Jump to content
Search In
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Recommended Posts

Well this might not be the most acne-related post you'll ever see but since I read the forum regularly I thought this was the perfect place to blow off some steam.

I have had acne of various levels for three years now(I'm eighteen now) but it has always been on the lighter side, and I've used both topical and oral treatments that worked for a limited time, I find that to focus on working out regularly, eating healthy and getting enough sleep(could do better on that) works best for me.

Well here is the problem, I now have no active acne and just a little bit of red marks on the jawline/chin area but it really doesn't bother me.

About two weeks ago I was at a party and I met a girl, very funny beautiful and all that, we talked a lot but I didn't have the guts to take it a step further. Fast forward to this Saturday when I met her again and we talked a lot and connected very well and we were into each other.

Again I did nothing more which is a annoying habit when I like girls, and is related to my acne. I start thinking if they won't like me because of it and withdraw. Well this time I was determined to not letting that happen but since I didn't have her number I added her on Facebook.

Then when she was online I said hello and got no reply.

No big deal I thought, she's not around the computer. So today I say hello again and again no response. This is exactly why I don't like Facebook for chatting to a person I like, you can't show any feelings.

Now thoughts about my acne is to blame for this, I should just wait until I'm completely clear before approaching girls, are creeping into my head and I'm quite depressed now because I really want to be with this girl.

This girl and I go to the same school and share lots of mutual friends so talking to her in person shouldn't be hard. That's what I'm going to do tomorrow, I'm tired of not being confident enough to get girls that like me because of acne-worries.

Maybe this girl will turn me down, maybe not, I think it's better to know for certain than to always be thinking "what if?", like I have done in the past when acne was always on my mind.

Thanks, palo1smile.png

Edited by palo1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Seems like you've answered this one yourself - it would be better to at least try and make your move because then you'll know where you stand.

I learned first hand that any confidence issues relating to acne don't go away when your acne does. Don't expect that to happen because it really won't. In theory, if you can find the strength to work on your confidence now even though you're unsure about your skin, it should become easier to find even more confidence as your skin improves. I always held back through my teens and blamed any insecurities or lack of confidence on my acne, but that was pretty much just an excuse I put in place in order to avoid having to face up to it. Then the longer you leave it, the more those insecurities build up and the scarier they seem, so it's always better to try and face those fears and power through them. Good luck! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah, its definitely better to at least know that you tried

She probably wasnt around the comp, if you talked and had a good time in person on two different occasions

just know you deserve better than to be treated a certain way based on your skin (which isnt even bad according to your description) so if she turns you down thats her problem. which probably wont happen anyways. be confident and it should work out fine

Good luck!!!! :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that's a big step to building self confidence, even if she rejects you. I was in the same spot last year, but acne made me severely depressed. Even when my acne cleared, I was still self-concious about my scars. The only way I was able to rebuild my confidence was by talking to more girls and realizing that there's more girls interested than you think. What surprised me was that our situations are very similar, I also just recently met a girl at a dance (three weeks ago) and my confidence was much higher than it was a year ago, despite my body beginning to reject the anti biotic I was put on for too long. I'm not too big on love at first sight, but damn this was close. Finding the courage to ask this girl to dance was one of the best decisions I'ver ever made because I found someone who wants to be with me for me, even though my acne has come back with vengeance! (4 days into Accutane)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Confidence and self-esteem problems are acne's consequences. I've never been so self-conscious before. That is why it slows me down, since our level of success in life is directly related to the level of our self-confidence or self-esteem. I try to work on both and get rid of all my silly insecurities. I realize that acne is not the worst thing that could happen with a human being, and I understand that I HAVE TO love and accept myself the way I am. But at the same time, I feel ridiculously better when I am clear. I become talktive and happy,more open to social life and etc. rolleyes.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

I realize that acne is not the worst thing that could happen with a human being, and I understand that I HAVE TO love and accept myself the way I am.

Once you realize this, it really is amazing how little other people care about it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Actually confidence is a big issue for everyone. I know people who have no problem with their skin, but they are not confident. There are millions of reasons that could kill your confidence and self-esteem. And the more I communicate to new people, the more I get convinced in that our level of confidence is REALLY important. Our success depends on our level of self-esteem.

I've never been emotionally strong enough to handle challenges or to stand up for myself when someone insults me! Acne made it worse, but I want to say that my confidence has always been a big issue, it comes from inside, idk from where, but it's not acne related. Maybe I got couple of new insecurities from being pimpled,but I was not like super confident before that. It's just type of personality I guess. So basically acne brings me double down, becoz of my personality.

I really want to change my character and become more confident and social. I have moments when I really need to say something back, but I don't, I just swallow stupid remarks and kind of"let" rude people bring me down. I'm just afraid of saying something back, I don't want it to turn to an argue or fight, but at the same time I don'twant to be insulted or humiliated.I don't like problems and confrontations, but sometimes it needs to be done I gues. I'ts just not my nature to be nasty or sarcastic, and I don't want to sink down to their level. But I am emotionally vulnerable person, too sensitive type, I take everything and everyone too seriously and personally.I am too nice and people feel like they can say mean things to me. And they notice that immediately.My gestures and eyes reflect those stupid insecurities. It's like they purposely want to cut me deep.

Is there any special techniques that you use in order to boost your confidence or just be yourself in social life? How to stop taking all of those insults and hurts?I've just had enough, I am sick of this,feels like a wimp. I want to speak my mind and not shaking while doing it.I hope it made sense.

Edited by amy91
Link to post
Share on other sites

Like everyone else said, you just need to see her in person again and just ask. There was a few years between when I first got acne to when I got the nerve to ask someone out again. I've never regret asking anyone out even if they've said no. Always better to know where you stand.

I'm curious to know how it goes for you.

Edited by mrtest
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Personalized Advice Quiz - All of Acne.org in just a few minutes