Jump to content
Acne.org
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
XxGhoulxX

The Worst Week of My Life

Recommended Posts

I've had acne ever since I was 9 years old. That's right, NINE years old. It was pretty mild, compared to what I have now, but it was still noticable. I remember the instant that it dawned on me, when I was going into 5th grade the next year and I was at some sort of summer camp. I remember a few days after the first day that I was there, there was this "group" of kids that apparently knew each other and went to the same school. They were all guys. I was outside, and one of them said "Dude, are those pimples??!?!?" and pointed at my face. Instantly, the entire group burst out into laughter. I don't remember what happened after that, I think I cussed them out and flipped em off and left. Imagine being 9 years old, and having a group of "older" 10-11 year olds laughing at you because you have acne.

Later that day, I took a look in the mirror. What a piece of shit I saw. This is how the downward spiral that we'll call, "My Life" started.

That was one of the last times I remember doing anything with other kids. I went into middle school, and the daily routine was:

Go to School

Go Home and Do Homework

Play Video Games/Watch TV

I never really went out and did anything after school. I think I probably went out and did stuff a few times, but nothing really significant. All throughout middle school I was labled as the "freak with acne." Girls would say "ewww" whenever they mentioned my name, which made me feel like absolute shit. Mostly girls never really talked to me, so i didn't really care. What pissed me off was the guys would bitch about my acne constantly.

I never really fit in. Anywhere. I never really said a word to anybody, except to maybe a few true friends I had.

Then, I went into high school last year. That was absolute hell. All year, I did the same thing. I never went anywhere, never did anything after school, never really had fun. My acne got A LOT WORSE as time went on, and the few "true friends" I had, ditched me, except for a few. I ended up just hangin out with a group of 5 people at lunch, and that was about it.

So, here's my story about the worst week I've ever had, being a freshman in high school.

After school one day, I went to get some food. As I was waiting for the bus, I just sat down in there and started eating. I was talkin to this one guy, and I don't even remember what the conversation was about. Somewhere along the line, I made a joke about something, I dont remember what it was. I must have pissed him off, because he then called me a "shitface" and started making fun of my acne. I asked him "What the fuck do you mean by that?" and he went on and on about all my zits and was laughing and all this bullshit. I was ready to kill the fucker, but there was a bunch of people in there. Rather than start a big fight in the middle of a restaurant, I just left.

The next day, I wanted to kill him. I didn't care if I got suspended or expelled or whatever, he was going to pay. I waited outside the class I had with him, waiting for him to arrive. He never showed up. Apparently, ealier in the day in his 1st period, he pissed somebody else off. He ended up getting in a fight with another guy, and he broke his finger in such a way that the bone was snapped and sticking out of his skin, and he had to go to the hospital. Somebody did my dirty work for me.

So, the next day, I'm sitting in history class. The teacher has us "change seats" for some reason, and now I'm sitting by this girl I've never even spoken to before. The first thing out of that bitches mouth was "Damn kid, you got a lot of pimples!" in a VERY loud voice. Everybody turns around and stares at me. I can't think of anything to say to that, so I just say "uh... yeah..."

A few minutes later, she is looking at this picture of some other guy, and she's talking to some other girl. She says "This guy would be so hot if he didn't have all those pimples." So I tell her "You know what? It's not like its easy to get rid of. I've tried a whole shitload of stuff and nothing works" Her response to that is "Just wash your face!" I say, "I DO! Twice a day, Nothing works! Just shut up you stupid bitch!" and she shuts up and just says "Oh." The whole class was silent and watching us as this took place, I think we interrupted the teacher's lecture.

I've gotten used to hearing girls saying things like "ewww" when they talk about me, but I've never had one say that to my face. That, was the single worst insult I've ever heard in my life. I've had similar things from guys, and then I can just beat their ass. What the hell am I supposed to do when a girl says that? I know that's what everybody's thinking, but hell, just keep your god damn mouth shut.

So, the next day, I'm sitting in this class again. I hadn't said anything all day, and I'm writing stuff down. All of a sudden, that girl's eyes are RIGHT NEXT to my face, and I pull my head away and said "What the fuck are you doing!" She says something like "Looking at your pimples.... um... lots of people have them going all the way down their neck... you dont... thats good..."

I guess she was trying to make me feel better or something, but she sure as hell sucked balls at it. My hoodie was covering up my neck, so nobody could see that.

