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Riosha

Trying Accutane: A Fling, A Friendship Or A Love/hate-Relationship?

It's time for a theme song for this log:

Am I the only one who find this is worth listening to one more time...?

Come on, folks. We can do it! :)

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Day 20

Wow - it's almost been three weeks now. I don't know if I feel like it has passed fast or has gone by slowly... I definitely feel like I've been sleeping my way though it, though. I still do.

Today I was soooooo tired at work that I couldn't concentrate at all! It was horrible!

I cannot stay on Accutane if this is the price. I have to be awake when working! Has any of you experienced that you become less tired later on during the treatment period?? Please answer, Accu veterans! :)

I am too tired, really. It makes me want to go off them.

So...I only did 20mg today because of that.

I'm still breaking out. Dry skin, though. But my jaw is...well, like it has been for a while. Sore, red and...filled with pus, yukk!

Also...I feel like I'm retaining water - or (which is worse) gaining weight! I am sooo hungry all the time... I feel like I'm going through a constant PMS...

Have any of you girl Accu-buddies tried that...?

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Day 20

Wow - it's almost been three weeks now. I don't know if I feel like it has passed fast or has gone by slowly... I definitely feel like I've been sleeping my way though it, though. I still do.

Today I was soooooo tired at work that I couldn't concentrate at all! It was horrible!

I cannot stay on Accutane if this is the price. I have to be awake when working! Has any of you experienced that you become less tired later on during the treatment period?? Please answer, Accu veterans! smile.png

I am too tired, really. It makes me want to go off them.

So...I only did 20mg today because of that.

I'm still breaking out. Dry skin, though. But my jaw is...well, like it has been for a while. Sore, red and...filled with pus, yukk!

Also...I feel like I'm retaining water - or (which is worse) gaining weight! I am sooo hungry all the time... I feel like I'm going through a constant PMS...

Have any of you girl Accu-buddies tried that...?

Riosha i am going through similar issues and i find that taking my pill at night helps tremendously! I have had lots of problems sleeping so it helps me to fall and stay asleep. I still feel lethargic though so i try to exercise, move around, anything to keep active. I think your body will get used to it over time. In the meantime, try to limit simple high carb foods which can spike your blood sugar quickly and hence, make you tired as a dog. i feel the same way about claravis (not wanting to finish treatment) and i go back and forth with days where i want to quit and days that i want to continue. Do what feels right for your body and don't ignore signs of side effects. Your face is doing exactly what it is supposed to do so keep in mind that you are on the road to results. Keep your spirits up hun

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Aww, thanks once again, sweet Sascha. I'm so happy to find your many replies here. It keeps me going smile.png

It's day 21.

Yes, folks - I am three weeks in now!!! And my skin is dry and flaking, flaking, FLAKING all frikkin over!

I consulted my derm today and she suprised me really!

When I told her about my dizziness and the blurry vision on my one eye after having doubled my dose, she was like..."oh, well - thinking about it 40mg is actually the dose for someone weighing 60 lbs. more than you, so...yeah. Maybe it's too much for you"

So WHY did I need to up it at first and go through all of this??!!

We decided to keep me at 20-30mg for the rest of my course. Which is fine with me. Though it might take me longer then... But I can't handle being so tired. Or going blind.

Oh - yeah, and then she was like..."feeling tired wouldn't be caused by the pills. They don't make you tired"

Well, something tells me she's wrong here. Hasn't she ever given the pills to anybody else...? I'm surprised by how little she seems to know or care to know about.

Anyways - I am peeling so badly that huge flakes of skin come falling off my face all day and it looks ridiculous!!!!!

It's disgusting. I hate looking like this!

I went to bed last night and although I was tired I couldn't sleep until 5 this morning and I had to get up at 8.30.

So I was sooo tired again today and tonight I'm feeling dizzy, stressed out and extremely melancholic about my recent break up. When does it pass?

I've called my job and told them I'm ill for tomorrow... I know it's wrong but I can't handle going there. I'm usually never sick, but I just can't handle it...

When will this get any better...???

Edited by Riosha

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Riosha, sorry you're going through such a tough time. Is your moisturizer not helping your dry and flaky skin? My derm said to just keep applying moisturizer as many times as necessary to keep the dryness down. For me I'm only flaky around my zits that are drying up and healing. Are you just flaky all over or just around your problem areas?

Accutane definitely makes you more tired and I think it gets better in month two when your body has become more accustomed to the medicine.

As for your ex, I don't know what you're going through but I'm sure it hurts and it will take some time to get used to being single again. It's nice to have Accutane to worry about though so I would just focus on that only and ignore everything else. Before you know it your skin will be clear and your heart will be healed.

