haha(: wicked cool.

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When feeling just a bit under the weather, which usually happens in the morning, I sometimes listen to a peppy song about sunshine or love* and eat a massive bowl of granola with nuts and fruit in it. Perhaps some tuna instead. Silly, yes, but effective to no ends!

When the feeling is quite a lot more melancholic, a bit depressive even, many times I turn to taking a shower, putting on my best oxfords and simply going out. I just start walking. As I traipse about in crowded areas, I often end up noting how few people actually pay attention to others and that nearly everyone else is as self-conscious as the next person. This, as well as the fact that having acne has no material effect what I can accomplish, has me arrive at the reality that I simply have more important things to do. Brushing off the despondency is made much easier when things are put into perspective.

*This one is a personal favorite.[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liyiT_DGREA

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^ i love oldies. mostly motown, but that song has a nice beat.

focusing on things i do like about myself helps. keeping a journal also helps me vent my feelings out, and gives my poor best friends a break from my complaints. now, i'm not health nut, but exercising makes me feel better in general.

OP, you're doing what you can for your skin. most people have the luxury of washing their face twice a day, moisturizing, and basically only getting an occasional pimple. unfortunately, that normally doesn't cut it if you have acne-prone skin. don't beat yourself up. it's unnecessary, and the rest of the world is already going to do that for you. try to stay positive because being negative isn't going to help you move forward.

Edited by guacohmy
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I often end up noting how few people actually pay attention to others and that nearly everyone else is as self-conscious as the next person. This, as well as the fact that having acne has no material effect what I can accomplish, has me arrive at the reality that I simply have more important things to do. Brushing off the despondency is made much easier when things are put into perspective.

*This one is a personal favorite.

I love the part about acne having no material effect on what I can accomplish! WOW that already makes me feel so much better. and your sooo right about the fact that nobody pays attention to each other, as we're all too focused on our own problems. That'll make going to work this week a lot easier if I keep that in mind!!!

Thank you so much.

^ i love oldies. mostly motown, but that song has a nice beat.

focusing on things i do like about myself helps. keeping a journal also helps me vent my feelings out, and gives my poor best friends a break from my complaints. now, i'm not health nut, but exercising makes me feel better in general.

OP, you're doing what you can for your skin. most people have the luxury of washing their face twice a day, moisturizing, and basically only getting an occasional pimple. unfortunately, that normally doesn't cut it if you have acne-prone skin. don't beat yourself up. it's unnecessary, and the rest of the world is already going to do that for you. try to stay positive because being negative isn't going to help you move forward.

Haha, you complain to your friends too? I thought I was the only one who does that(; lol. But do they ever have any helpful advice for you? mine dont seem too lol, just because they've never had bad skin a day in their life-____-

Yes, I do agree that keeping my journal has helped me a lot. And I figure that one day Ill get a laugh out of reading it to my teenagers! Even though it doesnt seem like a laugh right now... Do you keep just a general journal or just one about your skin and the problems that come with that?

YYYYAAAAY for exercise!! Thats been my coping method of choice lately.

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You stood that close to Paul??? HOW? omg, I would have died....

He played a one-off show in a small club in Liverpool the Christmas before last. I waited eight hours in line, in the freezing cold and snow, to make sure I was right at the front. Totally worth it! I filmed 'Yesterday' which, funnily enough, is a perfect example of a song which picks me up. Always gets me thinking about time and how it passes - much in the way we might be depressed one day and look back a few days later then wonder what the fuss was all about, or maybe something happens somewhere else in that time and it makes us see just how good things actually are for us. smile.png

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You stood that close to Paul??? HOW? omg, I would have died....

He played a one-off show in a small club in Liverpool the Christmas before last. I waited eight hours in line, in the freezing cold and snow, to make sure I was right at the front. Totally worth it! I filmed 'Yesterday' which, funnily enough, is a perfect example of a song which picks me up. Always gets me thinking about time and how it passes - much in the way we might be depressed one day and look back a few days later then wonder what the fuss was all about, or maybe something happens somewhere else in that time and it makes us see just how good things actually are for us. smile.png

HOLY CRAP!! That is seriously so amazing, thats a story and a memory that you will have and cherish for the rest of your life!! I would have loved to see him, hes my favorite Beatles "personality" ( I mean... what wouldnt I have given to be Linda McCartney??!!) although my favorite "musical" Beatle is Ringo. And yes, Yesterday is a great song!!

