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tothatesacne

When clear skin people look at me...

First of all I get super self conscious when talking to someone because I feel like they're staring at my acne. I use SUCH good eye contact so they feel weird if they're eyes were to leave mine.

But here is my REAL problem..........

Do you ever feel like all the people with the gorgeous, glowing, perfect skin looks at you and just thinks, "ew, why don't they just wash their face?!"

This thought goes through my head every single day.

I wish they had even the SLIGHTEST clue :(

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I think it's funny how the mind operates, you know? Because they have clear skin, the likelihood that they'll focus on your acne is actually not that great. :D They're not looking for it on your face. Besides, there are lots of people out there who are completely lovely and they don't care if you have blemishes. I had to book time off of work to see a dermatologist, and my boss asked me why (just candidly), and I said "I have acne?" and she told me she doesn't even notice it. I've been here for almost three years and my skin has gone through some absolutely horrific breakouts. Bottom line is, half the time they don't even notice.

As for the people who think you don't wash your face because you have acne, you don't want to be friends with people on that level of total ignorance anyway. You'd just want to smack them every time they open their mouths. ;)

You're on Accutane so you won't have to even worry about all this soon anyway. :D

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This is why I don't look people in the eyes. If you don't look people in the eyes, two things won't happen :

1. You won't see their clear skin (which your going to see most people have since most, as in 80 % of people, don't have acne) and get jealous. Well, I get jealous and have a sense of hate towards the person with clear skin because they have perfect lives with perfect skin and have no problems.

2. You won't see them looking at your acne (if they are; in which most cases, they actually are). So simply avoid eye contact with them. I'm not saying don't talk to them, just don't stare in their eyes. Believe me, I know what it's like for someone's eyes to be rolling up and down your face staring your acne down. It's not a good feeling.

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I feel the exact same way to the point where I actually hate getting near someone to even talk to them. It sucks because I feel like acne is really making me separated from my friends when I know it shouldn't but im just too worried about it constantly

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First of all I get super self conscious when talking to someone because I feel like they're staring at my acne. I use SUCH good eye contact so they feel weird if they're eyes were to leave mine.

But here is my REAL problem..........

Do you ever feel like all the people with the gorgeous, glowing, perfect skin looks at you and just thinks, "ew, why don't they just wash their face?!"

This thought goes through my head every single day.

I wish they had even the SLIGHTEST clue :(

I have clear skin (for 6+) years and I think exaclty the opposite. I say to myself, "they are over doing things", or "if only they didn't wash so much". Usually I see a person with acne as someone that is unaware of their skin and it just looks like a chemical burn on their face.

Here is how I cured my acne, perhaps it can help you:

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/cure-acne-t303211.html

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I had to book time off of work to see a dermatologist, and my boss asked me why (just candidly), and I said "I have acne?" and she told me she doesn't even notice it. I've been here for almost three years and my skin has gone through some absolutely horrific breakouts. Bottom line is, half the time they don't even notice.

Been in that kind of situation before when I had to mention it to someone and the response was, "Really? Are you sure?" I couldn't help but laugh. I mean, I was going through almost every minute of every working day thinking about my skin, feeling bad, avoiding conversation and never connecting with people... and for what? My reason for doing those things was essentially as a defence mechanism so that people didn't make fun of me, but it seems that they wouldn't have noticed anyway. I wish someone had pointed that out to me about eight years ago! :doh::lol:

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This is why I don't look people in the eyes. If you don't look people in the eyes, two things won't happen :

1. You won't see their clear skin (which your going to see most people have since most, as in 80 % of people, don't have acne) and get jealous. Well, I get jealous and have a sense of hate towards the person with clear skin because they have perfect lives with perfect skin and have no problems.

2. You won't see them looking at your acne (if they are; in which most cases, they actually are). So simply avoid eye contact with them. I'm not saying don't talk to them, just don't stare in their eyes. Believe me, I know what it's like for someone's eyes to be rolling up and down your face staring your acne down. It's not a good feeling.

