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I need to talk to someone. Anyone. I'm not okay, and I'm probably am just really hormonal or something, but I'm so tired of this. My skin is the worst it's ever been =/ Ive tried everything, I'm just recently am starting accutane and birth control which is probably why I'm breaking out in the first place. I'm trying to stay positive because I know that this will clear me up, but it's just so hard and I'm breaking down now. I'm tired of not being able to eat what I want and enjoy little things. I'm tired of being scared of food and starving myself. I hate that I cant drink water whenever I want and that I have to wait two hours. I hate not being free and just being restricted by my acne. I dont like passing cars and looking in the mirror. I hate it =( its just so hard..... I hate that my whole family has the clearest skin and can eat what they want. Yet I'm resorted to restricting myself and feeling insecure. I wish I was free and normal again =( I'm just breaking down. I'm broken. I'm scared of the future and never knowing if this will get better. I'm tired of pushing myself and promising that it will get better but then get sad knowing it all failed. I had dreams of being a news broadcaster and now I'm lost. I don't know what to do with my future anymore because I have severe acne.... I honestly have SEVERE ACNE and it wont go away. I have nobody to talk to and nobody understands.... so I just wanted to vent to you guys here... If you read this thank you.... Ive been feeling really hurt for a while and I just needed to express myself....

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If you feel you are at rock bottom, take heart in that you can only go up from where you are, things can only improve. I am definitely no fan of Accutane, but I'll say through gritted teeth that does work, so give it time.

Please do not starve yourself. There are many safe foods you can eat, and you should never be hungry. Foods like Broccoli, Cauliflower, Spinach, asparagus, sprouts, cabbage, celery, lettuce, cucumber will never break you out. Lean meats won't either, and neither will any type of fish.

Fruit is a different issue, some are fine with it, I'm not. That's something to work on by yourself.

Not sure what you mean about having to wait to drink water? If you think you need it, just drink it.

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Sorry to hear that you're feeling down. Give yourself credit that you're attempting to take control of the situation. Taking Accutane is a positive step and it's something you are doing with a view to fixing your skin. Sure, maybe on Accutane, your skin has to get a bit worse before it starts to improve, but if you battle throught that, it will improve and it can get better. In the meantime, be kind to your skin, your mind and to yourself. You're not on your own so please don't ever feel like there's nobody at all to talk to or that nobody will ever understand. Stay strong and look after yourself. If ever you need someone to chat to/vent/a bit of support/whatever, you're more than welcome to send me a message, would be happy to listen. Take care. :)

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You know there's a news broadcaster or a journalist who has some acne scarring and she's up there in front of the camera too, you know? I remember when HD came around she actually got surgery/treatment for that (as she felt uncomfortable knowing the camera would capture more detail) which worsened her condition and then she sued the surgeon. I can't remember her name... eusa_think.gif I'll look it up.

On TV... It doesn't matter if you've got blemishes or "pimples" as through make-up (applied by genuine make-up artists) they can conceal a great deal. shrug.gif

*looks up newsreader*

Here she is! It's Kate Silverton! amused.gif

SNN2822KS_280_540077a.jpg

Just look at that smile. amused.gif She's got acne scars but you'd never say now would you? wink.png

Btw, here's a thread started by a professional make-up artist:

http://www.acne.org/...ble-for-advice/

I dunno, maybe you could ask her if your acne would be difficult to conceal properly for TV. Just a thought. sideways.gif

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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You are doing everything you can and that is a phenomenal thing. Do not get discouraged. I am in Grad school to become an LCSW and will also be starting Accutane in a couple of weeks. I turned 26 earlier this year and all of a sudden developed SEVERE acne as well. I know what its like to be in a profession where there is alot of face to face contact and of course I get insecure at times but I am a pretty resilient person and I really just dont care what people think lol....I hope you can develop an additude where you are not the problem and are instead experiencing a problem at this time in your life. I am also aware that Accutane makes people feel more depressed, remind yourself that it may be the medication affecting you. You will get through this!!! Smile, you are beautiful rolleyes.gif