Life is short and when I get depressed about something like my skin, even though it doesnt feel trivial to me, I am going to remind myself that I have to make the best of the time I have and when my day comes I want to have a lot of positivity to remember.!!

That thought really scares me... The thought that when I die, I will have more memories from having bad skin and being miserable than I will have of being happy. Thats why I started this thread, because hey, if the accutane doesnt work, I NEED to find ways to make it through my life with bad skin and still manage to enjoy it. You know what I mean? I dont know if Im making any sense((;

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Reading self help is definitely the way to go! I started a blog about personal development just a year ago and I have to say that it has helped tremendously. This post I wrote here opened up my heart: http://selfexceed.co...topping-denial/

ooooooh, I was gonna ask if anybody used self help books!!! Im so glad you brought it up! What are some books that you recommend? Im going to go get them lol!!! and I will check out your blog, (:

^^^^ i love the part about the alarm clock in your article!!! very nicely written.

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Reading self help is definitely the way to go! I started a blog about personal development just a year ago and I have to say that it has helped tremendously. This post I wrote here opened up my heart: http://selfexceed.co...topping-denial/

ooooooh, I was gonna ask if anybody used self help books!!! Im so glad you brought it up! What are some books that you recommend? Im going to go get them lol!!! and I will check out your blog, (:

^^^^ i love the part about the alarm clock in your article!!! very nicely written.

Out of all that I've read, by FAR the best book is Think and Grow Rich. I linked to you the latest version. It's so inspirational and it really makes me believe that anything can be done only if you want it bad enough. And trust me, you will WANT it bad enough after reading into a few pages, it's THAT good.

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Reading self help is definitely the way to go! I started a blog about personal development just a year ago and I have to say that it has helped tremendously. This post I wrote here opened up my heart: http://selfexceed.co...topping-denial/

ooooooh, I was gonna ask if anybody used self help books!!! Im so glad you brought it up! What are some books that you recommend? Im going to go get them lol!!! and I will check out your blog, (:

^^^^ i love the part about the alarm clock in your article!!! very nicely written.

Out of all that I've read, by FAR the best book is Think and Grow Rich. I linked to you the latest version. It's so inspirational and it really makes me believe that anything can be done only if you want it bad enough. And trust me, you will WANT it bad enough after reading into a few pages, it's THAT good.

AHH perfect, thanks so much!! I want to get into reading self help and also into meditation/yogao even though I dont know anything about it. I read one of your topics about getting back up after acne brings you down, and you said that learning to love yourself and not caring what people think is really important. Ive been taking baby steps towards that lately like running with minimal makeup and going to work with minimal makeup. I know its small but Im trying to teach myself not to put so much value into what other's opinions are of me. Thanks for reminding me of that, and being a success story for that!! Keep it up, Den.

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I'm just gonna go ahead and jump in here with my personal musical suggestions if you don't mind haha......music has been quite possibly the only thing that's gotten me through the stuff i've had to put up with over the past 6 years or so, it really helps. When it gets bad I go into my room, turn off all the lights, stick on a massive pair of headphones, shut my eyes and just escape into the music....it's like leaving the real world for a short time :)

I like to listen to chilled out, relaxing tunes that set my mind straight, and here are a few suggestions if you wanna check them out:

Groove Armada - At The River

Bonobo - Silver

Aim - Another Summer

Fat Freddy's Drop - Big BW

Hope that helps you!

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(Helpfull thoughts)

Oké I am getting depressed about my skin.

I had it before.

This is going to be hard.

It is no use to get depressed or stressed over it.

There are worse things.

I will get over it.

There is no use in getting frustrated with myself or anything else.

There is no use in taking myself to serious.

There is little I can / could do about this.

Just relax.

What can I do today and what do I want to do.