I'm sorry but I completely disagree with this tactic. Making direct eye contact with people is really important.

1. It will force people to look directly into your eyes and not at your skin.

2. Eyes are the windows to the soul - you never know what important things you're missing by avoiding eye contact

3. Making eye contact is a really good way of displaying confidence. Even if you don't feel it, faking it is the first step in making that confidence real.

Perfect skin doesn't equate to a perfect life. Every single person in the world has something that they are unhappy about/insecure about.

I was saying to Paul on Sunday that people generally are so wrapped up in themselves they probably aren't really looking at anyone else.

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I was saying to Paul on Sunday that people generally are so wrapped up in themselves they probably aren't really looking at anyone else.

Indeed - which we proved right at that very moment as I was too busy chatting to notice the people around us!  :lol:  By the same token, we would have been nothing but a passing thought to them. 

Eye contact is vital because it helps people to read you. Then they move on to the next thing which catches their eye a moment later. 

If you blatantly avoid eye contact, it has the opposite effect because it's not a natural behaviour so you just end up drawing more attention to yourself.  Just something you have to practice and keep doing it until it is habit, it's never as difficult as you may first think.  :)

I was out in town after I posted this and it got me thinking about making eye contact with strangers. I usually look at people anyway, mainly because I'm watching where I'm going and seeing what's happening around me. I often find that if you smile at people, they tend to look away pretty quick. That came to mind and I tester it today. If someone was walking by me and they looked me in the eye, I looked back and smiled. Lost count of the number of times I did it, but every single person looked straight down at the floor. Even as insecure as I may be sometimes, I really don't think it's my problem - I'm simply not that ugly! ;):lol:

But it does leave me wondering why a lot of people seem to respond in that way though and what it is that's going on in society which is causing people to limit their interaction with strangers and almost physically recoil when it comes to basic things like eye contact or smiling or greeting someone. :confused:

Edited by PaulH85

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This is why I don't look people in the eyes. If you don't look people in the eyes, two things won't happen :

1. You won't see their clear skin (which your going to see most people have since most, as in 80 % of people, don't have acne) and get jealous. Well, I get jealous and have a sense of hate towards the person with clear skin because they have perfect lives with perfect skin and have no problems.

2. You won't see them looking at your acne (if they are; in which most cases, they actually are). So simply avoid eye contact with them. I'm not saying don't talk to them, just don't stare in their eyes. Believe me, I know what it's like for someone's eyes to be rolling up and down your face staring your acne down. It's not a good feeling.

Yeah I totally know what you mean. Depending on how I'm feeling that day... sometimes I'm like this too. But i also agree with abigailwheeler.

I'm reallyyyyy good at faking confidence. I try SO hard to be myself and not focus on my acne but when I feel like Kody and i just sense people's eyes rolling up and down my face.. all the fake confidence i had left in just deteriorates. It's a terrible feeling.

Anyways, i'm glad I'm not the ONLY one who feels like this. Although i'm sorry you guys feel the same way because i know how much it sucks!

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This is why I don't look people in the eyes. If you don't look people in the eyes, two things won't happen :

1. You won't see their clear skin (which your going to see most people have since most, as in 80 % of people, don't have acne) and get jealous. Well, I get jealous and have a sense of hate towards the person with clear skin because they have perfect lives with perfect skin and have no problems.

2. You won't see them looking at your acne (if they are; in which most cases, they actually are). So simply avoid eye contact with them. I'm not saying don't talk to them, just don't stare in their eyes. Believe me, I know what it's like for someone's eyes to be rolling up and down your face staring your acne down. It's not a good feeling.

I'm sorry but I completely disagree with this tactic. Making direct eye contact with people is really important.

1. It will force people to look directly into your eyes and not at your skin.

2. Eyes are the windows to the soul - you never know what important things you're missing by avoiding eye contact

3. Making eye contact is a really good way of displaying confidence. Even if you don't feel it, faking it is the first step in making that confidence real.

Perfect skin doesn't equate to a perfect life. Every single person in the world has something that they are unhappy about/insecure about.

