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When you have a girlfriend or boyfriend and you breakout, and you have a date next day or something do you cancel it or still go with acne?

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You go with it and face it. (literally)

She needs to love you unconditionally, and if she cannot do that, then she doesnt deserve you.

This is a great time to test (if you may) her love for you.

And remember confidence is key. All the best. :)

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i would just cancel it, but if i have a breakout again and my boyfriend wants to see me...i would just put makeup on and that´s it. i can´t cancel every single day when he wants to see me. because then. what kind of relationship would it be?.

Edited by Nair Houston

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I honestly think that if the person can't love you with or without acne then they don't really like you all that much. My face recently broke out, after going off doxycycline. It went from 100% clear, flawless skin to a new pimple every day.

However, my boyfriend still looks at me exactly the same and tells me that I am beautiful no matter what. It definitely helps the ordeal.

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I've only ever been in that situation once. Mainly because after it went so horribly wrong, I have shied away from dating ever since! It was a total disaster and I should have cancelled. I only went along because I would have felt bad for letting the girl down, and in the end she was so horrible to me about my acne. Of course that was her problem and she wouldn't have been a nice person to be around anyway, but it still wasn't a nice thing to go through.

If it's with someone new, my experiences would tell me to cancel. If it were someone I was already in a relationship with, then it's a given that they like me for who I am, in which case it wouldn't really seem like such an issue and I would go.

Edited by PaulH85

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I would go to it. Otherwise I'd be essentially pretending to be someone I'm not; someone that doesn't have acne. If that 1 date is going to develop into another date, and another and then another, the person your going on the date with has to accept you for who you are, acne included!

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I've only ever been in that situation once. Mainly because after it went so horribly wrong, I have shied away from dating ever since! It was a total disaster and I should have cancelled. I only went along because I would have felt bad for letting the girl down, and in the end she was so horrible to me about my acne. Of course that was her problem and she wouldn't have been a nice person to be around anyway, but it still wasn't a nice thing to go through.

If it's with someone new, my experiences would tell me to cancel. If it were someone I was already in a relationship with, then it's a given that they like me for who I am, in which case it wouldn't really seem like such an issue and I would go.

Seriously, Paul, I don't really get why you've never had a girlfirend before. From what I read here on the community, you seem like such a nice and sensible guy! I always enjoy reading your posts and think to myself, that it must be great to be around you. (And somewhere on here I read that you like metal music and photography, so that would be a biiiig plus, also!). But sadly, I don't live in the U.K. :( ;-)

As for the topic, I think you should go to that date! If she is repelled by your brakout or anything, then she's a very shallow girl! But to tell the truth, I don't know if I would actually go, when being in the same situation. ;-) It's always easier to give positive advice than to really follow it.

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Seriously, Paul, I don't really get why you've never had a girlfirend before. From what I read here on the community, you seem like such a nice and sensible guy! I always enjoy reading your posts and think to myself, that it must be great to be around you. (And somewhere on here I read that you like metal music and photography, so that would be a biiiig plus, also!). But sadly, I don't live in the U.K. :( ;-)

Awww, that's sweet. Thank you. Yes, metal music and photography are my two biggest passions. Music especially has been the one constant thing in my life for many years now and I honestly don't know where I'd be without it. You know, the world isn't so big, and I wouldn't mind leaving England anyway... ;)

I guess the reason for the zero relationships is essentially what I mentioned in my reply - the fact that I haven't tried. I tell myself I don't know how, which of course is because I haven't tried. And I continue deciding not to try because I don't know how. So it's just a vicious cycle which I've repeated forever, and I suppose it gets harder to get the experience as more time passes and you get older. Perhaps being a teenager and not having any kind of experience with things like that can be expected, but it's different in adulthood because it's seems like pretty much everyone else is experienced to some degree by that point.

The situation with the girl I mentioned in my reply happened when I was about 18 and I think it's just stayed with me because of how bad it turned out. I told myself it was better not to bother if that was what would happen. I was bullied through school because of my acne so I started to tell myself it was better to avoid social situations. Fast forward a couple of years after leaving school and I had that date - prior to which I told myself that maybe it would be different and maybe girls would be different - and she turned out to be just like the bullies. So then I started to avoid dating situations as well. Feel I've been left behind since then so things stay as they are. Even if that bad experience hadn't happened, I don't think anything would be different because I don't like myself so it's not feasible that I would be able to present myself in a positive light in person which someone else may find attractive. I assume that for many, the dating and things happen simply as part of their natural progression - going out with friends and meeting girls that way - but I don't have a social circle so it hasn't happened for me.

I don't know, maybe I'll be able to work it out out one day, learn to like myself and not be so scared of being around people or being in social situations.