Later that SAME day, I go down to that restaurant I was at before to eat and wait for the bus. Three guys are in there, and their getting ready to leave. The smallest one says, "look at that kid, that kid has acne, I hate kids with acne." Even though one of the 3 guys in their "group" has mild acne too, I just stared at the guy that had acne as they left.

I wanted to kill them all.

The next day, I quit. I quit school. I just stopped going altogether. This happened back in april, and I just stopped going until school was over. My logic is that I was going to school pissed off everyday, and I hated being there. I also hated the fact that EVERYONE was bitching about my acne, so fuck it, I'm done trying. I ended up getting 4 F's and 2 D's on my last report card. And you know what? I don't care. I dont give a shit about grades, and I'd ditch school again if I had the chance.

I ended up moving to another city during the summer, so I'll never see any of those people again.

This year I enrolled in an alternative school where I can do all the stuff at home, so I don't have to deal with those assholes. I also got accutane, and I've been taking it for 3 months. My acne seems to have improved, and the new stuff is slowly starting to stop forming. (writing this will probably jinx it, I wouldn't be surprised.) It's not perfect yet, but I think it's better atleast. The only problem is the entire first layer of skin on my face is peeling off, and it looks like I got sunburned. But hell, it beats the zits.

I left the house to go to the post office a few weeks back, and this Oriental lady asked me if I had "plastic surgery" done to my face, because it was peeling. Gee... thanks, but no.

So now I spend my days waking up, doing homework, and playin games. I still don't do anything, as I now have 0 friends. I'm still the same loser I've always been, and that will probably never change. I plan on getting a job when the accutane's done in 3 months, or maybe sooner if my acne goes away before then.

The moral of the story: If people are pissing you off at school, say "fuck it" like I did and stop going. Don't keep putting yourself through hell and listening to other peoples bullshit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if u lived by me i would be ur friend...

like u , i dont have time for the foolz that dont know what there on about when they say things like... dont u wash ,, grrr

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those people are LOSERS. Don't give up your dreams and ambitions because of some intolerant isdiots. Excel in your work now and know that accutane will help you, you will be clear.

i once had a dumb girl who was supposed to be my friend sneer, "she used to be a model, what happened?" and my acne was not even bad! Plus some guy once said a long time ago, your face would be really clear, it looks like all you need is a few good facials. MORON. well accutane cleared me up (my worst acne happened due to a reversible hormonal condition) I've been pretty clear (knock on wood) for the past 6 years.

Succeed in life no matter what other people think. don't let morons define who you are.

when someone says something bad about your acne, tell 'em that youre on meds which will kick in soon and that they're stupid and inquire if they are on some sort of treatment plan for that.

If they're extra mean, tell them they're ugly too and should be grateful the universe spared their skin for now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That isn't a very good way to handle things in life. I really don't believe in quiting in anything. You really have to find something to do in your life that you love so that you can vent. Start a hobby, take martial arts, do anything. And yes, I used to play video games just like you because of my self-esteem issues with my Acne.

Back in high school I had low self-esteem. I dont know if it was caused by the Acne or just the way I was. I am a rather big guy, 6'2 200 lbs. I used to get picked on a lot by the other kids. I think it had to do with guys getting a kick out of being able to bully around such a big guy. In freshman year of high school I used to get picked on very badly by almost my whole English class. If you ever seen a movie about a kid getting picked on so badly that he shoots up the school, then that was what my life was like. Thank God I never did do anyhting crazy like that. There was this one kid who lived near me who picked on me the most. I had to sit on the bus with him everyday and hear him talk his shit with his other friends. He was really small, like 5'6 150 lbs. I could have easily kicked his ass, but for some reason I never did. Anyway, in the end I switched schools. My grades were terrible. I still to this day regret not sticked up for myself. That is why I started up in martial arts. To get my mind off of being picked on all the time. That is when I fell in love with the martial art of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I still take 2 classes a week to this day(about 4 years). Its a great way to realive stress.

If your interested in Jiu-Jitsu, just ask if you want any info.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

it seems like the community around you is very vocal. unlike most people on the boards, you seem to have had your fair share of insults or comments.

i know that it is very embarrassing and hurting to have a disease stigmatized by the public to be vocally broadcasted to everyone. we acne sufferers have a hard time coping with the disease without anyone's interference, but add those schmucks and asshats in we've never felt smaller.

something comforting i found was that people with acne tend to be more genuine and compassionate. in fact some of my good friends are acne sufferers and it is this common identity (not that it is something to be proud of) that allows us to relate better and seclude ourselves from those asshats.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Captain Chaos

Sorry to hear about high school, must be very difficult for you to go through that.

