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Just feeling blue today.

The deal is, not even a TAD of an exaggeration, I have NO. LIFE. I really don't. I don't have the acne problems like I did when I was younger, but I still feel like that same person. SO awkward and shy, but just on a personal level. Like, I have a good job, and it's like 100% customer service and social and friendly (David's Bridal), and I do it well. But when a friend or someone from work asks to hang out I avoid it like the plague and I always say no and give lame excuses. I just CANNOT break out of my shell, it's so freakin' hard! I can chit chat and talk to strangers like there's no tomorrow, and yet when it's face to face with someone who actually wants to get to know me and likes me, I FREAK OUT. I'm just so self-conscious and I always feel awkward and embarrassed just about myself in general.

What do you guys do for that, and what would you suggest?

cry.gif

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Mate, dont make the same mistake as I did. Dont push yourself away from people who care about you. I know its hard but put all the negative thoughts about acne behind you and go out, enjoy yourself and have fun.

I took everything for granted, and now I have nothing QQ.

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I can totally relate to that. I always thought it was because of my skin and that everything would sort of work itself out when my skin cleared. My skin did clear for a while and the realisation that things wouldn't magically change and that I had wasted so many years regardless actually caused me to have a breakdown. It's many years since I had a social life and friends to spend time with. I got fired from my job as well so that's another aspect I'm missing and I feel totally out of touch and isolated these days. Most of the time, I don't leave the house unless I have to and nobody's really going to notice if I don't get out of bed because I'm not on anyone's redar, so to speak.

Sometimes, my reason for staying indoors is my skin. Like for the last week or so, I made such a mess of it by picking and I just wanted to hide. But even when it's clear, I don't go anywhere because I've nowhere to go and hate going places alone these days. I didn't used o mind, but now it just symbolises how I don't have any friends and how I feel so far left behind with regards to the experiences of other my age. I'm not sure why it is, but I have such a hard time reading social situations and what people are doing around me and I really struggle to behave in a way which makes me feel like I fit, so I just bail every time.

All I would to you is that if you have friends you can spend time with, try your best. Take small steps - maybe you could initiate something with one or two of them and so that way you'll feel like you're in control of the situation rather than being invited along. Just as you might have got into the habit of cancelling, push yourself and get into the habit of seeing it through. That would become the normal way eventually and you wouldn't think anything of it. And maybe you could discuss these feelings with your friends because I they love you as a friend for who you are, they'll stick by you and help you through. Just don't cancel everything and push them away because, if my experience is anything to go by, they eventually stop calling and then you're totally on your own.

Good luck! :)

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I can totally relate to that. I always thought it was because of my skin and that everything would sort of work itself out when my skin cleared. My skin did clear for a while and the realisation that things wouldn't magically change and that I had wasted so many years regardless actually caused me to have a breakdown. It's many years since I had a social life and friends to spend time with. I got fired from my job as well so that's another aspect I'm missing and I feel totally out of touch and isolated these days. Most of the time, I don't leave the house unless I have to and nobody's really going to notice if I don't get out of bed because I'm not on anyone's redar, so to speak.

Sometimes, my reason for staying indoors is my skin. Like for the last week or so, I made such a mess of it by picking and I just wanted to hide. But even when it's clear, I don't go anywhere because I've nowhere to go and hate going places alone these days. I didn't used o mind, but now it just symbolises how I don't have any friends and how I feel so far left behind with regards to the experiences of other my age. I'm not sure why it is, but I have such a hard time reading social situations and what people are doing around me and I really struggle to behave in a way which makes me feel like I fit, so I just bail every time.

All I would to you is that if you have friends you can spend time with, try your best. Take small steps - maybe you could initiate something with one or two of them and so that way you'll feel like you're in control of the situation rather than being invited along. Just as you might have got into the habit of cancelling, push yourself and get into the habit of seeing it through. That would become the normal way eventually and you wouldn't think anything of it. And maybe you could discuss these feelings with your friends because I they love you as a friend for who you are, they'll stick by you and help you through. Just don't cancel everything and push them away because, if my experience is anything to go by, they eventually stop calling and then you're totally on your own.

Good luck! smile.png

Wow... it's like we're living the exact same life.

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Get a few really great outfits, put some makeup on and force yourself. It's a vicious cycle if you don't. The only way to get over it is to get out there. If you don't, it'll never happen.

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Just feeling blue today.

The deal is, not even a TAD of an exaggeration, I have NO. LIFE. I really don't. I don't have the acne problems like I did when I was younger, but I still feel like that same person. SO awkward and shy, but just on a personal level. Like, I have a good job, and it's like 100% customer service and social and friendly (David's Bridal), and I do it well. But when a friend or someone from work asks to hang out I avoid it like the plague and I always say no and give lame excuses. I just CANNOT break out of my shell, it's so freakin' hard! I can chit chat and talk to strangers like there's no tomorrow, and yet when it's face to face with someone who actually wants to get to know me and likes me, I FREAK OUT. I'm just so self-conscious and I always feel awkward and embarrassed just about myself in general.

What do you guys do for that, and what would you suggest?

cry.gif

I know the feeling.

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i know EXACTLY what you mean.It took me some time but once i did something totally i wouldnt do i wasnt as hesitant the next time a oppurtunity came around

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I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. 100%. I have lost all of my friends by hiding and being too shy to go out, I'll be honest.. I have no friends right now. All I have is my SO but I can't rely on him forever. No one to call and hang out with, all because of my social anxiety. When someone wants to hang out with me I freak out just like you, and make up petty excuses. Please don't make the same mistakes as I did, you will regret it sad.png I really have no other tips, but like Paul said, just take small steps for now! x

Edited by bigdreams

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