Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
jakeshake

How Do I Accept That I'm Not Too Good Looking?

How do I accept the fact that I'm not that good looking? There was a time years ago I was kind of good looking. But whatever I had I think I might have lost. When I see myself, my nose is big and crooked, I have dark circles under my eyes, and my skin is red. I just don't think I'm a very attractive man. I kind of feel sorry for my wife. What do I do about this. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't. Everybody has qualities that make them attractive. Obviously your wife considers you attractive enough to marry. Focusing on things like having a big nose or dark eye circles is pointless. :) For the record, I find "character" noses much more attractive than straight, "perfect" noses! If we all looked the same, we'd get sick of looking at each other.

Plus there are bigger things in life than being super-attractive anyway... like being happy and appreciating the smaller things. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah you're right. I don't know what to make of it. I guess if you saw me in a video you might say I'm a normal looking person. But I see the physical flaws. I think what really is bothering me is the depressed dark energy that I feel I portray. That is REALLY bothering me. No wonder I could not get a job for years. I come across as sad and slow... like that donkey on winnie the pooh. I have to change!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey! Don't worry! Everyone is handsome/beautiful in their own way! And since your wife married you, she loves you for the way you are!

Everyone has things they don't practically like about themselves but we just gotta learn to love ourselves. I have a few things about myself that i don't like but at the end of the day this is who i am and I'm not going to change!

Stay strong and positive! ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah you're right. I don't know what to make of it. I guess if you saw me in a video you might say I'm a normal looking person. But I see the physical flaws. I think what really is bothering me is the depressed dark energy that I feel I portray. That is REALLY bothering me. No wonder I could not get a job for years. I come across as sad and slow... like that donkey on winnie the pooh. I have to change!!!

Everybody has things about themselves that they don't particularly like. :) Just a matter of working on your self-esteem; there's nothing physically wrong with you, you are just perceiving it that way. As long as you understand that, you will have a leg up on the inadequate feelings.

The fact that you acknowledge your moodiness is a leap in the right direction. :teehee: Rather than just continuing to feel sorry for yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Accepting it will only make you depressed and see yourself in a negative light...Just tell yourself what good features you have.

I think older people that are very very old, learn that beauty isn't everything..and they have hobbies like gardening, or playing bingo, that allow them to not focus on their unsightly appearance, but enjoy other parts of life and being human.

I feel like I'm not worth anything if I'm not beautiful but then, I realize, you can't really enjoy beauty in an of itself..you can only enjoy things apart from your physical body, and happyness comes at random moments and only lasts a short time. No one can be enjoying every second of life in complete satisfaction every second...if that was possible, then the satisfaction you acheive is worth less value and doesn't feel as great.

Theres other things that are enjoyable besides being attractive, like winning a game, or laughing with your friends/family. I wish I could take my own advice lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A person with a good style and confidence is always good looking. Just analize this:

- someone with acne, dressed like whatever and insecure

-someone with acne, nice clothes, good style, happy and secure

everything is in the personality..... Also, an investigation shows that 43% of people cares the most how he dresses or the style, then the body and then the face, and not the skin, the smile.

good luck in everything, no one borns ugly, its just up to oneself :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Get some paper right down all the negative things about yourself and work on them, better yourself my friend. After a while you won't even question your bad features, you will just be living your life in happiness.

Stay positive,

mike

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't. You just grow older and realize you wasted an entire life worrying how you measure up in a superficial world. It's actually quite funny to think about.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

omg i went through this hard, ive been dumped twice for not being good-looking, and one of those times was for my own brother! i went into depression over it, broke mirrors, bad attitude, the whole dramatic performance, because it was so hard to hear it!....and ill never get back the time i spent moping over it but eventually i realized it didnt change whats important in my life, my family and my great friends loved me just the same, and even my job didnt get any easier when i was moping, so i focused on those things and, much sooner than id even hoped, i became a positive person, and now when i look in the mirror it makes me smile.

A lot of people have the right idea on this thread; im told im a great dresser, and that helps my self esteem, i run obsessively and do light workouts so im healthy and thankful for that, i went through therapy for a while (for a few reasons) and i actually HAD a list of all the things i didnt like about myself, i just laugh now when i think about it cuz i realize how much of it was superficial, everyone is so much more than their skin and body, we all just forget whats really important every once in a while, and thats where places like this kick in to help:D

Edited by colostomus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel like this too, before acne I felt I was fairly good looking, but with acne I feel very ugly at times. I try to stay positive but its damn hard at times and I don't know how to stop thinking about it? The main thing I was hoping was that after my acne clears up I'd go back to looking the way i want to but I'm not sure I will and it gets to me :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a difference between being not-too-good-looking and actively ugly. If you have to get over being not-too-good-looking, then just remember that you're in the same boat as the vast majority of people - only a small percentage of lucky ducks out there get to be objectively very attractive.

If you're actively ugly, then I genuinely have no idea. I think a lot of people out there and particularly on a forum such as this one would want to deny the possibility of anybody being actually ugly - but denial (and even reinterpretation) of a phenomenon isn't actually going to make it go away.

I don't know. I've actually always seen my looks as sort of social currency. If you think you can get what you want out of life (including things like sexual attention and yes, self-esteem) with your current looks, then that's really all you need - you don't really have to be more attractive and I'd advise you to focus your energies elsewhere. From what I can tell from your posts, you at least seem to have a wife who is both loving and patient. You also apparently don't seem to be where you want in your career, but eh, your looks won't hold you back in that regard especially if you're a male. If it's self-esteem you want, then you have to start basing that someplace other than your apperance, especially if you know that trying to do so would be virtually impossible.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah you're right. I don't know what to make of it. I guess if you saw me in a video you might say I'm a normal looking person. But I see the physical flaws. I think what really is bothering me is the depressed dark energy that I feel I portray. That is REALLY bothering me. No wonder I could not get a job for years. I come across as sad and slow... like that donkey on winnie the pooh. I have to change!!!

attitude makes a huge difference, so of course you think you look depressed, cuz you are depressed, and you really shouldnt be. its not like your wifes complaining about your nose! stop focusing on the idea that you dont match up to everyone elses measures of perfection; its cliche, but its true that nobodys perfect. i keep telling myself that i dont care if people dont think im pretty, i still expect people to respect me and others(i never had a problem with that, but i have this irrational fear that people are talking about me behind my back), and it actually helps with my confidence a lot. or you can pretend youre the best version of yourself. fake it til you make it, right?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I kind of feel sorry for my wife" lol

u seem to have a great sense of humor, girls like that.

Thanks. My sense of humor has always been my strong point.. always! LOL!!! Thanks for reminding me! lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"I kind of feel sorry for my wife" lol

u seem to have a great sense of humor, girls like that.

I know that I'm counting on it! lol

Edited by colostomus

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes


×