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autumn-leaf

Just Need To Vent. So Very Unhappy At The Moment.

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Hey guys, sorry for this post, I guess I just need to vent soooo badly!

I am really, really unhappy right now. It's not just the acne, but of course it's a big part of it. I took a low dose of accutane and just finished a few weeks ago, but there are already some pimples coming back. sad.png So I'm really scared I did it all in vain. I use bp just as before the accutane and I hope it'll work, cause I read somewhere some things which didn't really worked before accutane work better after it? Maybe that's just a myth, but I might as well try it.

But acne isn't my only skin problem, I also tend to get cysts everywhere else on my body. As of now, I have one directly under my tailbone. I'm gonna go to the doctor in the next few days and i bet I need to get it removed with an surgery, cause that's how it always goes with these kind of cysts I get. sad.png And of course this will leave a big scar (if it heals right away, that is. They tend to come back a few times before they heal fully..nice isn't it?). Wow. Just what I need, more scars. Haha. Which kind of leads me to my next problem...

There is this guy I know, we met a few times and we get along very, very well. We have "something going", if you know what I mean? Well, but I think he's very shallow-brained (yeah, kind of weird saying this out loud but I still like him. ;-)). So I don't think I could ever continue this thing with him, given the scars I'm going to get from all of this (the cyst, but also all the acne scars). And anyway, I could never ever face him with a breakout. It's not as though I'm in love or anything, but I'm gonna miss the times I spent with him.

And there's more. I don't like the things I'm studying at the university, I'm sure I'm going to drop it. But I don't know what to do instead. I thought about starting an apprenticeship, but as I said, I am just really unsure about this whole thing.

And, lastly, I'm really unhappy where I live right now. I share a flat with some other people but I realized I'd rather live alone. But because I just moved there, I don't really have the money to move again (and I don't want to offend the people I live with by moving out already..Because we all agreed to live together and we always told each other how happy we would be living together, haha:-(). And I don't think my parents would help me.. And of course, I don't know where I would be starting my apprenticeship, if I find one, that is.

I try seeing this as optimistic as I can, but it's hard. I don't want to have another surgery, I don't want to get my acne back, I want to find a nice job..But it's all so very confusing and difficult. I used to have so many dreams, like hiking all over the world with just a backpack and stuff, but of couse I am fearing that my acne would be getting worse doing this. Isn't it sad?

Well, this is all, I guess. It was nice writing all of this down, but just writing it sadly doesn't help it.. I think I will write some job applications tomorrow and just see what comes of it. I don't know if I'd like the job then, but I hope so, of course. ;-)

Sorry for my bad english.

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Well first of all your english is fine, and Im auctually in the same position as you. I really like this girl right now, I took her out last night and wore just a little foundation. Just to help with the PIH.. But you know what, im gonna try to take this girl out again and see where it goes, if acne turns her off then atleast I tried, and I know shes not the one for me. But if its not a problem then shes a genuine person and would love to start a relationship with her. So I say you take another shot with him, put some makeup on and look pretty no matter what. You never know what can happen, he might not even notice it. Trust me I know it will be hard, but in the end I think you'll be much happier if you atleast give it a shot. Live with no regrets. I hope the best for you

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I feel for you :( I'm on my last month of Accutane and just a few days ago I got this horrible breakout in my cheeks :/ And I'm 1 month to go after 7 months of this. My hair got worse, by back hurts, my eyes are dry as f*ck, my nose has bled a billion times... side effects have been bitches.

I'm optimistic about getting better, though. It all turned into scabs so I'm hopeful about no marks being left. I'm sure the same will happen to you, and that you will not have to go back into it. It's normal to have a few pimples at the end of the treatment, but that doesn't mean future acne. Be hopeful!! :)

Best of luck to you ;)

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Thanks for your support, guys!

@notanoutsider: Yeah, well, the problem is, that I actually took accutane a few years back and the acne all came back.. And now I'm fearing that the same will happen this time! So I'm very paranoid about the tiniest of pimples and sometimes I just feel like crying. The worst side effect for me was the hair-loss. I still have it, though. And I have very long hair, so it's making me very depressed seeing all the hair falling out.. :( Granted, I don't really know for sure if the hair loss isn't due to the new birth control pill I started simultaneously with the accutane..I think I will just wait some more weeks and if it still falls out, then I guess it may be the pill rather than the accutane causing this.. But really, I just don't want to change bc again, I've been through my fair share of those throughout the last years and I tend to get MAJOR breakouts starting a new one..The one which worked the best without any side effects is actually just safe to take for just 1/2 year, then you have to stop it.. Ugh, it's really annoying.

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I'm sorry Accutane wasn't a long term solution to your problem. I wish there was one cure to get rid of stubborn acne. I am going on a strict elimination diet with daily exercise, and at least 15-30 minutes of relaxation to control my stress levels.

I want to go backpacking in another country too. I would like to go in the summer. You should do it despite the condition of your skin. You don't want your skin to prevent you from experiencing life.

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Just got back from the hospital, they had to remove the cyst I had via surgery.. I hope it doesn't come back and that they got all "the bad stuff" out.

As for my life, I made a decision: I don't want to start an apprenticeship this year, because I'm just not sure which kind of job I want to work in later and it would be a too spontaneous thing applying for one right now. So I guess I will wait another year and decide then. As for the following year, I will take university easy and really just attend the courses I like and see fit. So this gives me a relatively free summer in which I can roam around and hopefully come to a conclusion.

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