Here's the challenge: I WILL NOT pick, squeeze or touch my face for the next 30 days!
Unlike some others on here I'm not going to be resetting back to Day 1 every time I mess up. I've had experience with these "30 day challenges" in other areas of my life and know all too well that if I stop and start every time there's a minor setback it won't help with the motivation. Instead I'm going to aim to have clear skin and have kicked the habit by the end of the 30 days.
A bit of background. I've never had severe acne but I've been picking and squeezing my skin since I got my first pimple. I'm 22 now. It's become a means of escaping from reality, a way of avoiding stress, of comfort. Too many messed up psychological factors to even consider. It's become destructive and is ruining my skin. It has to end NOW.
This year I've been turning a lot of things around in my life. I've quit drinking, I've been gyming 5+ days a week, eating like a champ. This is the next thing I need to focus on with all my willpower.
Ok, so the rules of engagement:
1) First and foremost I'm going to be updating this everyday with as much detail and honesty as possible. I'll keep track of when, how and why i squeezed or picked.
2) Secondly I'll be reading up on this forum about strategies for stopping and gathering as much information about about this area as possible. I've already found some helpful ideas but I'm not going to sit around and trying and learn everything before I start. Taking action is the first step and refining can come later.
3) NB - I WILL NOT SQUEEZE PIMPLES ON MY FACE. This is the worst of the 3 habits for me (squeezing, picking, touching face). I don't want to think how many hours of my life I've spent infront of the mirror mutilating my face for no reason whatsoever. This HAS TO STOP.
4) Secondarily to that, but still importantly, I WILL NOT TOUCH AND PICK MY FACE. This often happens unconsciously - I run my fingers over my skin and when I feel a pimple I'll often pick at it. This will be hard to stop because I'm sometimes already doing it before I even realize the fact. Think doing this has caused more blackheads and pimples which feed into my picking habit. It's a nasty cycle.
OK, so that's the basics. Will update with details as well as thoughts and new ideas. Challenge starts NOW!
Day 1
Awesome first day. Didn't squeeze in front of the mirror at all. That's the first time I haven't in months,
Also stopped myself numerous times during the day from picking at my skin. Found that during class was the worst - I'd just start to do it involuntarily. I did however touch my face a bit a few times before I could stop myself. And some light picking at a pimple in my neck.
I also squeezed a pimple and and blackhead on my shoulder but at least I stayed away from my face.
Late in the evening when I was tired and trying to study I did pick at my face for a few minutes. Didn't really do too much damage though and I managed to make myself stop after a few minutes so that's good.
Feeling really positive and excited about this. I was picturing my face with completely clear skin and imagining how good that would feel after all this time.
Tomorrow it's on!
Day 2
Ok, I'd say day 2 was another successful day. Wasn't perfect but mostly avoided doing any damage. I think any day I don't go on a picking binge is a good day.
Started off really well and the whole morning I was very aware of my goal not to touch my face and was conscious of every time I had an impulse to bring my hand up to my face.
Late afternoon I found out I messed up my visa application and was pretty stressed. Touched and slightly picked at my face a bit. Ended up going to the mirror and squeezing 2 small pimples before I stopped myself. Not too much of a problem
Later when i was studying i picked slightly at almost non existent pimples.
When I was driving back from the club I found a pimple on my face with my one hand and squeezed at it. This was probably the worst setback of the day.
Hmm when I lay it out like that looks like I slipped up quite a few times. I notice a pattern of it being when I'm tired or stressed that I pick mostly, so at least I'm aware of that now. Will try identify when I'm in these states and make an effort not to pick.
Tomorrow, even if there's a slight improvement I'll be happy. Then the next day I'm improve a bit more. Next thing I will be 100%!
Day 3 - afternoon check-in
My skin is already looking so much better today after only 2 days of not squeezing. Looked in the mirror and felt excited about having clear skin.
In the AM I saw I had a half popped pimple and gently squeezed it. Feel like this wasn't too bad a thing to do though.
In class was feeling my skin on my forehead but didn't really pick so that's good.
Picked slightly at a pimple on my chin before I stopped myself.
Also have a pimple on the back of my neck in my hairline which I keep trying to squeeze even though its basically just a scab. Think I'm drawn to this cause it's not visible and i can almost deny to myself that I'm doing anything wrong.
