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beentheredonethat1

Worst Thing About Having Bad Acne/ Acne Scars Is The Loneliness It Causes

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you feel like a total wreck but no one can understand how you feel. you tell somebody how you feel and all you get are these, "it's not that bad", "there are worse things", "people has it worse than you", et cetera. people can go ballistic over a tiny little pimple/ mark/ whatever on their face, so how do you think i can be fine, having these bullshit on my face? that's why you dont wanna consult. you keep to yourself. you get really insecure. you create a barrier around yourself. you are so sensitive that when anyone tries to make a comment about you, you become aggressive. it's hard to go socialise. all you see are people with clear skin. when you are around them, you can't help but keep thinking how awkward you look, in comparison, to them. you try so fucking hard to find solutions but all to no avail. you read unsuccessful stories here and there. it seems so hopeless. SCARS are permenant. now what? what do you do? you are all alone.

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This is definitely true for me as well. I don't think it's true for all people (and I really envy the people who can rise past all the insecurity), mind you, but even though I understand that I'm being incredibly irrational in feeling so self-conscious over my skin when other people really do "have worse problems" and all that, the mere recognition of irrationality does not beget any actual change of feeling.

It's kind of funny. I used to be one of those people who would get totally ballistic over a single pimple back when I didn't have acne, yet while I was always super fussy about my own skin I barely noticed other people's. I only found out recently that a friend of mine had had moderate acne throughout high school - when she referred back to it during one of our conversations about a month ago, I actually asked her if she'd had the acne before I transferred into the high school we attended together. She gave me a very strange look and told me no, she'd had some form of it all the way into senior year. But I honestly never noticed, or if I did it was so transitory that I couldn't even remember any of it when prompted.

Anyways, the point of that anecdote is that I've been on both sides of the fence so I kind of sympathize with clear-skinned people inclined to "dismiss" or behave (unintentionally) insentively to both our skin problems and the psychological issues that result from said skin problems.

As for the scarring, I don't know how bad yours are, but if they're not too severe you can probably get rid of at least some of them, albeit for a hefty price. I'm personally prepared to spend thousands at least. I'm one of those people who doesn't deal well with surprises and/or uncertainty, so having a plan in mind for how to get back on my feet after my acne fades is the biggest thing motivating me right now. I figure I'll weather the loneliness for now (and try to improve my personality now that I have all the free time in the world from being anti-social) before slowly integrating myself back into society when I'm ready.

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Nobody realises what acne does to you, especially if bullying accompanies it. It's more than an ugly batch of spots, you just feel dirty and adjust yourself to look better in certain lighting... Even after it's gone you focus on every flaw on your skin and getting a random spot causes you to panic like no other! At least that's the way it is for me.

For those who get the odd zit, it's like "oh gosh, how am I gonna get rid of that?" and carry on with their daily business.

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you feel like a total wreck but no one can understand how you feel. you tell somebody how you feel and all you get are these, "it's not that bad", "there are worse things", "people has it worse than you", et cetera.

Well, what kind of reaction would do it for you then? The things you mentioned there actually make sense to me?

It's not that bad: Obviously if someone says this to you and is sincere...you should feel better. Which is the intention of the person who says this to you... Why must you feel better? Well, apparently your acne has dented you psychologically which may be understandable... But the thing you should take from this is that your acne in and of itself isn't something that will disrupt your life. So if you can fix the psychological issues that have stemmed from your reaction to having acne you'd be "in the clear". No pun intended!

There are worse things & People have it worse than you: This is actually valuable too. So don't dismiss this one as a useless, hollow, cliché either. There are worse things. If acne is the only problem you have, consider yourself lucky. The point being..........that you have to realize that the quality of life that you have, as long as it is acceptable/on a certain level, should be enough. I remember a well-known conductor being asked if one shouldn't expect too much of life and almost before the question was asked he replied, saying no with teary eyes. One should realize that life isn't one big party. It's a lot of disappointments, hardship, sadness... That is a side of life that you can't cut out/avoid. Everyone's in the same boat that way. No one has a perfect life. You might have acne but other people have things in their lives that are equally undesireable if not even more undesireable. And if everyone was to let those undesireable things thwart their plans/make them miserable hardly anyone would be enjoying anything anymore. Realizing that having undesireable things in your life just comes with the territory may make it all a bit more acceptable. If you were to go blind tomorrow do you know what you'd think? You'd think "Omg, I can't believe I was so unsatisfied before I went blind. If I was to regain my sight tomorrow, I'd be happy. I realize now that I just had to get past that silly acne and enjoy my life.". You see, a thing like that wakes you up where you may be asleep right now, metaphorically speaking. You'd be all the more aware of just how many opportunities you have and all the more appreciative of the overall quality of your life.

