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"...Then I Wake up in the Morning and Reality Really Blows"

WELLLLLLL hello there =)

The name is Lu or Louie , whichever you prefer...I'm not picky...unless it comes to my skin of course ;p OH & I'm a female, don't let the name fool ya. I weigh 125 at 5'6" and just turned 20 last month and yup I'm in college. Took the semester off though to treat to my insecurities. Crazy for taking months off?! YOU BETCHA! haha but it was necessary. I'll reveal more about myself and the extremities I've gone to because of acne as my entries progress. TRUST ME, you're in for a good laugh in the upcoming months, as well as occasional pity parties, moments of extreme euphoria, pitted lows, several rants (in which I shall utilize analogies, quotes, historical references, and random facts), examples of a loss of sanity, overused sarcasm, movie references, boy problems, and nonetheless some rather shy optimism. After all, you must be positive when going on a roller coaster. If not, you might as well just not buckle yourself in and fall off on the first dip. SOOO even throughout moments of doubt and insane outbursts, I just want you all the know in advance...yeah you, and you ...and even you wink.png ... that although what I write may sound as positive as the negative side of a battery, I must advise you that I AM staying positive and I know that things will get better.

So here's the situation people, I am an acne sufferer. No surprise there of course. Question is, how did I get to such a moderate persistent torturous case? Well in my past life I obviously kicked helpless orphans around for fun, threw innocent defenseless baby animals off of cliffs until they plummeted to their deaths, and drank beer with Hitler on weekends over a good laugh on how the gas chambers resembled large easy bake ovens at the Auschwitz concentration camps. No really though people, I'm convinced I must've been an awful person in my previous life because ACNE IS FREAKING HELL and no one deserves such a disfiguring appearance...unless you're starring in one of John Carpenter's slasher movies that is...in which case I'm not...SO...yea.

Is it pretty sad that I would've rather been born with an extra pinky toe than suffer from acne? No? I didn't think so either. Glad we're on the same page.

CONFESSION- I started Accutane in mid October, so I've been on it for two months already. You'd think I'd be clear right? NOPE. Exactly why I've decided to make this wonderful blog to keep track of my progress (it better be strictly progress from here on or I'm kicking the Accutane fairies in the butt) for the next 4 months.

These past two months have been an EXTREME nightmare. I've suffered with acne for a good four years now so it's not like I expected it to pull a Houdini and do a disappearing act in the matter of 60 days.. but c'mon now...is a little more progress too much to ask for? "Yes it is," exclaimed the Acne Gods in a deep monotone voice. I wish I could express my anger in ravenous vulgarity and offensive profanity...but I agreed to the Acne.org terms and conditions. I would rebel, but I wanna stick around a bit longer. & of course, I wouldn't want any of you to miss a good show.

SO YEAH, lets talk acne. Aside from the fact that the word itself makes me want to regurgitate my lunch, its currently part of my appearance and that would be like throwing up on my own face. Definitely not the cure. And possibly not the best facial mask either.

The past couple of months before I started Accutane my acne flared up horribly...cysts galore...and clogged pores...and regular pimples...and ugliness. I went to my derm and hopped on the Accutane bandwagon. I've been on 40 mg once daily for two months and just recently got on 40 mg/80 mg (alternating between 40 mg one day and 80 mg the next day). Oddly, barely any dryness. I mean, my face isn't oily anymore but if I ditched the moisturizer, it wouldn't be flaky either. My lips are just pruney (not a word I know...but it's the best way I could describe it-pruned). But my lips have always sort of been kinda dry like that from the lack of water I drink I suppose. Now I drink tons though so no worries. My face exploded the past two month. Not pretty. I isolated myself within my room of course.

SIDE NOTE- just wait until you hear in my next entry for how long and mentally f'ed up I am because of my acne.

I don't seem to be breaking out too bad right now but I've got lots of red marks. Yup, I picked at my face. Friggen sue me. But even the ones I didn't touch turned into marks.

Here I am, making an imaginary suggestion box for you all. Please feel free to drop in some suggestions as to how to get rid of these friggen marks or heal them up quicker while taking this bad boy tane.

THIS POST IS WAY TOO LONG haha my sincerest apologies ladies and gents. I'll describe my first and second month in my next entry and then other updates later on.

BTW the title is none other than Joan Jett in all her brilliance. I'd absofrickenlutely go lesbian for this woman!!! Even though the movie the runaways did her no justice, I liked it as well. The song is called 'frustrated' my dudes. SO APPROPRIATE...I'm sure you could all picture me typing this with this song blasting in the background on repeat. & yup I totally tweaked the lyrics and made it relate to my acne . Feel free to do the same.

O and I've been taking pictures of my horrid complexion. Not posting any of them until I can lift my skirt and see some balls...or in other words, develop some courage lol Prob unveiling them all at the end. this should be fun =) the anticipation.

til next time wink.png toodles my fellow beauties

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Started on October 7th.

Month 1- 40 mg once daily

Month 2 - 40 mg once daily

Month 3- alternating between 40 mg and 80 mg once daily

Month 4-

Month 5-

Month 6-

I wash with cetaphil morning and night and moisturize with Pevonia Sensitive Skin moisturizer. I was previously using Aveeno lotion and sometimes cetaphil lotion but it sucked so I switched obvi.

As for makeup, I use Jane Iredale loose powder in light warm silk. But I'm in search for something liquid for better coverage. Suggestions pwetty please. (I was in hideout and rarely stepped out of the house so I haven't really been using makeup).