Still maintained not squeezing unnecessarily infront of the mirror which is awesome.
So far a good morning. Need to focus on not failing in the PM when I'm tired.
@iskaestar - Thanks. Ideally what I'm aiming with this is to replace the habit entirely so I won't just stop for a while then fall back into it. Going to be tough
Day 3 - Evening
It's weird, if i don't update straight away I forget how much I pick. It's kinda scary - shows how normal it is for me on a day to day basis.
Think the rest of the evening was quite good. I didn't squeeze but I touched my face quite a bit and think i picked slightly. when I pick it's always at almost non existent things or dry skin/scabs. Luckily I've been avoiding picking the bad pimples.
Had a late night and after getting home from the club I squeezed a pimple under my nose that I had avoided squeezing before. I actually don't know if squeezing certain types of pimples when they are "ready" is good or not. This seems to be ok though, after squeezing it seemed like it might have been the right thing to do. Still, I'm going to try avoid doing this AT ALL.
Day 4 - Wednesday
Ok, today was a bit of a bad one. Have a lot of stressful stuff happening to me right now and this area of my life gets affected when that happens.
Squeezed at least two pimples I know I shouldn't have. one of my forhead and one on my chin.
Picked at my face a fair amount. Luckily mostly only dry skin and small small lumps. Not good though.
At one point picked a blackhead out of my nose with my nail just randomly during the day. Super not good.
Squeezed a lot of blackheads on the side/back of my neck by my hairline while sitting at my desk. Also reach over and squeezed and picked out a lot of backheads on my back and shoulders also while sitting at my desk.
Ok, bad day. But not the end of the world. Still didn't binge squeeze infront of the mirror so i have that. Need to focus and not lose motivation after this.
@ 09alisa Go for it! I'll follow your progress if you do.
Day 5 & 6
Ok I'm definitely doing worse. Slowly picking more and more and on day 4 I squeezed a few pimples.
Today (day 5) I've been trying to write and essay and my hands have just been going crazy picking at my face.
I also had a short squeezing binge infront of the mirror before I stopped myself.
Dam, I really wanted to make a week without binge squeezing.
One good thing I did was wear gloves while sitting at my desk, This really works. But can't when I'm typing cause they are too bulky. Maybe I should invest in a thin pair of gloves.
Yeah so definitely hit a low point. I thought I'd just be getting better and better. Oh well, I'm just going to keep trying and continuing to post until I get this handled. I'm on the right path, I just need to keep going.
Day 7 - 9
Ok so I had a complete relapse over the last few days. I had my major assignment for the semester due and basically all areas of my life took a back seat including this. Along with the massive amount of stress I was feeling, this led me to have a couple of very destructive squeezing binges. Picking, squeezing, unnecessarily damaging my skin. Went from fairly clear skin with one or two pimples to, red patchy skin.
Feel really shit about it.
Well now I just have to accept it happened and move on from here. Nothing I can do to change it.
Even though I feel like I screwed up completely, there are a few positives gained since the start of the journal. FIrstly, I felt really good about myself when I was avoiding squeezing my skin Secondly, I became a lot more aware of the habit by noticing when I squeezed and updating on here. ANd lastly I proved to myself that I can do a few days without squeezing and my skin DOES look better on account of this. This means if I don't squeeze I WILL have perfect skin in due time.
So there's nothing to it but to do it.
Day 10!
Back on track today!
Only touched my face a bit and picked a small amount at 1 or 2 insignificant spots.
Squeezing wise I stayed away from the mirror pretty much. I did squeeze once or twice though. But stopped myself straight away.
Was kinda dumb, i squeezed at a headless pimple on my cheek that always turn into cyst thingys if i squeeze them. Silly.
Pretty good day, avoided doing much damage and my skin seems to be healing up from my squeezing binge. Now I just needa maintain this.
Fallen off the wagon completely. Back to my old picking/squeezing habits over the last 4 days.
I'm embarrassed and angry at myself. Feel like I can't control this at all.
Okay well today is a monday. Worked out its day 15. so for the last 5 days I've been offtrack and not even attempting to update this.
Let's see if this week I can get my shit handled and do this. I'm half way through this challenge and I WILL have stopped picking by the end of it. SO that's 2 weeks to get there.
Day 16
I've realized a part of me really doesn't want to quit doing this. Basically for the last couple of years its become a comfort thing that's enjoyable to me.
