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Ella27

At Least I'm Not Depressed Anymore!

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Who missed me! Eh you probably have no idea how I am. But thats okay :) I haven't been on here for a while and boy did it change. I'm still adjusting.

just some cool things that happened to me so far in my sophomore year of HS:

Nothing.

Oh and I got my permit today. Some jerk honked at me while I was practicing in the neighborhood. Meanie. At least I was following the speed limit..... ok maybe I was going a bit slow. Caution!

Anyway, I found out that my main problem with my skin isn't necessarily the acne itself. Its the picking. I feel as if the severity of my face has been mostly in my mind. Now, I digress, my skin has been a lot worse before I was on doxy and adapalene. But I find I make tons of red marks on my face because I got so paranoid about every pore I see clogged with oil. It truly is a paranoia that I can't stand. Bad lighting makes it worse *shiver*. And while I have my days where my skin is truly bad I have others where I see clogged pores all around my chin and just pick away.

Now its true, I have a lot of small clogged pores all over my chin. There seems to be this fear in my mind that if I don't clean out my face, which is next to impossible, then I will have bad skin again. Anyone ever face this type of acne fear before? Its an interesting concept I just discovered.

Missed everyone!

Oh btw. My friend took a photo of me... sorta. Anyway its the only one where I don't look like a creature because I photo horribly. So yeah. Its one I take pride in.

post-148053-0-51692500-1318730863_thumb.

post-148053-0-51692500-1318730863_thumb.

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Aw *hugs* I'm sure you'll be able to feel better soon. I still have my moments where I don't want to leave the house because my face looks so bad. But just know that you should never be depressed about your acne since its not worth. Sooner or later you'll be depressed because you weren't living your life. :)

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That's a really nice picture. The slight blurring gives it a cool dream like effect.

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Picking will definately make it looks worse with the red marks and such. I think picking is the reason I have recurring cystic acne on my right cheek.

I got a cyst which I poped because it got infected and wouldn't go away for like a month, and I think that pushed the infection deep into my skin and since that time, like 9 months ago, I pretty consistently get 1-2 cysts a month and now my right cheek is litered with large pencil eraser sized red/purple marks.

Also I started picking little white heads that had potential to turn into cysts, and then they'd scab over, turn into a pus filled bump, id pop them again, and then they'd scab over, etc....situations like that where you fudge up what you picked at and then it heals badly....I have quite afew scars from doing that.

also I have picked my skin and I believe that spots pop up sometime after in the same spot because of the touching, bacteria spreading etc.

I am SOOOO mad at myself for picking from the get go, because my cystic acne probably wouldn't be here right now and i'd have alot less scars on my face...

I have been good for the last 2 weeks not picking at all, but the last 2 days I have picked my skin because I started using a new face wash and my skins all annoyed and I just get anxious and go nuts on my face.

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