I was saying to Paul on Sunday that people generally are so wrapped up in themselves they probably aren't really looking at anyone else.

Thanks for your reply :) I understand everything you're saying but as i said in my post above this, sometimes it's just SO hard.

But you did make a good, valid point.. and i do think i will think of this more. Even all the people with the perfect, glowing skin, there's somethinggg that they're self conscious about. And when i can't point it out I guess it just stresses the idea that my hatred of my skin is a lot more psychological then physical.

Anyways, i'm not sure if that made sense but i just want to thank you for your reply!

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I understand everything you're saying but as i said in my post above this, sometimes it's just SO hard.

From what I can see if your picture, you have a really great smile and I fail to see how anyone could pay more attention to any skin problems than they could to that. And if they did, they're probably not worth bothering with.

Fact is, even if someone looks and you can tell they're paying attention to acne or whatever, it doesn't have to be a big deal. If they're walking by, it's just a moment and they soon forget it. I only make something of it and turn it in on myself and feel bad if I choose to respond that way, they're not actually doing it to me. So instead, I try to take a different approach. In those situations, I amuse myself by smiling at them or saying hello. It throws them off because if there's someone who is smirking at me and giving the impression that they're feeling superior to me because their skin is better, by smiling directly at them or even saying hello, I'm taking control of that little interaction. It often feels like it's about control - probably that I can't always have total control of my skin - so those moments remind me that I only have to submit to the narrow-mindedness of others if I allow myself to do so and that I never need to do that because I'm worth more than that. We all are.

:)

Edited by PaulH85

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First of all I get super self conscious when talking to someone because I feel like they're staring at my acne. I use SUCH good eye contact so they feel weird if they're eyes were to leave mine.

But here is my REAL problem..........

Do you ever feel like all the people with the gorgeous, glowing, perfect skin looks at you and just thinks, "ew, why don't they just wash their face?!"

This thought goes through my head every single day.

I wish they had even the SLIGHTEST clue :(

I will tell you something.

NO ONE has perfect skin. The human race is not perfect. Therefore saying "perfect skin" by its very definition is a flawed statement.

Your reaction to people looking at you is down to you and your state of mind. The term "Self Conscious" say this is coming from you.

People look. I look at people everyday. If i see a good looking woman i look, acne or no acne, if i am attracted i am attracted.

I walk past a man who has a good physique, i will look because i understand the work involved.

If i look at person with acne it is because i sympathize with them.

My point is just because someone looks at you does not mean they are starring at your acne. It's your interpretation that determines the final outcome of how you feel about it.

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I understand everything you're saying but as i said in my post above this, sometimes it's just SO hard.

From what I can see if your picture, you have a really great smile and I fail to see how anyone could pay more attention to any skin problems than they could to that. And if they did, they're probably not worth bothering with.

Fact is, even if someone looks and you can tell they're paying attention to acne or whatever, it doesn't have to be a big deal. If they're walking by, it's just a moment and they soon forget it. I only make something of it and turn it in on myself and feel bad if I choose to respond that way, they're not actually doing it to me. So instead, I try to take a different approach. In those situations, I amuse myself by smiling at them or saying hello. It throws them off because if there's someone who is smirking at me and giving the impression that they're feeling superior to me because their skin is better, by smiling directly at them or even saying hello, I'm taking control of that little interaction. It often feels like it's about control - probably that I can't always have total control of my skin - so those moments remind me that I only have to submit to the narrow-mindedness of others if I allow myself to do so and that I never need to do that because I'm worth more than that. We all are.

:)

Haha aw, thank you :) And yeah i'm a lot like that actually. Like at school, I just smile at everybody to give them something to focus on other then my acne.

But then today I was in a conversation with this girl and I kept seeing her eyes being drawn down the my chin where i have a healing pimple and I know it's red and my makeup probably wasn't looking the greatest at that point.. so i lost all my self esteem. I had to go to the bathroom and attempt to touch up my makeup, which probably just made things worse because I had to look in the damn mirror!