Personally I think it's a bad idea going to a school where you don't have to go in everyday, because you will literally never make any friends, eventually you'll find people who aren't superficial at high school, it just takes time....Most people at school are never really your 'true' friend anyway, I guess you're lucky in so far as you'll never be hurt by friends who aren't really your friend, the true ones will just come along first smile.gif Am I making sense?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is a sad story sad.gif . I read it till the end, without stopping once. I'm sooo sorry that all of that shit had to strike you. Acne is bad already, but if you strike bad people then it is even woarse. You got some courage though and I take my cap of for you. A lot of people define life as a bitch, but actually it's the people in life that makes it a bitch. I would've been your friend anyday. I would love kicking some ass with you on my side. All I can say is to keep up the good work and to cause some brain damage to the next guy that insults you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Man, was a serious amount of ignorant arses at ya school man. Like someone said, the best way to beat em is to ignore em, or, at least give em the drift that what they say don't do shiat to you. Telling ppl to fuck off is gonna enrage em more imo. I know it can be so fuckin tiresome to hear ppl diss you because of ure acne all the time but u should learn to chill and not take offence so much. After all, they're judging you by ure appearance and not by ure personality.

--jay

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Zitro

I can somehow relate to you, except that acne is not why I was picked on. If you show anger, they enjoy it. If your life gets affected negatively, they win. Solution : ignore them, or response with passive words or words that can hurt them (true words, that is).

Do not let them relinquish your interest in school, cause well ... it's pretty obvious how important it is!

Find new friendship : friends may be your cure for emotional pain.

I rarely got bullied by acne (even though last year my acne was severe), I am sorry for your situation, do not lose your self love and confidencse because of a bunch of heartless f***s.

If you want a natural way of eliminating acne, you might consider "comedome extraction". Just find someone professional, pay around 50 bucks for a visit, and after 10 visits, your acne will be less than a half (at least for me). Accutane is very dangerous and can exacerbate depression, and harm your skin and health, but is a quick effective treatment. Benzamyzin is an effective acne cream.

This is my first post here, I am Hernan Ortiz, and I am at last experiencing happiness and defeating acne. Every time a door closes, another one opens. Find it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

XxGhoulxX, reading your biography was like reliving my life. I totally empthasize with what you are going through. Ive dreaded school since elementary school and back then it wasnt even because of my acne. I was severely bullied as a kid on the new block.

But starting in my early teen years, my life became fun. I made many friends and actually had muscles I could show off. And then my acne took over my life. I stopped hanging out with my friends, going out, or even giving my parents hugs and kisses. To this day, I feel trepidation when people try to touch my face--even my parents.

On many occasions, I thought about ending my life, but that would prove to people how weak I was. Grab hold of something meaningful in your life and work from there. I wasted four years of life in high school because instead of exercising my brain, I thought about how miserable my life was--like that was gonna make it better! But now that I am in college, I see the importance of a well-rounded education. The people at my college aren't assholes, they are thoughtful human beings who see beyond people's physical shortcomings.

By the way, if you want to play chess on Yahoo, send me an IM: Bigj4you2000. I'm not a great chess player but I promise I'll do my best. If you need a help or someone to chat with I'm always online. And that goes for everyone else.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If something is bothering you that much, I completely condone stepping aside from it and finding a new way out. School was hell for you and instead of "quitting", you're finishing your courses at home. Hell, I had no problems at school with people but was completely sick of all the bullshit, so this year I'm finishing up my last year through correspondence! Fuck what everyone else has to say. If this is going to help you, then so be it. Sure it puts a hold on meeting new people for awhile, but I'd rather not meet new people then constantly meet new people who make me feel so much anger and rage. I applaud you for continuing with your education regardless of these horrible, ignorant people. Once your acne starts to clear a bit more, maybe you'll feel confident enough to get a new job or take a course to meet new people. Forget all these people who are saying "DON'T QUIT" It's not QUITTING, it's finding a new way to deal with the situation. If I went to school everyday, and my classmates would jab me with a knife and give me scars and bruises.. Would I keep going? Of course not. No one would continue going to a school if people literally stabbed them and tortured them. This is a different kind of abuse, this is emotional rather than physical. And both hurt just the same.

