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Elleninfinity

Ellen's Accutane Journal with pics

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Hey, its Frankie..thought id come and write in your topic seen as you're helpful to me in mine!! Not sure how helpful i can be though but really good to hear that things seems to be clearing a little and your skin i smoother!!!Accutane reacts so differently with people, you never know, you could be cleared in one or two months...how good would that be!!Id be so jealous!!!(but happy for you too!)

Also..red marks will tend to stay longer when you're on accutane cos of skins healing powers being reduced. I have red marks too, no cratery type scars..we're very lucky. I sometimes put aloe vera on red marks but not that religiously. Some people swear by it but im not so sure if its beneficial or not.

What dosage are you on??I started on 20mg, went up to 40mg after a month and then after 3 more weeks went up to 60mg and im now on my 5th day at 60mg.Im eventually going up to 80mg..probably in 5 weeks time when i next see my derm. Id be interested to know what dosage you're on cos we sound so similar in our acne way.Its joyous isnt it!?? i cant enough of it!!

Best of luck

ME!!:)

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EllEN I like your posts, very easy to read, you come accross as a really nice person. Even better, sounds like the tane is comin along good.

no dairy or meat eh.. damn thats commitment. Hope it all works out for you.

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hey hey,

Bit or a predicament hey!??Dont let it get you down though..i always think things happen for a reason and following instincts is always best and things WILL work out for the best whatever decision you make..its a good philosophy to follow. Saying that i know people differ on ways they think about things. I'm a little too laid back at times and then sometimes my mind goes into overdrive and i get reaal frantic about stuff and decisions i have to make.. confused.gif

I went for a jog today too... eusa_eh.gif To say 'out of shape' is something i Definitely am..lordy lord..it was bad..My knees hurt too.well, just my left knee..but i think thats a long term hockey/snowboarding injury but possibly helped along by roaccutane.

Good to hear your skins getting better, i still hate being seen too but luckily i live in the middle of nowhere and the only people that'll see me are farmers and oaps!!

Hope you have a good night tonight hitting the dance floor..brilliant plan!!

Frankie smile.gif

oh and if i had to choose between the US and the Bahamas, i think it would be the Bahamas...not that ive ever been to either!!

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Ellen, glad you are doing things to keep your mind off the acne... I often try to do the same, but as you know, I know, it's hard. The BF status must be even more difficult... where in the states does he live? I don't know if I would ever move for someone... Are you going to school or working where you are at? I guess do whatever will make you happy... but don't jeopordize your education or career for a love interest... unless you really want to. Keep the faith, we're fighting with you.

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Hey Ellen,

My name is Derrick... I almost 20 and I've been on accutane for 57 days today... almost two months! I started out on 40mg/day and now I'm up to 60mg/day a day... I take 80mg one day and 40mg the next. My face began mild/moderate... not very much acne but very persistant and annoying... I mainly did accutane to prevent scarring and to hopefully have perfect skin to help my modeling career (I know it's very vain, but it's very hard to break into modeling with troubled skin). So far it seems to be working... I had dozens of little bumps on my forehead that have now subsided and I just get occasional spots throughout the week... nothing huge. Sometimes I'll irritate my skin or try to pick (bad!) and make things worse... but I'm really happy with my skin... with the exception of being so pale! But I've only got three months left so I'll manage... I actually live in Kentucky, I'm not too far away from Ohio.. where in Ohio is he? Well if you can find a job in Ohio that you like and you really want to live with him, I'd say give it a try!

Best of luck, looking forward to reading through your experiences. I am also a runner, I know your pains! Water, water, water, vitamin E, and lots of water!

Derrick

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hey hey Ellen! ive read your journal over the past few days, and finally decided to drop you a message. first of all, its so nice to follow your experience, im on my THIRD day of accutane (go me, haha!) so its cool to see how things go for someone whos a little ahead of me in their course smile.gif . your posts are optimistic and great to read! and alsoo...YOURE A RUNNER! thats awesome, so am i, although i havnt run in the past three months cause i got mono at the end of june sad.gif so i had to "stop all physical activity" (drs orders, grr) and so now that im finally 100% again, i gotta get myself back into shape. its so cool that you get to run on the beach, wow the bahamas must be amazing. altho i know the sand can be killer if you run barefoot, i tried it in florida once, lol. and even with shoes, the sand still makes it tough, its sorta the same thing as running in the snow (i live in toronto, canada, so we get pretty crazy winters, but of course that doesnt stop the runners here, lol). anyways, just wanted to say hi and to wish you good luck w/ the accutane!