All I have to do is be patient and things will get better.

If I keep depressed I listen to music or watch a movie.

If it get's really bad I plan to sport at the evening, running etc.

If I get stressed and can't sleep I take valium.

(socially)

I cannot express myself today.

I'll have to accept that.

Me and a miljon others.

People don't really notice.

Life is a challenge for a lot of people.

People are too busy with themselfs.

If they had a skin condition they would feel unconfortable themselfs.

This is how I am at the moment, if they don't like it, they can get lost.

It's no use to think about what others think, the best I can

do is make this as easy as possible and cope with this mentally.

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I'm just gonna go ahead and jump in here with my personal musical suggestions if you don't mind haha......music has been quite possibly the only thing that's gotten me through the stuff i've had to put up with over the past 6 years or so, it really helps. When it gets bad I go into my room, turn off all the lights, stick on a massive pair of headphones, shut my eyes and just escape into the music....it's like leaving the real world for a short time smile.png

I like to listen to chilled out, relaxing tunes that set my mind straight, and here are a few suggestions if you wanna check them out:

Groove Armada - At The River

Bonobo - Silver

Aim - Another Summer

Fat Freddy's Drop - Big BW

Hope that helps you!

Hey of course I dont mind, I love it! Thanks for the awesome suggestions, Ive never heard any of them but luckily Im laying on my couch listening to music right now so Ill escape into your world for a bit(: Ill let you know if I like them(; haha but seriously thanks. Music is powerful and healing.

Sometimes I feel like my problem is I get to thinking so much and then all my thoughts get overwhelming and I almost feel claustrophobic in my depression lol like its never going to get better. But Im gonna start popping in my headphones whenever I get sad or some Dane Cook! He always works for me too... (:

(Helpfull thoughts)

Oké I am getting depressed about my skin.

I had it before.

This is going to be hard.

It is no use to get depressed or stressed over it.

There are worse things.

I will get over it.

There is no use in getting frustrated with myself or anything else.

There is no use in taking myself to serious.

There is little I can / could do about this.

Just relax.

What can I do today and what do I want to do.

All I have to do is be patient and things will get better.

If I keep depressed I listen to music or watch a movie.

If it get's really bad I plan to sport at the evening, running etc.

If I get stressed and can't sleep I take valium.

(socially)

I cannot express myself today.

I'll have to accept that.

Me and a miljon others.

People don't really notice.

Life is a challenge for a lot of people.

People are too busy with themselfs.

If they had a skin condition they would feel unconfortable themselfs.

This is how I am at the moment, if they don't like it, they can get lost.

It's no use to think about what others think, the best I can

do is make this as easy as possible and cope with this mentally.

YES THANK YOU FOR POSTING THESE!!

When I first posted this topic I was thinking along these lines like helpful thoughts I could repeat to myself. And whats fuunny is how I use some of these same ones that you do!! I am going to start using, "all I have to do is be patient and it will get better" and also, "If they had a skin condition they would feel unconfortable themselves."These are all great suggestions, I hope you believe all of them yourself because you seem like a strong and smart person. Best of luck with this acne struggle! Keep in touch!

^^^^^^ oh and I also think that the word "accept" is really powerful. If I learn to accept that Im going to have a bit of a hard time until I figure my skin out, then Ill stop beating myself up about it everytime I do!!!

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I often end up noting how few people actually pay attention to others and that nearly everyone else is as self-conscious as the next person. This, as well as the fact that having acne has no material effect what I can accomplish, has me arrive at the reality that I simply have more important things to do. Brushing off the despondency is made much easier when things are put into perspective.

*This one is a personal favorite.

I love the part about acne having no material effect on what I can accomplish! WOW that already makes me feel so much better. and your sooo right about the fact that nobody pays attention to each other, as we're all too focused on our own problems. That'll make going to work this week a lot easier if I keep that in mind!!!

Thank you so much.

^ i love oldies. mostly motown, but that song has a nice beat.

focusing on things i do like about myself helps. keeping a journal also helps me vent my feelings out, and gives my poor best friends a break from my complaints. now, i'm not health nut, but exercising makes me feel better in general.