people can go ballistic over a tiny little pimple/ mark/ whatever on their face, so how do you think i can be fine, having these bullshit on my face? that's why you dont wanna consult. you keep to yourself. you get really insecure. you create a barrier around yourself. you are so sensitive that when anyone tries to make a comment about you, you become aggressive. it's hard to go socialise. all you see are people with clear skin. when you are around them, you can't help but keep thinking how awkward you look, in comparison, to them. you try so fucking hard to find solutions but all to no avail. you read unsuccessful stories here and there. it seems so hopeless. SCARS are permenant. now what? what do you do? you are all alone.

You're making me cry man. Which isn't what you want. What you want is to post something that makes me happy. Like e.g. "Yo dudes, I'm not gonna let another year, month, week, day, minute, second, moment slip through my fingers! I'm done with being sad because I have acne. Time to move on. What am I gonna do? End up a 40 year old recluse?! No way! I'm going to live my life to the fullest! Yay!".

I'd like to say that nothing I said here was condescending. I never trivialized your problems. I only added my two cents with the best intentions.

All the best,

Lapis

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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you feel like a total wreck but no one can understand how you feel. you tell somebody how you feel and all you get are these, "it's not that bad", "there are worse things", "people has it worse than you", et cetera. people can go ballistic over a tiny little pimple/ mark/ whatever on their face, so how do you think i can be fine, having these bullshit on my face? that's why you dont wanna consult. you keep to yourself. you get really insecure. you create a barrier around yourself. you are so sensitive that when anyone tries to make a comment about you, you become aggressive. it's hard to go socialise. all you see are people with clear skin. when you are around them, you can't help but keep thinking how awkward you look, in comparison, to them. you try so fucking hard to find solutions but all to no avail. you read unsuccessful stories here and there. it seems so hopeless. SCARS are permenant. now what? what do you do? you are all alone.

we've all been there, and until theres a guaranteed solution for getting rid of acne and scars permanently and with a 100% success rate, a lot of people will feel that way every day. How you handle it is up to you; everything you wrote up there, it was like reading about me! there were times when i gave up on ever having clear skin and cut so much out of life so i could sit at home and cry, even now i get fewer breakouts but my body i ruined by scars....i dont know when exactly but i just realised i wanted more from my life than thinking about how my acne and scars are holding me back, so i wokred hard on my confidence and now im a happy, mostly secure person WITH acne and WITH scars, but also with great friends, a loving family, and my only obstacles are those that ill place in my own way! be strong

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I guess it comes down to finding inner strength and focusing on the qualities you have a person. Not that I know how to do that, but that's what's left to work on if there's not much you can do about scars. I feel the same about my skin, in that it has its ups and downs and I do my best, but sometimes my best isn't good enough and it breaks out. When it does, I totally withdrawn. It doesn't even have to be bad and it doesn't have to scar. My lack of confidence is such that even the slightest of breakouts is enough to make me break down. So again, that becomes all about finding inner strength in order to carry on through those times regardless otherwise life passes by. Don't give up hope and don't give up trying, and with any luck, you'll find a coping mechanism which allows you to get through and be the best person you can be.

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There are worse things & People have it worse than you: This is actually valuable too. So don't dismiss this one as a useless, hollow, cliché either. There are worse things. If acne is the only problem you have, consider yourself lucky. The point being..........that you have to realize that the quality of life that you have, as long as it is acceptable/on a certain level, should be enough. I remember a well-known conductor being asked if one shouldn't expect too much of life and almost before the question was asked he replied, saying no with teary eyes. One should realize that life isn't one big party. It's a lot of disappointments, hardship, sadness... That is a side of life that you can't cut out/avoid. Everyone's in the same boat that way. No one has a perfect life. You might have acne but other people have things in their lives that are equally undesireable if not even more undesireable. And if everyone was to let those undesireable things thwart their plans/make them miserable hardly anyone would be enjoying anything anymore. Realizing that having undesireable things in your life just comes with the territory may make it all a bit more acceptable. If you were to go blind tomorrow do you know what you'd think? You'd think "Omg, I can't believe I was so unsatisfied before I went blind. If I was to regain my sight tomorrow, I'd be happy. I realize now that I just had to get past that silly acne and enjoy my life.". You see, a thing like that wakes you up where you may be asleep right now, metaphorically speaking. You'd be all the more aware of just how many opportunities you have and all the more appreciative of the overall quality of your life.