:)

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Seriously, Paul, I don't really get why you've never had a girlfirend before. From what I read here on the community, you seem like such a nice and sensible guy! I always enjoy reading your posts and think to myself, that it must be great to be around you. (And somewhere on here I read that you like metal music and photography, so that would be a biiiig plus, also!). But sadly, I don't live in the U.K. :( ;-)

Awww, that's sweet. Thank you. Yes, metal music and photography are my two biggest passions. Music especially has been the one constant thing in my life for many years now and I honestly don't know where I'd be without it. You know, the world isn't so big, and I wouldn't mind leaving England anyway... ;)

I guess the reason for the zero relationships is essentially what I mentioned in my reply - the fact that I haven't tried. I tell myself I don't know how, which of course is because I haven't tried. And I continue deciding not to try because I don't know how. So it's just a vicious cycle which I've repeated forever, and I suppose it gets harder to get the experience as more time passes and you get older. Perhaps being a teenager and not having any kind of experience with things like that can be expected, but it's different in adulthood because it's seems like pretty much everyone else is experienced to some degree by that point.

The situation with the girl I mentioned in my reply happened when I was about 18 and I think it's just stayed with me because of how bad it turned out. I told myself it was better not to bother if that was what would happen. I was bullied through school because of my acne so I started to tell myself it was better to avoid social situations. Fast forward a couple of years after leaving school and I had that date - prior to which I told myself that maybe it would be different and maybe girls would be different - and she turned out to be just like the bullies. So then I started to avoid dating situations as well. Feel I've been left behind since then so things stay as they are. Even if that bad experience hadn't happened, I don't think anything would be different because I don't like myself so it's not feasible that I would be able to present myself in a positive light in person which someone else may find attractive. I assume that for many, the dating and things happen simply as part of their natural progression - going out with friends and meeting girls that way - but I don't have a social circle so it hasn't happened for me.

I don't know, maybe I'll be able to work it out out one day, learn to like myself and not be so scared of being around people or being in social situations.

:)

I agree, Paul seems a lovely boy ! stop thinking so much and just go for it, not every girl is going to judge you, lots of us dont have perfect skin so we feel just as self consious as you. But just maybe two people with acne cancel out each others self consious ness! Its worth a try

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I cry about it, feel sorry for myself, but go anyway.

I remember I once went on a date (with a guy who was my boyfriend for two years), and I had the BIGGEST scab from where I'd picked a spot into absolute oblivion. I was having such a nice time that I didn't realize 'til I got home that it had actually cracked and it was bleeding. He didn't say anything. I was absolutely mortified and he still thought I was choice.

I look back on it and laugh now but it wasn't very frigging funny back then! :lol:

Don't let it stop you from doing what you want to do. You're not a body with a soul, you're a soul with a body. ;)

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I agree, Paul seems a lovely boy ! stop thinking so much and just go for it, not every girl is going to judge you, lots of us dont have perfect skin so we feel just as self consious as you. But just maybe two people with acne cancel out each others self consious ness! Its worth a try

:wub:

I guess it comes down to being brave enough to try. In many scenarios, I can just about manage to face the fear. But where this subject is concerned, I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I think it's because I'd be going it alone and it's just not feasible to go out on your own socially, to bars or clubs or whatever, and not appear like a total odd-ball. Well, that's usually how I've felt, so that was probably how I was perceived. Perhaps that's another vicious cycle - my perception of myself becoming what others actually see.

I used to really dwell on it and bring myself down about it, and there are probably a whole bunch of my epic emo posts here about it, too! :shifty: I'd never really expressed it before so when I came here I just let it all flow. Feel like I figured a lot of it out these days so now I just end up thinking, 'Meh, it is what it is, I'm sure I'll get around to sorting it and it'll all work out one day'. No worries. :D

And I can only wish that I was unable to over-think. Never really been able to turn it off. Perhaps I should write the ramblings of my mind down and see if it's worth publishing, could be the ticket to my fortune! ;):lol:

Edited by PaulH85

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I've only ever been in that situation once. Mainly because after it went so horribly wrong, I have shied away from dating ever since! It was a total disaster and I should have cancelled. I only went along because I would have felt bad for letting the girl down, and in the end she was so horrible to me about my acne. Of course that was her problem and she wouldn't have been a nice person to be around anyway, but it still wasn't a nice thing to go through.

If it's with someone new, my experiences would tell me to cancel. If it were someone I was already in a relationship with, then it's a given that they like me for who I am, in which case it wouldn't really seem like such an issue and I would go.

man. What a c.unt. I don't how people like this girl exist... shouldn't they evolve out already?

You're a great guy Paul, and really interesting. That's rare, now go ask someone equally interesting out.

As to the original question, no, do not cancel. If it works out they're gonna see you with a zit eventually. Or worse.

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No, I wouldn't cancel. Then again, my boyfriend is from this site soooo...acne is a given and we are both 100% comfortable with it and everything else.

Come on now...if you have feelings for someone, or to go even deeper, love someone, they aren't going to care. It's cliched but no one is perfect and why take yourself so seriously?

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You go with it and face it. (literally)

She needs to love you unconditionally, and if she cannot do that, then she doesnt deserve you.

This is a great time to test (if you may) her love for you.

And remember confidence is key. All the best. :)

Your right DarkDesire, I would do the same. A test indeed! If a mere pimple on your face would scare your date away then you deserve a better one, she's not worth your time. :angel:

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