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HiImMatt

no one gives you a chance

Has trying to talk to people sometimes hard? Like when you walk up to a girl with they look at you and immediately walk away, or when you try to make friends you don't even get to say a few words, and they've already judged you and walk away because of the way you look? Why does it have to be this way? I'm a nice guy, i like to help people, like to see people happy, i can also be a fun guy to be around, i play guitar, play games, skateboard, can be funny, etc... Why don't some people give us a chance? Why must it be all about looks? If people would see your personality first then they have the right to judge, but not from some stupid skin problem, i mean seriously people. Don't you just hate that? I'm even afraid to get a job cause i think the manager would judge me by my skin and not hire me. Why can't it be about personality? Whats wrong with the world today? But its all acne's fault, Damn acne i wish you go back to hell were you came from, your not only ruining mine but so many people's lives. Uhh...Sorry, just needed to get this out this has been on my mind for weeks and i just need to rant about it. But i'd like to know, how many people here can relate, so please leave a comment if you'd like, thanks.

Edited by HiImMatt

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Whats wrong with the world today?

What has always been wrong with the world since the beginning: people aren't all nice and mature. :shrug: It's yesterday's news, really. Just try not to let the actions of the mean, immature percentage of society get you down.

Can I relate? Yes I can. I shouldn't go into detail, though. As by the time I'd be done you'd be even more upset! lol :P

Keep your chin up, mate.

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I totally understand what you mean. That minority of people who think us unworthy of their time because we're flawed really grate on me. What gives them the right to judge, I don't know. Sometimes you reach a point where you just give up, out of fear of being slighted. I used to avoid new people, rather than seek them. It's only changed as I've become more comfortable with myself.

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I've encountered a lot of people who decided to make fun of my skin over the years. That in itself is just matter of fact. Some people are idiots so that's what they do. I just took it to heart so it influences how I interact with people now and whether or not I approach new people. Despite the fact that I get lonely and I'd love to find new people to hang out with, right now I feel like the chance of me approaching people - anyone - unless I feel totally sure of them beforehand is almost zero. Feels kind of pathetic if I'm honest.

I think the reason it brings me down is because I actually need to do it but don't feel able. I need to do it in order to find a job, I need to do it in order to make friends, I need to do it to create opportunities and I need to do it if I want to enjoy life. When I can't do it, I just end up getting angry with myself. People who I thought would support me get angry at me as well which doesn't help.

My skin's not even the issue now, it is the behaviours that I have become stuck with over the years, which I put in place in order to try and cope with bullies and all. They've been in place so long that I don't know how else to be. Now, it's as if I fear there's a potential bully around every corner. I need to find a way out of that and I need to learn to change my behaviours. I need people to come along and prove me wrong, but that only happens if I get out there and find them, so it's just a vicious cycle which I struggle to break. Started working on it with therapy as of yesterday and I want to get there. Seems like a long road, but I have to try because simply existing rather than living is pointless and I don't want to be that way anymore.

Edited by PaulH85

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Despite the fact that I get lonely and I'd love to find new people to hang out with, right now I feel like the chances of me approach people - anyone - are almost zero.

? What about Ms. Wheeler then? =] You went all the way to Derby to hang out with Abigail man. And the two of you had a fun time, right?

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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Now, it's as if I fear there's a potential bully around every corner.

Yeah, you shouldn't live like that. Even though you should be aware of the "dangers" out there you shouldn't live in constant "fear" nor mistrust the average person you meet, I am of the opinion. Correct me if I misunderstood. I can relate, though.

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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You beat me to it before I edited my post, Lapis. ;)

I thought of the scenario you mentioned as I was typing that, hence the edit.

In that situation, I felt comfortable because it was someone familair. It just feels so much safer like that, compared to going up to someone you have no knowledge of at all and having no clue as to how they'll respond to you.

Edited by PaulH85

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You beat me to it before I edited my post, Lapis. ;)

I thought of the scenario you mentioned as I was typing that, hence the edit.

In that situation, I felt comfortable because it was someone familair. It just feels so much safer like that, compared to going up to someone you have no knowledge of at all and having no clue as to how they'll respond to you.

Oh right, I know what you mean. I've gotten past that, though. For the most part... I mean it's only natural to be a little "nervous" when meeting new people but for the most part I've gotten past this. Just last weekend I went to a friend's house, right? And there was this party next door where we almost would have gone to to "socialize" and I was actually looking forward to it. =] I didn't know a soul at that party but the idea of going out there was actually kind of exciting! Whereas in the past I'd be like super afraid of jamming up in the middle of conversations and all that awkward stuff... Ugh. So glad that's behind me. :nod:

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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I had a job interview recently as did my buddy, both for the same company. He got offered a senior position while they wanted to give me a junior one (there were multiple senior positions open) because apparently "I was a little green." There are definitely other factors at play yet I cant help, but think the particularly bad breakout I was having that morning weighed on those words. Both me and my buddy have the exact same credentials, he just has a couple more years experience; also, I know I did very well with the interview because I have years of experience doing professional public speaking. :think:

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I had a job interview recently as did my buddy, both for the same company. He got offered a senior position while they wanted to give me a junior one (there were multiple senior positions open) because apparently "I was a little green." There are definitely other factors at play yet I cant help, but think the particularly bad breakout I was having that morning weighed on those words. Both me and my buddy have the exact same credentials, he just has a couple more years experience; also, I know I did very well with the interview because I have years of experience doing professional public speaking. :think:

Yeah, a difference of "a couple of years" between you and him doesn't make you "a little green" one would think.