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LCSW=Licensed clinical social worker. Just for those people who were wondering just like me. smile.png

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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You have to trust that the Accutane will help - it has very high clinical levels of success and yes, you may have to wait at least a half-year before you see some real results, but what's a half-year out of your entire life? Don't lose hope, don't despair, and whatever you do, don't fixate on yourself in the mirror the first month or two because it's going to get worse before it gets better. In fact, try your best to avoid mirrors altogether - they're probably your worst enemy (well, second worst, after yourself) right now. Try to both mentally and physically prepare yourself for what's coming up ahead so that you'll be ready for the very worst... and then hopefully be surprised when it's less scary than what you expected.

I have no idea why you're starving yourself and not drinking water until two hours later because neither of those things has anything to do with Accutane. If anything, Accutane pills won't work if you starve yourself because the pill is most effectively absorbed with a fatty meal and you need to stay as hydrated as possible (Accutane will make you very dry as a side effect). Moreover, starving yourself is going to fuck with your metabolism in the long run - just make sure you eat healthy if you feel the need to control your diet.

And yes, it is really, really hard when you're extremely limited in what you can eat but everybody around you is going on and on about the deliciousness of dish x or y. But it gets easier over time because your body will get used to eating healthier smile.png Just give it time. I realize it's difficult; I'm personally pissed off as hell that I have to give up an entire year of my life (at least) to acne because it sucks to be young but unable to explore all the awesomeness youth typically affords a person. But there are far worse things in life, and we can't really do anything for the time being but just wait and try to find hobbies that'll supplement our minds and souls or whatever instead.

Edited by hotburrito

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I need to talk to someone. Anyone. I'm not okay, and I'm probably am just really hormonal or something, but I'm so tired of this. My skin is the worst it's ever been =/ Ive tried everything, I'm just recently am starting accutane and birth control which is probably why I'm breaking out in the first place. I'm trying to stay positive because I know that this will clear me up, but it's just so hard and I'm breaking down now. I'm tired of not being able to eat what I want and enjoy little things. I'm tired of being scared of food and starving myself. I hate that I cant drink water whenever I want and that I have to wait two hours. I hate not being free and just being restricted by my acne. I dont like passing cars and looking in the mirror. I hate it =( its just so hard..... I hate that my whole family has the clearest skin and can eat what they want. Yet I'm resorted to restricting myself and feeling insecure. I wish I was free and normal again =( I'm just breaking down. I'm broken. I'm scared of the future and never knowing if this will get better. I'm tired of pushing myself and promising that it will get better but then get sad knowing it all failed. I had dreams of being a news broadcaster and now I'm lost. I don't know what to do with my future anymore because I have severe acne.... I honestly have SEVERE ACNE and it wont go away. I have nobody to talk to and nobody understands.... so I just wanted to vent to you guys here... If you read this thank you.... Ive been feeling really hurt for a while and I just needed to express myself....

I know that having acne is really hard, but try to see the good side. There are a lot people that have illness (like cancer) or that have lost people they love, or they are poor, and more. There are harder things. Acne should not stop you to follow your dreams or to be happy. I know we have to deal with a lot of things, but for example right now I'm eating chips while I'm writing this, I know, tomorrow I may have more pimples, but well, I want to eat chips and watch a movie, because that makes me happy. My whole family have clear skin, my bestfriends have flawless sking and they are beautiful, but well. Good for them. We have to deal with this, but keep positive. Think that soon your skin will improve, and if your skin is your flaw, try to improve everything else, so nodoby would judge because how you look. And remember that someone who judge you on how you look, is someone that is worthless. Come don't give up! and try to be happy!!! We should all try to be happy!

