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S0OverIt

Do Girls Suffer More With Acne Than Guys?

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I just wanted to see every ones opinion. I find it a bit harder to have acne as a girl because we tend to be very emotional and care about looks than guys and its harder to find some one to love you. Well at least in my experiences.

I am not a guy but I see guys with severe acne that have girl friends and they look really happy together.

Yet I am all alone. Never had a boyfriend.

Edited by starness
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I can definitly see where you're coming from. Since guys tend to judge girls more on their looks, it can be harder to feel as though you fit in or are attractive when you have acne. I know the feeling. I have had a few boyfriends but my acne is mild. I use makeup to hide my imperfections, but I know the whole confidence issue can still be there.

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I'm a guy and I'd say it's harder for a girl. As ambchick said we do judge girls more on looks than anything else, sad but true, it's how most of us are wired. That said, you've come to the right place because as justified as you are to feel sorry for yourself, it's much better in the long run to accept the world the way it is and take the necessary action to get what you want.

Another note: having a crystal clear face is not the only way to land a decent guy. I'd take a girl with acne who takes care of herself any day over one who is clear but doesn't give a shit about her diet / appearance. Personality plays into it of course and I don't just mean be nice to people. Be cute and fun and just love life... or at least act like you do. :)

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I think it's actually quite a complex subject and one which really interests me. I suppose it depends upon how you define "suffer".

In some respects, how much a person suffers with acne emotionally and psychologically can be down to them and how they choose to handle it. Or, it could come down to how capable they are of handling it.

From a physical point of view, I guess guys can probably get away with acne a bit more. I feel it is accepted more as a male thing, which is saying something, given that I don't feel I've ever received acceptance from people around me with regards to how acne changes my appearance. But still, the way society seems to expect women to improve and enhance their appearance puts them under pressure and acne could prove to be detrimental to living up to this standard created by society. I imagine that would be a hard thing to take and rise above.

In terms of how men and women cope with their emotions triggered by how they feel about their skin, I think it is more of a male approach to keep things bottled up and put their focus into finding practical solutions in the first instance without really tapping into those emotions.. It seems to me that putting focus on the emotional impact of things is more of a feminine trait. This is where the subject becomes really interesting to me because, personally, I am very emotional about my acne and my appearance and I do spend more time trying to work on my emotions and on learning how to express them. I do have a need to tap into my feelings in order to understand them and understand who I am. I don't really seem to have what I would call the masculine traits in terms of how I would go about approaching things.

Where attraction is concerned and how other people respond and view those with acne, I do think it comes down to the personalities those other people have. Again, that in itself is another complex subject because there are so many attributes which people could potentially find attractive. Whether your attraction is to men, women or perhaps both genders, there are so many little things which can shape your overall picture of someone you are attracted to.

I can confidently say without doubt that I could be physically attracted to a girl with acne and that it would not be a deciding factor for me at all. Granted, there's every chance that my own experience with acne has given me that sense of understanding and empathy which dictates that I would now look beyond it and other things would cancel it out, but I don't suppose the reasons for being understanding are especially relevant. It does always make me wonder though how I would have turned out had I never had acne, because I can't honestly say that I would show the same degree of understanding I do now.

Edited by PaulH85
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I do find that i don't really mind acne on guys, i once had a boyfriend with quite severe acne but he was so cute and seriously, girls were all over him :-p

And not that i mind acne on girls, i just always think smooth "perfect" skin is beautiful on girls, but on guys i find it to be the exact opposite.. I prefer kind of "rough" skin and i don't mind scarring at all.

So yeah, i do think it sucks more for us :P

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Well,acne can definitely ruin your self-esteem and social life. I agree! BUT, I've seen many girls with clear skin who also have never had a boyfriend in their entire life. I guess acne has nothing to do with this ( unless it's severe,cystic acne). This issue is very complicated, and I guess there is no answer to this question.

The bottom line is, that you can have a clear skin, fee better about urself,be confident and etc, but still don't have a bf.

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Ha. The only thought I've ever had on the matter was: "Damn it must suck to be a guy, atleast we can cover it up with makeup sometimes."

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I do find that i don't really mind acne on guys, i once had a boyfriend with quite severe acne but he was so cute and seriously, girls were all over him :-p

And not that i mind acne on girls, i just always think smooth "perfect" skin is beautiful on girls, but on guys i find it to be the exact opposite.. I prefer kind of "rough" skin and i don't mind scarring at all.

So yeah, i do think it sucks more for us tongue.png

yeah me too...I think certain scarring can actually make a man more rakish or something. Kind of like, he is seasoned. Nobody wants a seasoned girl they want a fresh ingenue or a sex kitten.