Edited by Lapis lazuli

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This might sound crazy but it is a good thing they do this. I am not advocating them doing it, but that is why it's a good thing. You find out who those people really are, who wants to hang around someone that shallow minded, that judgmental and superficial? No one that I know of. This may be harder for you since you are in your teens, frankly you don't have many options as most kids your age aren't mature yet. I know adults that do this, it is sad to see them do it to young people or even older people, not sad for the person that has acne, sad for the person that has a low center of brain power.

Edited by freeliving

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This might sound crazy but it is a good thing they do this. I am not advocating them doing it, but that is why it's a good thing. You find out who those people really are, who wants to hang around someone that shallow minded, that judgmental and superficial? No one that I know of. This may be harder for you since you are in your teens, frankly you don't have many options as most kids your age aren't mature yet. I know adults that do this, it is sad to see them do it to young people or even older people, not sad for the person that has acne, sad for the person that has a low center of brain power.

Hmm, You know, you might be right. It does give us a chance to see what kind of person they are, so when they act shallow and judgemental, we know they'd probably be bad friends anyway. Good comment, thanks! =)

Edited by HiImMatt

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Like when you walk up to a girl with acne they look at you and immediately walk away

then youre walking up to the wrong girls :/

Yeah..probably DX

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It really is a shame that in such an advanced society people still judge people for something they cannot control.

By the way, what kind of guitar do you have, how long you've been playing?

When I'm having a shitty day (mainly due to my skin) when I pick that guitar up and start playing, all of my problems fade away (for a short time anyways).

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For me I broke out over the summer and didn't see a lot of my friends until school started up last week, I was surprised at how many said absolutely nothing and trust me my problem is VERY visible. I'm growing to learn to accept myself, but not only myself but others as well, in a perverted way acne has opened me up to be more engaging towards other people. Yes I still get the long stares from some random but whatever, fuck them I don't know them and I don't want to know them.

Don't get me wrong I'm still self-conscious about myself but as time goes on, I'm learning to accept myself as well, this is something I couldn't do when I was clear.

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It really is a shame that in such an advanced society people still judge people for something they cannot control.

By the way, what kind of guitar do you have, how long you've been playing?

When I'm having a shitty day (mainly due to my skin) when I pick that guitar up and start playing, all of my problems fade away (for a short time anyways).

I have two guitars actually, one is a black CD-110 fender acoustic/electic, the other is a Ebony epiphone les paul electic. Been playing since i was 11 so its been 7 years. Yeah same for me, when im playing guitar i feel at ease :D. Anyway, thanks for commenting! =)

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I have two guitars actually, one is a black CD-110 fender acoustic/electic, the other is a Ebony epiphone les paul electic.

Very nice. I own a Taylor 214ce, and an Ibanez AE10. In 40 years I'll have enough for that Gibson Les Paul or a Taylor 914ce.

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I feel your pain. This is exactly the reason I don't even ATTEMPT to talk to girls. There's no point. They will take one look at me, and BAM, it will already be over. They see my acne and JUDGE me based on my skin before they even know me as a person. Kind of sad. It's even more sad that I could be pulling girls left and right if I didn't have acne. I'm a decent looking dude. And like you, I can't get a job either simply because of acne. And I WANT to get a job. Whatever, though. It is what it is. People are going to judge you based on your acne no matter what. You just have to accept it, I guess. People judge you based on your acne since their used to seeing people with clear, flawless skin like they have. Their not used to seeing people with acne since so little people have acne (2 out of 10). It's just not common, let's just face facts people. Acne is just not that common. When we go out in public, how often do we see others with acne? For me (when I do go out; which is rare), I hardly ever do.

Edited by Kody_R_F

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I feel your pain. This is exactly the reason I don't even ATTEMPT to talk to girls. There's no point. They will take one look at me, and BAM, it will already be over. They see my acne and JUDGE me based on my skin before they even know me as a person. Kind of sad. It's even more sad that I could be pulling girls left and right if I didn't have acne. I'm a decent looking dude. And like you, I can't get a job either simply because of acne. And I WANT to get a job. Whatever, though. It is what it is. People are going to judge you based on your acne no matter what. You just have to accept it, I guess. People judge you based on your acne since their used to seeing people with clear, flawless skin like they have. Their not used to seeing people with acne since so little people have acne (2 out of 10). It's just not common, let's just face facts people. Acne is just not that common. When we go out in public, how often do we see others with acne? For me (when I do go out; which is rare), I hardly ever do.

Yeah, i hear you. If girls would just give us one chance, then they would see what kind of person we truly are, were not monsters. Were not contagious. Were not freaks. Were just normal guys with a stupid skin problem, thats all. I've only been able to pull one job but it was with my father and it lasted for 4 days. Made a good 540$ though. But now i have to find a full time job were i can work at all the time, *sigh*...acne makes it so tough to do anything.

I hardly ever see someone with acne as well. And if i do, there might only be like one or two little pimples on there face, so nothing to really complain about there. But i've always wondered if everyone in the whole world with acne came and stood in one spot altogether, how many would there be...Hmm. Anyway, i understand ever word you said, i wish life would give us people with acne a break. Btw, thanks for commenting =).

Edited by HiImMatt

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