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Brownbag - thank you so much for the support!

And helpful advises. It means a lot!

Well yeah - I am only flaking around my problem areas, but it's a lot. It's like...Skin keeps dying and falling off in dead and quite big flakes that just suddenly appear.

And it seems like certain spots in my face can keep on producing them over and over and over again - just to reveal sore, red and inflamed skin underneath that hurts.

I'm applying moisturizer as many times a day as possible, but I have very long days at work when I have to cover things up with make up and can't apply anything.

I know make up is bad bad bad, but I have to use it in order to leave my house and not just feel like staying at home... I guess you know what it's like. Most girls here do, I assume crazy.gif

I have no idea why my derm denies that Accutane should make you tired. I seriously have nooo idea why. I'm quite sure it does, though. I hope I'll get more used to the drug and feel better eventually :)

Regarding the ex...yeah, well... He meant a lot to me really and I was with him for quite a while, but out of fear of losing him I never had the guts to show myself without make up (like at night) or reveal how much this bugged me. So although I really, really, really miss him it has been a relief somehow being able to relax and for instance wash my face in the evening... It might sound stupid, but it is :) I just miss him, because I love him still.

Thank you once again so much, Brownbag :)

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Aww, thanks once again, sweet Sascha. I'm so happy to find your many replies here. It keeps me going smile.png

It's day 21.

Yes, folks - I am three weeks in now!!! And my skin is dry and flaking, flaking, FLAKING all frikkin over!

I consulted my derm today and she suprised me really!

When I told her about my dizziness and the blurry vision on my one eye after having doubled my dose, she was like..."oh, well - thinking about it 40mg is actually the dose for someone weighing 60 lbs. more than you, so...yeah. Maybe it's too much for you"

So WHY did I need to up it at first and go through all of this??!!

We decided to keep me at 20-30mg for the rest of my course. Which is fine with me. Though it might take me longer then... But I can't handle being so tired. Or going blind.

Oh - yeah, and then she was like..."feeling tired wouldn't be caused by the pills. They don't make you tired"

Well, something tells me she's wrong here. Hasn't she ever given the pills to anybody else...? I'm surprised by how little she seems to know or care to know about.

Anyways - I am peeling so badly that huge flakes of skin come falling off my face all day and it looks ridiculous!!!!!

It's disgusting. I hate looking like this!

I went to bed last night and although I was tired I couldn't sleep until 5 this morning and I had to get up at 8.30.

So I was sooo tired again today and tonight I'm feeling dizzy, stressed out and extremely melancholic about my recent break up. When does it pass?

I've called my job and told them I'm ill for tomorrow... I know it's wrong but I can't handle going there. I'm usually never sick, but I just can't handle it...

When will this get any better...???

Riosha, sweetheart, you will make it through this - i promisehifive.gif As for your derm, don't take what she says at face value but instead, do your research on the internet, speak to other people, read articles to find out what is normal and what isn't. The arroganc eof some of these doctors really surprises me sometimes. Cetaphil moisturizing cream works wonders so try it! The peeling will ease up soon so just hang with it.

As for the ex, be strong. You are a beautiful person inside and out and you deserve someone who can make you feel that way. We're all here for you

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Brownbag - thank you so much for the support!

And helpful advises. It means a lot!

Well yeah - I am only flaking around my problem areas, but it's a lot. It's like...Skin keeps dying and falling off in dead and quite big flakes that just suddenly appear.

And it seems like certain spots in my face can keep on producing them over and over and over again - just to reveal sore, red and inflamed skin underneath that hurts.

I'm applying moisturizer as many times a day as possible, but I have very long days at work when I have to cover things up with make up and can't apply anything.

I know make up is bad bad bad, but I have to use it in order to leave my house and not just feel like staying at home... I guess you know what it's like. Most girls here do, I assume crazy.gif

I have no idea why my derm denies that Accutane should make you tired. I seriously have nooo idea why. I'm quite sure it does, though. I hope I'll get more used to the drug and feel better eventually smile.png

Regarding the ex...yeah, well... He meant a lot to me really and I was with him for quite a while, but out of fear of losing him I never had the guts to show myself without make up (like at night) or reveal how much this bugged me. So although I really, really, really miss him it has been a relief somehow being able to relax and for instance wash my face in the evening... It might sound stupid, but it is smile.png I just miss him, because I love him still.

