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Hey guys!

I'm not sure how many people will actually read this log but after reading many different blogs on Acne.org, I figured I'd start one of my own. I probably won't be able to update daily since I'm in college but I will do my best.

So I've had acne for 10 years now (started during puberty at 11 and I'm now 21) and I've honestly tried every single method out there. From topical gels, Proactiv, antibiotics, facials, micro-dermabrasions, lasers, and needle extractions...nothing seemed to get rid of the acne. Acne just keep coming back and full forced. For 10 years I've been so self-conscious and loathsome of my face. It took a huge toll on my confidence and I absolutely hated looking at my face in the mirror when I was in public. I just never felt good about myself. I wasn't extremely depressed or anything, but if you have had acne for half of your life and were unable to find a solution for it, then you know exactly how I feel.

But for the past 2-3 years, the acne on my forehead had subsided and I didn't get as much on there. However, I really wanted it to be gone. My mother always criticizes me for my skin and mentions it... which sucks. Having your own mother criticize you for that is much worse than the public because it hurts so much more. So going into the summer of my 4th of college, my mom tells me that we'll be trying a new dermatologist and hopefully we will find a solution. I was encouraged and feeling hopeful that something will help. I had tried well over a handful of dermatologists over the years so I was also skeptical.

The new dermatologist saw my skin and asked me what kinds of medications and solutions I've tried. After naming them all to her, she decided that I was a good candidate for Accutane. She had also been on Accutane during her younger years and said she felt it was worth it.

Fast forward a month later. I had submitted my blood test and did the iPledge quiz. I obtained my first prescription. I was going to be on 40mg/day for 4 months. I was really scared to begin it because of all of the things I've heard and read about it. I wasn't sure if I was ready for it but I figured, okay if it does get to be a problem (the side effects) then I will absolutely stop.

For the first month, I definitely had dry lips, which was awful. I had to constantly apply chapstick and it was so uncomfortable. Then I had extremely dry skin on my face. I had to keep moisturizing and whenever I did, for some reason it would burn... I'm not sure if that's a normal feeling. Then came the rashes on my hands and arms. I had read about people getting dermatitis and eczema during their courses of Accutane, but wow was it bad. But through it all, I kept reminding myself that my skin did look better and a lot less oily so maybe it was a good sign.

I'm into my 2nd box (2nd month now, about 12 days in)...and my left eyelid is COMPLETELY swollen. It hurts to blink and it's just so uncomfortable. I became very worried and contacted my doctor who said that it had also happened to her when she was on Accutane. I mean I was a little more assured since it wasn't a completely uncommon side effect. But it's getting me to think if this is really worth it. I can deal with the rashes that go away (I was prescribed an ointment) and chapped lips...but the swollen eyelids? I can't do that. My doctor said to go off of the Accutane for about a week and then see what happens. It's making me worried. Now I'm even more self-conscious about myself. Acne is clearing but now a swollen eyelid? It's really bad, too.

I just hope it goes away as I'm now reconsidering continuing this for the next 2 more months...

Any positive thoughts are encouraged and welcomed. I hate facing this alone...

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Hi Kristina! I'm sorry about your eyelid, that's scary, I really hope it goes away.

Keep us updated whether you start the treatment again! I'm a few days behind you so I'll deff be following your log. I can relate with the mom thing, my mom points my bad skin out more than anyone else does and you're right it really does suck that she does that. Bet you can't wait for the day she says your skin looks great, I know I can't!

But anyways good luck, I hope you can continue your treatment! :)

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Hey Kasey!

Thank you :) I've been putting a hot-warm cloth over it many times throughout the day to make it go down :( it sucks but I'm trying to get through it. I've been a little paranoid about not taking the medication these past 2 days...for some reason I'm thinking that if I don't continue it regularly, my acne will slowly come back and with much more. It's scary! But I know it isn't worth my eye problems. I'd much rather have healthy eyes than anything else since those are the most important part of our bodies. I'm hoping to go back on the medication in a few days so I can stay on track.

And the mom thing - oh boy! Moms seriously can make us feel the worst about ourselves... it's like they know they have that power over us. Augh!

How are you doing with your treatment?

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