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helpchicken

Sorry But I Need To Vent To Someone

hey all, im sure you guys here these vents all th etime and sorry for that, but i just need to talk about it with someone, instead of keeping it all bottled in

just today i revisted this site and have read through a lot of the posts in this section, mostly about acne.. but what i have realized is that acne really isnt that bad, because it really is a common occurence for many

what i have realized, and what troubles me, are skin afflictions that are not acne, such as oily skin, red skin, etc

in my case, my acne does not bother me in comparison to my other problems, having red skin, an oily nose, and sebborheic dermatitis on my cheeks+chin.. these problems have made me realize that even though i have moderate acne, i would rather have worse acne and just have "normal" skin, that was even with my forehead and the rest of my body

and i think the worst part is how it all started with me using dan's regimen.. obviously the bp was too much for my sensitive skin, and i still have red skin for over 10 months now, and im afraid it will never go away, despite me trying to heal it using natural ingredients

and just a couple months ago, i developed sebborheic dermatitis, and i think thats what i dislike the most.. im afraid to get really close to a person because they will see all these small white flakes on my skin.. and while doing research people say there is no true cure for this dermatitis, but it can go into remission.. which worries me

the thing i hate most about my skin afflictions, but mainly the dermatitis, is the fear that i will never be able to have a relationship with a girl anymore.. im just afraid that no girl would want to be with someone with so many skin problems besides the common acne problem, and if this dermatitis has no cure.. i dont know how i can build the self-confidence to try to go back to dating

im 18 and it is my first year of college, and already ive limited myself socially beacause of my skin.. and have yet to go out on a date with a girl here because of my skin.. i just dont know how to fix my skin either, which truely troubles me

well thats my vent really.. i dont really know how to word this, but i guess what i would like to ask is if any girl would want to be with a guy who suffers from so many different skin afflictions? how could they tell their friends this is who they chose to be with? i feel im a pretty normal guy and i have friends who are girls, but i dont think i can take that extra step to ask a girl out looking like this.. it makes me feel very bleak you know?

i see you guys are really nice+helpful in this section, so i appreciate any feedback

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Girls are easy. Not like that. Well some are. What am I talking about. Of course you have your superficial princesses, but many girls are willing to overlook undesirable physical afflictions if you have a quality they are attracted to. You are in a bad place if you care about what her friends think of your looks. You have an unhealthy perception of women that usually only exist in the world of television and movies.

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well thats my vent really.. i dont really know how to word this, but i guess what i would like to ask is if any girl would want to be with a guy who suffers from so many different skin afflictions?

its not like your skin condition decides whether a girl likes you or not. she'll like you for your personality, and your skin problems have nothing to do with that, you just happen to have them and im sure she wouldnt mind anyways(given shes not the superficial type). and besides, everyone has their own flaws, ykno? so dont sweat it, if you like her and you think maybe she likes you, ask her out!

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Girls don't care about what you look like, just the personality.

But guys on the other hand, all they want is penis decoration

False.

Anyway, speaking on behalf of good women everywhere, if you're a good guy, you'll get a shot. And of course if you're not we'll probably date you for years trying to make you a good guy and have an ugly breakup.

Now don't you feel better? ;)

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i appreciate the quick replies.

Of course you have your superficial princesses, but many girls are willing to overlook undesirable physical afflictions if you have a quality they are attracted to.

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But guys on the other hand, all they want is penis decoration

I don't even know what this means.

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As a girl, I feel a LOT of what you feel. I don't think that type of insecurity is exclusive to either sex. I'm not really sure what advice to offer because I'm working through these issues as well. I'm most afraid of falling for somebody who won't ever even be able to see me in a romantic light because of my skin, and just having the rest of my life being in a state of constant heartbreak thanks to that.

I don't think I'm helping the OP's case at all by admitting this, but I'm surprised to see so many people jumping in and talking about how guys are necessarily shallow while girls are "easy." I can assure you all that girls can be just as if not even more shallow than guys. Yes men are judged less harshly in society on the basis of their appearance, but they still are judged - and sometimes the difference between the two sexes in making such judgements is so marginal that even if we allow that girls are more easygoing about their partners' looks than guys (assuming heterosexual couples here, of course), a LOT of guys are still going to get rejected on the basis of their appearance.

From what I've seen, most people on this site are in their teens or twenties (with a few more in their thirties and then a couple in their forties and fifties). One of the biggest parts of being a twenty-something-year-old especially (at least according to Erik Erikson...) is a preoccupation with one's love life so it's really hard to just not think about the issue, but that's mostly what I'm doing right now. I won't lie, it's not easy - before I had acne I was a fairly popular girl. But I figure NOT thinking about how obviously unattractive (and therefore desexualized) I am right now beats obsessing over it 24/7, especially as it's not like I have a crush on anybody right now. I've never been the one to date for the sake of dating anyway, so this line of thinking is fairly consistent with my personality. I'm just going to lie low and wait for my acne to go away, which it WILL for the vast majority of people, before I even think about dating again.

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Hey man Im in the same boat. My family has a history of Rosacea and Seb derm on the males side. My last name is Reid that is a direct scottish translation of" having a red ruddy complexion" I got the worst of it acne cystic rosacea sb derm and folliculitus. Probably some of the oilyiest skin around.

I know how you feel. Even if I get my acne under control which is very difficult my face is still always bright red and burning. Im scared of the sun and have worked a graveyard shift the last 3 years. I'm only 22 but am starting to notice the veins from facial flushing so much. The worst part is BP is the ONLY thing over the counter and prescription that keeps this rash like acne I get from folliculitus away but the 10 years of use have wreaked havoc on my skins other conditions. My skin also scares very easy now and is a lot thinner then it used to be so its harder to contain :/ There is a women out there for you though, Ive had a wonderful girlfriend for 5 years that has seen me go through hell and back with my skin and is still with me. She hooked up with me when I was in a pretty bad place with my skin. Just keep trying stuff and dont give up, its all we really can do

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thanks for the story chris, its re-assuring that im not the only one experiencing this, and to add to it, that you've had a girlfriend so faithful to you despite your skin conditions

and thanks buritto for the in-depth girls point of view on the whole situation

But I figure NOT thinking about how obviously unattractive (and therefore desexualized) I am right now beats obsessing over it 24/7, especially as it's not like I have a crush on anybody right now. I've never been the one to date for the sake of dating anyway, so this line of thinking is fairly consistent with my personality. I'm just going to lie low and wait for my acne to go away, which it WILL for the vast majority of people, before I even think about dating again.

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yeah unfortunately i met a girl that i really do have a crush on, but she is so good looking and has flawless skin, it makes me really insecure and hard for me to think about asking her out, when im sure she gets attention from many other more attractive guys.. shes also really nice, and im afraid she would say yes to a date only out of pity.. my mindset is simply not in the right place, and i dont know how to fix it.. in my situation, you dont have many girls hitting on you, so i have to do all the work

sorry, ranting again, haha

I'm sorry to hear that. I wish I had some words of encouragement for you, but then I'd just be acting really disingenuous. You seem like a sweet guy though, so good luck with that.

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