When I commit, it's almost a half commitment. When I started this challenge it was the first time in a while that a wholeheartedly committed to stopping. Then after I had a relapse I never really got back into the head space of really wanting to do this.
So what I'm going to try now is identify things that really motivate me to stop.
First one is going to be spending +-15min on this forum everyday. It really amps me up to see other people doing the same thing. I was just reading CoconutCaramel's challenge and it really inspired me.
Then posting here EVERYDAY is important for me. There's a direct correlation between making myself aware of of how things are going by sitting down and typing it out and how well I'm doing.
Related to that, I'm going to post up progress pics. Will take them tomorrow when there's better light.
Other things that have helped - wearing gloves, not looking in the mirror.
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Okay so today and yesterday were ok. I squeezed a few pimples and blackheads cause there are quite a few after I went crazy on my skin last weekend. No bad binges's though.
Tomorrow i'm going to aim for a no squeezing day.
Right now my face has been worse. I've got quite a lot of red blotchiness from squeezing over the last week.
I have healing cysts on the right side of my chin which i need to leave alone.
I have a couple of scabby spots on my cheeks where i've picked them a couple of times without letting them heal. These normally heal up pretty quickly if I just leave them and don't leave marks.
Got quite a lot of blackheads and whiteheads all over the place. These are my real weakness, cause a part of me is like "that shouldn't be there and I can get rid of it by squeezing it out". While it does get them out, they normally reoccur, become infected and created more and worse ones around the area.
Right now I have quite a bad patch between my eyebrows where there are quite a few blackheads congregated. I always squeeze them out without washing my hands or anything which just makes the patch way worse.
I've also got a few whiteheads/small blackheads on my forehead which i've generally avoided but have aggressively squeezed with my nails, breaking the skin and creating something out of nothing. This is totally avoidable and really really dumb.
I also tend to get lots of reoccurring blackheads in my cheeks where i've created really deep pores from squeezing small/nonexistent blackheads in the first place. Wow, this is such a destructive cycle, can't believe the irrevocable damage I've done to my skin that was completely avoidable.
Ok, so that's pretty much where my skin is right now. It's really not thaaaat bad. The fact is it would literally be 100% better if i stopped.
Or should I rather say, WHEN I DO stop? =D
last few days have been good. Been wearing gloves which has helped a lot. Today I squeezed one or 2 blackheads and squeezed at a pimple near my ear. This is the point where I need to be consistent with this so I don't slip up completely again.
Must update here more regularly.
When your acne is puss-filled, you MUST CAREFULLY leak it with a Dettolized needle.
You need to apply an antiseptic cream or Gillette Fusion skin soothing edition aftershave. This will prevent a mark.
If you don't leak , it will harden and become a sebum ball and appear as a bump on your face.If you remove that bump later on, your face will have a crater where the bump used to be present.
Heh, that doesn't sound too great.
Day 23 - 24
Mostly avoided doing anything. Have quite a few cystic pimples around my chin area which are the only real concern.
Day 24 I was running on 4 hours sleep so ended up picking slightly here and there. Not at any of my bad pimples though. Did pop small pimples on my nose that I shouldn't have.
Day 25
It's midday through day 25. Overall my skin looks like it's on the right track. Right now i'm just waiting for my existing pimples to clear up and then hopefully I won't get too many caused from unnecessary squeezing.
Quite tired again today, so squeezed one or two blackheads on my neck.
Ok, for the rest of today i'm gonna try not touch or squeeze anything on my face. Using gloves and my mad willpower to achieve this =)
Day 27 - 28
I've kind of leveled off at a point where i haven't squeezed any blackheads (maybe 1 or 2) for the last while.
So he "unnecessary" squeezing is looking good. Gloves have helped sooo much.
I still squeeze those pimples that I tell myself "need" to be squeezed. Pretty sure they don't need to be, and if so, I should do it properly with a needle.
Also there were two pimples in the last few days (not even bad ones which i think was a kind of justification for it to be ok in my head) that I really picked horribly, leaving a scabby sore more so than even a pimple. I've had a habit of doing this with pimples by my hairline or like just under my jawline where they are kind of less obvious. Dumb justifications.
It's 3 weeks until my trip to europe so at this point any more damage I do to my face won't have time to heal up before then. So this should be incentive enough not to not pick!