Aside from that Id say actual acne hurts everyone regardless of sex, it all depends on the severity and how well each person deals in his/her own way.

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Generally speaking, I'd say yes. I think anything related to looks/beauty will likely affect women more than men, since women are the ones with the more pressing social obligation to either a) appear beautiful or b) nearly kill themselves trying, though I think (sadly) men are beginning to feel such pressures more and more these days as well.

However, level of suffering is far more likely to vary with the individual - his or her emotional stability, expectations in life, coping mechanisms, severity of acne to begin with, and etc... I'd say gender is probably more of a red herring. Or at least that's my guess.

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I don't see anything wrong with me from the inside neither from the outside its just that ive had bad skin all my life to a etremley sever point. Not even make-up can cover it trust. :/ ive never actually worn makeup. Guys have approached me when it was moderate but i was self-concious to talk to them because I thought low of my self. But now at age eighteen its really severe and its hard to cope with it because while everyone is out enjoying themselfs im inside searching for the cure.

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Try putting on some good makup. Feeling that you put some effort into looking good will help you talk to guys. I used to wear makup all the time, it helps a lot. Acquiring good self-esteem with bad acne takes a lot of hard work; it doesn't just appear overnight.

Just look at it this way, your face most probably not gonna get much worse from makup, but you'll feel more confident.

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I'm gay so I guess my perspective is slightly irrelevant but I think girls tend to be more sensitive about their appearance and therefore when they have acne, it can really damage their confidence and we all know that confidence is a major factor in attraction. Of course, there are guys who will judge you completely based on looks, but they're not worth your time.

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I think females are definitely under more pressure to look good, but with guys, some feel it's too 'feminine' to care about their appearance; hence why alot of males would feel uncomfortable wearing makeup.

Edited by maimy
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I think that males and females feel the effects in different ways. As a guy there certainly have been times where I think it must be harder for a girl to have acne but then again guys are the ones who have to approach the girls and if acne has crippled all their confidence then they won't be able to make an approach, so they're mostly alone...at least that's my guess. And girls really don't approach guys...unless they're very attractive (no acne haha)

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Girls have more pressure to look good because its more IMPORTANT for females to be attractive in order to succeed in life/find a mate. Guys have it easy, all they need is money and an alpha male personality and they can get all the women they want.

I personally have been treated terribly from guys all my life and random people because of how i look. someone even told me directly to my face "Hahahaa you drew a picture of yourself as a pretty girl." Because I obviously know I am ugly and it doesnt bother me the slightest, right? People just think your okay with t he way you look and it doesn't matter.

I'm forsure getting plastic surgery. I even got a job at a strip club to pay for plastic surgery and am spending 40k+ on my appearance because of all the trauma I've suffered in my life. All I want in my life is to be pretty. I don't care about anything else. Yes, I got A's in school and could have a good job in the future but, how can I enjoy a good job if I'm ugly?? No matter how much money I make in my future it will be worthless if my physical body is ugly.

All guys say they want is a beautiful wife, so I'm practically killing myself for a guy to like me. They dont give a sh$% about your personality, my grandma has a great personality so why don't they marry her?

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^Okay, I wasn't going to reply to this at first, but this makes me so sad that I feel like I have to.

I won't deny/argue with you about that society treats attractiveness as an incredibly important quality for women, but beauty is definitely not everything - in fact, it's neither necessary nor sufficient for happiness. If you want an empirical example, just look at somebody like Eleanor Roosevelt: powerful, influential, first lady, generally beloved, and conventionally quite homely. While it's certainly true that it's very very difficult to succeed in this society as an unattractive woman, it's also not impossible. Being unattractive doesn't make a person unhappy, not being able to cope with said unattractiveness makes a person unhappy.

Also, guys don't always have it easy either - it's not always easy, for one, to get lots of money, and it's not easy to just put on an "alpha male" personality if one simply isn't wired that way to begin with either. Moreover even if a guy does have both of these qualities, neither guarantees him happiness either - he just looks that way on the surface from the outside, but I've known (and dated) enough rich douchebags to understand that a lot of them are as miserable/insecure as anybody else underneath.