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hey ellen,

Its so difficult.Ive never been in that kind of situation though which it makes it harder to help!! Its tricky tricky tricky..

I say...go with your heart and whatever your heart says...and take in to consideration EVERYTHING....family/friends/work etc etc even your ex (if theres still something there?) In the end it has to be to do with your happiness, you have to take control and be a little bit selfish.

Maybe the long distance is a test and maybe something will happen that'll make you think yeah..im going to do this. Maybe you just need to be realistic and assertive. OH..its so difficult.

Im pretty lucky on the whole man front. I split up with my boyfriend because i was going away..i was out of the country for 9 months and then i got back and look like i do (which is not good) and ive only seen him once and im quite happy. It was a long relationship but not serious.

I try not to go out, thats not because i dont want to but because i hate the way i look. Its been 2 months, ive been out maybe 5/6 times but each time its been really really testing on my confidence. Its crazy crazyness i know but it makes me feel comfortable. Ive been out only because my friends have forced me and admittedly i have a really good time but i just like to hide and thats why i cant wait for it to clear so i dont have odd lumps and bumps all over my skin that makes me look like an absolute freak.horrible stuff.

I figure, i had an absolutely amazing 9 months and it was a chaotic mad time and well this is my come uppence...

Luckily for me the majority of my friends all live miles away or are all back at university, but at the moment, i dont mind too much, it gives me time to relax and once im up and running with better self confidence, il be able to go visit them all and be back to my normal self.. i LOVE going out, socialising and dancing..Can't wait till im back to mE!!

Wow...what a long message, sorry bout that.. i can ramble for hours and hours.

Im off now to sort my computer out.. i think it has some nasty virus.GREAt.

Take Care

Frankie

p.s/ I like reading your posts too... you're the most similar to me!! smile.gifsmile.gif Much appreciated!!

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hey ellen! great to hear about your face, its so awesome when things start clearing up and you start to regain your confidence! im sorry bout the bf situation tho, thats a tough one.. i kno wat you mean about being a little hard to get along with, im like that too, and my bf and i have our share of disagreements and stuff, even tho he's close. but i think you have a good attitude towards the whole thing.. whatever will be, will be, and things will work out as they should. and dont feel guilty about hanging with your guy friends, youre completely allowed, you sound like an awesome person and im sure your bf has nothing to worry about..mayb you should talk to him about it? altho i know its hard if he's being indifferent..i hope everything works out with him! as for my accutane adventure so far, im on 40mg/day. ive been flaring up moderately enough, but im trying to keep my chin up, its only been a week! thanks for the well-wishes, im debating starting my own journal, not sure tho cause im ridiculously busy with school rolleyes.gif . anyways, hope everything is well w/ you, good luck w/ everything! - lisa

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Day #29  biggrin.gif

Hey everyone.  The update is as follows: my cheeks (where the cysts are under the skin) are breaking out.  Well, actually, the roaccutane appears to be bringing the cysts out of the skin.  I sorta picked one yesterday.  Now I have a nice bruise.  Other than my cheeks and the scars everything else on my face is ok.  My nose piercing is also healing well despite the dulled healing power of my body because of the medicine.

My joints are about back to the way they were before, which is by no means ache-free.  They are not hurting extra anymore.  I am glad I didn't stop the medicine when they started hurting.  My lips are a little less chapped today than yesterday. 

I did a hot cream treatment in my hair last night to fight the dryness battle.  I don't need my hair dropping out.  I really have to take care of my hair.

Nothing else much is new.  I went and saw the premier of the movie Under the Sunset (I think that's what it's called).  The movie won't be out in theatres until November 12th.  The film was shot here.  It was really cool to be able to recognize so many places in the movie.  It was good.  You should all watch it to see where it is that I live.  Or just to see the way we live here.  Of course, movies exaggerate, but most of it is tru besides for going to work.

So...still with my bf.  No clue what to do.  Gotta wait it out. 

See you all

Ellen

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Hey Ellen,

Good luck with Orlando!!It's still dead tricky isn't it!!