OP, you're doing what you can for your skin. most people have the luxury of washing their face twice a day, moisturizing, and basically only getting an occasional pimple. unfortunately, that normally doesn't cut it if you have acne-prone skin. don't beat yourself up. it's unnecessary, and the rest of the world is already going to do that for you. try to stay positive because being negative isn't going to help you move forward.

Haha, you complain to your friends too? I thought I was the only one who does that(; lol. But do they ever have any helpful advice for you? mine dont seem too lol, just because they've never had bad skin a day in their life-____-

Yes, I do agree that keeping my journal has helped me a lot. And I figure that one day Ill get a laugh out of reading it to my teenagers! Even though it doesnt seem like a laugh right now... Do you keep just a general journal or just one about your skin and the problems that come with that?

YYYYAAAAY for exercise!! Thats been my coping method of choice lately.

i rarely complain to my friends about acne. i mostly complain just here. lol..i meant complaining to them about life in general. yea, it's definitely hard to try and complain to someone about your skin when they have an almost perfect complexion. that's y i almost laughed when a derm practically looked @ my face for a few minutes, wrote a perscription n basically could have said "next.." when i left the room. she had perfect skin. it's very liberating to have a friend that also struggles with acne because you can be very candid.

i keep a journal for everything. especially my skin frustrations!! it's good for me bc i have a bad memory, so when i reread entries, i start to remember things. one time i documented a whole conversation i had with a guy @ work bc he made such an impression on me..n then by some random chance we became friends..i told him and he was like wow..that's really flattering. ahahhaa. he was such a cool guy, though, so i knew he wouldn't think too much about it.

you sound determined to keep things in perspective, so i'm sure things will work out. keep your head up.

Edited by guacohmy
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I listen to music too, its my biggest 'therapy'. The songs/style I listen to depends on how I am feeling but it all helps so much in keeping myself together. I like to listen to a wide spectrum because I feel music can make you think and feel in so many different ways than normal just by hearing it and its always easy to acess

Edited by MJRI94
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i rarely complain to my friends about acne. i mostly complain just here. lol..i meant complaining to them about life in general. yea, it's definitely hard to try and complain to someone about your skin when they have an almost perfect complexion. that's y i almost laughed when a derm practically looked @ my face for a few minutes, wrote a perscription n basically could have said "next.." when i left the room. she had perfect skin. it's very liberating to have a friend that also struggles with acne because you can be very candid.

i keep a journal for everything. especially my skin frustrations!! it's good for me bc i have a bad memory, so when i reread entries, i start to remember things. one time i documented a whole conversation i had with a guy @ work bc he made such an impression on me..n then by some random chance we became friends..i told him and he was like wow..that's really flattering. ahahhaa. he was such a cool guy, though, so i knew he wouldn't think too much about it.

you sound determined to keep things in perspective, so i'm sure things will work out. keep your head up.

haha I hate bad derms that treat you like that?! You wonder how they wanted to deal with acne ridden people all day, when they have crystal clear skin. They dont understand what its like also, so I feel that they take forever to put you on the right medication because they dont feel the urgency!

Edited by katiekins
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Hello, love! Let me help you to help me to help you -- Oh, you know. We reflect off one another, right? We remind one another of the very things we need to hear. :)

When I am in the worst spots, I remind myself the following things - and please, please, please, read over this list, print it out, look at it, anything! Just so you can remember:

This too will pass and change ! The only constant in life is CHANGE. The worst and the best - all arises and passes away. :)

I AM STILL WORTHWHILE AND BEAUTIFUL, EVEN WITH MY SKIN HOWEVER IT MAY BE. This one is HUGE, eh? In our image based society, we can SO easily get caught up in the notion that we have lost all worth as a human being just because we have some troubled skin! What?! Imagine if you heard someone ELSE say this, about themselves and not you. Or what if they said it about another condition - one that is (dare I say) even worse? What if someone in a wheelchair told you, "I'm worthless because I don't have use of my legs. I am no good." What would you do? Of COURSE you'd think - my goodness, that's not even CLOSE to true! We are so so so much harsher on ourselves than we at all need to be. Whereas everyone else sees us as an entire package, good and bad, full of life and love just like every other human being, we who have suffered through skin issues tend to see ourselves as a human package topped by this totally awful "disease" that depletes us of any worth. And that is simply not true. You are amazing, bright, shining. Don't let any number of zits remove that beautiful truth from you.