I'm sorry to hear you've been treated terribly your entire life by so many people :( You must know some shitty folks, because not everybody is like that. Sometimes you just gotta let comments like those roll off your back because the people who are making them are just worth nothing themselves. I realize I'm probably pretty lucky this way, but kind of shockingly, not a single person has made a very nasty comment about my acne thus far. Some have made ignorant ones, and strangers on the street have looked at me oddly from time to time, but nobody has actually set out to be mean... which tells you that there are nice/sympathetic people out there too. Moreover, I definitely interact with more guys than girls on a regular basis, and all of them have just been really chill about the whole thing - they just treat me like they always did for the most part. It really depends on the guy: some will only care about your looks, yes, but most - usually the ones who think with something other than their nether regions - will give much more of a damn about how generally compatible you are with their lifestyle/habits/personality.

Yes, I got A's in school and could have a good job in the future but, how can I enjoy a good job if I'm ugly??
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^ wow, i cant believe they told you to put makeup on.

I wish i could deal with being ugly but everytime i look in the mirror i tell myself, "how can a guy love someone who looks like this? Or "I hope I don't scare anyone when I walk out my house this morning"

When i was 13 and had no acne, i was as conceided as hell, ithought i was perfect and pretty and better than everyone else, and now i am humble and feel less of a person. I feel unworthy. Everytime i go in a store i always think the clerks think im going to steal something because of the way i look.

I'm mostly upset because i can't attract the opposite sex..But the only reason im still trying to clear my skin is because i think i have potential, I'm 19, and have a great figure, and that keeps me trying to fix my skin.

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I don't think it was one of their best moments, but I can see why. Like I said, I work in a fairly high-end environment, and after my initial breakout my acne was seriously scary-looking... I actually took about a(n intermittent) month off work because of it. They also didn't realize at the beginning what was happening to me, but were much more understand once I explained: my supervisor sympathized and my boss asked if there was anything she could do to help, like change the ventilation or buy me some special soap or something. Sometimes you just gotta let things go, y'know?

I wish i could deal with being ugly but everytime i look in the mirror i tell myself, "how can a guy love someone who looks like this? Or "I hope I don't scare anyone when I walk out my house this morning"
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I think its more of an individual experience, and its hard to measure suffering. It seems girls will say they dont mind acne on a guy, and that guys are only interested in their appearance. And guys will say they dont mind acne on a girl, and dont solely judge by appearance. Then there is usually a consensus that women suffer more because of society pushing the image of beauty/perfection for women.

From a male perspective, my bad skin is constantly on my mind when I approach women because its the first thing they will see and I'm pushing out of my comfort zone to go talk to them knowing I'll be turned down more times than not. If someone approached me, hasn't happened, I would feel more relaxed because they've seen my skin but have decided to come over.

One thought that runs through my mind is if women put a lot emphasis on their appearance and critiquing their skin (even if they dont have acne), wouldn't they also intentionally or not be able to quickly identify imperfections in other people's skin.

Also as a male, I immediately judge by looks but its not on whether their skin is perfect or if their teeth are perfectly straight. Its more looking for the right combination of hair color, height, eyes, body type, posture, mannerisms, etc. that I am attracted to then trying to talk to them to gauge their personality/beliefs/vibe/etc.

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Girls have more pressure to look good because its more IMPORTANT for females to be attractive in order to succeed in life/find a mate. Guys have it easy, all they need is money and an alpha male personality and they can get all the women they want.

I personally have been treated terribly from guys all my life and random people because of how i look. someone even told me directly to my face "Hahahaa you drew a picture of yourself as a pretty girl." Because I obviously know I am ugly and it doesnt bother me the slightest, right? People just think your okay with t he way you look and it doesn't matter.

I'm forsure getting plastic surgery. I even got a job at a strip club to pay for plastic surgery and am spending 40k+ on my appearance because of all the trauma I've suffered in my life. All I want in my life is to be pretty. I don't care about anything else. Yes, I got A's in school and could have a good job in the future but, how can I enjoy a good job if I'm ugly?? No matter how much money I make in my future it will be worthless if my physical body is ugly.

All guys say they want is a beautiful wife, so I'm practically killing myself for a guy to like me. They dont give a sh$% about your personality, my grandma has a great personality so why don't they marry her?

I am not trying to be mean, but why you gotta be so shallow?

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The thing is, it all depends on what each guy sees as pretty. It's not as black and white as to say that every guy thinks the same way or that every guys looks at every girl the same. Besides, you're not ugly!

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I'm sure you're not that ugly in real, u just have no self-esteem. But if u keep judging pple by their looks, then you'll be eventually surrounded by superficial pple,u'll miss the right person by your mentaility, he might think that he is not good enough for you. And I totally agree with Paul, every guy has his own "beauty standarts". Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

P.S.Just for fun, compare urself with all women(girls) that you know, who are married. You'll be positively surprised! Most of them are not even attractive, but for their husbands they ARE.

Edited by amy91
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