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I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I'm a Senior and college right now and whenever I have a bad breakout, I avoid my friends and class. I stay in my room and when I need to go to the bathroom I just try to wait until no one is around, then I run in, use and run back in to my room. I fall behind in school because of this, but I really really have no choice. A friend of mine called me and asked why I don't go to class; I tell him that I'm sick. I trying not to lie because I do have an illness right now, right?

The other day I woke up with a lot of whiteheads all over my mouth and chin. I decide to go into the bathroom and have steam my face with some hot water. My suitemate walks into me with a tower over my head because of my steaming and I just felt so embarrassed. He never asked me what I was doing and now I'm just going to remember that forever. And right after that I just go on a popping spree because I panicked. Now I broke out with even more whiteheads around my mouth.

I recently decided to drink apple cider vinegar (ACV), and put some on my face. I feel that it will help if I keep at it, but, either I'm in the purging phase right now or it's still the effects of popping, squeezing or touching, I have even more whiteheads now.

I'm also not eating as much because I'm not sure what breaks me out and what doesn't anymore, and also because I'm just afraid to go make food because I might bump into one of my suitemates in the kitchen.

Recently decided I'm going to try to use less. First, I stopped washing with cleansers, then I decided to only use a cleanser at night when I'm showering, next I decide to only use a cleanser every other day after I exercise, and now I'm back to just using water and no medications. I only use jojoba oil, tea tree oil, and, a day ago, ACV. Now I'm just going to spot treat with BP only on the whiteheads. You might be wondering why I'm going so natural, and it's because I just don't think these cleansers and chemicals are going to work in the long run. I notice that the only people that wash their face with a cleanser is me and my brother. Guess who has acne? My suitemates and friends use water only. I even remember going to the swimming pool last year; I'm in the shower room with my friends and I'm using a cleanser. My friend asks, "what's that?" I say, "It's a facial cleanser", and he replies, "I don't use that stuff." Back then I thought, "Okay... well you don't have acne? Why should you?" And I wish I realized it sooner so I could try this "experiment" over the summer, but it just seems stupid to use a cleanser. I don't wear makeup, and I can just wash sweat off with water, so why the hell do I need a cleanser so badly that I spend hours and hours and hundreds and hundreds on looking for and buying these products?

I also just now came back from a little jogging to try to get some exercise and release some sweat, but it's cold outside right now and I mostly just breathed heavily and didn't sweat. So I come back and I'm thinking, "Well, that was a waste of time."

Here I am now. I never vent like this or to anyone, but I needed to say something. School sucks right now, and I really wish I was home.

Edited by Gattz

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I know how you're feeling, I'm in my third year of university right now and I'm having a really hard time going to classes, but it sounds to me like you live on campus? I can't imagine how that would be, I live at home so it's easier for me to avoid people but I do the same thing, I miss classes when my skin is really bad, and it is an illness so it's not really a lie... but I also feel like I'm wasting these years, I'm a really good student and my grades have been slipping a bit because I've been missing too many classes. I actually think I'm going to take this semester off, something I never thought I'd do, because I'm just finding it impossible to look in the mirror let alone see other people. I didn't have acne in high school but I often wonder what I'd have done then if I did... or maybe it's just harder to deal with in university/college because there are less people there with the same problem so it feels like everyone is paying attention to you.

I don't know what the answer is, but I'm sorry you're feeling that way, you're not alone

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Yes, I live on campus and it can be hell at times when you have a bad breakout. I really do feel like my grades would be better if I didn't have acne. I would go to class more, go study with friends, and just have a better experience.

Thanks for the support.

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I'm in college, too, and I always breakout once classes start. It's bad and sometimes I don't want anyone to see me. I can name several times these past few weeks when I was so close to just skipping class. However, I didn't. I just looked at the mirror and said "screw it" before packing up my stuff and leaving the room. The entire way to class I was self-conscious, but I held my head high (and mentally cursed at anyone who might have looked at me).

I keep telling myself that I'm on a big campus, no one's going to remember my face or care if I have acne. Also, people are much more accepting that we give them credit. Many people I meet don't care. I see many people on campus with acne and they don't seem to care either.

If you just hold your head high and look confident, you'll start to feel confident sooner or later. If you're confident and sure of yourself, people don't even notice the acne.

P.S. My suitemate has much worse acne than me. It's all over her face. I didn't notice it because she's so friendly and outgoing. Guys sure don't notice it because she has to fight them off with a stick.

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Sorry to hear that Gatz. I know we all want clear skin, but I can assure you that 99% of the people you meet in college won't care about your skin, too much else to think about to be completely honest. Student loans, meeting transfer requirements, getting the grade, where you go after college, it's all overwhelming to most people. Try to do your best to not stress about it, and realize that it'll pass in time once you find something that works for you, but stressing out about it and letting it affect things like school could have much longer effects on your life than the actual pimples.

I know how you feel though. I had pretty clear skin most of the time during my last couple years of high school, found a regimen that worked for me. For multiple and not completely understood reasons, I broke out into moderate to severe acne over the summer after graduation - my face was filled with at least 5-10 cysts at one time, and 20-50 pustules, and I didn't even think about blackheads until it started clearing towards the end of my second semester. There were times where it was awkward for me to hear people upset over the occasional pimple, but you just gotta ignore stuff like that. Anyone who minds don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. :) Try to get over this slump, I know you can!

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