Anyywaayyyss, sorry for the rant D:

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First of all I get super self conscious when talking to someone because I feel like they're staring at my acne. I use SUCH good eye contact so they feel weird if they're eyes were to leave mine.

But here is my REAL problem..........

Do you ever feel like all the people with the gorgeous, glowing, perfect skin looks at you and just thinks, "ew, why don't they just wash their face?!"

This thought goes through my head every single day.

I wish they had even the SLIGHTEST clue :(

I will tell you something.

NO ONE has perfect skin. The human race is not perfect. Therefore saying "perfect skin" by its very definition is a flawed statement.

Your reaction to people looking at you is down to you and your state of mind. The term "Self Conscious" say this is coming from you.

People look. I look at people everyday. If i see a good looking woman i look, acne or no acne, if i am attracted i am attracted.

I walk past a man who has a good physique, i will look because i understand the work involved.

If i look at person with acne it is because i sympathize with them.

My point is just because someone looks at you does not mean they are starring at your acne. It's your interpretation that determines the final outcome of how you feel about it.

Ugh but see that doesn't help much because now I feel like people look at me and feel bad for me because I have acne.

And when i say perfect skin, I mean referring to my point of views. But let me tell you... there is definitely plenty of people who DO have pretty damn close to perfect skin.

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Honestly, I'm pretty sure people with clear skin don't judge you. I don't even think they notice, I didn't even notice other peoples acne, until I got acne myself, now I scan peoples faces looking for acne, but it doenst mean I judge them or think they're uglier for their pimples, it's only cause I'm curious. Also, I know this is a terrible habit, but sometimes I look at peoples skin when I talk to them. But keep in mind, if I'm looking at a pimple on someone, im not think 'eww they're ugly', im thinking 'hmm.. a pimple. they're like me'. I'm not even thinking about attractiveness, because I dont think acne really affects people's looks(except for my own looks of course, because I'm crazy like that haha).

Also, people with clear "perfect" skin don't have perfect lifes. My skin is the clearest it's been in a longgg time, so much so that I don't feel self-concious without foundation, and I'm the saddest I've been in a while. My life isnt perfect. Now that I don't worry about my skin, I worry about different things, even more upsetting things. Thats all.

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Honestly, I'm pretty sure people with clear skin don't judge you. I don't even think they notice, I didn't even notice other peoples acne, until I got acne myself, now I scan peoples faces looking for acne, but it doenst mean I judge them or think they're uglier for their pimples, it's only cause I'm curious. Also, I know this is a terrible habit, but sometimes I look at peoples skin when I talk to them. But keep in mind, if I'm looking at a pimple on someone, im not think 'eww they're ugly', im thinking 'hmm.. a pimple. they're like me'. I'm not even thinking about attractiveness, because I dont think acne really affects people's looks(except for my own looks of course, because I'm crazy like that haha).

Also, people with clear "perfect" skin don't have perfect lifes. My skin is the clearest it's been in a longgg time, so much so that I don't feel self-concious without foundation, and I'm the saddest I've been in a while. My life isnt perfect. Now that I don't worry about my skin, I worry about different things, even more upsetting things. Thats all.

Aw thanks for your post. It actually did mean a lot and it got through to me.

Congrats with your skin!! I can't wait to get to that point.. but yeah i completely understand what you mean. I hope everything's okay and although i'm a stranger, if you ever want to talk just pm me (: thanks again!!

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<!--quoteo(post=3159013:date=Sep 15 2011, 07:37 AM:name=TakeToTheSkies)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (TakeToTheSkies @ Sep 15 2011, 07:37 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=3159013"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec--><!--quoteo(post=3158412:date=Sep 14 2011, 03:23 AM:name=tothatesacne)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (tothatesacne @ Sep 14 2011, 03:23 AM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=3158412"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->First of all I get super self conscious when talking to someone because I feel like they're staring at my acne. I use SUCH good eye contact so they feel weird if they're eyes were to leave mine.

But here is my REAL problem..........