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Guest pokemonster

@op

i know so much how you feel, but hang on there, it should calm down with time, esp if you relief stress, so i think its no use to obsess over every little detail in your diet too, bcs it will only leave you stressed doubt.gif i just think be healthy as much as possible but dont freak out about cheats here and there either? also remember to never pick spots and maybe go low dose accutane?

also 2h before food is not needed imo, 30m-1,5h is fine and you can drink little cup of unsweetened hot tea during food to improve digestion too

lmfao @lapis lazuli

wtf are you talking about dude. op clearly said they have SEVERE ACNE and you are comparing it to some 100% clear + concealed + probably 1-2 scars at best and minor anyways + can afford wtv treatment they wish, person?? 0_o

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There are a lot people that have illness (like cancer) or that have lost people they love, or they are poor, and more. There are harder things. Acne should not stop you to follow your dreams or to be happy.

I know this is the old 'worse things happen at sea' idea here but it really is true. Acne won't last forever and is a mental challenge in that how you deal with it mentally is just as important as how you deal with it through medication etc. You have to stay strong and positive. Easier said than done? Absolutely, but you have to find ways of picking yourself up when you have a bad day or feel down about the whole situation because these days are going to happen - its how you cope with these days that is important. Doing something positive to take your mind off things is what I mainly do. For me, its music or exercise, I get a lot of enjoyment out of both and enjoy the rewards I gain from both also. For others, it could be anything, so long as it makes you forget about your acne for awhile and prevents you from sitting around to dwell on the rough time you are having.

Back to the quote, there are definitely worse things that happen to others that they have no control over. Sometimes looking at things from someones elses perspective makes you realize how lucky you are. I'll give you an example, the last time I was feeling down about my acne, I thought about a few things deeply and realized how lucky I am, despite acne. One of my best friends has multiple sclerosis which means he is wheelchair bound and cannot do the things we take for granted every single day, he gets attention from assistants in college which he hates and stares from random people at his chair, which he also hates, every single day, yet he can't do anything about it.

But does he let it get to him? Hell no, which is why he is one of the most upbeat and genuinely amazing people I have had the luck of meeting and being friends with. When I thought about this, I felt like an idiot, my problems are nothing compared to his. (I'm not saying you should be happy that other people are worse off than you either, but accept that your problems are far less than theirs)

Just my two cents, stay upbeat

Peace

Edited by MJRI94

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lmfao @lapis lazuli

wtf are you talking about dude. op clearly said they have SEVERE ACNE and you are comparing it to some 100% clear + concealed + probably 1-2 scars at best and minor anyways + can afford wtv treatment they wish, person?? 0_o

I agree with this in part, in that Kate Silverton's skin was never bad pre-surgery when she was on TV and nobody noticed any different either way. So it might be far from a direct comparison, but nobody actually said there was direct comparison.

What Lapis is saying - and this is the key thing - is that there are always options people can look at and advice they can seek. Betsy may well find some advice in the link Lapis posted to Lily's makeup topic. He's taken the time to look it up so fair play to him for that. What he's saying is that it's best not to give up. We should never let acne stop us from chasing our dreams, especially before we've given it our best shot. The only thing which really stops a person chasing dreams, achieving goals and being who they want to be is that person themselves.

:)

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I agree with this in part, in that Kate Silverton's skin was never bad pre-surgery when she was on TV and nobody noticed any different either way. So it might be far from a direct comparison, but nobody actually said there was direct comparison.

What Lapis is saying - and this is the key thing - is that there are always options people can look at and advice they can seek. Betsy may well find some advice in the link Lapis posted to Lily's makeup topic. He's taken the time to look it up so fair play to him for that. What he's saying is that it's best not to give up. We should never let acne stop us from chasing our dreams, especially before we've given it our best shot. The only thing which really stops a person chasing dreams, achieving goals and being who they want to be is that person themselves.

smile.png

Couldn't have said it better myself. =]

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Thank you so much to everyone that replied. I will save these messages and read them whenever I am down. I realize I have nobody to turn to and I have gotten to sad because of it. But then I remember I have my acne army, that knows exactly what I am battling through. So with our supplements, diets, lifestyles, BP, Accutane, Birth Control, we will somehow get through this..... I'm a sad defeated soul but as I type this with tears in my eyes, I am thankful for every one of you. I don't know what I would do without you guys so thank you, because things only go so far but I am always okay with my acne.org people behind me. Its hard but thank you.