Seems like you're skin is getting much mch better as it is on 40mg so i wouldnt worry too much about upping your dosage..better to have a healthy liver i think. I MUST go and get my bloodtests done.

All the best and il have my fingers crossed for you with the Antwon/Brian thing.Just do what you want to do!

Frankie

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Hi Ellen,

I'm sorry about the liver enzyme sad.gif

I'm not sure what to say. On the one hand I'd say just listen to your doctor, but I also don't know anything about it. If its in the normal range then it should be okay. Could they maybe test you again in say two weeks instead of a month? To see what's going on? I hope it gets better sad.gif

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Hey Ellen,

Really sorry to hear about the liver thing. I would go with the doctor, or maybe get secondary advice from another derm or something. I dont understand all the liver things but being healthy regarding liver is much more important but if your doc says it still alright, id just carry on plus i think its important for you to get bloodtests done more regularly so it all can be monitered carefully..

And i know what you mean by the expense of it all.. i just got another bill through for £355 pounds, thats for consultations and then another....£180 for the prescription, its crazy but hopefully worth it although it sure is taking its time..

Best of luck..and you're right, you have to do what you have to do.

Frankieeee smile.gif

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ELLEEEEEEEN!!

You're back!!

Glad to hear your skin is getting better and better. The accutanes doing its magic for you, im glad!

Brian/Antwon wise, i think you're doing whats right and what you want and whats in your heart. It'll be hard for a while, but things always work out eventually.

DId you get any more news about your blood tests and liver enzymes? Hows all that now?!

Byeee for now,

Frankie smile.gif

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ELLEEEEN!!

SHit man.. eusa_doh.gif

I think that you should carry on trying to sort of break free from Antwon because by what you say, it seems like you are very hesitant to get get involved. I think that you are still really attached to Brian..BUT..its so difficult with him being far away.

MAN ITS DIFFICULT.

I think by the sound of it, Antwon doesnt lead a very healthy lifestyle to be in trouble with magistrates and all sorts and as you say, he might hurt you...which is never a good thing.

I think you'll just have to carry on what your doing and although it'll be hard and it'll hurt and be upsetting but it will work out, i have faith it will.

The wedding thing is out of your control because its a family event and you cant help both being around. Antwon will have to appreciate the fact that Brian is still very close to your heart..you've had a relationship and that cant be dismissed.

Its very difficult, sorry i havent been much help, i cant get my head properly round it all.

:s :s

Do you have MSN?? Add me if you do.. [email protected]

I will think about it all, see if i can come up with something more useful to say! eusa_angel.gif

Frankie x

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Hey Ellen,

Thas so weird you're still at work..its 10 pm here!!!

GOod on you for not going to court. Im proud!!

Sorry to hear about skin and hair. I know those days. My hair is pretty bad too. I use aussie intensive leave in conditioner, its really good stuff. Not sure they sell over there though.

Good news on blood tests. Im sure your liver'll be good! i have to go get blood work done on Wednesday but luckily i get mine done for free!!

Bahamian language sounds so cool!!!!

I speak French and German although i havent spoken German for years but my french is pretty good cos i spent about 8 months in france last year and have learnt it since i was 10 and im going to uni to study it. I love languages and travelling and all things like that!

Take care, have a good weekend,

Frankie x

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Hi there Ellen,

Kyle, here, from the U.S. I'm from Louisiana to be exact. Anyway, on to the reply I am making to your post. You seem to be doing exceptionally well with your Accutane. I took accutane in the ninth grade without even having acne. I had some modeling going on, and because of the strong Vitamin A derivative in Accutane, I took it. It increases the cell turnover rate, thus making the skin grow faster and I got new skin. Well, about 2 years later (last year), I started at a new boarding school for academically gifted students. It is the most stressful thing of my life, so I've began to break out. I am about to go back to my doctor Friday and I'm getting Accutane. My acne really has become a big hindrance on my social life. I am such a social butterfly, but however my acne has shut me down. It isn't that bad, but I'm accustomed to having NO acne on my face. I've been on Minocycline, DUAC, and Retin-A for the past 2 months with no progress. I really don't expect to have the "horrible initial breakout" from the Accutane, since I've been on Retin-A for awhile and it has an initial breakout, too. Continue to update us on your acne and your life. You lead a very interesting life. I, too, am a Christian, and I admire you for realizing your life was out of order and attempting to fix it. Good luck with everything. I'll be in the same boat you were in a couple of months ago around Friday! I must jet to my homework now!!!