This is really honest and most of the things he said are true. I want to share something that I know and i always use it when my thoughts about acne make me feel ugly and just depressed, it may sound cheesy and way too religious but it's the truth in various ways. My grandma was a very christian person and once told me: 'You have to be thankful about what you have in your life. Such as food, clothing, shelter, education/work because you don't know how many people struggle or even die fighting everyday just to get a piece of bread on their mouths everyday..'

As i said before, for many this may sound very fanatic-like, but if you really think about it it's true. You don't have to center ALL your life actions towards acne, and stop living fully because of it. It is hard to understand this, but at the end it can really help you improve your life without being worried about something superficial and/or temporary.

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I'm always lonely. Everyone else in my classroom are laughing and having fun, while I just sit there, finishing my homework. People ask me "Why are you such a loner?" and one of my friends said "Why are you so quiet? I miss the old Kara." that made me so sad. And it's sad that acne caused all of that. :( but maybe when my acne clears, I will return to the "old Kara" I have high hopes!

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I'm always lonely. Everyone else in my classroom are laughing and having fun, while I just sit there, finishing my homework. People ask me "Why are you such a loner?" and one of my friends said "Why are you so quiet? I miss the old Kara." that made me so sad. And it's sad that acne caused all of that. sad.png but maybe when my acne clears, I will return to the "old Kara" I have high hopes!

This.

I took my skin for granted. I used to have flawless skin and when I did, I didn't appreciate it. I was always wishing for a straighter nose, greener eyes, better cheek bones, etc. Now, I'm thankful to have days where my make up can actually cover most of my spots. I know how each and every one of you are feeling. I've definitely been there and I'm still there. We all just have to stay strong and support one another!

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I'm always lonely. Everyone else in my classroom are laughing and having fun, while I just sit there, finishing my homework. People ask me "Why are you such a loner?" and one of my friends said "Why are you so quiet? I miss the old Kara." that made me so sad. And it's sad that acne caused all of that. sad.png but maybe when my acne clears, I will return to the "old Kara" I have high hopes!

Awww, Kara, sorry to hear you feel that way. I hope you can find ways to combat that loneliness and sadness. Believe me when I say that those feelings don't automatically go away when your skin clears. They might do, but the feelings are on the inside so there's a chance they could still be within even after you change what's on the outside. So see if you can work on those feelings and on yourself in the meantime. See if you can work on being the best person you can be - for yourself and others - regardless of what your skin may be doing. I hope you can get the old Kara back. Actually, you could create a new and improved version of yourself, as someone who not only has all those old ways which your friends obviously appreciate, but also as someone who is stronger as a result of dealing with the struggles your skin has caused you. :)

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The worst thing about having acne scars is having acne scars.

Haha true that. At least breakouts you can manage, scarring is not as easy and nor is it a short term fix thing which is why I hate it so much. Mine is as bad as it was months ago...very little change

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The worst thing about having acne scars is having acne scars.

So if acne scars were suddenly the "hot new thing" and everybody wanted a piece of you and fawned all over you because you had acne scars, they'd still be the worst?

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The worst thing about having acne scars is having acne scars.

So if acne scars were suddenly the "hot new thing" and everybody wanted a piece of you and fawned all over you because you had acne scars, they'd still be the worst?

I love that. haha That's an interesting thought.

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I'm always lonely. Everyone else in my classroom are laughing and having fun, while I just sit there, finishing my homework. People ask me "Why are you such a loner?" and one of my friends said "Why are you so quiet? I miss the old Kara." that made me so sad. And it's sad that acne caused all of that. sad.png but maybe when my acne clears, I will return to the "old Kara" I have high hopes!

This.

I took my skin for granted. I used to have flawless skin and when I did, I didn't appreciate it. I was always wishing for a straighter nose, greener eyes, better cheek bones, etc. Now, I'm thankful to have days where my make up can actually cover most of my spots. I know how each and every one of you are feeling. I've definitely been there and I'm still there. We all just have to stay strong and support one another!

Exactly! I used to do the same thing! And then when i got acne I realized how stupid I was. Thats what I'm gonna start working on, being more grateful and pointing out the good stuff I have instead of the bad.