Do you ever feel like all the people with the gorgeous, glowing, perfect skin looks at you and just thinks, <b>"ew, why don't they just wash their face?!"</b>

This thought goes through my head every single day.

I wish they had even the <i>SLIGHTEST</i> clue <img src="http://www.acne.org/messageboard/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad.gif" /><!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

I will tell you something.

NO ONE has perfect skin. The human race is not perfect. Therefore saying "perfect skin" by its very definition is a flawed statement.

Your reaction to people looking at you is down to you and your state of mind. The term "Self Conscious" say this is coming from you.

People look. I look at people everyday. If i see a good looking woman i look, acne or no acne, if i am attracted i am attracted.

I walk past a man who has a good physique, i will look because i understand the work involved.

If i look at person with acne it is because i sympathize with them.

My point is just because someone looks at you does not mean they are starring at your acne. It's your interpretation that determines the final outcome of how you feel about it.

<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

Ugh but see that doesn't help much because now I feel like people look at me and feel bad for me because I have acne.

And when i say perfect skin, I mean referring to my point of views. But let me tell you... there is definitely plenty of people who DO have pretty damn close to perfect skin.

It's all down to how you interpret a look.

People with "perfect" skin as you put it don't always have great lives. People are down and depressed for all sorts of reasons.

I don't mean to sound unsypmathetic, I have been through the same as you. However i learned a long time ago. Acne or no acne, this is my problem, this is my outlook, this is my own self doubt creeping in.

Fact is. If you ever want to get over this you need to leave it all behind and start changing the way you think. Acne or no acne, there really isn't any difference because when it comes down to it, it's what is in your head. Believe me when i first got clear i was still depressed. So i had to look deeper into why that was and fight the root cause of it. Acne was just on the surface and the scapegoat and this is true for everyone i have ever spoken to about this. They all have the same story. Still down and depressed even after getting clear.

We are a by product of social conditioning and indoctrinations of that we must look perfect. Screw that, who wants to be perfect? Lets evolve and be better than we are.

Humans are not perfect, there is no such thing as perfect skin, therefore stop worrying about it and reprogram yourself to think this way.

I really hope you feel better and you get there quick, but you wont get there by blaming acne or listening to people who are telling you what you want to hear. I am sorry to have to say that but some times, we acne sufferers need a verbal slap to get going.

All the best : )

Edited by TakeToTheSkies

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I never make eye contact; always look down and avoid conversation... but that's just me!

I've actually had people make comments like that to me before. One time I had a lady ask me if "I've ever tried washing my face."

Oh, if she only knew...

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QUOTE (wishing2Bclear @ Sep 15 2011, 03:47 PM)

Honestly, I'm pretty sure people with clear skin don't judge you. I don't even think they notice, I didn't even notice other peoples acne, until I got acne myself, now I scan peoples faces looking for acne, but it doenst mean I judge them or think they're uglier for their pimples, it's only cause I'm curious. Also, I know this is a terrible habit, but sometimes I look at peoples skin when I talk to them. But keep in mind, if I'm looking at a pimple on someone, im not think 'eww they're ugly', im thinking 'hmm.. a pimple. they're like me'. I'm not even thinking about attractiveness, because I dont think acne really affects people's looks(except for my own looks of course, because I'm crazy like that haha).

Also, people with clear "perfect" skin don't have perfect lifes. My skin is the clearest it's been in a longgg time, so much so that I don't feel self-concious without foundation, and I'm the saddest I've been in a while. My life isnt perfect. Now that I don't worry about my skin, I worry about different things, even more upsetting things. Thats all.

Aw thanks for your post. It actually did mean a lot and it got through to me.

Congrats with your skin!! I can't wait to get to that point.. but yeah i completely understand what you mean. I hope everything's okay and although i'm a stranger, if you ever want to talk just pm me (: thanks again!!

thanks for your concern, it means a lot to me that even people I dont know are considerate and caring, sometimes I start to belive that no one really is. anywho, thanks for caring! it means a ton! and im sure your skin will clear up soon, acne cant last FOREVER (even though sometimes it can feel like it will haha).

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