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katrina782

What Excuses Do You Make To Get Out Of Social Events When You Have A Breakout? We've All Done It...

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Hey guys,

I think we've all established that acne causes us to do some pretty crazy things. I usually try to tell myself to just get over it - that it will pass - but sometimes I stay at home to sleep or have a pity party instead of going out and having fun because I am so ashamed of my face. My acne is weird - it comes and goes in extremes. I'll be very happy with my face and then it will break out and I'll be very depressed.

The 'funny' thing is, if I just suck it up and go out anyway, I usually have fun. But you probably understand when I say that I never stop thinking about it. Even when it's not bad, I am conscious of it. I leave early to go home and wash my face. I refuse to go out without makeup. Before I do anything, I think, what will this do to my face?? I love to swim, but it's out of the question. I love coffee, but I rarely drink it.

Last weekend, I was sleeping over at a friend's. I could not bring myself to wash the makeup off my face because I am in the midst of a particularly difficult bout of acne and the thought of her or her family seeing it made me cringe. I laid in the bed for hours, not sleeping, thinking of a way to go home early. I made an excuse and left at 6 in the morning to shower and sleep at home...before anyone could get up and see my face in the light.

I feel so selfish sometimes, when I get jealous of my friends' perfect skin or avoid going out with my mom or my friends even when we had had plans to. I can't explain why I do this to them either, because I have too much pride and because most of them wouldn't understand. I don't want to talk about it and I sometimes avoid looking people in the eyes when I'm usually very confident and outgoing (especially when I can live happily with my face).

Anyway, I recently had the worst breakout in awhile which prompted me to post on here.. you might actually understand how it is to feel sad and antisocial due to acne!

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I feel really guilty - save for showing up at two (very small) birthday dinners, I haven't really seen my friends for over a month now. I've sort of just vaguely alluded to the fact that I'm feeling "tired" lately (they know me well enough to know that that means "seriously depressed") and that I'll contact them when I'm ready. I'm very lucky because they haven't really pushed me to hang out with them either, save for the first few attempts - they just mostly text to check up on me every once in a while and see how I'm doing, which I appreciate. I guess the nutshell answer is: a vague approximation of the truth?

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It's rare that I have to make excuses now because in the end, people stopped calling. That's probably a worse situation to be in compared to having to make excuses. There would always be a small amount of truth in there somewhere, so that I wasn't just making up stories. I have made up stories in the past though and I can't say I'm especially proud of that. The funny things was, one or two become pretty elaborate and I had to keep them up for a while to get me through certain phases, almost to the point where I really believed it and in the end had to remind myself that they never actually happened. Should I find myself in a social circle again, I'll never make excuses again. The aim would be not to avoid situations and make the most of things, but if I did feel like I couldn't do it, I would try and be open about it. That way, there's always a chance that friends could offer support rather than causing myself to feel isolated.

Edited by PaulH85

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I used to make excuses too, but it doesn't solve anything. In fact I think it made things worse. All you end up doing is obsessing over your acne and feeling sorry for yourself, which makes your acne even worse because of all the worrying!!!

My excuses were often something along the lines of not feeling well... and I guess it wasn't a whole lie. I wasn't feeling well emotionally.

I think we should all be thankful that we have friends and family who actually DO want to chill with us - and thank you to those who are supportive and persistent at the same time. If they didn't want to chill with you, they didn't have to ask.

As for the makeup thing... I used to sleep with my makeup on when i slept over at my boyfriend's house.. and then reapply in the morning when i wake up before he does.

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The homework excuse was a great one when I was in school, still want to use it these days..but I'm not in school! I've used the headache excuse probably the most. I get chronic migraines and everyone knows it, so it works well. But like you, when I do force myself to go out..I'm usually glad I did in the end. Except I often find a way to go home early so I could wash my face. It seems so sad to verbalize that, none of my family or friends know that part of my life.

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I agree. I do this as little as possible because life is short and I'm normally very adventurous and fun-loving. Acne is the only thing that really gets me down to the point where I sometimes want to hide away.

But it's amazing what a little perspective can accomplish. If I tell myself to hold my head up, smile, and not give a sh*t, I usually end up being happy. The one thing I'm trying to stop doing is avoiding mirrors when I'm out. I am usually so proud of who I am, and I don't want a little acne to change that. It's not worth it.

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It's rare that I have to make excuses now because in the end, people stopped calling. That's probably a worse situation to be in compared to having to make excuses. There would always be a small amount of truth in there somewhere, so that I wasn't just making up stories. I have made up stories in the past though and I can't say I'm especially proud of that. The funny things was, one or two become pretty elaborate and I had to keep them up for a while to get me through certain phases, almost to the point where I really believed it and in the end had to remind myself that they never actually happened.

My situation exactly.

And yeah, the thing about excuses is that the more you make them, the less people try. Eventually they stop altogether. And at first you're fine with it because you don't have to lie anymore, but after a while it's really awful. So try not to let it get to that.

Although initially my making excuses not to go out with people had nothing to do with my skin because I've only had bad skin for the past 2 years but I've been avoiding/flaking/cancelling last minute on social situations since... um, my whole life.

Usually I just said I was sick with various things, but like Paul I also had a few really elaborate stories that actually took some work to keep up with, to the point that I almost felt like it was real (not in a delusional way, I just mean I got so used to making the excuses that I almost believed they were legitimate). And I've used the homework excuse a lot. Ballet class, work, etc. It was believable because I actually did do those things, but I imagine that either way it gets a little suspicious when you're apparently always busy.

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Yeah, I feel ya. I've skipped classes before because I just couldn't bare to go out in public; ran errands at off hours; waited until my housemates were asleep to go eat dinner; switched my workout routine to only running at night; minimized my interaction with others, etc. I feel certain that if something doesn't change soon I'll have no friends. At the least, katrina782, know that you're not alone in acting kind of crazy because of your acne.

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