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princessdaphne

I Need Encouragement...still Scared To Talk To My Parents

So, I've posted about this before. I'd link or post in my old thread, but for some reason, I can't find it by search and when I click "my content" nothing shows up (been going on for a few days, not sure why).

Anyway, I feel like I probably need some professional guidance and prescription medication. My acne just gets worse and worse even if I'm still treating my skin the same way I was before. It really takes a toll on my self-confidence. So I want to see a dermatologist.

However, for some reason I'm really nervous about asking my parents about this (I'm 14), not because they'd say no, but because I'm so embarrassed about my acne. I did at one point ask my mom to take me to a dermatologist, and she said yes, but then it never happened. That was last summer- almost a year ago.

Contrary to what you might think, asking my mom once certainly does not make it easier to bring it up again. She wasn't mean or anything, it just really is hard for me and I wish so badly that it wasn't. I'm fine talking to my mom about other stuff, just not about acne. She's always had amazing skin and I just don't feel comfortable with the fact that I need help and need to ask for it.

The sad thing is, when I first started getting acne, my mom would ask me occasionally if I wanted to see a dermatologist. I was so embarrassed that I would brush it off in a rude manner and say no. I really wish I'd just taken my chance then, I feel so remorseful because if I had my skin might be clear right now and scar-free. It's much too late for that now.

I really want to ask my mom this now. I know I'll regret it even more than I already do if I wait longer. I feel like the longer I wait, the more scars I'm doomed to get and have to deal with forever, and the more chance my acne will last through adulthood. Even with all these reasons and the fact that I'm 97% sure she'd say yes, I'm still embarrassed to bring it up, and every time I try to, I chicken out. I don't know why.

In the thread I posted a while ago about this, everyone was very encouraging and convinced me to ask her again, to the point where I basically ended the thread by saying that I now had the confidence and everything and that I'd ask. But I still never could. I would really, really appreciate any help anyone could give me, or just encouragement. I think that maybe if I have a strong support system every step of the way, I can muster up the courage. I want to ask her this weekend, that's the goal.

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As a mother, I really wish you weren't afraid to talk to yours. She loves you and wants you to be happy. Since she has asked you before, she probably thinks you still don't want to. I'm sure she'd be receptive and schedule an appointment gladly. PLEASE don't let anything stop you. Lots of people have skin issues. That's why dermatologists are there. They've seen it all before.. and much worse. Just take a deep breath and go for it. It's a good thing to learn. Speaking up... being confident enough to ask for what you want or need... being assertive is crucial in this life. Don't let anything stop you from doing what is best for YOU! GO FOR IT BABE!

btw... if you can't muster the courage to do it face to face... send a text or email. I always talk to my teens in the car. It seems easier for them because it's not face to face, but it's still in person. Just say ... "Mom...can you please make me an appointment with a dermatologist?". Nothing to it. Whatever or however you do it... just do it.

Edited by Rachelx7

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^ This.

Don't be embarrassed, your mom knows what you're dealing with. Go for it! It may seem difficult now, but it'll be such a relief once you talked to her, trust me. You just have to take that one step. Good luck! :)

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Dude when i was living at home I had the same damn concerns, except i let it go until i was basically almost graduating HS. My father always in a sense made fun of my skin to an extent whereas my mother never really cared or noticed, which i thought was a good thing but i wish she would have said something because i spent many years treating it the same aka slapping BPO on my face like dan's regimen says to do yet that is not the answer and far from it imo. That crap is terrible for your skin.

Anyway after being broken so much.. (parents divorced that year) and my skin just rebeling against me I finally said i want to do something. She gave me here insurance card and I drove 100 miles to the nearest Derm. He gave me epiduo which helped but was terribly irritating after awhile. Though plain old differin would have worked just fine.

Though don't be afraid and don't be scared. Just bite the bullet and ask. You have to.

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I agree with everything the others have posted and would like to add my bit in. I am 33 years old and have had acne since I was twelve. Like you, I didn't approach my parents about getting treatment because I was uncomfortable about it. Now, over two decades later, I am left with permanent scarring on my face from trying to remedy it myself (which I should add was all the wrong ways-harsh exfoliants, picking, etc). Had I gone to my parents when I was your age, there's every possibility I wouldn't have the scarring or even acne now since I would have learned how to treat it correctly. I am a mother as well, and my daughter just turned twelve-the danger age for acne in my mind! She is already starting to have small pimples in the same area I have them. I have already gently told her about acne and that it is a medical condition-nothing to be ashamed about. I've also told her how best to prevent it and what not to do (basically everything I did at her age). What I'm trying to tell you is, your mother doesn't want you to go through emotional hardship of any kind if there is any way she can help prevent it. If you aren't comfortable with a face to face discussion with her, send an email or text. You may be very surprised how receptive she is and how eager to help she will be.

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Thanks guys, your posts really have given me more confidence. But, when the time comes, I know I'll still be scared. I'm definitely going to try my best to ask her soon- I'm making this weekend the deadline, and I might even ask her tonight in the car if I can muster up the courage. I really like Rachelx7's idea of talking to her in the car since it isn't face to face but it's still in person, so I think that's when I'd like to bring it up. I could send her an email, but I feel like that would just make it more awkward when the time came to talk in person, so I might as well just ask her in person. I really want to get this over with. Wish me luck, guys, my mom is going to take me to sports practice now and in the car on the way home I plan to ask her! Hopefully I can do it :)

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Well...I did it!!!! She remembered the last time I asked and said she just hadn't gotten around to it yet. She said to write her a note to remind her and she would make sure to make me an appointment. Thanks for your encouragement guys, it really helped, especially because you helped me realize the urgency with which I should do this, instead of waiting more and more years. Thanks again to everyone! :)

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Well done! surprised.gif I'm happy for you. I'm also glad you found this board... lots of good information here to help you.

Edited by Rachelx7

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Scared? Of what? It's not like ur asking for a tattoo or something. Acne can be a medical issue, I'm sure they'll understand...? U should be excited to go to the dermatologist, they have the solution to acne, or at least mine did

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Scared? Of what? It's not like ur asking for a tattoo or something. Acne can be a medical issue, I'm sure they'll understand...? U should be excited to go to the dermatologist, they have the solution to acne, or at least mine did

Yeah, now that I've asked, I am excited. I really hope whatever treatment they end up giving me will work!

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