Thank you once again so much, Brownbag smile.png

We all have our insecurities and I used to be like that too about never letting anyone see me with makeup. I would go to bed with makeup on whenever I slept over at my bf's or friend's house then wake up in the morning to put on more powder just to make sure I look presentable. It was so bad for my skin and made me break out like crazy. Eventually I just didn't care anymore. My current bf has seen me at my worst where I wasn't able to kiss him because of all the painful cysts on my face. Despite it all, he still calls me beautiful everyday and really understood all the pain I was going through with my acne. Life is too short to settle. You need a guy who makes you feel beautiful no matter what. =)

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Sascha and Brownbag - you are the sweetest!

Thank you so much. I know I've said this before but this support means so much to me. I couldn't do it without this...

I've skipped updating in here for a couple of days as I've been extremely busy at work - which gets me to day 24. Already!

Skin is still dry as...&%#!! But I'm dealing with it... I saw my derm today and my blood samples were fine.

She asked me a lot of questions regarding my skin, vision, mood etc... She said I should keep on applying lots and lots of moisturizer and that the dryness will decrease in a couple of months once I'm used to the drug.

We decided to keep me at 30mg for now, which is fine with me...

She asked me about my mood and I said that well...yeah, so I had skipped a day at work, because I felt like sh*t. Like I wasn't worth anything at all.

She looked like that was worrying her, but then I explained to her that if things got seriously bad I'd tell her.

I don't see that I'm on my way to an actualy depression right now. I just am like this. I think too much about stuff and I'm used to having an existential crisis.

I've been thinking about my ex a lot lately - but girls - you're right. I do deserve someone who will appreciate me for who I am. And he didn't.

I've been thinking about that fact that he - more than anybody else I know - enjoys judging people and expressing his opinions on how people should be. Like they aren't good enough if they're not like him and don't share his taste for music, arts, shopping habits etc. He only goes for luxury - and I guess I wasn't. But then again - is anyone really? There are still apparently guys who are interested in me and finds me a nice and pretty person...so maybe I'm not the one who's gone wrong here. I have to look at this like that.

Once my skin clears up I'll have one less concern! :)

I'm off to a small trip for ten days from tomorrow, so I don't know how much I'll be updating...

But THANK YOU, GIRLS :) You are SWEET!

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Good trip to you, remember to moisturise alot/sunscreen if you're going somewhere warm and sunny :) Have fun!

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Thank you! It won't be warm and sunny - and it's work, but hey... I'm looking forward to getting out of this place for a while! It's needed :)

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Ok, people - I'm back!

It's day 41 now and I wish I wasn't back really... I'm totally depressed.

It was good getting away for a while and get my thoughts on other things. My face skin was still bad when I went away, but it has definitely improved since! It's in no way perfect and the scars are still horrific, but yeah - it's better, no doubt.

I seem to be getting a LOT more acne on my chest now, though.

And ouch! - my body is sooo filled with small wounds and bruises everywhere. I get blisters on my feet when I go running and they hurt so much I can't sleep...

I feel so ugly underneath my clothes - plus I seem to have gained quite a lot of weight - I don't know if it's water or if it's because I've been sooo tired lately I just don't exercise...and I eat disgusting stuff because I feel sorry for myself.

I miss my ex-boyfriend, but I wouldn't want him back...as he doesn't want me. Nobody would right now. And I wouldn't want anyone to experience me like this. I just don't feel like existing these days... Working too much, too. What to do, what to do... Sighs...

Sorry about this update, guys. I didn't know what else to post...

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Hey Riosha, sorry to hear you're having such a hard time :( Those wounds and bruises, where are they coming from? :o

Hope you're hanging in there, accutane can possibly exaggerate negative feelings, so try to keep that in mind.

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Hey Riosha, sorry to hear you're having such a hard time sad.png Those wounds and bruises, where are they coming from? gasp.gif

Hope you're hanging in there, accutane can possibly exaggerate negative feelings, so try to keep that in mind.

Aw, thanks dreamer... :)

I seem to bruise and develop wounds much easier while on Accutane. I guess it's because it slows down the healing process, so things just don't heal as well and as quickly as they would if I didn't eat the pills. I'm blistering much easier as well. My feet are sooo sore from the short work out I finally got myself to do the other day. So now I can't really walk... No more working out for me again right now I guess.

Yeah, my derm told me that I should consult with her if I felt the least depressed. As you can tell I do feel extremely depressed, but I have no idea if it might be different if I wasn't on Accutane. I mean...anyone could become depressed by first getting dumped and then working 65 a week, right? ;-)

I will inform her if my emotional rollercoaster continues like this, though. I'm just worried she'll make me quit the course entirely...

Thanks again :) it's sweet of you.