Day 29
Started off the morning badly. Got pissed off about losing some documents. Picked at my dry skin and scabby pimples a bit. Also squeezed a few blackheads in areas that I hadn't touched in a while.
Rest of the day went fine, wore gloves.
I've got one big cystic pimple flaring up on my chin but other than that my skin is looking ok. Need to avoid squeezing this one.
I have loads of blackheads so need to look into clearing these up so that i'm not tempted to squeeze them.
Going to read [Removed] for a few minutes now.
For puss-filled pimples, leak the white stuff > apply BP
For red swollen pimples > apply ice > apply BP after a bit
For hermit pimples > OLay Regenerist night cream softens them to the point they feel like they aint there no more
For blackheads > use blakhead clearing facewashes. I tend to do something more painful but effective. Pry a needle into your blackhead and lift up the blackhead ball at a 45 degrees angle. Leaves a crater initially but new skin production covers it up soon
Cool thanks for the advice. My problem with blackheads is I squeeze them which tends to create a bigger pore which then fills up with another bigger blackhead. It's a bad cycle.
Day 30
Almost had a perfect day for my last day. Then I got home at like 4am after a date and I squeezed a bit infront of the mirror. Damn blackheads...
Anyway, I'm not entitrely happy with my progress in these 30 days. However there was definitely a move towards breaking the habit which is awesome. There are a few things I feel I gained from soing this, even if I haven't completely kicked the habit:
1) Greater awareness of what I'm doing when i pick. I used to just do it without a second thought, now at least i catch myself before I do too much damage
2) gained some knowledge about how the skin works etc.
3) significantly reduced the amount of making a mess out of my skin from nothing. While i'm still tempted into squeezing those pimples which are already there, I haven't been binge squeezing as much and creating pimples that wouldn't otherwise have come up.
4) reduced the amount I touch and pick at my skin idly by wearing gloves.
So definitely been beneficial. Areas for improvement are obviously continuing to avoid squeezing binges and to cut out squeezing existent pimples. I'm going to buy some needles tomorrow and try manage any pimples I do get in a sterile non-damaging way.
And I'm also going to be extending my challenge for the next month. It's exactly 1 month until I go to Europe, so let's see if i can get this 100% sorted by then!
@09alisa Not so good either but I'm back to try again.
Day 1
Okay I'm starting from day one again. Picking has been getting bad again and my skin is not in good shape.
Started off fairly well today. Didn't really squeeze in the morning.
In the afternoon I squeezed one cystic pimple on my skin and it popped.. Wasn't a necessarily squeeze though.
Late evening was bad. Squeezed two pimples on my cheek just while sitting at my desk. Need to start wearing my gloves at all times again.
Also just picked at pimples all over my face idly. Squeezed the same pimple I popped earlier in the day too. There's no way that that could be in any way beneficial to it healing.
Okay not the best start. But I'm trying to do this as honestly as possible. I've made this and one other project my major focuses for the next 2 weeks. I'm going to try EVERYTHING to stop.
Day 2
Just made a list of my picking today. Just jotted these down in my phone during the day:
- squeezed one pimple on my chin that was pus filled - not too much damage - in bathroom on campus
- touched chin a bit in clas
- picked and pulled out some blackheads on my shoulders
- picked at lower back in labs
- picked at shoulders again in lab
- squeezed pimple on back again in labs
Then later in the evening I had a pretty good go at my skin infront of the mirror.
SO not a good day overall. But got some things to try which I think are going to really help (see Day 3 post)
Day 3
Ok got mysef some surgical gloves which I'm going to wear round the house all the time. Wearing thicker gloves is too inconvenient with not being able to type and text. These things are awesome, hardly feels like I have anything on my hands and they make it pretty much impossible to pick.
Reading [Removed] and found a couple of helpful tips:
- Don't focus on my skin so much. The more attention I pay to it, the more chance there is of me picking at it. Just let go and let it heal on its own.
- when feeling restless/nervous energy, do shoulder and neck exercises instead of picking.
- spend some time on habit reversal techniques. I have a book on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and doing a couple of excercises from there regularly should be helpful.
- Keep a log of when you get urges and if you were successful or not in avoiding it, as well as how you felt and what you could have done differently.
- weekly analysis of habits
Going to make my focus on wearing my gloves and tracking urges for now. I'll see how that goes and see from there.