And you know what? This is treatable. It may not easy; it may take time; it may take any number of attempts, months, years even. But this is NOT a life prognosis. This isn't cancer, a neurological disease, a lost limb. This is skin that is constantly moving, shifting, growing, shedding, etc. It WILL improve! It WILL pass away. In the grand scheme of things, as enormous as it seems to us, it's NOT so huge. Really.

I accept myself fully as I am, where I am, how I am. Maybe one of the hardest ones. I won't claim it's easy! But it is SO worth pursuing. This amazing therapist I had the good fortune to go to reminded me of just how crucial acceptance is. "If I want to change the color of the walls in this room," she said to me, "I first have to accept that they are yellow. Otherwise, how can I change them to whatever color I want them to be?" -- Think about it, it is so true. You may not love where your skin is at; it may upset you. But you CAN accept it. You CAN say to yourself, "Okay. This is where I am and where my skin is. There is a reason for this, and we are figuring it out. But I accept it. I love it, even (yes, you do! If it's there, better to love it than to hate it, right?). I love and accept myself fully! With every bit of me, good and bad!" ...THEN work on changing.

Physical things come and go. It is the intangible that is more permanent. You know what I mean? Work on yourself as a whole, complete, inner being. That will shine out of you, first of all, no matter what state any skin of yours is in, and secondly, it will be with you even after this has passed. Best to work on it now! You DESERVE IT.

Oh -- that reminds me. Yep. You deserve to feel good, no matter what your skin is doing. DO YOU HEAR ME? Read that again. And again. AND AGAIN. As with some of the others, I'm not claiming this to be simple; we all know how it can bring us down. BUT! You deserve to feel happy, full, worthwhile, totally regardless of ANY physical condition, dagnabbit. You're here. Your time here is relatively short. Conditions, diseases, upsets, sadnesses, etc - they will come and go. That is the nature of that. But your sense of worth and joy ... that, my friends. That can remain.

Lastly, gratitude. I am so grateful for -- even the smallest thing! The sunshine. Right now, I'm super grateful for being able to type on my computer again, which has been with a friend for a while. I'm grateful for e-mails! For green tea! For staying with a friend! For rest! Yoga! Outdoors! Etc. Take time to practice gratitude. You have SO much to be thankful for; it can be easy to allow the shadow of what we want or desire or don't have to overpower the light of our blessings... but we must work against that. :)

Other things?

Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who love you for who you are and not whatever blemish you do or don't have. Find allies, if you will.

Read inspiring things (like this! >> http://www.positivelypresent.com/2009/05/am-i.html )

Do things that fulfill you. Play music, make art, read, write, dance, sing, do math, anything.

Believe in your ability to heal, move forward, get past this... and simultaneously, be present in this! You! Can! Do! It!

Good luck, friends. I know how hard it can be; we all do. But think of how much stronger it's making you, how much more grateful for so many things, how much character you're building -- and yes, listen to music. Watch movies. These things help too.

Cheers!

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Hello, love! Let me help you to help me to help you -- Oh, you know. We reflect off one another, right? We remind one another of the very things we need to hear. smile.png

When I am in the worst spots, I remind myself the following things - and please, please, please, read over this list, print it out, look at it, anything! Just so you can remember:

This too will pass and change ! The only constant in life is CHANGE. The worst and the best - all arises and passes away. smile.png

I AM STILL WORTHWHILE AND BEAUTIFUL, EVEN WITH MY SKIN HOWEVER IT MAY BE. This one is HUGE, eh? In our image based society, we can SO easily get caught up in the notion that we have lost all worth as a human being just because we have some troubled skin! What?! Imagine if you heard someone ELSE say this, about themselves and not you. Or what if they said it about another condition - one that is (dare I say) even worse? What if someone in a wheelchair told you, "I'm worthless because I don't have use of my legs. I am no good." What would you do? Of COURSE you'd think - my goodness, that's not even CLOSE to true! We are so so so much harsher on ourselves than we at all need to be. Whereas everyone else sees us as an entire package, good and bad, full of life and love just like every other human being, we who have suffered through skin issues tend to see ourselves as a human package topped by this totally awful "disease" that depletes us of any worth. And that is simply not true. You are amazing, bright, shining. Don't let any number of zits remove that beautiful truth from you.