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"Acne army". I like that! lol.gif

I hear you. I mean, it's never any fun being alone in stuff anyway but it's even harder when there's nobody there who can relate. Sometimes, it's not even about having someone who gets it specifically. Rather, there are times when it would just be nice to have someone yo give you a hug and tell you that you can get through it. Wish I could give you a big hug right now. smile.png

I've gone through my thirteen year battle alone. Perhaps my own fault to a point, given that there were friends who I pushed away, but eventually nobody wanted to stick around and my family have always made a point of telling me that I'm the only one who had bad skin. None of them relate and nobody offered support. They just didn't want to deal with the mood swings and stuff and couldn't begin to figure out why I was so bothered by it all.

That's why I was so glad to find the Org. I learned that I wasn't on my own, learned what to do, what not to do, and that there are lots of wonderful people out there who have or had problem skin just like me but they didn't let it hold them back in life. I think that takes bravery and courage and that those people are being rewarded for that bravery and courage with happy and fulfilled lives. Ultimately, that's what we all want to have. I know that's what I need to aim for now, no matter what my skin does, as I already let 13 of my 26 years go. It all comes down to being brave and I suspect that even just a little bit could go a long way.

Honestly, things can get better. I know all our situations differ and so do the varying degrees of our skin problems, but it's only a couple of weeks since I was sat here writing epic posts in this forum - also with tears in my eyes - because I'd made such a mess of my face with picking. Truthfully, I had to stop typing half way through one of them because I couldn't see the keyboard. Fast forward to this moment and I'm writing this with no active pimples and no marks on my face because I let the last lot of self-inflicted carnage heal and I've gone a week now without causing any new damage. My skin's responded in kind by clearing up and helping me start to break that destructive cycle once and for all.

Never forget, just as you say in your signature, this too shall pass. x

smile.png

Edited by PaulH85

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Yeah(: hearing things like that make me feel inspired and hopeful. Especially because I know whatyouve been through especially as a child through some of the posts I've read :( and seeing these words you type make me feel so much better. I'm glad it cleared up(: I completely understand what you mean as far as pushing people away. I have so many mood swings and my family hates it. I get in the worst mood if they bring up my acne to the point that i just walk out of the room and hide. It sucks but oh well.... Ive just been getting so many break downs lately it's not even funny =\ that finally i needed to post something and get help or express my feelings because I hAd nowhere to turn.

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you are not alone,staying at my room all day watching the clock turn looking if the wall moves my mom and friends asking to go out but had to pass,you know im only on my month 1 on accutane and with a low dose of 10 and i have severe like yours,not only does acne make you insecure including the people around you teasing you but you have to remember that acne isnt permanent and i believe accutane will heal you,i feel your pain i used to cry and im a guy punching the wall so hard my fist would bleed asking why of all people its me,i had to stop studying for a year,i had to close my social life,i missed all my friends i had thoughts of suicide back then(im not even on accutane that time) but now im on it i dont have a single thought of it because its healing me (hopefully),,,,so cheer up live the life to the fullest you know what now i drink i smoke i go outside and im not completely clear yet!,,all im saying is enjoy life,,,

maybe you need someone special to accompany you in your journey when i had severe breakouts before i had a girlfriend and shes the only one that cheers me up she doesnt care if my skin is crap.

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Yeah I get so angry and sad... Honestly those thoughts enter my head often.... I feel stuck... This is all I ever think about. If I even eat a cookie I feel so guilty. Its really hard. I wish I had someone to talk to about this... But everyone has great skin=\

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