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wishing2Bclear

I Can't Do This Again. I Just Can't.

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I'm so angry. I'm so angry at my skin. I can't handle this anymore. I'm sitting here crying over my skin, and then goin "shitt", I can't cry, my foundation will come off. How messed up is that?

It took me so friggin long to get clear. And it was hell getting there. Then finally, finally I was clear. I could finally look at mysefl in the mirror. Stop tilting computer screens so that they wouldn't catch my reflection.

But then I went off my pills, my minocyclin. AND NOW I'M BACK WHERE I FRIGGIN STARTED.

MY BACK, MY CHEST, MY FACE, ALL COVERED IN ACNE, ACNE, ACNE.

MY SCARS HAD ALL FINALLY FADED. I COULD WEAR TANK TOPS WITHOUT HAVING A HINT OF SELF CONCIOUSNESS. I WAS READY TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH NO MAKEUP ON FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.

And now im back where I started. I can't go through this again. I can't go back to the purging of a new regimen, I just can't. I can't go through months of hell again.

Why do my friends get to sit and look at me, with their perfect skin, in there size 0 jeans, and complain about their looks, when I have to sit here in my size four jeans, a face coated in foundation and still looking like shit?

I can't do this anymore. I want out. I want a new face. I want accutane. I don't care if it makes me sick, I want to be done.

And the worst part is, I'm only 13.

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You're wrong - in a sense, the best part is that you're only 13. If you've already been able to find a way to clear your skin, you know that it's possible and you can aim to do that again. Better that you learn how to do it at the age of 13 than take many years more to work it out. Don't go comparing yourself to others because we're all different and I can say for sure that everyone has something they're insecure about. Nobody is perfect. Don't do yourself down.

In terms of practical steps, maybe you could look into things such as your diet. Maybe there's something which causes the acne to come back. Sometimes, antibiotics can mask the real cause so it seems like it's gone but then of course it comes back once the antibiotics is out of your system. In a way, this is a good thing because it means you can learn more about what it is that your body is trying to tell you. Acne is essentially a sign that something isn't right on an internal level and it's your bodies way of telling you that you need to balance things out. But maybe while you look into things like diet and so on, you could go back on antibiotics to start to get things under control on a physical level. There's no reason why you'd automatically go through bad initial breakouts, doesn't always happen and it's only a temporary thing. Same for Accutane - if you were to try all other avenues and they don't work, that could be an option for you. Again, that doesn't have to be a horrible experience. Plenty of people who keep logs here get by on Accutane without major problems or really harsh side effects and it's a means to an end for them.

Whatever course of action you decide to take, please don't give up hope and don't give up trying. For every thing you try which doesn't quite fix the problem, it serves to bring you a step closer to finding the thing which does fix it once and for all. Add the fact that at 13, your body is bound to still be going through a lot of changes and that's going to contribute. In that respect, sometimes these things take time and patience, but you have the support and advice of these boards to help you through. You can do it. Stay strong! smile.png

Edited by PaulH85

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I'm 13 too! Its really hard at this age. I know it sucks, but you have to have hope.

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You're wrong - in a sense, the best part is that you're only 13.

Haha, that is the first thing that came to my mind too when i read this.

Totally agree with him.

Its better to learn to handle it now, then when you enter adulthood.

Hopefully by that time, you will have learnt how to conquer your breakouts and fight it.

As for the size 0.

Hun, its better to be curvy and feminine. Trust me wink.png

Edited by Saturine

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ur being too rough on yourself, you're still so young! this is the age to work on things that will really count in later life, like your confidence and the way you deal with rpoblems and people; dont let acne destroy your confidence or make you so self-conscious you avoid outdoors or your socail life. Everyone here who is even just a few years older than you can tell you how much we regret wasting time because we thought people were only looking at our acne. Just focus on things you like and people who love you, trust me they wouldnt care what you looked like; and we're alwasy here when u need us, whether you need to vent or if u have serious questions about treatments.

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in my opinion, your lucky your only 13. you are starting to figure out how to get rid of ur acne, some people, including me, don't know how, and im 18. i understand how your feeling, but at least its only acne. i know that might sound insensitive, but some people, like me, have other conditions to deal with on top of acne. if you figured out how to get clear once, you can do it again :) good luck

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I'm so angry. I'm so angry at my skin. I can't handle this anymore. I'm sitting here crying over my skin, and then goin "shitt", I can't cry, my foundation will come off. How messed up is that?

It took me so friggin long to get clear. And it was hell getting there. Then finally, finally I was clear. I could finally look at mysefl in the mirror. Stop tilting computer screens so that they wouldn't catch my reflection.

But then I went off my pills, my minocyclin. AND NOW I'M BACK WHERE I FRIGGIN STARTED.

MY BACK, MY CHEST, MY FACE, ALL COVERED IN ACNE, ACNE, ACNE.

MY SCARS HAD ALL FINALLY FADED. I COULD WEAR TANK TOPS WITHOUT HAVING A HINT OF SELF CONCIOUSNESS. I WAS READY TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH NO MAKEUP ON FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.

And now im back where I started. I can't go through this again. I can't go back to the purging of a new regimen, I just can't. I can't go through months of hell again.

Why do my friends get to sit and look at me, with their perfect skin, in there size 0 jeans, and complain about their looks, when I have to sit here in my size four jeans, a face coated in foundation and still looking like shit?

I can't do this anymore. I want out. I want a new face. I want accutane. I don't care if it makes me sick, I want to be done.

And the worst part is, I'm only 13.

Get allergy tested for Food. Have your Doctor order Soybean IgG, Milk IgG, Peanut IgG, Wheat IgG, Barley IgG, Rye IgG, Treenut IgG, & Seafood Panel (fish & shell) IgG. Ask the Lab for a copy of results or get them from you Doctor. Any tests that does not comeback 0 is your Allergy. If they all comeback 0 than you need a wider panel of foods tested.

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