And you know what? This is treatable. It may not easy; it may take time; it may take any number of attempts, months, years even. But this is NOT a life prognosis. This isn't cancer, a neurological disease, a lost limb. This is skin that is constantly moving, shifting, growing, shedding, etc. It WILL improve! It WILL pass away. In the grand scheme of things, as enormous as it seems to us, it's NOT so huge. Really.

I accept myself fully as I am, where I am, how I am. Maybe one of the hardest ones. I won't claim it's easy! But it is SO worth pursuing. This amazing therapist I had the good fortune to go to reminded me of just how crucial acceptance is. "If I want to change the color of the walls in this room," she said to me, "I first have to accept that they are yellow. Otherwise, how can I change them to whatever color I want them to be?" -- Think about it, it is so true. You may not love where your skin is at; it may upset you. But you CAN accept it. You CAN say to yourself, "Okay. This is where I am and where my skin is. There is a reason for this, and we are figuring it out. But I accept it. I love it, even (yes, you do! If it's there, better to love it than to hate it, right?). I love and accept myself fully! With every bit of me, good and bad!" ...THEN work on changing.

Physical things come and go. It is the intangible that is more permanent. You know what I mean? Work on yourself as a whole, complete, inner being. That will shine out of you, first of all, no matter what state any skin of yours is in, and secondly, it will be with you even after this has passed. Best to work on it now! You DESERVE IT.

Oh -- that reminds me. Yep. You deserve to feel good, no matter what your skin is doing. DO YOU HEAR ME? Read that again. And again. AND AGAIN. As with some of the others, I'm not claiming this to be simple; we all know how it can bring us down. BUT! You deserve to feel happy, full, worthwhile, totally regardless of ANY physical condition, dagnabbit. You're here. Your time here is relatively short. Conditions, diseases, upsets, sadnesses, etc - they will come and go. That is the nature of that. But your sense of worth and joy ... that, my friends. That can remain.

Lastly, gratitude. I am so grateful for -- even the smallest thing! The sunshine. Right now, I'm super grateful for being able to type on my computer again, which has been with a friend for a while. I'm grateful for e-mails! For green tea! For staying with a friend! For rest! Yoga! Outdoors! Etc. Take time to practice gratitude. You have SO much to be thankful for; it can be easy to allow the shadow of what we want or desire or don't have to overpower the light of our blessings... but we must work against that. smile.png

Other things?

Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people who love you for who you are and not whatever blemish you do or don't have. Find allies, if you will.

Read inspiring things (like this! >> http://www.positivel...09/05/am-i.html )

Do things that fulfill you. Play music, make art, read, write, dance, sing, do math, anything.

Believe in your ability to heal, move forward, get past this... and simultaneously, be present in this! You! Can! Do! It!

Good luck, friends. I know how hard it can be; we all do. But think of how much stronger it's making you, how much more grateful for so many things, how much character you're building -- and yes, listen to music. Watch movies. These things help too.

Cheers!

WOW! holy cow, thank you for that amazing post!! I appreciate and notice all the time and effort you put in making that thoughful and really trying to help, you seriously ROCK. And funnily enough, I wasnt going to come on here at all tonight because I just got home from a 10 hour work day and my skin is literally the worst its ever been in my life, and I just wanted to cry.. but I decided to log on to write in my blog and I found this post! These were all things I really REALLY needed to hear right now, and it couldnt have come at a better time. THANK YOU for making my night(: hope all is well on your end! Yaaay for green tea!!

Katie

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