Warmest regards,

Kyle

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ELLEEEEEEEEN

HELLOOO!!

Its been a while!

Good to hear the wedding went well and face is going well and your car!!

Not so good about knees. I have stopped running too because its just so painful. Ive started taking Glucosamine, cos thats supposed to help out with joints and things.. but only after a long time.

Not sure what to say about Brian/Antwon thing.. but i think you are doing the right thing by Antwon.. definitely... he doesnt seem to lead a very comendable life.

Red marks are so frustrating and some days my skin will look red and some days not so red.. strange strange strange.

Do you know how much longer you have to be on it for?? I have *another* two months.. 6 months in total.. i cant wait till its all over and dont have to take the tabets or pay the crazy amounts of money for them!!

anyway.

all the best,

Hope you buy something nice for youself!! wink.gif

Frankiiieeeeee x

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Ellen I can't even beleive what your journal topics are about. Up until the part where you see Antwon again from the states mirrors my own experiences. I worked at my University over the summer as a tutor for inner city high school kids. I lived with them for 6 weeks, trained for 1, and my co-worker Jake came from england to work there only then return home.

Long story short I fell in love with him. I have NEVER in my life fell in love. It was quite amazing...I felt natrual with him like I was breathing. Well, he had to go back home and that day I cried the hardest in a long while. Sobbing is the actual word I should use.

We Emailed eachother constantly but unfortunately he decided to cope with being in love with me and most likely never seeing me again with pushing me away. He Emailed saying he was going to make an effort to not communicate as much because it wasn't doing him or I any good. I was devestated and my friends told me to move on. Within days after we stopped talking I became closer with George (from anthro class). Jake didn't EMail didn't communicate for a month (we did not speak on the phone just letters and EMails). In that month George and I became incredably close and started dating.

Jake out of no where sends me a birthday package, EMails, and calls me. But George and I continually become closer and I tell Jake about how I am dating George. Suddenly, he gushes how he must see me again and told me i should come during my spring break because he is still in love with me and misses me. He hasn't gotten over me and he hasn't dated anyone. He misses me more than anything and stays up at night thinking about me and how he missed his chance for happiness. My father on his own accord not knowing Jake wanted me to go to England tells me I should take the money I have remaining and see Jake. Surprised and feeling like it was meant to be got a plane ticket for spring break (march) to which Jake was estatic and George saddened.

A month after I purchased the tickets George and I became official and Jake and I have grown slightly apart but I know he loves me still but my love has faded significantly.

I am beginning accutane tomorrow and from what all these logs say about the symptoms it seems as if my face is going to fall off and then I get a new one lol. So since I am with George and he is the most sensitive and amazing guy (Sounds like your Brian) I am not going to screw him over and try my hardest to not betray him if I go to england. I my face is falling apart March 1st I won't go. I have an amazing boyfriend here and to be reminded of what Jake and I had (Ellen you must be devestated to have Antwon around). I won't go. Goodluck to you.

I say respect Brian. Antwon needs to grow first before he can be with you... be with Brian and if it was meant to be Antwon will PROVE himself to you. But I don't think it will be for a long while. (Jake and Antwon sound like two peas in a pod)

-Chrisitna

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eusa_clap.gif Dare I critique your situation?

I love the decision you made. Soon you'll be ready for whatever may happen between Brian and yourself.

I told Jake today that I was officially George's Grilfriend and didn't get a terrible reaction but he asked if I was still going to see him. I told him I might not and he said that I should because he really really wants to see me. Fortunately Jake is a bit more mature than Antwon so I could expect a great time with him if I go and no surprises.

Good luck you and your face and your love life,

I'm on day 3 and I'm already getting oily and my throat feel dry ICK!

-Christina

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Good luck with your treatment.

ANd also a little advice: if your skin is still red use aloe vera. I put a layer of aloe vera on every morning and night. make sure its the kind w/o alchohol..dyes..and fragrance. works for me biggrin.gif

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What! Ellen you have wild aloe in your back yard! lol I won't say I HATE you haha just kidding. My grandmother had a plant of aloe vera...it worked wonders for my cut.

But Damn it that is so cool... You have wild aloe vera in your yard!

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