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same boat as you im still having acne on my back and chest i started the same day and month as you what a coincidence,im only having 10mg a day my face is dry and my face is improving good luck

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same boat as you im still having acne on my back and chest i started the same day and month as you what a coincidence,im only having 10mg a day my face is dry and my face is improving good luck

Yeah, that's a coincidence!

Would you keep me updated on your process...??

That would be nice and we should be going through about the same happy moments ;-)

My chest is bad, but I'm hoping for it to improve soon!!

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Day 43 (yesterday was actually one day behind huh.png )

I am seriously breaking out on my chest big time. I've seldomly had anything like this before! It's bad AND it is weird, too...

At the same time my chin and forehead seem to be going in the wrooooong direction!eusa_liar.gifNOT supposed to happen!!!

So why IS this actually happening...? I have no idea.

I am on frikkin day 43 and I'm not supposed to have an IB now...or am I?

Ooooh. So confused.

Sometimes I just really feel like dumping this whole idea about going through this for so long.

Edited by Riosha

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yes dude i will keep you updated everyday i have a buddy here and i keep myself updated to his log too he started at october too,anyways my face is dry and i dont have those large acne cyst (today) i hope it will completely be away and dude i have those problems with acne and the marks it leaves so pretty much my face looks fcked up even though there arent much acne,

dont worry dude im on the same term with you and i still have acne growing,my derm talked to me about the treatment after accutane that i take maintance like once every week because im so oily and this is the first time i ever experienced not wiping my face the whole day with handkerchief,,,cheer up im down too but i realized you have to enjoy life onces in a while,youll never know when its your time,look at me i smoke i drink i enjoy life with friends anyways lol dont imitate me on that smoke and drink part

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yes dude i will keep you updated everyday i have a buddy here and i keep myself updated to his log too he started at october too,anyways my face is dry and i dont have those large acne cyst (today) i hope it will completely be away and dude i have those problems with acne and the marks it leaves so pretty much my face looks fcked up even though there arent much acne,

dont worry dude im on the same term with you and i still have acne growing,my derm talked to me about the treatment after accutane that i take maintance like once every week because im so oily and this is the first time i ever experienced not wiping my face the whole day with handkerchief,,,cheer up im down too but i realized you have to enjoy life onces in a while,youll never know when its your time,look at me i smoke i drink i enjoy life with friends anyways lol dont imitate me on that smoke and drink part

Thank you so much! It's good to have somebody following who's going through the same sh*t... :/

And hey...

...dont imitate me on that smoke and drink part

...tooooo late. Without that I couldn't go through this at all shifty.gif

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haha lol,,and i did my research too you know drinking and smoking doesnt affect acne so go on go haha you know another thing that we have a coincidence with?after your next post we'll have the same number of post 51 haha

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haha lol,,and i did my research too you know drinking and smoking doesnt affect acne so go on go haha you know another thing that we have a coincidence with?after your next post we'll have the same number of post 51 haha

That is funny actually.

Hopefully we'll also share the experience of becoming acne free in...well, what feels like just about a life time from now, but hey. We've already lived with it for so long, so waiting 6 months should be nothing...shifty.gif

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yes after 6 months though i think ill still be on accutane.my derm talked to me about maintenance like once a week i have to take the pill so my oily skin wont come back,have your derm discussed this to you?

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I had a breakout around the same time as you. I'm about 2 weeks ahead of you, and things are calming down. I haven't had a single new pimple in several days. Just wait til the acne goes away...then you get to figure out how to deal with all the red marks!

I hear you on the depression issue...It sounds like a lot of this emotional stuff would be going on even without the accutane. But, I also know that taking accutane will help you feel better about yourself in the end. Waking up with no new pimples would cheer any of us up!

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yes after 6 months though i think ill still be on accutane.my derm talked to me about maintenance like once a week i have to take the pill so my oily skin wont come back,have your derm discussed this to you?

I think I'll be on Accutane during seven months in total... Well, unless I don't get the results I'm expecting from this drug... In that case I might discuss the maintenance idea with my derm, but somehow I don't think it's her style... She told me that she for instance usually refuses to give second courses to patient, hmm...

I had a breakout around the same time as you. I'm about 2 weeks ahead of you, and things are calming down. I haven't had a single new pimple in several days. Just wait til the acne goes away...then you get to figure out how to deal with all the red marks!

I hear you on the depression issue...It sounds like a lot of this emotional stuff would be going on even without the accutane. But, I also know that taking accutane will help you feel better about yourself in the end. Waking up with no new pimples would cheer any of us up!

Thank you and yeah, you're right; there have been a lot of pretty cr*ppy things in my life lately which would probably have messed up my moods - Accutane or not. So I'm not gonna blame everything on that drug although I do feel more like being anti-social after having started it...

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