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I often find myself having to dole out excuses in response to others' questions about why I'm not having the pie for dessert, skipped the mashed potatoes, or refused the free doughnut. It's so hard, not for me to not want to eat them but rather for me to say no. Because a slew of questions always follows. Which are usually derragatory, like, "You don't eat brownies? What's wring with you!?"

It's embarassing and has driven me into isolation. Especially when it comes to eating out, when a teacher randomly brings KK doughnuts to celebrate the end of the year, etc.

How do you all deal with this? Usually I use the old, oh I'm actually allergic to wheat or gluten line. I'm really not... but they don't know :)

What are your excuses? Or how do you cope with the derragatory remarks?

I try to be confident but it makes me feel belittled even though I have mostly clear skin due to diet

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Yeah I just say I'm allergic to everything. It's mostly true but some things I could eat. I get asked about it all the time and I really don't like talking about it to everyone, but I don't care what they think of how I eat.

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I know! I hate when people ask me about my diet. I immediately blush and go into fight or flight mode... I've been doing better though lately though

And thanks polite and direct is good I will remember that :)

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I don't make excuses. And I don't put up with derogatory remarks from people I associate with. I get offered stuff all the time in the break room at work. A simple, friendly, "Oh, no thanks" works fine. If you don't act weird about it people don't think anything of it. If they do, it's their issue, not yours.

Seriously, stop giving people this sort of power over you. You don't owe anyone an explanation for what you choose to eat or not eat. It's your own business.

I know! I hate when people ask me about my diet. I immediately blush and go into fight or flight mode... I've been doing better though lately though

And thanks polite and direct is good I will remember that smile.png

Edited by dejaclairevoyant

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Why do you need to make an excuse for eating healthy?

This is what's wrong with today's society. People who are trying to better their health are bizarre because our less-informed peers have dysfunctional intestines and by extension screwed up brains and so they think "OMG I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT BREAD I NEED THOSE OXIDIZED OMEGA-6S TO GO RIGHT TO MY THIGHS."

You don't need to make any excuse for trying to eat healthy because there's nothing wrong with trying to better yourself.

But if someone was to ask you to explain your rationale about health, you should. It may help them in the future or at least inspire them to make positive changes in their diet, even if it's a small change.

Edited by chunkylard

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I understand where you are coming from. I would hate all the constant comments and annoying questions. When I had acne most people were polite enough not to comment, but when it came to diet, suddenly everyone assumed it was their business to judge me and try to change me to suit their own personal beliefs. (That goes for both food connoisseurs and nutritionists. Both are equally judgmental I have found grinwink.gif)

If you have clear skin due to diet, then I think that is fantastic! I honestly don't know what you should tell them, because being honest kind of destroys your facade of being "normal" which is a major motivation to be clear in the first place. Now, I'm not saying you or anyone else needs the approval of society. That would be an incredibly stupid pursuit. What I am saying is that in order to function successfully a in a society, certain social norms and customs have to be respected. Turning down something offered is almost always considered an insult, sometimes a grievous one in certain cultures. I say you have to judge each situation independently and sometimes you might have to "take the hit" so to speak, and just eat what is offered you. Food is such a large part of people's culture, it's going to be unavoidable at times.

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Just be honest...really. Don't play around with it. It relieves a lot of stress from playing mind games with people. I just tell people I've engaged in a lab experiment on myself, lol. Some people have been totally cool, and have shared their experience as well, like "Oh, my friend also gets acne when he eats X,Y, and Z" and then I share theories i've read, and such. I'll be honest, I do miss eating with my friends whenever and where ever, but no one has disowned me, and they are all cool with it. What your kindergarten teacher said still rings true, honesty is the best policy.

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OMG I LOVE the anti-aging one.... I've got to use that.

I used to have SO many issues with explaining to people why I eat the way I do. Over the years however I've gotten more confident, and I've also gained a few friends who are celiac and eat a lot like I do. It's nice to go out with them and not be the only one asking for the "special meal" at the restaurant. I also find if I'm VERY polite and I just tell people "oh man, that was SO nice of you to offer to make me dinner, but I have to warn you I have a lot of sensitivities to food and I dont want to inconvenience you." Usally they reply very politely and offer to make whatever you can eat. I bring my food everywhere too... if I'm going to a dinner party where I know I wont be able to eat the food, I call the host and politely tell them that I may bring my own food because I dont want to put them out becuase of my sensitivities. They are usually totally understanding about it.

If someone gets in face about food and they are being relaly insulting, I usually just tell them "you are really lucky to be able to tolerate the food that you eat, because I just cant, and I'm sorry if you feel insulted by the way I eat... but I am not insulted by the way you eat.. so why all the fuss??"

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So true about the "normal" wanting to fit in bit. But you're right, I've really grown a substantial amount in my confidence in my diet... Just looking back on how much I've grown since changing it about a year and a half ago. Thanks for all the support guys :)

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I was at this college gig recently where we were at a hotel for 4 days with 3 other roomates, and one in particular would not stop offering me things like candy and doritos, which I politely declined each time. I brought my own food, like salmon jerky, beef jerky, and some bananas, and explained that I don't eat gluten/dairy/soy because it causes me problems, but I also do my best to eat nutrient dense healthy foods. He thought it was weird, until he tried the jerky and was in bliss. Then he wouldn't stop offering his cheese stick dip thing as a trade for my food, which I politely declined.

Then I had an interesting encounter with a militant vegan, and I did my best to try and end the conversation on neutral grounds, saying the whole sustainability thing is more complicated than water for cows vs wheat, and that it's good for people to start asking the kinds of questions we both are, we're ultimately trying to pursue health, etc. He finally asked why I thought meat was healthy, and since he was direct in his question, I explained how we've been eating these foods for millions of years and likely adapted to it, no strong causative data for meat and disease, we are adapted to using tools to hunt, and there's the whole extinction of the mega fauna from hunting - basically a ton of evidence. He obviously disagreed, but if you can explain your position with some scientific basis, then they'll stop giving you a hard time.

And in a better situation, people will be curious about trying it themselves! I don't use any alarmist language, but also try to be specific and clear as possible. It's easy to sell certain things that even the mainstream media buys, like cutting out processed and refined sugary foods and drinks. I also tell them to switch from PUFA processed vegetable oils to something like good quality EVOO, limit (better yet, cut out) fast foods, and things of that nature. Once they're more open minded, we'll discuss how there isn't any strong causative data to support the whole "saturated fats cause heart disease" arguement, and then how certain foods like EVCO can be highly beneficial, grass fed pastured meats having better omega 3 content, and then finally how they may want to consider a 30 day elmination diet where potentially problematic foods are eliminated, and I'll explain how ancestry may play a role in the digestibility of certain foods like dairy. I don't use any words like "paleo" or "low carb" because these things tend to have some negative perceptions to them and may ultimately shut down any open-mindedness to these ideas.

And if they don't ask about it, I don't talk about it. They inevitably do because of the whole lead by example thing, and they're often curious how I went from cystic acne to pretty darn good skin!

Edited by tim12

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