I'm a firm believer in finding what works for you. Right now I feel really empty and completely drained as well. I don't go to school, I'm awaiting my courses, my friends have dwindled down to practically nothing... each moving on to new and better things and leaving me in the dust, and I'm without a job. I have literally nothing going for me, except for clear skin (and of course a decent family and place to sleep). My point is that everyone goes through shit like this, and just do what makes you happy. Follow your instincts.. "Everything's okay in the end.. if it's not okay, it's not the end".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn, there sure are alot of assholes at your school. But anyways, i'll admit that I never have been through the pain as close as yours, but that doesn't mean I dont know what it feels like to be different. Sure, acne is a shitty disease, and sure, people may not like it around you. But just think about this, NOBODY ARE HAPPY WITH THEMSELVES. Ive spoke with SEVERAL people about this, and it just seems everybody is so insecure with themselves, whether it be acne, good looks, weight, or just appearence in general. Everybody has their flaws, but you cant let those bring you down. Keep strong man, and the best of luck with your schooling.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spare a thought for those of us who had to suffer in silence. Those who are suffering right now, going through school/college have the Internet and this forum to guide them. 8 years ago, I didn't have this kinda support.

So buck up, at least u have all our help! bb_idea.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I can somehow relate to you, except that acne is not why I was picked on. If you show anger, they enjoy it. If your life gets affected negatively, they win. Solution : ignore them, or response with passive words or words that can hurt them (true words, that is).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Zitro

I realized that acne is the non-mental "sickness" that teens makes fun of... People simply do not make fun of cancer, asthma, or anything like that.

I honestly can't see anthing funny about acne, that is like making fun of someone disabled, it's sickening!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Zitro

For people reading this post who mention "suicide", it may be rough if I say this, but suicide may be the most selfish act anyone can make on their lifes (imagine loved ones). Life sucks at certain moments, but instead of looking at the present, remember the times in the past you were happy and believe it may happen in the future

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Zitro

Is double posting (or in this case triple posting jaja) against the message board rules?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I realized that acne is the non-mental "sickness" that teens makes fun of... People simply do not make fun of cancer, asthma, or anything like that.

I honestly can't see anthing funny about acne, that is like making fun of someone disabled, it's sickening!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Damn dude those people at your school were pricks. I managed to make it all through high school without any negative comments, and I consider my acne to be on the worse side. I'm glad you are at least doing homeschool or whatever now. Hope your accutane clears you up man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Zitro
I realized that acne is the non-mental "sickness" that teens makes fun of... People simply do not make fun of cancer, asthma, or anything like that.

I honestly can't see anthing funny about acne, that is like making fun of someone disabled, it's sickening!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

surely the people who laugh at others with diseases have fallen ill at one time or another. hope they get hit hard by a nasty one

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just searched for my name today and found this post... I remember exactly how I felt when I first wrote this.

I've finshed my accutane course and I've been off of it for about 2 months now. The majority of acne is gone, I only seem to get a few very tiny bumps occasionally. (tiny whiteheads/blackheads) I'm not sure if those are zits or just ingrown hairs from shaving or something. Though I do seem to have quite a few tiny blackheads at the moment around my hairline... probably from my hair rubbing against it.

Only problems left are some decent scaring/red marks (mainly on forehead/neck.) Lots of circular indentations all over...

I haven't really cut my hair since last april, so it's pretty long. It seems to cover up my scars pretty good, but the downside is I look a lot younger and much more shady looking. I'm debating as to whether I should get it cut, and let all my scars show, or keep it long to cover up everything.

Skin's still not the best looking, but it's not as bad as it was. I haven't gotten any painful cystic-like things for a while now, and no terribly large whiteheads.

I wish I got accutane sooner, then I probably wouldn't have had to deal with so much shit. I'm only 15 at the moment, so I guess I probably couldn't get it any sooner than that...

My Advice:

Do you have acne like mine? GO TO THE FUCKING DOCTOR AND DEMAND ACCUTANE!

Only side effects I experienced were dry skin everywhere, some muscle soreness, etc. It wasn't too bad, and it did its job.

I tried to get the doctor to give me more of it that I could keep at home, incase I had a relapse. She wouldn't go for it.

If it ever comes back, I'll just go buy the stuff online or something.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes

×