"All I wanna do is play rock & roll and live a little."

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I have a feeling I'm going to love reading your log!

Good luck with the rest of your course...I'm almost done with my first month and so far I'm not really improving either. Poop.

I will definitely follow your progress!

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hahahaa reading this post is like reading a narrative of what goes on in my brain (although a much more interesting one :P)

i started at a similar time as you (oct 7ish) and im on 40mg as well! I have ALSO taken this semester off (from highschool though) because of my acne!

good luck on your course! :)

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More please! (i wish you're blog was finished then i could read it through like a novel- with an amazingly gorgeous ending of course)

And good luck ! Im one month behind on 20mg. I wish there was something to be done for those red marks!

Edited by Glidden

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PMalaska,

AH Thank you! I'll def keep it interesting =D I see that you've started at 80 mg?! LUCKY CAT ! so jealous. I want a raise in my dosage (I'm under the false impression that the more the merrier, haha). I'm adopting a Russian accent and storming into my dermatologist's office on my next visit with a bandana and a heavy machine gun and demanding he surge more poison through my system! ...Just kidding...but not really hahaha What condition is your skin in as of right now? Hopefully you'll start improving during this second month =) Wishing you the best of luck!

slowandsteady,

Get the hell out of here, you took time off too! =D I just wanna say that this is very comforting. I'm dubbing you my long lost twin, it's official. I hate lying, it's not my style but I conjured up a few lies during my disappearance these past few months. Just wait til' you hear them a little further along in this entry. It's crazy the things that we'll do because of acne: cancel plans, hide out in our caverns until a few blemish die down, lie to people and say we're busy but really we're just extremely embarrassed to be seen by anyone...O and skip school of course haha. But yeah, is your acne dying down so far? I really hope so =)

Glidden,

There will be plenty more and with shorter intervals between updates, I can promise ya that =) How's the lower dosage working for you? Seemed like 40 mg just wasn't cutting it for my persistent cystic acne. Hoping you're seeing nothing but improvements though =) Let me know

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

AH well I'm going to update my Accutane journey tonight, but I just wanted to say hellloooooo =) and answer back. I've been really busy lately more than ever... piling on makeup of course -_- Such a bummer. I looked at my face in the bathroom mirror and thought 'Wow, only a few breakouts but the marks seem to be healing.' Total let down when I caught a glimpse of my face in bright light outside. RED MARKS GALORE! Instantly got upset and rushed inside for my cosmetics. ANKAEIKNCAKNCLKA ugh so frustrated!!!! Never felt so unattractive before. Conquered by anxiety...I start my spring semester in one month exactly... and the thought of this not being better by then scares the living hell out of me. Sharing showers at my dorm where I must wash off my makeup and reveal my horrible skin is so defeating. Let alone, playing college softball and having my red marks become irritated and prominently red.

I feel like my skin has betrayed me. *Cue in sad music* ...*followed by the world's smallest violin*

One of my brothers has porcelain skin. I saw him this morning and felt compelled to sparta kick his pretty face. I kept my composure though. I didn't want to make a mess in the kitchen.

Well I gotta go about my day, whether I want to or not. I might contact the devil before dinner and sell my soul for a pretty complexion. Just a thought. I'll let you know how that works out.

Hugs <3333

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Your log is going to be super interesting and fun to read! Can't wait for another update.

Edited by bigdreams

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Glidden,

There will be plenty more and with shorter intervals between updates, I can promise ya that =) How's the lower dosage working for you? Seemed like 40 mg just wasn't cutting it for my persistent cystic acne. Hoping you're seeing nothing but improvements though =) Let me know

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

. I looked at my face in the bathroom mirror and thought 'Wow, only a few breakouts but the marks seem to be healing.' Total let down when I caught a glimpse of my face in bright light outside. RED MARKS GALORE! Instantly got upset and rushed inside

Hugs <3333

hi again!

20mg is working great for me. Ive gone up to 20mg with 40mg on alternate days for the second month.

Currently have just three actives (actually, correction, 2 actives- i just rechecked). And the only side effect im getting is dryness. The clusters of cystic spots on my cheeks have gone and i can feel smoothness! The red marks and bumps/indents in their place are reducing too! And this is only day 40! Its gone fast! Hope i havent spoken too soon!

Keep going! I highlighted a part of your post- I hope im not just seeing things!

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slowandsteady,

Get the hell out of here, you took time off too! =D I just wanna say that this is very comforting. I'm dubbing you my long lost twin, it's official. I hate lying, it's not my style but I conjured up a few lies during my disappearance these past few months. Just wait til' you hear them a little further along in this entry. It's crazy the things that we'll do because of acne: cancel plans, hide out in our caverns until a few blemish die down, lie to people and say we're busy but really we're just extremely embarrassed to be seen by anyone...O and skip school of course haha. But yeah, is your acne dying down so far? I really hope so =)

Hugs <3333

oooh man do I know how it feels to have to make up some absolute bullllllll shit to avoid seeing your friends. I'm suddenly an extremely productive and busy person. HAH. i hate blowing my friends off, and I am going crazy with this anti social behaviour. But i just keep telling myself that all will be done with in a few months. I assume I'll be off accutane in about 2 months. (I hope) My acne's definitely gone down in redness and cysts FINALLY. There this one damn red bugger that wont die down right at the front of my cheeks. Been there for a good week now. Dunno how to combat it. I THINK i might be starting to see results after 3 long months. pretty envious of ppl who got results within a month.

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