I'm always lonely. Everyone else in my classroom are laughing and having fun, while I just sit there, finishing my homework. People ask me "Why are you such a loner?" and one of my friends said "Why are you so quiet? I miss the old Kara." that made me so sad. And it's sad that acne caused all of that. sad.png but maybe when my acne clears, I will return to the "old Kara" I have high hopes!

Awww, Kara, sorry to hear you feel that way. I hope you can find ways to combat that loneliness and sadness. Believe me when I say that those feelings don't automatically go away when your skin clears. They might do, but the feelings are on the inside so there's a chance they could still be within even after you change what's on the outside. So see if you can work on those feelings and on yourself in the meantime. See if you can work on being the best person you can be - for yourself and others - regardless of what your skin may be doing. I hope you can get the old Kara back. Actually, you could create a new and improved version of yourself, as someone who not only has all those old ways which your friends obviously appreciate, but also as someone who is stronger as a result of dealing with the struggles your skin has caused you. smile.png

Thanks! You give great advice. Yea you're right, I'm gonna try to make myself better, I dont always have to go back to the old me. Maybe my friends would like the new me even better than the old me :) I'm gonna start being more grateful for now on. :D

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Strange, on my car ride home from school it was raining and I was looking at my really scenic perfect/quiet neighborhood with rain pooring down and I was looking at a dead end street, and I just imagined what it would be like to have a boyfriend and be in the car with him cuddling while parked in the dead end street, while it was pouring rain outsde and no cars were passing by. Then outloud I just said "I want a boyfriend." I realized then that the reason why I want clear skin so bad is to have a boyfriend to cuddle with, watch a scary movie with, and do romantic things with. That is what I really want in life, and that's why I'm trying to clear my skin so that one day I can stay warm with a guy in the rain.

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Strange, on my car ride home from school it was raining and I was looking at my really scenic perfect/quiet neighborhood with rain pooring down and I was looking at a dead end street, and I just imagined what it would be like to have a boyfriend and be in the car with him cuddling while parked in the dead end street, while it was pouring rain outsde and no cars were passing by. Then outloud I just said "I want a boyfriend." I realized then that the reason why I want clear skin so bad is to have a boyfriend to cuddle with, watch a scary movie with, and do romantic things with. That is what I really want in life, and that's why I'm trying to clear my skin so that one day I can stay warm with a guy in the rain.

I wonder what those kind of moments are like. Not with a guy though. And I can't drive. But it does rain a lot here so I guess one out of three isn't so bad... :lol:

Not sure I really feel like I'm missing out because I can't see how I could miss something I've never had and have no experience of, but those kind of scenarios do sound nice. I bet there are lots of people out there who take them for granted. No reason why you or I or any of us couldn't find those things in life, as long as we put ourselves out there and be the best people we can be. Of course, if you need to get your skin clear before you can feel able to do those things, I guess you can at least take comfort for now in knowing that you are doing something about it and that you are taking positive steps to work on yourself and improve your skin. Sure you'll get there and achieve your aim in the end. :)

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Strange, on my car ride home from school it was raining and I was looking at my really scenic perfect/quiet neighborhood with rain pooring down and I was looking at a dead end street, and I just imagined what it would be like to have a boyfriend and be in the car with him cuddling while parked in the dead end street, while it was pouring rain outsde and no cars were passing by. Then outloud I just said "I want a boyfriend." I realized then that the reason why I want clear skin so bad is to have a boyfriend to cuddle with, watch a scary movie with, and do romantic things with. That is what I really want in life, and that's why I'm trying to clear my skin so that one day I can stay warm with a guy in the rain.

I wonder what those kind of moments are like. Not with a guy though. And I can't drive. But it does rain a lot here so I guess one out of three isn't so bad... lol.gif

Not sure I really feel like I'm missing out because I can't see how I could miss something I've never had and have no experience of, but those kind of scenarios do sound nice. I bet there are lots of people out there who take them for granted. No reason why you or I or any of us couldn't find those things in life, as long as we put ourselves out there and be the best people we can be. Of course, if you need to get your skin clear before you can feel able to do those things, I guess you can at least take comfort for now in knowing that you are doing something about it and that you are taking positive steps to work on yourself and improve your skin. Sure you'll get there and achieve your aim in the end. smile.png

yes, right now im doing a raw vegan diet, today is day 2...I'm really doing something that I know will clear my skin so one day I can be beautiful

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